Everything Must Go…

The one thing traveling certainly creates is the opportunity to meet new and interesting people from all walks of life. People that you may not interact with on a daily basis. People who you normally wouldn’t consider your type of people. People who challenge you to step outside of your comfort zone and try something a little different. The other thing travel does is create an opportunity to collect stories and ideas as you go. Everyone has a story to tell and if you give them enough time they will tell your their story/stories over a coffee or alcoholic beverage. Well at least that’s what the team tends to do when they begin tell stories of their endeavours to complete strangers in attempts to pass the time.

Having travelled a lot over the last couple of months, the team at A Mind of Its Own has had the opportunity to sit and listen to a lot people share their stories, experiences and knowledge. Whether it be in direct conversation or through the ancient are of active listening and people watching. Yes we know it is a little creepy but you should really try it some time. Sitting there, over hearing people talk in cafes, bars, restaurants or the airport lounge. Like we did you will hear thousands of stories that range from the believable to the downright insane but there is always someone there sharing with friends or family. By sharing our stories we ensure they are passed on from generation to generation or captured for time eternal when someone takes the time to write them down.

For centuries human beings have shared stories whether it by to pass on history or for entertainment purposes. Humans have always been fascinated and intrigued by the storyteller, from the days of cavemen sitting around a fire grunting their history to children to modern-day parents taking their children to the local library for storytime. Before books, magazines, movies and social media we told each other stories ranging on true to flights of fantasy. From the day we are born till they day we move on from this world we continue to listen to and tell stories whether it be by recounting a memory or moment in time or creating something fictional from the creative recesses of our minds.

Mystery, Horror, Science Fiction, Thrillers, Action and Adventure, Western, Romance and Drama are all categories born from the imaginative minds of storytellers, from everyday people who found an idea and expanded upon it creating and building each scene, each character in their mind like a picture while they recount their story to those who were willing to listen. Even as you recount a memory to family or friends you can’t help but see it moment by moment in your mind, clear as the day it actually happened. As technology advanced and humans developed we were able to take down accounts of those stories. Firstly on stone, then papyrus, finally paper and now digitally to forever live in the cloud (Some guys computer and server in India or the Philippines).

Your favourite writers, artists are great storytellers who have earned a living out of using their wonderful ability to charm and create a story in the minds of their readers, listeners, viewers or even on a blank canvas. Yes each painting, drawing, sketch, doodle tells a specific story in the mind of its creator, yet the person looking at it may see a completely different story in their head. It is their ability to draw in an audience that allows them to craft their art and become masters in their chosen field. Even the guy at your local bar, you know the one we are talking about. The one with his favourite stool that no one else sits in (Well no one who’s a regular anyway), no matter what day it is he’s there sipping on his mid strength sharing a yarn or two with anyone who is willing to listen.

By the time you’ve had your third beer you are enthralled by the man’s life and the things he has seen. The pictures floating through your mind are reminiscent of a motion picture, you give faces to the people, colour to the picture and create life all within the recesses of your own mind. Like a wizard casting a spell, the storyteller has you once again has you entranced and under his spell. Instead of worrying about the outside world for the first time in a long time you find yourself present in the moment. Sharing a drink, a laugh and a story with someone you might not necessarily take the time to stop and talk to on an ordinary day. But you’ve sat there enough and overheard enough of his stories that it’s piqued your interest.

Sitting around the office we began to banter around some of the more out their stories of people we had heard or had recounted to us over the past couple of weeks. There were stories of tragedy, stories of pain, stories of growth and great triumph, stories that made us laugh till a little bit of wee came out and then there were the stories that just had us scratching our heads and asking if that had really just happened. After bantering about the stories we began to storyboard them in what would later be known as the Travel Diary of Deviant Men and Women. We wondered if taking the names and places out could we share some of them with our faithful followers. After a quick google search around proprietary information and copyright laws it became quite clear that as long as we didn’t claim them as our own we were good to go and able to share them with you we just had to ensure that we included a disclaimer..

The following is a collection of storytellers we’ve gathered from around this beautiful country during our travels over the last couple of months. We have tried to recreate events, locales and conversations from our memories of them, In order to maintain their anonymity in some instances we have changed the names of individuals and places. We may have changed some identifying characteristics and details such as physical properties, occupations and places of residences. Google told us we should include a disclaimer so that no one sued our backsides. We are in love with Google here at A Mind of Its Own, it’s like an all-knowing prophet that provides us with much-needed free legal advice. Could google be the fabled Cyberdyne Systems of the Terminator franchise? Oh and that isn’t us saying if you have legal issues just google everything. If you are in trouble go and see someone who went to university studied law, passed the BAR or whatever we call it in Australia and is practicing law as a paid professional

Trying to choose our stories and their storytellers is like you trying to pick your favourite children, yes you all say you don’t have a favourite but deep down we all know you do!. We ummed and ahhed amongst the team as to who should be included and which stories. There was also the element of what was safe and what wasn’t safe for publication after all we are a family friendly blog who never posts anything that is Not Safe For Work (NSFW). At the end of the day it came down to the coin toss, stories and their tellers pitted against one another in the ultimate decision-making process. Heads versus tails, two on a Wednesday outside of the Anzac period is frowned upon but look we aren’t gambling with any money, just people’s ability to tell share their stories on our esteemed platform.

Some of the stories we’ve heard over the years have been better than others like the guy who’s sister arrested him for public urination off a bridge in the wee hours of the morning (pun intended). Or our first story-teller the ‘sausage king of Canberra’ as we came to calling him, had us in stitches with his self-proclaimed status of King, but his realm is not one that most people would want to rule over particularly in this day and age given the #metoo movement and push for greater equality and rights for women. Just all round treating woman better, well not just women, treating everyone in general better.

So SKOC for short is one gentleman that certainly had us somewhat baffled and enthralled at the same time by his stories. He works with some pretty high up and influential people in the country who would be pretty shocked to hear that his hobby and so-called Kingdom was collecting pornography. Not only did he collect it but then he also categorised it and saved it. The kid had over 3 terabytes of porn and growing, safe to say he was also a virgin who doesn’t have a girlfriend. But nevertheless he had us mesmerised by the stories he told, in such detail that we knew then they weren’t a lie. But to be safe we often fact checked his stories just to be on the safe side.

The second cab to pull away from the curb contains our next story and it’s teller. Riding in the backseat while pecking away at some document to ensure is employer doesn’t get screwed in some major deal. Joey, Joseph or the law as he is better known to his friends and family has become someone we trust, admire and perhaps even look up to a little. A self-proclaimed trendetarian he’s always working on some diet he’s read up on the internet and happy to share it with any and everyone including his wife and kids. Most of his stories though if he’s not recounting something legendary his kids have done come from time before all that.

A time when we was young and wild and free thanks Snoop you are still a great rapper even if you now have to collaborate to make a decent song. Back to the law, he’s a bit of a storyteller in general but once he’s had a couple of the finest low carb beers available there is no stopping. There are stories from his misspent childhood through to his university days and even some of the nights out we’ve had out with him over the last couple of years when things have become a little hazy. As some of his mates may remind him frequently when they get together and he gets on a low carb beer induced roll ‘we’ve heard this one before’.

Being a father it’s no wonder he’s a good storyteller and we can’t wait till the day he can sit back with his son’s or daughters, we can’t remember how many he has or what sex they are (Ok we know how many, their sex, ages and names, we are trying to protect his anonymity), and recount his youth with them over a nice cold tinnie or two, no doubt it will be low carb but we’ll never get him on full fat frothies. Regardless of his poor choice in beer we’ve had a good yarn or too and shared some stories with him over time and hope to share many, many more.

Our third and final storyteller is the greatest of them all, a man who had seen it all, done it all and was made out of solid stone. Tough as nails and yet compassionate and caring at the same time. He was a man that books should be written about, a man that in our eyes was a hero, a legend and an all round great man. Yes before we go on, we acknowledge that we have haven’t been very equal in our choosing of storytellers and for that we apologise. We have nothing against women or women who tell a good yarn, in this case they just lost out to luck. That simple toss of the coin excluded them from making the cut.

A husband, father, brother, grandfather and son, he was the best of men always there with an anecdotal reference, a story or to lend a hand. He was a many that told many a story both fact and fiction, from the times they’d finish work and ride their horses down to into, and yes you didn’t read that wrong, into the bar to the times he played football for Fitzroy. He would sit with you listen and then tell you a story that would put everything back into perspective.He was always ready with an example of the good old days, of a time simpler before technology began taking over our lives and the lives of those around us.

An accomplished horseman watching him work with stock whether it be sheep, cattle or other horses was reminiscent of watching the man from snowy river. He could hunt, fish and camp with little to no supplies. A true man of the land, a true cowboy a man with many tales to tell, a man who died with many of those stories still in him. Someone that the team here will always hold dear to them he was a true storyteller and someone who lived a long full life that allowed him to gather his own stories and those of others around him to pass on. An inspiration that helped start this blog he was always someone who told you to follow your dreams no matter how many times you stumble and fall. If you keep getting up you will eventually get what you want. They can take everything from you but they can never take the fight. Not a truer word could be said. Not a truer more genuine storyteller will ever be found.

So as we close our blog on the storytellers, on the men and women who have inspired, encouraged, educated and often distracted from the day-to-day worries of life we take our hats off to the Kings, Cusslers, Rowlings, Lees just to name a few and other storytellers of the world who have inspired us and future generations of storytellers, artists, poets and musicians to continue telling stories whether they be fact or fiction the power of a story is stronger than we realise. The power of a story can often be the thread holding society together, a dream a mere idea that can give power to bigger things. From that one little spark of an idea grows into something to be shared throughout time, from generation to generation.

So from the team here at A Mind of Its Own, if you find something that inspires you to create, to inspire, to share, to dream! Do it, if it makes you happy, if it makes you stop and think and want to inspire others then we encourage you to do whatever it is that makes you want to share your story and stories through your passion whether it be a hobby or your job. As we bid you another farewell until next week, stay safe and be good to your parents, they’ll share the most stories with you throughout your lives.

Reason Is Treason…

Well it’s all over red rover! We are back in the office googling funny pet videos pretending to work instead of being out on road driving past, cane fields, more cane fields, cows, more cows, oh look some sheep for something different! A beach, a lake or a river! The trip has come to an end which sitting in an office all day listening to people drone on about spreadsheets, finances, sales and other crap, that is offending our minds still set in holiday mode has made us want to crawl up under the desk and cry a little. It did make us wish that A Mind of Its Own was a travel blog… OK only for a split second we take on all the things other people want to avoid and travelling is certainly not one of them.

After last week’s piece on Outrage Porn and if you didn’t read it go back and read it before you start jumping up and down going what the fuck and being morally outraged that a decent publication like ours would even talk about porn. Like so many kids have said to their parents “It’s not what you think” so just read it before you make your mind up. Getting back on track after last week’s piece we’ve been worried as to what we’ll be able to come up with this week that will be so provocative that readers will want more and more. What topic can we absolutely kill in our quirky way that seems to work for us, what can we make the third post of the year all about? Who can we offend this week without trying, as we morally outrage people who just need to be outraged about something for their week to function normally.

Well we took one look at politics and the words, “not a chance”, reverberated around the room in a continuous echo. Between Trump back at his wall building best and our own politicians coming up with hairbrained ideas the world of politics is well a little like a circus you could say. Maybe politics isn’t such a bad topic to cover after all there is always something hilarious going on or someone coming up with a stupid idea on how we can run the country just that little bit better or build a wall, start an army for space or in our case eradicate a pest problem we’ve had for years through our work for the dole scheme. Thanks Pauline you are our favourite clueless, racist, Ranga!

As we walked past Parliament House, yes the team are once again in the Nation’s capital soaking in the sun and dry heat, on another work excursion which will no doubt have a travel disaster story somewhere along the way. It got us thinking about the big playhouse on the hill. Have you ever watched Question Time on ABC? Well if you haven’t we suggest you do, try turning the volume right down and do what we do. Make up the words for them, they only argue like school children anyway, speaking over the top of each other and yelling out abuse if they don’t agree with something or someone. It’s quite hilarious even with the volume on. In a sense it is literally like watching kids on the school ground argue about which spice girl is better or whether G.I Joes are better than transformers.

If it’s not Pauline telling us how to fix the Cane Toad problem like they are cans at a recycling centre it’s old mate Scott Morrison our current PM telling us what we supposedly want to hear after his holiday on NSW central coast. Apparently old ScoMo ran into some locals who told him exactly what all Australians wanted and needed for the country to run successfully. Our question was how many schooners of Tooheys New were consumed before he found his balls and asked the yokels. We certainly weren’t asked, were you? That’s the thing we’ve always found with politicians, they are all professional liars. They’ll tell you one thing to get your vote and then either forget about it or make up a lame excuse as to why it couldn’t be done. Parliament reminds us a lot of the school yard, it’s made up of jocks, nerds, bullies and geeks the only thing they all have in common is they want power and are happy to stampede over one another to get it.

As Uncle Ben said to Peter Parker “With great power, comes great responsibility” well unlike Spiderman our politicians are anything but responsible. We’ve got Neonazi members of parliament attending rallies and throwing down white supremacy salutes, we’ve got a former fish n chip shop owner who sold her shop to people of chinese descent after claiming that we are being overrun by the chinese and should be fortifying our position. You’ve got a former farmer / deputy prime minister who got his staffer pregnant, yeah the media cried scandal as soon as they heard that news. We’ve had more politicians resign due to their dual citizenship than we have cricketers who got off the mark against India in the recent test series.

Where can we really go from here? Surely we can’t find anything else that could upset the children in the big school yard on the hill? Ah we would all be oh so very, very wrong! There was bullying in the parties and even some sexual harassment from a female member which whilst might not be that shocking to hear but it’s usually our over privileged male politicians doing the inappropriate fondling at events. There are plenty of those stories and none of them unfounded, as the MeToo campaign continues to grow around the world more and more women are speaking out against sexual harassment, misconduct, assault and workplace bullying. Suggestions a plenty flood in as to what we could be doing better in Australian Politics.

One of the first things that comes to mind would be to keep a Prime Minister for their full term regardless of sex, gender (Apparently they are two seperate things these days, the non-binary thing still confuses the hell out of us) race, age and anything else that could be considered discriminatory but instead of doing that we have party back backstabbing like we are fighting over the popular boy, girl or non-binary at school. Which results in a change of Prime Minister every 6 months or so. It’s no wonder world leaders giggle at us, points at us and laughs at the commonwealth colony that can’t get their act together while the rest of the world continues to develop.

The state of Australia’s leadership on the world state is almost as laughable as Donald and his wall. We said almost the fact that he’s still banging on about building his wall and that it will lower crime rates has us rolling around the office in fits of laughter. Drug cartels already have a way around the existing walls along the US/Mexico border and like all immovable objects there are always ways around them. Has Trumpasaurus Rex been paying attention to the tunnels dug under the border at all? We think not, what’s to stop the cartels using other methods to move their merchandise? Narco submarines, airplanes, cars, human mules. Yeah nah your wall is going to make all the difference just like your taupe and oompa loompa tan Mr Trump.

Twenty Nineteen could see yet another change in leadership of this great island nation as we head into an election early in the year. Before too long your TV screens will be flooded with scare campaigns about what will happen if you elect the Liberals or Labour, National Party, Greens, One Racist Party, sorry we mean One Nation. Scandals a plenty will grace the front pages of newspapers and the country will go into shutdown while a caretaker government moves into office until the results of the class presidency are readout to the plebs whom they govern and make decisions for. We’ve hit google several times already this week to get its advice on who we should vote for. Like a magic eight ball it pretty much told us to try again later once they received some brown paper bags from one of the parties who’ll want to come back top of the search results list.

No conspiracy theories here right? Every government acts above board and is forthcoming with each and every decision they make right? History has a habit of repeating itself and judging by the amount of dodgy dealings that have gone on throughout the years around the world we doubt that the Australian government, both current, past and future have all kept their noses clean. We know backroom deals are a done thing in politics, business and even the dark recesses of the world where shady shit is the norm. So why would we feel that electing one shady official over another was going to lead to our government being open and honest with the people it serves? Yes it is a privilege to serve the people of a nation not a right but a lot of politicians can’t see past their own ego to realise that.

They say if you have a problem with something you can either do something about or you should be quiet. Well i think the last thing the Nation needs is A Mind of Its Own running off on tangents every time there was an important decision to be made. They want to open a detention centre in the visitors centre at Uluru? And A Mind of Its Own sure build another 4 new boats for the Navy or better yet let’s create another branch of the military for space!Why should Donald have all the fun. While we are on the topic can we build a wall between us and New Zealand? There are far too many Kiwis hitting our shores every year and not returning! The Gold Coast is full of them! Deport them all we say. See what we mean? The A Mind of Its Own team getting involved in politics is not a good idea! We’ll write about it, comment about it, bitch and moan about it but not get involved for the simple fact that like the blogs name the people that write it are just as random as the content often is.

For all our Australian readers, as you head to the polling booths on the 18th of May this year, please, pretty, pretty please do your homework on who you want to run this country at least for the six months after the election. Based on trends their own party will want them out within the year as they fight amongst themselves as to who should lead Australia on the world stage or who looks better in a pair of budgie smugglers on the north shores of Sydney. We just hope who it is starts to do things important for Australia to continue growing and developing as a nation. Invest in the things that actually matter. Education, Health and Australia’s declining sporting ability should all be top of mind come Federal Budget time on the hill.

So once again we’ve skirted the edges of a topic that could well and truly be controversial, we’ve ignored all the important things and focussed on the lack of ability to govern nations and take into account the things the public really require and we’ve focussed on all the things that the politicians are well known for. In the political world it’s all sex, drugs and rock n roll as we head into the election period. As Pauline once famously said ‘I don’t like it’ which gave the nation one of the best political parody songs of the last decade. But didn’t seen to do any damage to her political career as our bigoted country folk continue to vote for her and her racist ways. Is Pauline a secret Neonazi? Does she have history with the Aryan race? Heck we could write a bunch of conspiracy theories relating to the ranga from Queensland who built her political career covered in batter and chicken salt.

Closing another chapter on a discombobulated Mind of Its Own we look at a blog that makes little to no sense and attempt to summarise into something that resembles intelligence and English. The 18th of May 2019 make sure you vote and vote for someone your values align with and you want to represent you as a world leader. Oh and remember all those sneaky little backroom deals. Just watch those if you vote for an independant, they aren’t as independent as they make out and tend to align themselves with a major party. From the team here in the Nation’s Capital hangout in the gallery above parliament waiting for the kids to come in swinging with their verbal punches at one another we bid you farewell and good tidings until the next installment of Australia’s soon to be favourite blog.

Lazer Gun Show…

It started with a whisper and grew in size as it gained momentum like a train picking up speed along the tracks, clickety clack, clickety clack. An idea that would take the team on an adventure to parts and places they’ve never been before into the great unknown. Ok well maybe they won’t be going into the great unknown. Everywhere they’ll go will be populated so nothing is unknown at all, but it sounded good so bare with us as we hit you with this diatribe. For 10 days we are putting the team in a beat up Subaru Forester and hitting the wide open road. Starting in northern queensland (Townsville) we’ll drive all the way to Nowra, making plenty of stops along the way as we ponder life and all that surrounds us in this big brown land.

While a lot of people find traveling to be somewhat boring the team here at A Mind of Its Own are somewhat used to living an airport life, hoping on a bus or riding a train if they aren’t sitting in the driver’s seat of the company Prius feeling somewhat emasculated. There is nothing worse than sitting at the lights and performance car pulls up next to you, the throaty sound of the engine as it revs next to you. The engines power vibrating through the roads surface. Meanwhile you put you your foot to the floor and hear the whiz of the electric motor in your overpowered golf cart. Ah to be rich and or famous we could have a fleet of priuses to save the environment with despite the fact we have to mine rare earth minerals to make the batteries. No contradiction there at all folks, hybrid is the way of the future.

SO getting back on track, to start the journey the team decided to head back to where so many laughs and blogs were created throughout last year. Yes the journey is starting in the leafy gold coast suburb of varsity lakes. Namely the train station, fortunately there are no plastic fantastics or cashed up bogans about for the team to get distracted and write yet another blog around the latest plastic surgery or body enhancement craze. Oh in case you were wondering the latest craze is botox. For men and no not in the face or lips but right in the mummy, daddy button, yeah we live in a wonderfully fucked up world sometimes.

Varsity lakes train station, where we loaded up the teams supplies of bottled water, MRE’s and first aid equipment. Come on guys we are going north not to some unexplored area of the amazon. Finally we set out for Brisbane airports domestic terminal. The train ride is somewhat sobering after the blitzed feeling we are left with having just come from a team lunch down at Coolangatta surf club where one too many beers was consumed and a few jokes here and there were made about the impending travel. Nevertheless we made it to the train station and sat down for awhile twiddling our thumbs waiting for the latest version of the Bombardier train system to rock up.

Early as per usual the team waits around for hours in the Virgin lounge for their flight, is it the free beers or just being able to utilise the facilities? Good question but whatever it may be they are certainly making the most of it as they chill with plates of food and free drinks being downed like a bunch of bin chickens around the kfc dumpster after closing time. The old man is once again grumbling about his flight being delayed continuing his run of luck with flights into the New Year. The team are keeping their distance as the vein in his neck starts to bulge and his cheeks flush red with anger. Red Hulk could be making an appearance in the Virgin Lounge if he’s not doused in beer soon.

Having calmed the boss down with more beer and the odd whiskey we’ve been given the task of getting notes down for the trip and working out who’s doing what blog over the 11 days. So that being said we looked at stops planned along the way and groaned when we noticed that Kingscliff/Terranora had been included on the list. From Airlie Beach to Yeppoon to Kingscliff well now that’s a drive but there are places in between that we could stop at and check out if the boss wasn’t being so tight with the petty cash. Once we’ve hit Kingy it’s on to the new Sydney for a quick catch up with the Hemsworth’s and every other Australian Hollywood A lister who now calls Byron Bay home.

Once Byron has been tamed we’ll move on to the home of the Honey Badger and hopefully avoid the Bachelor fan girls lurking along the beaches of Port Macquarie in the hope of seeing him in his natural environment. It’s a hop, skip and a jump to the next destination on the road trip as we throw caution to the wind and visit the set of Mad Max. The stunning sand dunes of Stockton Beach which we will be calling home for a few days as we fall down, slide down, slip down and run down the dunes. Heck depending on the weather we may even throw a line in off the beach and see what we can catch. Who knows, we might land a tuna or two, chances are more likely that we will land a shark and have to cut the line but you never know until you try.

The next destination has yet to be decided but there may be a stop in Sydney and if not it’ll be a nice old drive straight on through to Nowra where we’ll spend a few days exploring the shoal harbour region and south coast before dragging the team back to work and making them earn a living which they will all hate. There are plenty of things to see and do and hey you can actually swim in the ocean down there. They still have sharks but other than that you are good to go. As our names are called over the lounge PA system, our flight has finally landed is available to board. Naps seem to be the entertainment of choice as most of the team can be heard snoring their little heads off in the rows to the left and in front. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Landing in Townsville the first thoughts are it’s a massive city, turns out that everything you need to see is within a couple of kilometre radius along the waterfront. But swimming is a no, no! If the crocodiles don’t get you, the box jellyfish, sharks or stingrays will. What a great place to live by the water that you can’t really swim in! Northern Queensland is more deadly than a redback on the dunny seat. We’ve only been in the airport for 5 minutes and we’ve seen more cowboys jerseys than home match and 1300 Smile stadium could fit. The hit of musty hot, humid death hits you as you leave the frigid comfort of the airport to what is one of the worst designed airport pickups you will ever see. It’s like a formula one race course.

Piling into the 2004 Subaru Forester that will carry us the some 2000 plus kilometers on our journey we notice two immediate things. One Townsville has more RBTs setup on a Friday night than they have police and two the airport is somewhat in the middle of nowhere compared to where the main part of town is, it takes a good twenty plus minutes to make our way to our accommodation for the night. The building looks quite recent, well compared to most of the apartment blocks we’ve seen on the drive in that look like they were built when Captain Cook landed on our our shores and claimed Australia in the name of the British empire.

What looked nice on the outside turned out to be a mattress on the floor and the world’s dirtiest bathroom. The tub was so dirty even the mould was growing mould and the team decided they’d rather hold it all in than risk using the toilet for fear something might crawl up from the sewers and make its way into their nether regions only to grow and reproduce like t something from a Science fiction movie or horror film. In what turned out to be restless sleep where we were all woken rather early by a little old lady making tea and flicking the light switches on and off like it was a laser gun show out at the army barracks. Safe to say there were a few tired heads the next morning.

As we sign off on another blog, we will keep all our faithful followers updated on the adventure via a weekly blog and if you can’t wait that long head on over to our instagram or Facebook page which will be updated regularly with photos and location updates. Once again we bid you farewell for another week and the first blog of the new year! We’re starting it off with a bang and hitting you up with a travel diary of sorts to keep you on the hook well in to the year and hoping you’ll want more and more as we tackle the best topics for 2019 and beyond. As always if you have any suggestions, comments or questions please hit us up, we are happy to take requests and tackle any topic, big or small there is nothing that can’t be given a mind of its own. So Asta man yana amigos!

Smells Like Teen Spirit…

As the jolly fat man squeezes his way down your chimney, drinks the VB you kindly left him and smashes the plate of cookies like he’s high as a kite on some of Nimbin’s finest green. It starts to get you thinking. If Santa got pulled over, breathalysed and drug tested, christmas would be ruined. No matter how magical the man might be, there is how many people in the world these days expecting his fat arse to climb down their chimney in his Coca Cola sponsored red suit? Even if a quarter of those people left him out a beer he’d still blow well and truly over. Being forced to ask Dasher or Dancer to take the reins while he slept it off in the back. I know, I know you are all going why not Rudolph? Think about it! If Rudolph drives the sleigh how in the heck will they see what’s in front of them? The poor bastard is stuck lighting the way like a flying lighthouse.

So with Christmas done and New Years approaching this time of year is always confusing as most people have no idea what day it is or date and some even confused as to the time due to lack of sleep and changed sleeping patterns. All they know is there is still plenty of beer in the fridge, the cricket is on and mum’s salads are still in the fridge and if we are lucky enough, there is still some prawns for us to make a sanga. Across this wide brown land there is a haze hanging over towns and cities with people waking up hungover as all hell wishing they hadn’t got stuck into nan’s west coast coolers that she’s kept in the fridge for the past 3 years or dads bottle of port he got when he retired (the first time, not the last, by then they just waved him off and said see you in 6 months you crazy old coot).

It’s a new week and you know what that means! A new Mind of Its Own and another topic getting the royal treatment from the team. So this week yes we are still drunk and still full of christmas ham that will continue to be served for breakfast, lunch and dinner until the last little bit of it is gone. No part of the ham will be wasted apparently as the bone is thrown into a pot to make ham and pea soup or some kind of bone broth (It’s what happens when you live with new age hippies). With another 10kgs under our belts most of it beer and ham we thought it was about time we graced your screens once again and gave you all a little pre New Years dose of A Mind of its own as we head into what is another period of non-stop drinking and eating and talking crap to anyone who will listen around the BBQ.

This week we are taking a look at what’s happening around the grounds given most of you haven’t moved further than the several meters of all rooms in your house since knocking off work on christmas eve. You’ve no doubt starred in the mirror a few times and promised yourself to cut back on the drinking and actually do some exercise in the new year but until them it’ll be like the time at A Mind of Its Own who have all vowed to eat and drink as much as they can before having to go back to the real world in a few days time, which lets be honest no one is looking forward anywhere around Australia but as always those bills aren’t going to pay themselves and someone has to do it unfortunately.

We’ll start in our favourite city the home of the cashed up bogan, where you can see just about anything and not think it is strange well at least if you live there or frequent it often enough. The home of the plastic fantastics, the mandatory airbags, the duck lip delights and the full sleeve tattoo. Yes we are once again in the Gold Coast where the local council has made a massive cock-up over some scooters. Someone at council has got their knickers in a knot as Lime scooters move in to dominate the electric scooter market and not ask the council permission for something that is legal in Queensland anyways. Do we think someone is a little peeved that didn’t get a brown bag under a desk somewhere to smooth it over? Yeah probably or they are unhappy that it could mean fewer cars on the road? Who knows but not something that should have been on the front page of the Gold Coast Bulletin.

Continuing north we hit Brisvegas and what a city, the sweeping river and high rises adding to the panoramic views with the story bridge in the background and we’ve not only got more urine than usual in the man-made beach at Southbank but we’ve got a baby formula crisis with several Woolworth’s stores reporting that customers have finally worked out a way to rort the two tin limit by run paying running out of the store and coming back in to buy to more and rinse and repeat for several occasions. Whether or not they are then selling it on the black market to china, India or another country where access to decent baby formula is all but non-existent we’re starting to wonder why we didn’t think of this. A Mind of Its Own could have gone into the exporting business and made a motza on baby formula!!!

Heading across to Darwin the top of the news ladder there is yet another potential cyclone building north of the gulf of Carpentaria closely followed by twenty stories of croc attacks and fisherman having their catches stolen. Oh and a warning that police will be out in force this new years eve so those planning to visit Darwin’s only irish pub should behalf themselves or they could wind up on an episode of Territory Cops in 2019. Clearly there is not a lot happening in the top end. Their tourism marketing campaign has clearly upset the sensibilities of way too many people. What’s wrong with CUin the NT?

Following the coast we make our way to Australia’s most western city where the major news bulletins are all talking about old mate Bob Hawke’s poor health. We’ll he is getting on so it’s not a surprise but we do feel for you Bobby and are sending you our best wishes! Surprisingly it’s not a crocodile closing down the beaches of but yet another shark sighting at the iconic Scarborough beach closing all the beach along that stretch of coast. And in some news that we can all be proud of and finally take some interest in a twenty something Perthian discusses how having a craft beer overseas helped him make a career out of brewing beer.

Leaving the sunny scenes of Perth behind we hop on over to Adelaide, who are somewhat stuck in 1955 and it wouldn’t surprise anyone if the front page of the local paper was discussing how they’ve just got radio or CD’s or even better dial-up internet! Sadly as stuck in time as the city may seem top of their news announcements was the sad death of a Nepalese carer who was found by water police ending a 17 hour search for the man. We feel for the man’s family and pass on our deepest condolences. Leaving Adelaide on a more sombre note the barossa valley is primed for a spike in wine sales over the coming days as holiday makers stock up for new years.

Over to what some people will call the cultural hub of Australia the once touted site of what was to be Australia’s capital city losing out to the leafy suburbs of Canberra we are in Melbourne where Australia are once again putting on a poor display in the cricket, the crowd are stocking up on sandpaper at the local bunnings in the hopes that some tampering might improve performances out in the middle of the MCG. New Years seems to be a hot ticket in the press with Melbourne’s fireworks event said to be a world’s first as they spread out the launching barges in the Yarra over 7.5 Kilometres.

Crossing over the Bass Straight to the only state where your new-born child doesn’t have to identify with a sex. We’ve reach Tasmania our third last stop around the country to bring you the news headlines. With the thrill of the Sydney to Hobart now over, the only other thing Tasmania’s really have to talk about is their production of fine foods and craft spirits, which seems to be the top headlines over on the Hobart Mercury website and it would seem the Sydney to Hobart is not over with some pompous rich guy lodging a complaint over something because he didn’t win… Clearly not a lot happening down south unless you are into yachting and fine foods.

Into the nation’s capital we go where we are for once not looking for multi-million dollar statues shaped like penis’s of steel girders stuck in the ground to represent grass. In what is shaping up to be one of the bigger news stories to watch over the coming months it seems that our nation’s capitals residence more commonly referred to as Canberrans are divided. We’d like to say for the first time but when you live in a city run by government and frequented by politicians as they head up to the hill for another session of parliament it’s no surprise that Canberrans can’t decide whether they are for the use of personal drones or against them over the skies of Canberra. Clearly a slow news week in Canberra without the politicians making an arse of themselves.

We’ve reached the last stop on our good news tour of the country. We’ve sailed in through the heads to botany bay and have pulled up to circular quay in order to find out what’s happening in the city of Sydney. It’s all about the roads, they are melting and sweltering in Sydney heatwave with no end in sight past new years eve. The beaches are full to the brim as people from the western suburbs make their way to the coast for some much-needed cooling off and air conditioners are pumping away in the homes of those that can’t be bothered. A weather warning has gone out to the sick and elderly to ensure they find some cool shelter and kids shouldn’t be on the melting tar at any point in time without shoes. It’s put a stop to a lot of local street cricket matches as pimply little Kyle from next door complains of ball tampering as the Slazenger picks up tar and rock on it’s way down the pitch.

With another one down before the new year we hope you’ve all caught up on the important news from around the country and more importantly your city. We wish you all a safe and very happy new years and as always eat, drink and be merry and if you don’t want to be merry just be yourself. Sadly this will be our last post this year as we are taking a few days out to ourselves, which are much need! That said enough for the year and see you in 2019 were we’ll come back bigger and badder than ever. Ok Peace out!

With Friends like you, Who needs Friends…

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, there’s toys in every store if you head to the toy section all year round not just at christmas and if we go to the butcher we can guaranteed unless you are going to play with your Christmas Ham they aren’t going to have toys so the song is doing a little false advertising but that’s ok. Like Easter though as soon as one major event is over it’s time to roll out the next. In this case most shopping centres have been rolling out their christmas decorations since October. Christmas tunes are blasting our years as of November and come the start of December there is no escaping the fact that Christmas is well and truly upon us, followed very closely by new years and then before you know it Australia (Invasion) Day. After Australia/invasion Day you can finally relax and enjoy some down time until easter but you will start to see easter eggs as of the 27th of January.

We’ve lit the candles on another cake and started the macarena in order to celebrate in style. The padlock has come off the drinks fridge and someone has said it’s time to party like it’s nineteen ninety nine. Does that mean we should all hide and worry about the Y2K bug or channel our inner Prince throw on our best purple velvet suit and rock out? Who knows but for the team here it’s GO time and time to celebrate all the good things that came with the year. Time to let the hair down and time to throw the rule book out the window along with all our cares in the world. So tip your head back, throw back a drink or two and settle in with us to celebrate. By the way the title has nothing to do with the Blog as per usual and we are still waiting for someone to tell us what they all have in common…

So with the year creeping rapidly towards a close and A Mind of Its Own reaching yet another major milestone with this post. We thought why not look back on the best of the blog through 2018. With the half century now posted on the scoreboard we are waving our bat and saluting the crowd unlike the Australian cricket team who are still suffering from the ball tampering incident earlier in the year and are coping it from the Indian’s currently tourning. As we salute the stadium and our fans (that’s you guys) from being such good sports and being so patient with us throughout the year. We thank you for providing us with some great feedback, your continued support and your viewership on a weekly basis. Without you guys this blog wouldn’t work and we certainly wouldn’t have managed to write about some of the more stranger topics that we have covered over the year like Trump’s Space Force which we are still super excited about if it ever grows legs. It’ll be the best thing he’s done since the apprentice.

We also wouldn’t have entered contests like shit blog weekly and dunny readers anonymous or the Australian Blog awards. Saving that last one for our 2019 debut into the blogosphere. Truth be told we’ve loved every minute and every edition on of A Mind of Its Own in 2019. We’ve grown the family and added two office dogs who do very little to contribute other than tearing up the cease and desist letters we fail to receive on a weekly basis as our mail clerks seem to spend more time chewing them, than reading them. In some ways we are lucky that we are a totally digital platform otherwise I can guarantee a lot of these blogs wouldn’t have made it to print with those to furballs.

In what was a big year we managed to make a mockery of the Commonwealth Games, attack the plastic fantastics on the Gold Coast on more than one occasion, Harass Trump on several occasions, find the infamous owl statue in Canberra that looks more like a penis, no we are not joking about that just google owl+penis statue+Canberra and laugh continually at the bosses run of misfortune when it came to travelling for the job that keeps the doors open to this fine establishment. The writing was superfluous, we handed over the reigns on more than one occasion and even let the office pooches have there say or two. We put ourselves at the edge of our comfort zones and pushed our bodies to the limit to give you what we call life in a nutshell. There were diets and fads, gym sessions and drinking, fashion and travel. There wasn’t a topic too big or too small that couldn’t take on A Mind of Its Own…

From bumper stickers to ball tampering we covered it all and gave it that special twist that you’ve come to love and respect from the team. There have been heartfelt moments, tears, more than a few tantrums and on the odd occasion a little blood in our endeavour to bring a voice to the topics our fans want covered. A lot pain goes into finding things that people don’t want to talk about. We are raw, open and honest with our thoughts, feelings and often criticism as we poke fun and holes in things throughout each blog. Inspiration has been found through various different mediums whether it be an event, a situation or a person, something has inspired us to write the 49 blogs that have come before this one and the however many that will certainly follow. The team are not done yet unravelling the mysteries of the world around us. With a new year there will certainly be a whole heap of new topics coping our no holds bar approach.

So what did we cover over the year? We started out with Music and discussing everyone’s theme songs before moving onto Arsegate The Commonwealth Games greatest shame, the bunnings sandpaper bonanza, a look at Australia’s most favourite and endeared bird that should replace the emu on the coat of arms. We touched on questionable tattoos, athletes decisions, man’s need to fuck things up. There wasn’t a topic that didn’t make it to the drawing board in the office before some bright spark in legal told us it was a big no, no to write about that or unethical, in fact the works politically correct were used on more than one occasion forcing us to stop, look and listen like we were crossing a mental road. We continue to advocate that it is ok to talk about mental health issues particularly if you are a man and we even reviewed a video game or two.

We’ve renewed our free subscription to Google in order to search for any information we don’t have on hardfile or can’t get off the streets or our trusty informants who continually drop knowledge bombs like red spots specials at your local supermarket. We are also entering into the PodCast arena with a sweet little doozy that will be called ‘Blankety, Blank, Blank powered by A Mind of Its Own’ Your favourite blog gets a real voice unfortunately both James Earl Jones and Morgan Freeman were way too expensive and also unavailable so you’ll be stuck with the not so dulcet tones of the boss as he nasals his way through a different topic each week with hopefully some special guests and hosts otherwise it may not be a long living podcast that you will all grow tired of fairly quickly.

From year to year we’ve set goals, this year was all about discovering our style and setting up a fan base. In the new year we’ll set some big goals and like Buddy Franklin wheel around to our left and let fly from fifty through the middle. Why will we achieve our goals? That’s simple because of the people that read this blog week in week out. It’s you guys that make this blog, it’s you guys that we’ll continue to write for and continue to work hard at bringing you the topics that really matter both home and abroad. So with our 50th blog we thank each and everyone of you for taking the time to read our weekly post. Our fans are our biggest source of inspiration.

Without further adieu happy 50th blog post to us, at the beginning of the year had someone asked us if we’d write almost a post a week we probably would have said NO, but it’s become a religious thing for us by which we feel extremely bad if we haven’t posted for the week. We have some amazing fans who continually leave us comments on the website or for those that know the writers and personally comment to them about one of the posts or a specific line. Again we thank all of the fans from the casual readers to the die hard never miss a post fans.

To the next milestone we are thinking we’ll do it in quarters but who knows we might just let you all know once we’ve cracked the ton and can wave the bat around for the second time proudly knowing we’ve achieved another major milestone. But like they say you have to celebrate the wins no matter how big so we’ll celebrate when we can. In the office we’ve cracked open a nice bottle of scotch shared a dram or two and stumbled out to celebrate with friends and family. Or in some cases on our own or with the office hounds.

Until next week and another new post we bid you farewell and hope you’ve cracked a can or two in our honor. If you don’t read next week blogs we wish you a Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate or don’t celebrate this time of year. It’s a time for family and friends. And as a side note we don’t condone drinking, we do condone celebrating, enjoying yourselves, having fun and by all means being safe! As long as it’s in moderation! Adios Amigos!

When the Night Falls Quiet…

With the Christmas season in full swing we decided to head out to the coal mine and dig up some presents for all you naughty boys and girls! Welcome to the silly season! The time of the year where you let your hair down, enjoy a drink or two and from time to time make an absolute arse of yourself at the company Christmas party only to regret your actions the next day as your hangover kicks in, your re-flux system goes into overdrive and you start your full day of hugging the porcelain throne feeling sorry for yourself as you rid yourself of the previous evenings poison.

The seasoned veterans here at A Mind of Its Own have taken it upon themselves to put together a public service announcement outlining what not to do over the silly season no matter how good an idea it seems at the time. Call it our civic duty to our adoring fans or call it a much-needed look at the realities of christmas parties around the world. Whatever you do this silly season follow this advice and do not do what the clowns in these examples have previously done. It did not end well for any of the sampling of people we have used as examples.

Office Christmas parties, a time of year where you can celebrate and blow off some much-needed steam with your colleagues after what is often a hectic run up to the Christmas period. That does not excuse any of the following behaviour and nine times out of ten will land you in hot water with human resources or worse case in front of the boss receiving your marching orders effective immediately without that much need reference and let’s be honest christmas and the new year is not the time you want to be looking for a new job. Last thing you want to be doing is explaining to your wife, partner, housemates and or parents how and why you got fired. Merry Christmas to you here’s a Centrelink form happy dole bludging.

First things first, there is acceptable behavior, questionable behaviour and then there is the just don’t do at Christmas Parties. Whether the party be for your work or with family or friends. If you have to ask yourself if its ok then like the Christians ask themselves ‘What would Jesus Do?(WWJD)’ ask yourself ‘What would sober me do? (WWSMD)’. We’ve all seen the effect Alcohol can have on people. When we finally get to see some of our colleagues on the sauce whilst it might be absolutely hilarious at the time watching them make a fool of themselves just remember that could be you or once upon a time was you till you wised up and worked out work not to shit where you eat.

So this festive season take our advice and the advice of those that have gone before us. Please don’t do any of the following no matter how good it seems at the time! Remember WWSMD!

1.Drunkzilla…FREE Drinks! You beauty! Now before you go off blazing into the sun and making sure you get your fill of freebies remember to pace yourself. Generally the Christmas party goes for a couple of hours and then if you are cool enough you head out to a nightspot with those still up for a party. With a long night ahead it is important to ensure you are there at the end of it with your mates. Don’t be the bar fly that downs drink after drink in an effort to recoup all those hours of overtime you never got paid for or the salary increase you are well and truly overdue. Only to be stumbling into a taxi two hours after the party began. Enter Dave, Dave is a hard-working enthusiastic guy who does a lot of things for people around the office whether he has time or not without pushing back. When he can Dave likes to let his hair down and throw back a schooner or two with his colleagues. Come Christmas time Dave is often feeling a little unappreciated and disgruntled. Reluctantly he attends the Christmas party lured by the free beer on offer. Within the first hour Dave has had downed six beers and is well on his way to drunk-town population Dave. By the end of the Christmas party Dave has no idea who he is, where he is or what he is doing, his legs don’t work and drinks keep finding the floor… Don’t be a Dave!

2. The Hula Hypothesis… So some genius in marketing or HR decides you should have a themed Christmas party, because nothing says merry Christmas like watching your colleagues get dressed up in some theme that makes them feel good for a day. You’re thinking to yourself great a Christmas party with people I barely tolerate in some god awful theme! Can I just poke myself in the eyes now? Some of the classic themes are the ugly sweater as long as it doesn’t have reindeer mating its appropriate, Mexican as long as you don’t go full Mexican it’s appropriate, Australian and the often popular Hawaiian theme. Ladies and Gentleman when we say be theme appropriate ask yourself if your outfit is something you really want you colleagues to remember you in for years to come and would you wear it if you weren’t at work?. Enter Trent.. Trent is well-respected around the office but is known for having an opinion, voicing said opinion and pushing the boundaries where and when he can. Trent’s company like many others decided to have a Hawaiian themed Christmas party. Trent being Trent decided that if the women could get away with Grass skirts, leggings, boob toobs/crop tops and coconut bras then Trent could get away with a grass skirt and a G-String. Ok it’s sticking with the theme, points there for Trent, however, while Trent thinks he has a good body and in the eyes of some people he might. The issue here is that Trent was not really wearing any clothes and it wasn’t appropriate for the office christmas party. There were a few complaints to HR… Don’t be a Trent!

3. Bruce Banner and Gamma Rays… It is a well known fact that alcohol which is a drug by the way people, lowers a person’s inhibitions. Often we will see a side of someone we’ve never seen before. Once they’ve had a couple of the amber ales or brown burners. As a depressant it can make people a little more sensitive than usual and in some cases that sensitivity can lead to the Hulk making an appearance where he does not belong. No one likes an Angry drunk. Hulk or She Hulk drunk should stay at home or around friends who know how to handle him or her. Whatever you do stay away from the Rum! Nothing good ever came from it unless you were conceived after a big night on the Rumbos down the local tavern, but you might want to tell your folks they are being a little too open with you if you know that. Enter Bruce… Bruce is usually the happy-go-lucky guy around the office. After a few drinks though Bruce can become quite sensitive and take things to heart, he’s also not a fan of condescending people around the office who think they are better than everyone. At the Christmas party Bruce didn’t take to kindly to the way the CTO was speaking to him and those around him. Within seconds Bruce transformed into the Hulk and rather than using his fists to rearrange the CTO’s face Bruce threw water in his face which caused the CTO to fire up and almost lead to a fight. Bruce is now banned from attending the Christmas party this year. Don’t be a Bruce…

3. The Closet Creep… We’ve all seen it when we’ve been out at a pub or club, there is always that one sleazy predator that’s sniffing around the ladies looking seedy as all hell. When that guy comes to the christmas party however and starts hitting on Marcia from Accounting who’s just gone through a divorce or Sarah from Marketing who’s had a recent string of bad luck with the men. That’s when he should be asking WWSMD? Enter Matt from IT, normally a shy, introverted character who barely says boo to anyone in the office except for “Have you check to see if it’s plugged in and turn it on and off, Did that work?”. Midway through the first of many lip looseners Matt spots Wendy from the corner of his eye. He’s had his eye on Wendy for some time now but hasn’t had the guts to ask her out on a date. Always the nice guy, Matt would normally just say hello and scurry off back to his desk before she could get out a response. But not tonight! With some Dutch courage now coursing through his veins, he’s feeling invincible and like he can talk to anyone. He’s come out of his Shy closet and morphed into that touchy feely creeper that women look at shake their heads in disgust. After Wendy rebukes his advances he moves on to Claudette in Sales and so on the circle goes until Matt gets too drunk to stay out and is put in a cab and sent home. Come Monday morning he’s in HRs office feeling more than a little ashamed and looking down the barrel of the Sexual Harassment policy for inappropriately touching someones bum. Don’t be a Matt…

4. Opinionation Station…While you might have been waiting all year to get a chance to talk to the CEO, the christmas party is not the place to discuss those little tidbits with the head of the company no matter how many drinks they’ve had and how much courage you have to finally voice your opinion. Enter Sarah… Sarah is an up and comer with the company, she’s a head down, bum up make it happen kind of girl, her boss loves her and she inline for a promotion. She’s found the champagne and as the bubbles go to her head she spies the CEO milling with the rest of the executive leadership team. I a wolf separating a week calf from the herd she’s sliced her way in between all the bigwigs. Normally not one to voice her opinion unless it’s behind closed doors with trusted colleagues Sarah has decided now is her time to speak. Launching into a diatribe about her vision for where the company should be going and urging the CEO to grow a pair and take a risk every now and then. Rather than worrying about his own bonus as he does every year. People try to pull her away but she is not done yet spewing the truth from her mouth like diarrhea. Everything that anyone has wasn’t to say to the CEO has found a voice. Literally every bad thing someone has said is voiced in the form of Sarah, she’s tanking her career in what she feels is only benefiting her advancement. She’s talking to the head honcho and telling them what they need to hear. No Sarah the reason things are said behind closed doors are because the CEO doesn’t want to hear them and if they do the person voicing them tends not to be around for long after doing so. Don’t be a Sarah…

The team had literally a handful if not more examples of that person not to be at your Christmas party this year! After much deliberation and chuckling around what should and shouldn’t go in this weeks post we chose the above five examples of people who not to be this year. What we can say is have fun but as always ask yourself WWSMD in this situation. If sober you is just as much of pest as drunk you than as the saying goes… You do, you! Just remember when the night falls quiet there is going to be a lot of noise the next day around your behaviour. Keeping in mind, with every action there is a reaction. From the team at A Mind of Its Own, have fun and most of all be safe this silly season. Always have a plan B or designated driver. Until next time keep it real…

Motorcycle Driveby…

Are there such things as curses? Can they relate to just one area of your life? How do you get rid of them? We are about to take you on a deep dive into the world of curses and how to rid yourself of the voodoo that plagues your life. With A Mind of Its Own the head honcho is once again travelling with the job that keeps the lights on here where, we were left to laugh at his unfortunate string of bad luck when it comes to flying across this sun kissed land. In the space of the last month he has been travelling 3 out of 4 weeks and each of those weeks has met with its own challenges when it comes to the wonderful world of corporate travel. Whilst some of this stories have entertained you in previous post it did make us ask the question of when it comes to travel is the man cursed?

What even is curse and how would one become cursed? Does it start with someone placing it on you in some weird lights off, candles on with a hood over your head while chanting something indecipherable into a mirror or does it start from you doing something bad and you just become cursed as a punishment for your misdeed? Or is it something that’s passed down from generation to generation until it’s broken by completing some heroic quest in which you have to go through heralding trials testing your every fibre of your being? Whatever the answer is we’ve decided that there are those that are just naturally lucky and those who are somewhat unlucky bordering on cursed or just downright cursed altogether.

Back in the day, way before Charlie was in the trees and this would have been chiselled out on a stone tablet or written in squid ink on parchment people were cursed by the local witch doctor, sorcerer or dark magic/black magic mage. In times of battle they would often curse whole armies who would perish in strange weird events that were unexplainable yet now could be put down to biological warfare. But how do you explain events that continue to happen to people that everyone would put down to bad luck? Is it the universe trying to tell you something or is just bad luck and should be taken as things happen. Is it a test of one’s patience? There are a lot of questions that as we attempt to answer them just continue to raise more and more questions.

Like a gambler at a blackjack table blaming his turn in luck on the changing of dealers or an athlete wearing the same piece of clothing or a soldier carrying a talisman to ward off evil spirits we donned our protective wear and headed to the streets to ask your day to day average joe there thoughts on curses and how to get and how to get rid of them. Safe to say there was some strange yet entertaining answers that allowed us to build and develop out a hypothesis all of our own while allowing the wonderful people of the Nation’s capital and then the plastic fantastics on the Gold Coast.

Much to the amusement of the team we collated responses and began our scientific approach to answering the questions raised earlier. In order to do this we smashed a few mirrors, walked under ladders, opened umbrellas inside and there was a thing with a black cat (No animals were harmed in the making of this blog!) anything that was supposedly going to bring us the curse of bad luck for all eternity we tried. So if all of a sudden half the team disappear can someone in the writing community please continue the blog in our honor?

As the days ticked by we documented anything out of the ordinary that happened that may have seemed like bad luck this included giving away our pay to the a long lost uncle we’d never heard of and the Nigerian prince that contacted us via email needing help desperately to flee persecution. After a long week of trying to nail down whether anyone in the team had managed to be obtain, catch and or get a curse through any means possible it was decided that while this was all become increasingly time wasting activity that if we had picked up a curse it may not manifest itself in the ways we were thinking.

Changing tacks we thought we could ask someone if we were cursed. Siri said she had no idea what we were talking about, Google gave us a list of psychics in our area and Alexa just wanted to recommend we upgrade our kindle and home entertainment systems. With Google throwing out the best online we decided that maybe we should ask one of Australia’s many, many psychics who were more than happy to take our money and stare into their crystal ball only to give us vague answers to our questions. We’d almost get the same response from a magic 8 ball brought from the local toy shop.

Another dead end, another rabbit hole, so we tried tarot cards. Apparently the dogs are having Puppies and there is going to be some big changes in the future. The first one is highly unlikely without balls unless the vet did a bad job on both the boys and one of them is secretly a little girl puppy. The second one we could of told you without having to shuffle a deck of oversized picture cards. With a decision made it was off to the local witch doctor as one final roll of the dice to find out if we were truly cursed and if we were how we could rid ourselves.

Piling into the Tarago family van and cruising down the M1 towards Australia’s A listers holiday spot of choice we turned off way before Byron Bay inland towards Australia’s home of the best brownies and cookies, no not those brownies or cookies we made our way towards Mullumbimby where Rita a retired veterinarian from the Ukraine resides. Rita who asked not to be identified by her real name for personal reasons she later shared after a few too many vodkas. A master of the dark arts she took a sample of our saliva, some hair and a drop of blood before going into a dark back room and clanging around for a very long time before returning with a tree root and telling us to naw on it and demanding payment for wasting her time.

As it turns out we aren’t cursed and the boss certainly does have bad luck that can be attributed to one thing and one thing only. Climate change ok there are two things resource management and management of personal at Australia’s airlines. So two things, climate change and Trump will tell you it doesn’t exist and Airlines. They are the sole reasons he’s had a bad run of late. Dust storms, storms, high winds and the use of technology have all had a part to play in ensuring he is delayed, stuck or being put on other modes of of transportation like John Candy in Planes, trains and automobiles.

Ok so we didn’t dive as deep as some people may have liked but if we did that you’d be bored after the first paragraph and wanting to go and read another blog about travel, fashion, fitness or parenting and we just can’t have that! We need our loyal fans and supporters to continue reading what is no doubt twisted take on topics your typical teenager wouldn’t touch with a 10 foot pole unless it has something marketable in it they can spruik to their adoring fans. None of that here we don’t have any sponsors to bore you with.

People are either lucky or unlucky and people around the world have superstitions whether they are curses or something else often there are things that just need to go into the unexplained basket and left there till someone finally solves the problem takes out the laundry and puts it on spin cycle before regurgitating to the public in a model they are comfortable with. So from the team we wish you all a happy week and an even better weekend. Until next time chase those rainbows you might find your pot of gold at the end or at least a cranky little Irishman…

Bottom of the Ocean…

What starts with W, Win, walk, wife, wall, wish there are literally thousands of words that start with W in the English language. Wanker yep that’s one of them but not the word we were searching for and yes there are a lot of them in the world. We are sure you’ve called people one before but no the W we are searching for is the W Hotel. That’s right ladies and gentleman this weeks A Mind of Its is Own is coming to you live well not so live as you are reading this but at least we can say it was written from the 28th floor of the W Hotel in Brisbane. What a place! The team minus the paw patrol who have brought you so many good reads decided that it was time to live the high life.

Ok it was the bosses wedding anniversary and he decided to stop being a tight arse and pull his wallet out to treat the wife and the rest of the schmucks in the office as long as they wrote something on tour. So we sit here tapping out a piece sipping on beer he made us buy from the bottle shop instead of paying for drinks from the minibar. So he may have pulled his wallet out but he didn’t pull it out all the way and sort out the juice that lubricates the amazing minds that bring you a piece writing that is often boarding on Pulitzer Prize winning or at least a Nobel laureate. Well at least in the minds of the people who write them for you, our loyal, amazing fans.

What this week you’re wondering to yourself? Well have we got a piece for you! Sitting with our founder, editor and chief writer and big cheese we started brainstorming ideas for A Mind of Its Own and where it could go next. Podcasts have been on the books for a while now with the team and as we head into the festive season we’ve decided it’s about time we put last years Christmas presents to use and got to work on the first installment of a podcast that will no doubt have you rolling around the floor laughing as we tackle some of the hardest topics around the world.

Forget the experts because well let’s be frank no one listens to them anymore anyways so we decided to get the average joe off the street to give us the real deal. There are a million bloggers out there who have no certifications, degree and or knowledge and yet we listen to them on Facebook, instagram, twitter, MySpace. Ok maybe not MySpace but all the other current social media platforms that men and women give us advice, guidance and their views for free without having to go to university.We thought why not jump on the bandwagon and utilise these self-proclaimed experts on our latest platform for you the people.

Our only problem now is what topic do we start with, well for that went to leading topic expert for online talks. That’s it folks we sought some advice from the one, the only Ted. Famous for his talks we must admit when we first heard about them we were hoping it was the lovable bear character created by Seth MacFarlane. The same man responsible for American Dad and Family Guy the animated tv series that like South Park pushes the boundaries. You can immediately see our disappointment when the team found out that Ted Talks were about important topics, that intellectuals actually want to hear about.

It wasn’t long before our disappointment faded and the entrepreneurial side got the better of us as the ideals began to form. Yep like the Chinese we saw an opportunity to rip off someone who had made something from nothing and earn ourselves some street cred with those pesky students who only listen to professors or skinny bikini models drinking green juice on instagram. Then there’s the YouTube crowd who also need taming before they run wild with there crazy ideas on the internet, spreading them across the world.The team decided it was our social responsibility to ensure that you get the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Come January 1 be prepared to have your ears assaulted. In a good way, it’ll be nothing like listening to death metal in a padded cell before being waterboarded. Safe to say there will be no torture techniques thanks to our friends in the CIA who we hope never read any of our posts as we’ve shared a lot of classified information over the year. Area 51 is real, the Illuminati run the world, the Rockafeller’s blocked a lot of renewable energy, there already is a cure for cancer sitting on a shelf somewhere at one of the major pharmaceutical companies. By no means are we conspiracy theorists but there is certainly a lot of shade being thrown by some of these organisations.

With literally thousands of topics to cover including 3D printing, how many 3D printing experts are there in the world? Apparently enough that nine different experts have made ted talks on it and its applications in the ever-changing world we live in. Other topics ranged from Technology including science fiction applications in the real world through to war and the application of the Higgs boson theory in battlefield planning. The last one wasn’t a real topic however we’ve just submitted it to Ted to see if he’ll bite at the idea. We could certainly see someone like Patrick Stewart or Neil deGrasse Tyson talking their way through the applications of theoretical physics on the battlefield.

Grab a voice like Morgan Freeman, so god like and soothing and it would be the most peaceful talk about potential killing application you have ever heard. Come to mention it James Earl Jones would be another great voice to listen to voice any Ted talk topic. Instead of those great voices our listeners will get Trent from Punchbowl or Mick the Kiwi from the Goldie who’s been in Australia for over 10 years and still sounds like he’s only just hopped the ditch and landed at Coolangatta for a new life amongst the plastic people or the southern Queensland.

No matter what the topic you can be assured of one thing when you listen to our yet to be titled talks powered by A Mind of its Own… What you ask? What will you be assured of? That you are getting the topics that matter most to you our readers and soon to be listeners. Like our blogs if you ask we will deliver and we’ll make sure that it’s fun and enjoyable whilst being always informative. You might laugh, you might cry, you might even switch it off and ask yourself why? But it will be the continued quality that you have come to expect from the team. We’ll still hit you up with a written piece every week but you can expect your ears to be bashed every second week by a plethora of different topics.

Until then continue to enjoy our writing and as always if there is something you want the team to tackle hit us up in the comments section and we’ll give you a shout out as we write our take on your topic. Until next time, be nice to your parents and opinions are like arseholes… Everyone has one… Unless you are one of thousands of people born each year without one.

Beauty in the Bricks…

As the heavens open up and bathe the earth once again we thought it was about time we hit you with a dose of the best distraction pill available on the market. That’s right the doctor has spoken and prescribed you with a dose of A Mind of its Own to aile your woes. It’s been a couple of weeks since we last graced your screens with our rather unique brand of blogging, straight from some of the strangest minds in all of Australasia. Our off kilter approach to the worlds issues has the health authorities wondering whether they should have us all thrown in the loony bin.

For the first time in a while the team here stopped and took a look at the world around them. The ins and outs of what was happening in the world and the human beings ability to continue to adapt and overcome. There are plenty of unanswered questions about the world, particularly those about our purpose and how we came to be at the top of the evolutionary food chain. But all those can wait for another time and another place. If you wanted to read about that you’d have logged on to National Geographic or the Discovery channel website.

What do the people want to actually read about? You know it’s funny as human beings one would think we wanted to hear about nice things happening in the world but as the marketers say there are only two things that sell news papers. Sex and things that no one wants to hear about like murder, robbery and anything of the ill elk. Well sex isn’t really our forte and we promise you’ll never get a 50 shades of grey from us.The things no one wants to hear about, well they are rather depressing. Hence why the team here tend to have no idea what’s happening in the world. The news is never on and the papers are rarely bought and if they are it’s only to help start the fire at the manor.

So what does this weeks blog have install for the faithful A Mind of its Own followers, good damn question. With so much happening around the world and so much happening around us there should be a million and one things for the talented team here to write about but it seems like a case of writer’s block has infected the whole team. Without a dose of antiblocktics lying around we’ve had to tough it out and pull together something that will hopefully make sense and allow you to enjoy yet again another blog from our stellar team.

We’ve had some great feedback over the past couple of months from our followers ranging from great content to it’s an enjoyable read while i’m on the toilet. The last one was a little strange and disturbing but at least we now know that we are making toilet breaks around the world a little easier on the minds of those reading along while they void their bowels of their last meals waste. Sounds pretty shit it if you ask us, pun intended! So besides being a toilet break filler for those that need one, we tend to try and be educational, funny and a little on the crazy side when we can.

Speaking of the crazy side, the team has been playing a lot of Red Dead Redemption 2 as of late on the Xbox. An escape from reality as some of the wives continue to point out but never the less a distraction from the troubles in the world around us. The Rockstar games western themed second installment of the Red Dead series got us thinking about when times were a lot simpler. Simpler, yet harder in some aspects. Riding around America in the early 1800’s on a trusty steed with a pistol strapped to your thigh, the wind running past your face as you gallop through plains and meadows chasing your next dollar by robbing a stagecoach or train that’s if you wish to be an outlaw. You could be part of a posse chasing down those outlaws and bringing them to justice. Each to their own we say.

Oh how the world has changed since the days of the wild west, no longer is it socially acceptable to-day drink, well it is as long as you are at a function and it’s in a licensed venue or in the comfort of your own home. Office settings are not an acceptable place to drink or start a brawl when someone offends you and you need to defend your honor. You can no longer sit in the main straight swigging from a whiskey bottle, saying howdy and tipping your hat to every man, woman and child that walks past unless it’s concealed in a brown paper bag even then it tends draws a lot of attention.

A lot has changed since the days of outlaw gangs and cowboys. People no longer ride horses in gangs and have swapped the graceful beasts for the metal version on two wheels. They still tend to draw the outlaw tag and often are stereotyped into being part of a gang whether they ride for recreation or they truly are outlaws who run drugs, guns, prostitution and rob people or places in order to make a living. When we referenced that it was an easier time we were referring to the fact that towns or cities were small and miles in between, you could disappear for weeks on end and live off the land if you had to. Taxes were something you generally avoided and wearing chaps as a male was acceptable in all places aside from a strip club.

There were many other things the team came across that we noticed were different from back then till now. Hygiene wasn’t really high on the priority list with bathing happening every so often in some cases they took better care of their trusty mounts then they did themselves. You could camp where and when you pleased without the need of a permit and payment for use of the ground. Hunting just happened and tended to be your source of food while living off the land and there was no such thing as a balanced meal.

In fact everything that is now considered bad for you was considered to be good for from smoking through to sucking out the poison from someones snake bite and drinking heavily while operating firearms from a horse. Ok so maybe we’ve painted a picture that all cowboys were drunks that’s not the case but they did tend to drink quite heavily. Saloon brawls were a common occurrence and duels were an actual thing. Yeah fastest draw wins literally, their life and their honor back. Pace it out ten steps and fastest to draw their weapon and fire, it was as simple as that and it was done for money and for pride on a regular occurence with most of the town watching on..

We don’t think you could challenge the new graduate who mouths off around the water cooler to a duel, gun him down and walk away a hero these days. Firstly murder is not ok, secondly the workplace is not the place for firearms unless you work at a gun shop and thirdly today we are told to use our words. One thing that has changed overtime is chivalry, it is no longer deemed chivalrous to pay for everything and be a gentleman. People are just as likely to go on dates these days and the lady pays. Call us old-fashioned but some traditions shouldn’t change and good manners cost you nothing.

A lot of things may have changed for the better however there are a few things that make us turn around these days and think toughen the beep up. Where as in the old days you would be pushed in the mud and taught that it was not ok to not be tough. Hence the place we are in today where it is not ok for men to show weakness, compassion and anything that would not be deemed manly, it definitely was not ok to talk about your feelings as a man in the wild west. You would be labelled a yellow belly or a coward. But at least kids weren’t soft and got trophies for participating even if they finish last. As Ricky Bobby said “If you ain’t first, you’re last”.

So what have learnt from playing a game that is a lot like a my little pony simulator for men, teaching you to tend and care for your mighty steed? Other than being drunk in the 1800’s was a mandatory requirement each day. Being an outlaw was somewhat cool despite having to hurt and often murder people just so you could earn a living. After all you were your own boss, grifting from town to town, gang to gang. Stealing was a common occurrence and if you were good at it you tended to have your own gang. The law often appointed themselves and were just as corrupt as they still are today. The tobacco industry was in its infancy of becoming a world power, the church was its usual god fearing, preaching self and railway tycoons were the one true power throughout the land.

Much like today if you had money you had power, if you had power it often went to your head and you only wanted more of both. Whilst being a cowboy looks somewhat cool it would have been a hard life both mentally and physically. For now we are just happy that we were born in this century and have the luxuries that allow us to live quite comfortable lives. Oh and the fact that when we run out of ideas as to what to write about we can turn to an alternative source of inspiration. Virtual reality or augmented reality, well in this case video games that got us thinking about how life has changed and how we have a little more respect for ourselves and each other. We said a little…

One slow and we say slow because it’s still dragging its heels through the mud like a lame mare, change that has definitely changed is the way women were treated. We aren’t saying its in a good place now but it is certainly a lot better than back then. Like a caveman belting a prospective wife over the head with his club and dragging a woman into his cave. The wild west was not short of its share of violence against women. So the team are glad that has changed and there are no more damsels in distress requiring a cowboy to come along and defend their honor. These days there are a lot of women who would kick your arse at the mere suggestion. You go girls! As some of the younger generation are pointing out they can do anything including the things you thought only men can.

From the often confused and wonderful minds here it’s time for us to say farewell for another week, tip our hats, spit out our tobacco, slap our horses on the rump and ride blissfully into the sunset. We hope besides learning that day drinking was a thing and cowboys now ride motorcycles the message from this weeks post is that violence of any sort if not ok, especially against women. Until next week partners we hope you enjoyed another foray into A Mind of Its Own. Stay tuned for a double dose this week as we come at you with another post about god knows what but it is sure to keep you distracted somehow.

West Coast Smoker…

We’ve all read an article about travel or a blog or two from an inspiring young writer about their trip to some exotic island where they sipped mai tais and lounged in the sun on a picturesque beach where blue waters lap at the shore. All the while wearing a tiny bikini or budgie smugglers and ruining the view that’s popped into our head. Well if you haven’t, we’ve just painted a beautiful beach scene in your mind. You are most welcome!.

At a Mind of It’s Own we prefer to do the opposite, we prefer to tell you about all the not so nice places to travel, or the nightmarish trips that white-collar workers are forced to take in aid of their company making another couple of bucks so the high-flying CEO can receive there million dollar bonuses all off the back of the little guys hard work. Yes workplace equality is alive and well across Australia, employees are more engaged and opportunities for career progression are running rampant like a dog on heat humping everything in sight. No that is not true equality still has a long way to go on the shores of this stolen land.

So this journey starts with a hundred-dollar juicer and ends with a rather long day to get into the nation’s capital. Do we start with the juicer or head straight into what will go down as the best corporate travel blunder to hit Australia since the politicians started getting caught taking personal trips on the taxpayers dollar. If you are a long time fan or reader of our blog you may have come across a couple of earlier blogs about work related travel. We get to go to all the most exciting places and meet some of the most interestingly mind numbing people you will ever meet.

In the past we’ve discussed the weird shaped owl statue that looks more like Penis in Canberra than an actual Owl. We’ve recounted stories about flights but what we haven’t actually done is given you a real life version of the John Candy classic Trains, Planes and automobiles. We apologise in advance to the train aficionados as this blog contains no train related material including stories about trains, actual train rides or the benefits of getting a train. There’s not even a guy wearing a train drivers cap directing people around like he owns the place.

However like the movie there were several modes of transport utilised to ensure that we reached our final destination. We would say we arrived at a suitable hour but as this blog started being written in transit and the clock ticked over to a new day before we’d reached where we needed to be. Unlike the movie there was no fat guy spouting comedic one liners to ensure it was a pleasurably funny journey from the outset due to travel issues. There was still some very good comedy errors that will keep out readers in stitches.

When one travels for work often they become quite accustomed to flying and the ins and outs of their journey. If you do it often enough it becomes routine and somewhat mundane. You know where the emergency exits are located and could probably put on your life jacket blindfolded with one hand while the other ensures your oxygen mask is on before helping others. Your seat belt is fastened low and tight and your tray table is away with your seat in the upright position for takeoff. The point Is you begin to become used to the little things like delayed flights and rude passengers on your flight but we’ll get to that later. It all becomes water off a duck’s back and part of the routine.

Still asking yourself why the juicer is significant in this retelling of actual events? Well it’s not but it did set off a chain reaction of events that lead to this blog being written. We started the afternoon getting a juicer no big deal everyone loves juice right and should have one in their home? Ok maybe not but that’s not the point. The point is that getting the juicer on the way to the airport made sense, plus we were doing the right thing by the company and save them some money not having to pay for an uber or taxi.

That was our first mistake and would continue to be compounded, we left the house early to stop and get the juicer there by saving the company money they would normally pay on parking or a cab. The knock on effect was that we were really early for the flight. A further knock on effect the flight is now delayed thirty minutes. Again no big deal and nothing that can’t be cured by a nice amber ale at the bar. Ok maybe two or three when you’ve got time to kill.

So having finally boarded and discovered what it’s like to be a sardine all stuffed into a tin can unless you’re lucky enough to be in business class where you seem to have a heap of leg and arm room to flap those wings around as much as you like.For the rest of the paupers however having to sit as still as possible in case they disturb the person next to them trying to sleep is a constant battle for flights longer than 45 minutes. The third class passengers on the titanic had more room to move around than today’s average flyer.

The flight crew go through the usual rig moral and safety demonstrations. Before the pilot gives his or her little introduction and before you know it you’re are zipping through the sky at 15000 feet or more. After a mini nap which was well needed, the guy down in 8D is making a dick of himself abusing the attendants. Credit where credit is due and we salute you and take our hat off to the young attendant who not only managed the situation but also the client as he continued being rude to her.

It’s about this time that most if not all of the flight are praying that the federal police storm the plane upon arrival to the gate, taser the bloke and drag him from the plane to a standing ovation. Unfortunately it doesn’t happen and the said gentleman will continue to abuse flight attendants for flights to come. So we toddle off the plane onto the long walk from one gate to another looking for some food in between the second flight of the day. With only an hour to kill while we wait time should fly, no pun intended.

Fed and feeling refreshed we headed to the gate ready to board our forty minute flight to the nation’s capital. That ripple effect continued chasing us, this flight two was delayed. No biggy, nothing to get upset about it’s only twenty minutes. Time continues tick by as patrons start to become increasingly frustrated at what is now an hour delay on a forty-five minute flight at the most.Finally we are asked to come forward using the lanes provided and board. Of course it’s one of those twin prop little things and can only be boarded via rear stairs which causes a further delay to having everyone safely in their seats ready for take off.

Thankfully everyone was keen to get going and take their seats as fast as they could in order to get the plane in the air and on its way. Now safely seat with our belts fastened low and tight, we once again sat waiting. Waiting is ok if you are told why you are waiting. As we clocked watched for the third time that day the pilot comes over the cabin and tells the now frustrated sardines that there is a slight technical problem and they need to reset the environmental control system. There was nothing to be alarmed about and the cabin lights may dim. Well they didn’t just dim they went completely out for about 30 seconds.

Safe to say all the passengers aboard the plane were now starting to think that they were not going to make it their final destination tonight. There was still hope though that they’d left enough time to organise a replacement aircraft but as we now stood around the terminal waiting for an update an update the possibility of that happening became slimmer and slimmer by the minute. The staff was extremely helpful and made sure all patrons were hydrated as they handed out bottles of water while assuring everyone that it wouldn’t be much long now.

They say a watched pot never boils well that may just be the case but we couldn’t help but check out watches as we waited. With the time creeping closer and closer towards a new day they finally offered up some flights in the morning and accommodation. As we lined up to get our accomodation and flights sorted slowly marching towards the desk now manned by four airline staff busy trying to sort out customers. Getting to the front of the line we are greeted by a friendly smile and told we are the lucky last person they have run out of accomodation after us and the only flights available are via Melbourne.

Listening to the small newborn cry in the ladies arms behind us it was an easy decision as we asked what was happening to the remaining people only to be told they would be taking a bus to Canberra. A bus a three and half hour bus ride. There was no way we could let the young couple with their small child ride a bus all the way to Canberra. If anything was to come out of this day it was a good deed done. With the bus due to depart at 11pm the calculations were done and preparations made for the long journey. As has been the theme through the whole journey the bus didn’t arrive until just after 11:30pm and start the journey until quarter to twelve.

Have you ever tried to sleep on a bus? All that vibrating, clanking, bumping and pumping of the ice-cold air conditioning do not make for an easy sleep. Even the most elite of special forces soldiers who literally train themselves to catch sleep whenever they can would have trouble sleeping on the bus. Like a flightless bird the bus hugged the road straining to gain as much speed as if could while 40 odd people tried their hardest to get some much-needed shuteye.

Finally in our hotel room after having to pay for our own accommodation which should have been sorted out by work, we looked at the clock once more. It was 4am as we jumped into bed to close out what had been the longest journey to the nation’s capital. Having thought that travel couldn’t get any worse all week our return flights a day later were both delayed by an hour and to make matters worse we are turning around to do it all again this week.

As we said we don’t like to give you the everything is awesome song and dance all the time, there is a downside to travel that those pesky bloggers won’t tell and that is quite often your flights will be delayed, cancelled or your plane turns out to be a bus. So from all the team at A Mind of it’s own we wish you safe travels and make the most of a bad situation like we did, write about it.

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