Tag: depression

Devil on my shoulder…

We promised you a second piece last week, we promised that double dose of a mind of its own. We owe you an apology, often we don’t see what goes on behind closed doors and last week for the team it was a massive reminder of that. The generally funny and often quirky blog that you all love to read is going to get a little serious for our second installment this week and touch on a subject that has affected 100s of 1000s of people around the globe. Normally this is where we’d insert a joke or two and take a track down the rabbit hole with Alice but not this time. This time we are seriously going to be be serious.

Since its inception A Mind of Its Own has been very vocal about mental health awareness and ensuring Australians in particular are getting the help and support they need. We’ve discussed how it is ok to speak out, how young men and women have battled with there demons. How we are slowly evolving and becoming more and more open with our thoughts, feelings, emotions and that there is potentially a further place that our conscious minds go to when our body’s kick the bucket and give up. That we potentially come back over and over again to awaken those that need help seeing their is a higher being if you will.

No matter what your beliefs we can all agree that women’s and men’s mental health awareness needs a little more support and a little more work particularly around suicide prevention. Its a topic people tend to shy away from, a topic that saddens people and a topic that well to be honest is one that most people would prefer to lock away in the taboo chest never to be spoken of again. No one knows the pain and anguish people must go through to feel that suicide is their only option left to stop the pain, stop the hurting, stop the thoughts, stop the burden they often feel they are.

It seems we all have a devil on our shoulder as per the title but for some its often worse than we’ll ever know. Whether your devil is drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, addiction of any form or mental illness there are options for you, there is help for you. We know there are those that will read this and say we have no idea what people are going through and you would be right, we don’t. No one really knows what goes on behind closed doors but believe that with the right help and support there is a solution for everyone out there and being advocates of mental health awareness and suicide prevention we can only try and help those who need it before its too late.

By starting the conversation we hope that men, women and children around the globe start to have a conversation and seek the help, support and stability they need. We need more options for those who feel the only option they have left is to take their own lives. By doing so we often wonder whether they have considered the legacy of pain they will leave behind. The long lasting effects on family and friends who will question for years to come whether they did enough for the fallen. Why hadn’t they reached out, why hadn’t they just ask if they were ok and needed to talk?

Across the country there are programs, charities, support groups and even medical institutes to help shoot the devil on your shoulder. It’s never an easy road to walk when seeking help but the moment you do, the weight of the world can often feel like its been lifted from you. The hardest part though is often admitting to yourself that you need some help and can’t do it all on your own. Once you’ve jumped that hurdle there will be plenty more to come but the closer you get to that often elusive finish line that keeps moving as life shifts and throws more hurdles in your way. The more it moves the more you have to dig deep and get out of your comfort zone but that is something that will become easier the more you accept needing some help and the more you open up about your demons.

As individuals we can do our part and ensure we are asking people if they are ok, a simple conversation can save a life or even make someone’s day. Even if it’s not the topic they really want to talk about, people often just like having someone there to listen and make conversation with them. Over time those conversation will become more and more in depth as you build trust between you. But just being there for friends and family is the first step in helping them help themselves. You can offer advice or suggestions but most of the time the best help you can be is to just be there and listen.

That devil on your shoulder whether it be your thoughts, your addiction or some other problem or issue can be shot. We know several people both friends and family who are forever trying to shot the devil on their shoulder. Over time it becomes easier and easier but it has taken them a lot of hard work and fair amount of pain to get where they are. But as they say you’ve got to take the good with the bad right? And it’s the things are that are always tough and hard that are worth doing. There will be those the uneducated we like to call them that will never understand the struggles and pain that those fighting a mental illness go through day in, day out out. It’s a constant battle that will often get the better of you but we learn to adapt and overcome the more we chose to fight it.

The option to fight may not always be the easiest choice or the one that family and friends decide to go with and it’s those moments where the black dog wins swallowing the ones we love and care about that bring pain and from time to time a legacy with it. Whilst we can never tell someone what to do or make them do anything they don’t want to we can provide them with options and do the small things to help them out as much as possible. Be there and provide that support but don’t make them feel like a burden. Seek professional help and support them through their journey.

For those of us feeling like we’ve exhausted all options remember this, you hold the key, the power and the ability to fight it, you just might not know it yet or how to, but given time and the right support and help you will discover all the tools and techniques to fight that devil in your own time and your own way. We just need to accept that it’s ok to need and to ask for help from time to time. There is no shame in admitting you have a problem that you need help with. It’s more empowering than you may think admitting you are struggling and can’t do it all on your own.

From the team at A Mind of Its Own, we thank you for taking the time to read this blog. To all those that have lost someone before their time to suicide, illness whatever it might be our thoughts are with you. There are no words that can make the loss any easier we can just say that those loved ones are never forgotten and will always be remembered, we can honour them by changing tune and making sure people know that it’s ok to talk and by asking those around us if they are ok or just starting a conversation. Until the next post our friends if you or a loved one need some support, guidance and or help below are the details for a couple places to make a start if you are feeling as though you can’t go to a friend or family…

Lifeline Australia

13 11 14

http://www.lifeline.org.au

Beyond Blue

1300 224 636

http://www.beyondblue.org.au

Are you still having fun…

With Thursday the 13th of September being R U Ok? Day, we asked our editor and chief if he’d sit in his seat and discuss anxiety and depression with our readers along with telling us how much talking and writing about it has helped him over the past couple of years. As they say a single conversation could make someone’s day, their week or their year. It’s ok to talk and more men and women need to be educated that is ok. SO over to you chief fire away and don’t bore the readers too much please…

Well with that introduction I’d better ensure to make this an easy, breezy read for the folks at home. If you had of asked me to write about this a year or two ago the answers would have varied from Aww hell no to a few expletives followed by a staunch no. The fact that I am now able to sit here and talk about it is a testament that if you can find that one person and start opening up, the more you do it the more you become comfortable doing. In saying that I still struggle to speak with people about my anxiety and depression that I don’t really know or that I am not comfortable with. Even writing this now has a me a little anxious as to what people may or may not think.

Like thousands of men and women across Australia and around the globe I suffer from anxiety and depression. I have my good days and yes I certainly have my bad days, my wife will be happy to attest to that. The good news is they are coming few and far between, I won’t lie and say it was easy to get to this point but I will say that it took a lot of hard work and honesty. Firstly being honest with myself and secondly being honest with those that I care about and love. Being honest and admitting to myself that there was something wrong and I needed help was probably one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life.

No one likes asking for help especially when they often can’t put their finger on exactly what the problem is or why they are feeling that way. So when people used to ask me what was wrong or why i was being quiet I would often just say nothing and try to disappear into the background. I tried changing the topic and more often than not I would ask questions and listen so I didn’t have to deal with my own thoughts and feelings. We all have days when we are feeling a little blue so I put a lot of what I was thinking and feeling down to that. At the time I was living in Brisbane, a long way away from my family and close. Yeah I had some good mates around me but none that I was comfortable talking to at the time.

It wasn’t until I started to display physical symptoms that I knew I had to do something, I had to see someone. I remember one day sitting on the floor of the bathroom feeling nauseous, there was a tightness across my chest and I was actually physically sick and I couldn’t control my thoughts. It was something I had never experienced before but it was something that would happen to me more and more over the following months until I saw someone. Now I would love to say that I plucked up the courage and went of my own volitions however I didn’t. I was given an ultimatum but it was the one that I needed and deep down I knew it was for my own good.

With my decision made I then struggled for some time as to who do I go and see, do I get medical help, do I go straight to the psychologist or psychiatrist, do I talk to friends, family. What do I do? It was daunting, I searched online, I read articles but at the end of the day it was a conversation with my father in law that changed it all. You see we don’t often get to see what goes on behind closed doors. We don’t ask questions that are personal and as men we just choose not to talk about our feelings. Its ingrained and beat into us from birth, strong men don’t talk about their feelings.

This one conversation though set me on the right path, through opening up I learnt that I wasn’t alone, I wasn’t the only person to go through this and there is nothing wrong with asking for help and knowing that it is ok to talk. Now my journey to seek the help i need may be different to a lot of people. I had a Skype call with one of the nation’s top professors of Psychiatry who then pointed me in the right direction and made recommendations. From there I saw my physician and on that back of that we setup a mental health plan that suited me.

My next hurdle along the way was having to take medication, it got me down and made me even more anxious that I needed to take a tablet each day to ensure my highs and lows were kept in balance. It honestly made me feel miserable but what it did do was allow my brain to slow down and process things a lot better. The more I researched what I was taking the more comfortable I became. I would talk about it in my session with my psychologist and together we began forming a plan to put in place the strategies and techniques to allow me to cope with my anxiety and depression if I ever came off the medication.

Over time my dosage has been adjusted, slowly becoming less and less as I become more and more comfortable with my own thoughts and feelings. How I manage and process them has gone from one of confusion and often being overwhelmed to now being ok with them and letting the thoughts and feelings come and go as they please. I’ve also learnt that talking about my anxiety and depression or writing about it has helped me a great deal. Being ok and realising that it is not a weakness but a strength, a strength that shines through in the day-to-day battle with my mind and thoughts.

The uneducated will make comments like what have you got to be sad about or are you suicidal. A lot them won’t even attempt to understand and will shy away from people with mental health issues. The truth is that mental health issues affect everyone differently, yes it does overwhelm some people to the point they want to the pain to stop that’s the sad truth but they are often the people who need our help the most. They are the people who just having a conversation with them could make their day. It could save their life, the problem is a lot of people still feel the shame and stigma that comes with mental health.

Conversations have helped me over the past couple of years, just having them has opened up my eyes to the world and to the fact I am not alone in my struggle. It has helped me understand my mind, understand my anxiety, understand my depression and most importantly understand that it’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to talk, its ok to ask for help. It’s ok to put yourself out there and be vulnerable. Take a leaf from the young females of the world they put themselves out there on social media on a daily basis with there blogging and fashion posts but they are allowing themselves to be vulnerable often for a good cause.

I’ve been humbled this week by several people reaching out to me and sharing their stories and asking for help. Whether they were inspired by me finding my voice and asking for help or not is irrelevant the fact they were able to speak up and say there were struggling made me both proud and humbled at the same time. They were taking the steps to find their feet once again and work on themselves. Most importantly they were learning to love themselves once more. The biggest part of any healing process is accepting that you are going to be ok and who you are.

So it is to all those who are struggling in the world, you are not alone, there is a good chance the person sitting next to you right now is going through the same thing or has already been through. Do yourself a favour and ask people are you ok? What you give you shall receive tenfold as the old saying goes. Pay it forward, look after yourself and take care of those around you. It’s ok to talk, its ok not to be ok, and most importantly it is ok to ask for help. From myself and the team here at A Mind of Its Own, R U Ok? Start the conversation even if it isn’t for you.

Limelight…

What a week it has been, we’ve been jetting about this amazing land of ours for our job that actually pays the bills. Adelaide and Canberra have felt the presence of the Mind of Its Own team this week in our travels. We’ve tasted the wines of South Australia and got to hang out in the halls of parliament with some of the MP’s. OK it wasn’t the halls but the flight from Canberra to Sydney on our way back to god’s country. Ah that would be Northern New South Wales. OK, OK enough fibs we caught a glimpse of them from cattle class where we barely had any room to move and our knees were up around our ears. Oh and not to mention our beers were overpriced for the portion size.

We did however get to spend sometime at the War Memorial checking out there new exhibit ‘From the Shadows’ focusing on Australia’s special forces past and present. We can safely say it was a very humbling experience walking the halls of the memorial dedicated to the men and women who have fought to protect our country. Ok so maybe not so much protecting our shores, there was a brief period where Japan was knocking on our doorstep during world war two but for the most part we have always gone to war on behalf of the crown or to support our American brothers across the sea.

So after our visit to the nation’s capital and the city of churches with exhausted minds and tired bodies we returned to our place of peace to enjoy some time away from the office. Hence why your weekly edition is so late. Apologies to our supporters, we may be late but we have finally got here for you. So this week we wanted to look at Anxiety and sport particularly with finals just around the corner across multiple sporting codes. From our elite athletes to our amateur sports men and woman, being a part of a finals campaign is something that whilst exciting can often become very overwhelming.

Whilst athletes at the professional level will have access to sports psychologists, your everyday joe playing in their local competition during finals time does not. Often when it comes to big games, whether it be semi finals or a grand final it can be overwhelming for people who have never experienced the pressure that come with a finals campaign. Even those who have played finals year in year out can still experience pre-finals jitters. Speaking from experience we know that it can be an anxious time as you wait for your game to start.

More often than not athletes will play the game over and over in their heads before they’ve even stepped on the field or court. The anxiety that builds up before a game can see even the best of athletes run their race before it starts. Within sport there are two main types of anxiety in Sport, trait anxiety and state anxiety.

Trait anxiety is more general and enduring, suggesting a predisposition to anxiety in all areas of life, not just in sport where as state anxiety is transient and specific only to the particular situation an athlete finds themselves in.

They display themselves differently in each individual. From the athlete that spews before each match to the basketballer on the free throw line whose mind is his greatest obstacle. In training they make every single shot, never miss, but during the game they struggle to overcome the anxiety that builds every time their feet touch that line.

So to our amateur athletes across the country experiencing any of the following symptoms just remember that it is a natural to feel these things and the best way to overcome it all is to discuss it with coaches and teammates. Some of the symptoms you may feel could include the following…

  • Cognitive symptoms relate to thought processes, including fear, indecision, poor concentration, loss of confidence and defeatist self-talk.
  • Somatic (physical) symptoms include muscular tension, clammy hands and feet, increased heart rate, sweating and butterflies in the stomach.
  • Behavioral symptoms relate to patterns of behavior, including inhibited posture, fingernail biting, avoidance of eye contact and uncharacteristic displays of introverted or extroverted behavior.

Here at a Mind of Its Own, we’d like to say, good luck to all those participating in the big dance throughout September. And for those that aren’t there is some quality viewing as all! The football codes are entering finals time, netball oh wait that’s done the Sunshine Coast Lighting took that title, there’s some golf tournaments, some over paid tennis players running a court, table tennis tournaments from south-east asia and home-grown lawn bowls finals and all your other favourite sport can be found across the channels you pay for with your fox sports package.

Remember why you started to play the game and remember to be nice to those that officiate it. But most of all have fun out there whether you play at the elite level or amateur so you can taste those sweet victory beers without the scrutiny of the media or your sponsors. It’s all about the enjoyment and we all make mistakes. So until the next time we grace your screen, peace out and enjoy September…

Starships and Apocalypse…

Well, well, well… Another week down and we are powering into the second half of the year. What a year it has been so far! A Mind of its Own has worked hard over the past 6 months to bring you some quality pieces to take your mind off the working week allowing you to enter into a world of numerous possibilities. We’ve given you our take on a lot of topics but this week we thought we’d enter a world that quite honestly seems like a place for private school kids and fish n chip shop owners.

Politics or politicians is certainly something we never thought we’d find ourselves writing about and it certainly isn’t on the approved list of topics that adorns the office wall. So why politics this time you ask? That’s a damn fine question and one which we will answer in the following paragraphs to come but before we do that we need to take you on a journey to a galaxy far, far away. Ok maybe we don’t and we might need to check with Disney if we can use that line before they sue us for copyright infringement.

There is one man that has said some of the dumbest things you will ever hear in your life. Hated by the intellectuals and adored by the those who lets say aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed and think insest is ok. We’ve asked the question and we know our readers are certainly asking the same question. How on earth did this mexican hating, balding, red faced, douchebag make his way to the white house? It does lead to even bigger questions about America even allowing him into the big gig. Yes we know there options weren’t great Hillary or Donald but come on Yanks really Trump? The same guy that wants to build a wall to keep out the mexicans?.

So by now you are asking yourselves how on earth we ended up down this rabbit hole and started on our anti-trump campaign. Well let’s rewind to three days ago and if you watch the news it was the most exciting thing Trump has done or said in his time in office. For those of you that prefer to get your news through social media or like to be updated in other ways we’ll spell it out for you. There are currently five branches of the U.S Armed Forces (Army, Air Force, Navy, Coast Guard and Marines). Well our wig wearing buddy announced he wanted the Pentagon to create a sixth branch.

Yes you heard it here probably not first but what Trump announced would have certainly got a lot of geeks super excited and putting there stereotypical wussiness aside and running down to the closest enlistment office to join the one, the only U.S Space Force. Space Force it sounds like something from a 1960’s science fiction film where the earth is attacked by flying saucers and giant aliens from outer space. We honestly wouldn’t have believed it ourselves if it hadn’t been televised on every news station around the globe. He’s buddies Putin and Kim Jong Un were having heart attacks as they looked at their own military forces and their plans to ward off the impending alien attacks.

This comes on the back of the US leaving the United Nations Human Rights Council, it got us wondering whether they were already preparing to build black sites on the moon and Mars in order to interrogate aliens for all their secrets? Oh wait didn’t they already do that at Roswell and then area 51? Hmm are we heading down the conspiracy theory path, no we aren’t but we thought we’d throw that in for a little twist in the plot and to get the readers thinking about all the silly things the US have done throughout the years in their pursuit to police the world and become the dominant power.

Back to the orange faced toupe for a moment this is the same guy that doesn’t believe in climate change but wants to build a wall in space to keep the aliens out? We don’t know that he wants to build a wall for sure but we do know that he wants to build a death star and ensure the US dominance in space incase Russia or China decide to join forces with the aliens and attack the states. We’re not sure why they wouldn’t just attack them on earth but hey a lot of us have always dreamt of joining the Space Force and fighting outside of our atmosphere.

Next thing we know Trump will be spruiking the light and dark side of the force and sending troops off to learn the ways of the force from an old little green man who is full of philosophical one liners. All the while his mate Kim Jong Un will be dressing up as Darth Vader so the two of them can have light saber fights instead of saber rattling on an international scene. What we are questioning though is this the start of a new space race? Who will get to Mars first? Who will build the first space wall and who will have the first space plane?

One thing Trump’s announcement has done is send the defence industry into a spin as they plan and develop weapons for future tenders that will no doubt come out from the Pentagon over the coming years. Will we finally see some lasers and star fighters? We can only hope! As for Donald Visionary or lunatic? It’s a fine line and one we know that he’ll continue to walk while his time in the white house but for now Space Force onya Trump you’ve just made every five year old boys come true! Who didn’t want to fight aliens in a far off land at some point in their childhood!

Well that’s a wrap! Another week down another blog that has taken on a mind of its own. We hope many of you have relived your childhood dreams or at least had a good giggle at our slight insight to the wonderful world that is Mr Trump and his great idea to create SPACE FORCE. We are still laughing at the name surely the military will come up with a better name for this fighting force in outer space. Until next week Peace out and hopefully we won’t need Space Force to save the day.

New York State of Mind…

Ever just wake up and wonder what it’s all for? Why life has pointed you on this path? Why your best mates all seem to be doing so much better at life than you do? Well the good news… This isn’t an advertisement for a way to improve what you deem as your shitty life. Chances are as you look at things through your goggles preparing for the super storm that is not going to come and rain on your parade, life may be better than you think.

In this week’s piece we revisit depression and anxiety to discuss how it can take on A Mind of Its Own. Don’t question it, we really did just manage to slip our blog sites title in once again. We aren’t beyond a shameless plug of the little safe haven we’ve created in which all these wonderful blogs can be found for you to read over and over till your heart’s content, your minds numb and your fast asleep in your favourite chair.

So where’s your mental health at? Have you asked yourself lately or has someone asked you? Have you spoken to someone when you’re feeling a little off colour? Have you been to see your doctor? Chances are if you’re male you’ll have answered NO to a lot of these but you’ll have never have asked yourself why your first response was no and was always going to be no. History has played a massive part in why that answer was always going to be a NO. Today’s youth aside the generations gone by have been raised to be tough. Men are told not to cry, not to talk about their feelings.

It’s interesting that the #Metoo campaign gave women who were struggling a platform in which to voice their deepest, darkest moments, fears and concerns about what the male dominated world has done to them and yet as males we still sit back puffing on cigars, sipping whiskey, bottling up our problems while we watch the world go by. Ok that may have been a gross generalisation of how males operate in society but I know from personal experience it’s not too far from the truth.

Whether it be the suffering of a mental health issue or problems at home with a loved one, money troubles, problems at work etc, unless it’s discussing how your favourite sports team performed on the weekend, it’s not something you generally talk about with mates at the pub on the weekend or your office mates around the water cooler on a Monday morning. So what makes it easier for women to communicate in general? Wives across the world would stop nagging to be talked to if there husbands just opened up and talked about their feelings from time to time instead of drinking their worries and pains away down the pub with Tommo and Roachy while staring at the Dapto dogs on the bigscreen.

It has been said that women are more mature in general than men, I’m starting to believe in terms of emotional intelligence this is very true. Perhaps emotionally it’s easier for blokes to just throw up a wall and pretend nothing is wrong. One of the toughest men i will ever meet on this earth and was fortunate enough to be related to told me on his deathbed, the one thing he wished he could of done better was talk things out a little more with family and friends before it got to this point as he had a lot to say.

The more we sit back and let things evolve before intervening the more they spiral out of control and again for what our pride at saying we were tough in our darkest moments and battled through it? Sometimes you it’s more manly to stand up and say enough is enough and know that it’s ok to ask for help. Don’t let your demons, troubles and worries take on a mind of their own. Sometimes we just don’t know where to start but once you start and that weight like the world is on your shoulders, lifts and there is an instant relief.

What is the point of days like R U OK? Or having foundations like Beyond Blue who focus on mental health and that generally of men. Movember over the years have raised money for men’s health each year often focusing on mental health as an issue in which we, yes we being men have neglected all too often over the years and why? Well that’s simple all because a lot of us were brought up idolising tough men and being told that men don’t talk about their thoughts and or feelings. Particularly if you are going through a tough time.

Yes the fear and stigma are still there that people will think you are weird, but remember as a generality, people don’t understand what they don’t know or a willing to understand and learn about. It’s ok to talk and furthermore to seek advice and medical help from professionals. There is no reason to hide anymore, anxiety, depression and even just having a bad day are as common as a cold and something that we can talk about. No we should talk about. Whether that be with a family member, friend, stranger or a professional it’s only going to help you.

From this writer to men and women across the globe don’t let your pride or fear of being judged get in the way of having a conversation that could help you out and change you life for the better. As suffer of anxiety and depression there was a fear I would be judged by my friends and family, yet finally when I found my voice they were nothing but supportive and continue to be supportive.

As an advocate of men’s health, I can only say to you it’s OK, it’s OK to talk, it’s ok to speak out and find your voice. It’s OK to lean on your friends and family in times of need or doubt. We all need someone we can talk and that one conversation could go a long way to putting you on the path to recovery. Women and Men alike around the world could be in the same boat as you and you’d never know.

Ladies and gentlemen it is Ok to speak up and seek some help or just talk about what’s going on in your life. Who knows your loved ones might really appreciate you reaching out to them. Your friends certainly will that’s for sure. To my friends and family I appreciate that you were there for me and encouraged me to seek some help and continue to be there for me in my down days.

To you the readers, this medium helps me more than I let on. The ability to write and put my thoughts and feelings down allows me to manage and maintain my battle with anxiety and depression. So I thank you for the encouragement to continue to write each week and for taking the time out of your busy lives to read each post. To the fanatics (You know who you are) thanks for being faithful to blog and my writing, you make writing this each week all the more worthwhile.

Until next week, take it easy and remember there is always some we can talk to about whatever is going on in our lives.