Category: Sports

Nocturnal Creatures…

We wondered how and if we were going to be able to top a preppers guide to the Apocalypse in which we graced your screens with a couple of weeks ago and the boffins in the idea factory have managed to do just that. They’ve come up with an idea for a blog that will have you sitting up and paying attention for months to come. Well at least till the event starts then your rapt attention may start to wane. As we enter into the second month of the year it’s we’ve seen plenty of changes to the environment and the landscapes around us. We’ve seen people go and people come from the world but we’ve continued writing and will continue to pump out the blogs one by one until we fall over in decades to come. But let’s be real with technology we could be posting things from the grave, now that’s a scary thought and we’ve shared plenty of them with you. Heck we talked about the apocalypse last post and a week later people were getting a virus from Mexico’s favourite beer.

So as we do every week the great people here at A Mind Of Its Own have put together yet another great time waster for you to read on the train home or whilst on the toilet at work killing some time out of your super busy day. Wherever you read us from doesn’t matter as long as it’s not whilst driving or operating heavy machinery and more importantly that you enjoy reading it. But you must because you keep coming back each week to see what zany ideas the boffins have come up with in the basement for us to write about. That being said we’ll crack on and get into this week’s piece, as always feel free to leave a comment in the comments section. Yes even if it’s mean, we love criticism but don’t be surprised if we call into question your IQ.

It’s a big year for athletes around the world, another year, the final year, in the Olympic cycle (every 4 years for those that didn’t pay attention in primary school) where they get the opportunity to take home a gold, silver or bronze and if they don’t take home one of those they’ve always got the memories of representing their nation on the world stage. As always you know we’ll be there to give you the in’s and outs, the news and just like the Commonwealth Games a review of sports and who to watch out for in Tokyo. There was something that caught our eye even before the first athletes had marched into the stadium for the opening ceremony which we believe will be on Saturday the 25th of July for those wondering at home when the games were (24th of July to the 9th of August). It was something that gave us a good chuckle but also got us thinking once again about practicality. Before we knew it our minds had made their way to the proverbial gutter.

Having spent time around athletes particularly those who have participated at the elite level and in a couple of cases walked away with a gold medal or two, it was interesting to get an insight into the shenanigans that come along after the pressures of competing on the big stage are over. What happens when you put athletes of the opposite sex in a little village and pile on years of pressure to compete on the world stage in one event. Well lets just say when it’s all said and done they like to let their hair down a little, some more than others. In some cases a lot, that four year cycle of non-stop training, living, eating and breathing their sport needs to be vented, after all as much we might idolise them and put them on a pedestal from time to time they are only human.

So whilst flicking through the Socials, as most people have become accustomed to on a daily basis, the other day we came across a piece on Tokyo 2020 more specifically it was focused on how environmental the games were going to be in particular the recyclable beds being installed in the athlete village. It did get us thinking about some of the stories and statistics we had read over the years about other Olympics, you know the one that happens after the actual Olympics. While everyone will be going for gold the spirit behind this year’s games is Green with the environment being front of mind for the organisers. Speaking of those going for gold, they will be sorely disappointed to find out that should they win their event they’ll be wearing a recycled phone around their necks. Fingers crossed for the latest smartphone medal winners. We did say the games were going Green. Further to the recycled phones as medals, the athletes beds are made out of cardboard, yeah that’s right the bases of the beds our elite athletes are sleeping on are made out of recycled cardboard.

We couldn’t be happier that the games are going Green, the more environmentally friendly we are in all aspects of life, the better in the eyes of this here blog. Cardboard bed frames however come into question as we are putting the sporting hopes and dreams of a nation, to rest on them each night they spend in the athlete village. Rest assured ladies and gentlemen the good folks at Airweave, the company that are producing the 18,000 beds of the athletes village have tested and then tested them again. Furthermore they can hold up to 200kg and have been certified sex proof. So unless athletes are planning an orgy of sorts the beds will comfortably hold 2 to 3 people or maybe up to 4 gymnasts they seem to not weigh a lot. Either way athletes can still go for gold between the sheets. But there are no prizes for coming first.

Come the end of the games the beds will be turned into paper products and the mattress yes even the mattresses are going to be recycled into plastic products. The fact that they come in three separate pieces so the athletes can adjust how firm or un-firm they want their sleep. It might not be such a bad thing after the unspeakable things some of the beds throughout Olympic games history have had to endure. So perhaps being Eco friendly is also a good way to destroy any long lasting memories for some of the athletes who don’t want a reminder of their post event celebrations with Ivan the weightlifter or Anna the Scottish boxer.

When the events are done and the athletes can finally relax, the question on everyone’s mind now that we’ve established you can have have sex on a cardboard bed and the homeless community will tell you that you most definitely can have sex on a piece of cardboard. That question is how many athletes end up having to go to the doctor when they get home because they’ve picked something up from someone in the village. And if it wasn’t the question on your mind it should have been! The Olympic games are renowned for the sex romps that go on after the events. If you look at the statistics of condoms handed out at RIO there were 450,000 that’s a whooping average of 42 per athlete. We don’t know about you but that’s a lot sex in a short period of time. Either that or they are using them to start the next world water war. Then again that wouldn’t be very green of our athletes would it wasting all that water and condoms. It seems like each Olympics the stakes are raised in the opportunity to catch a sexually transmitted infection, either that or athletes have control issues once the events are done.

If you look at the trend year on year the amount of condoms handed out at the games has gone up and up. Just last year at the Pyongyang Winter Olympics the usage of Tinder went up 350% during the games resulting in 110,000 condoms being handed out, which still isn’t the highest amount in the history of the Olympics but ranks up there in terms of Winter Olympics to date. We know the Japanese don’t do things half arsed and when it comes to protecting yourself in the bedroom they’ve come up with a few high tech options that include traditional Japanese artwork because every man likes to look at a condom before sticking it on the old fella and admiring the artwork now emblazoning his penis. The number of condoms to be handed out is still to be decided but the likelihood is they’ll lean towards a similar number as the London Olympics. Around 150,000 for those that like to play with facts and figures.

What are these high tech options you’re asking? They aren’t actually that high tech in fact they were pretty boring, perhaps pleasurable, but rather boring compared to where our minds went. Thoughts of talking, robot condoms that give you tips on how to spice it up or release heat or cooling or at least something cool filled our minds. Nope this is as high tech as they get, the ultra-thin 0.01mm condom. In addition to its barely there construction, these Japanese condoms are made of polyurethane, a material suitable for people allergic to latex that is standard in the construction of many condoms. OK so they are good for people allergic to latex but being thin doesn’t make them hi-tec it just makes it feel more like skin on skin. The one thing we do know is there will be plenty of athletes to ask post Tokyo 2020.

We’ll save our review of the games for later in the year but there are 33 different sports both individual and team based across 339 events (50 Disciplines) from roughly 206 countries. Is it just us or is that a lot of male and females congregating in the one area for a couple of weeks while emotions, hormones and everything else is running high? Yeah it’s no wonder they want a release after all the years of blood, sweat and tears to be in a position to represent their country on the world stage. After all they are human like the rest of us, despite the fact place them up on that pedestal. So yeah things could and probably will get a little freaky after the games for some athletes at least they will have 40 something condoms and yes they are handing out female condoms as well to protect themselves with. Some of them will even have pretty Japanese art on them according to the games organisers.

In summary Tokyo sounds like fun if you’re into sleeping on cardboard bed frames your mattress is also able to be recycled, your medal if you win one isn’t actually a medal but rather a phone that’s been recycled and you want to risk getting the Coronavirus. Well there will no doubt be a few athletes suffering from beer inflicted ailments after they finish competing but the risk of contracting the Coronavirus is slim to none unless they decide to take a quick trip to Wuhan in China and kiss a few people. So it’s safe to say that the athletes will be well protected in Tokyo just potentially a little uncomfortable as they become nocturnal creatures between the sheets.

For now we’ll leave you thinking about the beds, the dingers and pending pinnacle of sport that will grace our screens in the middle of the year. We’ll be rooting for the green and gold just not in the same way some of the athletes will be in the village. There’ll be plenty of updates and no doubt some reviews of the stars to watch. Until then there’ll be a couple of blogs about this and that as we done. Enjoy your week amigos!

Heroes Of The Sidewalk…

What a year 2019 was, there was certainly some highlights and low lights and in our annual review we plan to cover them all. It’s what we do here at A Mind Of Its Own. As the decade came to a close, a new chapter was opened and the history books were finalised once again with the who, the what, the where and the why of the last 10 years. The team at A Mind of Its Own were there for a lot of it but as it’s our annual review we’ll focus on 2019 and the year that created a lot of change within our country and personally within our lives. It was a year that saw some sadness, some growth and some strange and unusual things, so without further adieu we’ll let the team take it away from here.

Like all good publications we’ll cover the things that made the headlines in 2019 across Australia, yeah we are going to stick to our homeland and spread some of the craziness that made us stop and think over the past year. There was a lot of questioning done throughout the year and not a lot of answers were forthcoming. So to kick us off we’ll look at events and commentary from each month of the year that had heads turning and people palming their own faces.

January

  • 3 January – One man is killed and another is injured following a double stabbing at the Asia-Pacific headquarters of the Church of Scientology in the Sydney suburb of Chatswood, and they still deny they are a cult?
  • 5 January – A far-right political rally held in Melbourne, marked by scuffles with police and counter-protesters, is attended by Independent Senator Fraser Anning, who admits to using tax-payer funded travel to attend the event. Afterwards he got the Australian version of the swastika tattooed on his back for the next rally so he fit in with the rest of the far right bogans.
  • 7 January – A mass fish die-off occurs on the Lower Darling River at Menindee Lakes. Up to 1 million fish, including endangered species, ultimately die in what is described as possibly the largest fish die-off in Australian history. Where’s Greta when we need her to give the government a serve about killing our rivers?
  • 24 January – Professor Tanya Monro is appointed Australia’s next Chief Defence Scientist, the first woman in the position. The female Sheldon Cooper with a personality she’s a smart cookie who has some inspired ideas.
  • 29 January – The South Australian Murray Darling Basin Royal Commission report is released. The commission, which commenced in 2018, was critical of the Murray Darling Basin Plan and the Commonwealth Murray Darling Basin Authority. *Note to the government! Stop selling our water to overseas interests!

February

  • Four people are killed and over a thousand people remain evacuated from homes in Townsville as flooding peaks in the city, following a metre of rainfall in the first week of the month. Among the dead were two men on February 4, and two young boys on February 25, all from drowning. – No comment needed 😦
  • 4 February – The Royal Commission into Misconduct in the Banking, Superannuation and Financial Services Industry final report is tabled in Parliament. The report makes 76 recommendations. Well we all know banks are in the business of making money and that’s just what they did. Not just one of the banks but all of them.
  • 12 February – The Liberal-National Coalition government becomes the first Australian federal government to lose a vote on its own legislation in 78 years, after a defeat on the floor of the House of Representatives. Hmm we’ve touched base on politics a few times throughout the year and well it’s just been disappointing.
  • 13 February – Nineteen homes are destroyed by bushfires in the New England and Northern Rivers regions of New South Wales. Was this a sign of things to come later in the year? We certainly think so!
  • 26 February – Following the lifting of a suppression order, it is revealed that Cardinal George Pell had been convicted in December 2018 of sexually abusing two choirboys in 1996. All we can say is about time! The church has been hiding it’s secrets and disgusting people for way too long!

March

  • 13 March – Cardinal George Pell is sentenced to six years in prison following his conviction over the sexual abuse of two choirboys. Yeah boy! But six years isn’t long enough he should be locked up and the key thrown away! Where do we stand on the death penalty?
  • 23 March –
    • The Liberal-National Coalition government led by Gladys Berejiklian wins the 2019 New South Wales state election and returns to office with a reduced majority. Didn’t stop her from wasting money on a new stadium that wasn’t needed.
    • Tropical Cyclone Trevor makes landfall in the Northern Territory. Who comes up with the names for Cyclones? And how do we get that job?

April

  • 11 April – Actor Geoffrey Rush is awarded $850,000 in damages after winning a defamation case against The Daily Telegraph. What’s the saying mum? Oh that’s right if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.

May

  • 18 May – 2019 Australian federal election: Scott Morrison’s Liberal/National Coalition Government is narrowly re-elected, defeating the Labor Party led by Bill Shorten. Scotty from marketing got his job and is now leading the Nation, opinion is divided whether he is doing a good job or not.
  • 30 May – Anthony Albanese is elected unopposed as leader of the Australian Labor Party and Leader of the Opposition, replacing Bill Shorten. Richard Marles is elected deputy unopposed, succeeding Tanya Plibersek. Politics is boring enough through in Albanese and it just makes us want to stab our eyes out with teaspoons.

June

  • 4 June – At least four men are killed and a woman was injured after a 45-year-old gunman allegedly goes on a shooting spree in the city centre of Darwin, Northern Territory. When things like this happen it makes us sad but at the same time we are thankful our gun laws are as tough as they are.
  • 4–5 June – The Australian Federal Police raid the home of News Corp Australia journalist Annika Smethurst and the headquarters of the ABC over national security and special forces stories. Not sure what they found or whether Annika had anything that was of interest but the allegations levelled at some of our national heroes were quite interesting.
  • 24 June – Parts of the Darwin CBD are evacuated after the city is impacted by a 7.2 magnitude earthquake originating in Indonesia. Another precursor that the planet is furious with us for killing it.

July

  • 1 July – David Hurley is sworn in as the 27th Governor-General of Australia. Onya Davey boy!
  • 8–27 July – A biennial joint Australia-United States military exercise Talisman Saber 2019 is held. What an exercise it was, tanks, ships, planes and troops stormed the beaches of Australia in what can only be explained as a joint readiness exercise. Perhaps they knew Trump would attempt to start a war to stay in office.

August

  • 13 August – 2019 Sydney stabbing attack. Senseless violence on the streets once again.
  • 16 August – Pro-Hong Kong protesters clash with pro-China supporters in Melbourne, while police are forced to intervene during similar confrontations in Sydney and Adelaide, following the 2019 Hong Kong anti-extradition bill protests.
  • 21 August – The Victorian Court of Appeal dismisses George Pell’s appeal to overturn his conviction for child sex offences. Yeah they did, rot in jail George you scum.
  • 29 August – An attempt to deport Sri Lankan Tamil asylum seekers Kokilapathmapriya Nadesalingham (Priya) and Nadesalingam Murugappan (Nades) was thwarted by a last minute injunction, forcing the plane carrying the couple and their children out of Australia to land in Darwin.

September

  • 9 September – Homes and buildings, including the historic Binna Burra Lodge, are destroyed by a bushfire in Queensland’s Scenic Rim region.

October

  • 26 October – Climbing Uluru is banned by authority of the Uluṟu-Kata Tjuṯa National Park board. About bloody time!
  • 31 October – The Royal Commission into Aged Care Quality and Safety interim report is published and tabled in Parliament.

November

  • 8 November – Three people were killed and 150 homes are destroyed by a large number of bushfires burning across New South Wales and South East Queensland. Little did Scotty from marketing know that they would just get worse and the entire country would be on fire.
  • 11 November – A week-long State of Emergency is declared in New South Wales and the Australian Defence Force is put on alert amid mounting bushfire warnings.

December

  • 30-31 December – Eight people were killed, hundreds of homes are destroyed and the Royal Australian Navy is mobilised to assist evacuation efforts following bushfires on the New South Wales South Coast and in Victoria’s East Gippsland.

Sport

We saw the return of Smith and Warner to Australian Cricket, as well as the birth of the man affectionately known as “Loose Bus Change” Marnus Labuschagne which immediately instilled faith in all Aussies that we might actually win a test or two this summer. After dispatching Pakistan and now tearing through the Kiwis it looks like we are back on track to continue our domination of the test arena. Meanwhile Rugby suffered a setback when it lost test winger and religious faithful Israel Folau after a tweet went viral condemning most of us to hell. To make matters worse we struggled on the big stage and failed to make the semifinals at the World Cup hosted in Japan.

Our tennis brats continued to make headlines for doing just that being brats. Some of our Olympic swimmers failed drug tests, Richmond won the AFL Grand Final and all barbers opened up for Dusty cuts. In League the the boys from the Eastern Suburbs took the win over the Raiders in the who cares cup. Some horse won the Melbourne Cup after thousands of people got shitfaced and missed the race while some of our bleeding hearts protested the races altogether. Some of the lesser known sports dominated with the Green and Gold fairing well on the world stage. Our Men’s hockey team took out the inaugural FIH Pro League over Belgium while our women went down in an extra time shootout to the Dutch to take silver. As Ricky Bobby said “If you ain’t first, you’re last”.

The netballers lost the world cup to the mother country in a tight fought contest over in the UK, Motorsport well as you are aware it’s not a sport unless it involves a ball so we’ll just say some blokes drove cars or bikes around a track for hours on end. Our soccer players did what they do best diving around the ground in agony after breaking a nail. The athletics department did what they always do and ran, jumped and threw things trying to beat the juiced up Americans and really quick Jamaicans. Our equestrians jumped and trotted around on horses setting the arenas alight with their displays of pure horsemanship. Australia’s water sports people had a good year ensuring they stayed afloat for another year. The golfers holed out and well we must of done alright in every other sport we competed in we are Australians after all.

Other News

Worldly Swedish 17 year old Greta Thunberg rises to fame after telling the world we are killing it and not having seen anywhere outside of Sweden. Whilst her point is very valid and we appreciate her voice in the world there are people actually doing things to make a difference to climate change who are completely ignored. But that’s a story for another day. The reefs are dying around the world so we’re right with Greta on her message of climate change. President Oomph Loom-pa finally got impeached and 2020 will hopefully see him found guilty and thrown in jail, that’s if someone doesn’t claim the $80 million dollar bounty on his head thrown out by Iran recently. The US had even more mass shootings than any previous year recorded. Trump made the news for just being Trump, the UK finally entered Brexit and Boris Johnson got a new taupe. China caused a ruckus in the South China sea once again, Japan made human/animal hybrids. The Russians meddled in everyone’s affairs, the Stans continued fighting among themselves, Africa was once again pillaged for it’s natural resources and Europe well their economy faulted and terrorism ran rife once again.

In a nutshell 2019 was a year that a lot of are happy to see the back of, there was a lot of heartbreak, some good times and plenty of wow and what the fork moments. It was a year in which we learnt, researched and wrote some of our best pieces. The discovery of our own style of writing mixed in with a humorous approach locked in a formula that works for us and allows us to tackle the tough topics that people often find taboo. Strangely enough a lot of them are sexual in nature or relate to things that we’ve been brainwashed not to talk about for generation to generation. And so for the team at A Mind of Its Own we are looking forward to what the next 10 years bring and the evolution of ourselves as writers and a brand.

So until next week where we’ve decided to tackle an age old question that has plagued many a man and women for at least the last decade. Wish you all a fond farewell, again we’d like to send a massive shout out to the women and men on the front lines fighting to keep us all safe from the fires. You guys are truly the Heroes of the Sidewalks! Without our volunteers and the Rural Fire Service things could be a lot worse than they already are and things are pretty bad. To everyone who has donated or given up their time to help those in need we take out hats off to you. Again if you feel you need to help in some way we’ve provided links below for you to donate to one of the wonderful charities helping out those most affected… Thank you to each and everyone of you!

https://www.sbs.com.au/food/article/2019/12/31/how-you-can-help-bushfire-victims

https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/hack/bushfire-crisis-how-can-i-donate-and-help/11839842

Timberwolves at New Jersey…

It’s funny how people will come in and out of your life. They drift from one Dunbar number to next and often back and forth between the various different social groups in your life. If you are wondering what we are talking about you’ll need to go back to last weeks post and have a read. But it does help us lead into this weeks A Mind of Its Own, yep plug an old piece and get a segway into this weeks blog well played by us. Anyway, we used to have a mate and this week’s blog goes out to him. Yep we had a mate just one! I’d say he sat most of the time in between our clan and tribe level on the Dunbar matrix. He was never a really good close mate that we’d confide in but someone that we hang out with on regular occasion when we were younger.

We’ll call him Abe because it was the worst name we could come up with and he was often a bit of a knob to people in his younger immature years but who wasn’t right? Abe had this argument he’d bring up whenever he’d had a couple of beers and was well on his way to being obnoxious and annoying. The argument we’ve presented before but we’ve never really gone into detail and explained the why or how. So the premise of the argument is that it’s not a sport unless it involves a ball. Over the years it has provided hours of fun and conversation around the pub, club or bar as people try to disprove the theory that it’s not a sport unless it involves a ball.

Already the cogs are ticking away in your head as you think about so called ‘sports’ that don’t involve a ball. It’s at this point that obnoxious Abe would start shooting down peoples suggestions of sports left, right and centre. Like a gunslinger from the wild west he was first to draw and quick to blow a hole in his challengers arguments no matter how good a point they made that their sport was indeed a sport. It’s usually a lot of the individual sports that were the first to be shot down in flames. From there things progressed to some team based sports that even as sensible human beings we struggled to comprehend how they had become sports. But if it can be commercialised you can guarantee our allies in the US of A will have turned it into a money making scheme.

According to the definition, A sport is an activity that is competitive and athletic, and which requires some particular set of skills or physical abilities to be carried out. But good old Abe could never be swayed on his sports stance. The man even had a book planned but quickly gave up on the idea when he realised the title “Balls and All” was already taken and that he’d actually have to write it himself.

So what’s a sport, well the following is a list of some sports according to Abe:

  • Baseball
  • Basketball
  • Volleyball
  • Dodgeball
  • Football (Soccer, Gridiron, AFL, Rugby Union, Rugby League)
  • Tennis (Including Table)
  • Quidditch
  • Lawn Bowls
  • Lacrosse
  • Polo
  • Field Hockey
  • Bowling
  • Billiards
  • Cricket

The list goes on and there are so many derivatives of sports that we could literally list pages upon pages of them. But we aren’t here to talk about what is a sport we want to focus on what isn’t. If it doesn’t involve a ball it’s not a sport, plain and simple. What’s that athletics is a sport? No sorry it isn’t athletics is a bunch of life skills we all need and here is why. In the wild you need to be able to run away from big game so running is not a sport. Huddles is not a sport, when you are running away from the police you need to be able to leap over fences without stopping and high jump well that’s just even bigger fences. Javelin you say, nope another life skills that’s just hunting skills. Discus is just a heavy frisby, the only two athletics events that are actual sports are shot put and hammer throw. Yes the hammer is a ball on a chain a little like paddle tennis in your backyard.

Swimming is also not a sport and the most easy to argue. If you don’t swim you drown! It’s really a no brainer. Most water sports fall into the it’s not a sport category and can be classified as recreation activities. That includes synchronised swimming, diving, fishing, surfing, water skiing, wakeboarding or water pistol fights. Boxing, MMA, wrestling and any of the martial arts are not sports they are additional survival skills you may one day need when and if the zombie apocalypse comes or your country is invaded. Horse racing, motor racing and boat racing are not sports either they are activities, recreational or otherwise and none of them involve a ball unless its car soccer that’s a sport. The prevalent rise of gaming is also another recreational activity that is not a sport even if you are playing a sport on the screen.

We then move on to all the adventure sports like rock climbing, base jumping, hang gliding, street luge, white water rafting or kayaking, snowboarding, skiing, mountain biking, kite surfing and anything else that has a high likelihood of injury are all not sports. Rock climbing like tree climbing is something you did when you were a kid, cliff diving with or without a parachute is just silly. Laying on a skateboard and flying down a hill is also not a sport and something you did when you were 12 years old. The rest all just fall into recreational activities or modes of transportation.

Then there are those sports that just become questionable like hockey, played on the field it’s a sport, on ice the argument becomes a little dodgy as it’s a puck and not a ball however many a bar brawl has almost started over this one and apparently it is a sport because the ball was originally used however some genius came up with the idea to slice it in half as it travelled better over the ice. Over the years the ball was just flattened down into the puck we now know. So Abe’s argument on this one is that it’s just a squashed ball. Badminton is another questionable sport but again it’s a ball shaped object with wings a little like the golden snitch from the Harry Potter invented game of Quidditch, which has geeks running around on broomsticks across ovals all around the globe.

Anything that requires firing a weapon that was once used to kill other humans can not be classified as a sport on the premise that if it kills it’s not a sport. Archery, shooting, ice skating are all hunting skills and help put food on the fire when the world goes to shit or you just don’t have time to make it to Coles or Woolworths. Like fishing is not a sport, if you don’t catch a fish you don’t eat. What’s the saying ‘Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime’ It’s a part of the survival skill set that we all need to have in our lives. Heck you can combine it with as many other activities as you like and it still doesn’t make it a sport, yeah we are calling you out Biathlon, skiing and shooting has been done to hunt and kill in snow covered countries for centuries that doesn’t make it sport.

Dancing is something that you do in nightclub and therefore is not a sport even when you add ribbons or some batons and call it rhythmic gymnastics. Even when you throw in a pole and the man or woman does some acrobatic stuff on the pole and gets paid money to do so, it’s not a sport despite the guy having balls. And there’s another group of activities that aren’t sports. Gymnastics isn’t a sport either, except for that one floor event where they throw the bowling ball around that’s a sport. The balance beam, rings, uneven bars, trampoline and other floor events are all things that belong in a circus or a children’s jungle gym. Some of those skills could be used for survival though. Another so called sport to rise over the past decade is CrossFit and even the smart people here at A Mind of Its Own question whether that’s a sport.

We’ve decided that CrossFit is not a sport unless there is a medicine ball carrying event that is the only portion of this so called sport that is actually a sport. The rest is a bunch of fitness fanatics jumping over boxes, lifting weights, climbing ropes and doing all the things the military seem to do. To take it one step further it’s not a sport but do people try and classify bodybuilding as a sport? We know there is a lot of doping in professional sports but professional modeling competitions where you need to look like a triangle seems to have more Anabolic Steroids than the Bombers medical unit before James Hird was sacked. It’s a peptide party and only Essendon are invited but the coach didn’t know a thing about it… Hmm we think not!

As you can see there is an argument that can go with every example and if we wanted to we could take up a lot more of your time with what isn’t a sport but we’ve provided you with some of Abe’s best examples of what isn’t a sport. The man has an argument or come back for every example of a sport that he would have declassified from being a sport and the whole Idea started over a beer or two which funnily enough has now become part of a sport that has its own world championships. And yes ladies and gentlemen it’s a sport, Beer Pong the sport in which drunk men and women throw, you guessed it a ball into plastic red cups to make the other team get drunker and drunker. Run out of cups on the table and you lose. It’s a simple sport but nevertheless it is a sport.

Abe has been arguing for at least the last decade and no doubt has started a campaign or two for the rights of real sports. The problem though with Abe’s argument is that a lot of real sports are starting to die. With our interconnected world more and more children are staying inside and playing video games or chatting away to friends on WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger or any other online instant messaging system available. Heck even text messages are instantaneous these days unless you are on network Vodafone oh noooo. But in all seriousness, where did the kids go that had great imaginations and would play outside for hours on end until they were called inside for dinner. Oh that’s right the world changed and creeps roam the streets praying on women and small children like the monsters of myths, legends and fairytales.

So no matter where you fall on the great is it a sport debate, just remember the words of Abe the great. If it doesn’t have a ball it’s not a sport, if you can drive it, ride it or kill with it, it’s not a sport. The great sport debate will rage on throughout drinking holes around the globe for years to come. The Future of sports is unknown but we’ll no doubt see more and more technology involved in our favourite sports. From drones for viewing to GPS and heat mapping of players movements around the sporting field to no doubt robots taking the place of humans at some point in time throughout the future. It’s a scary new world for sports, those with balls anyways.

Yet another chapter to be filed away in the A Mind of Its Own chronicles. As the sun dips beyond the horizon on another day we’ll close this blog by saying the following. If you are a professional athlete and have taken offense to this because you don’t have a ball in your sport, take it up with Abe you can find him at the Raiders club in Canberra. The gungahlin one just FYI, for those looking to spark up the great debate over a beer or two and a slap on the pokies. I hear he’s a big fan of Where’s the Gold these days! On that note and the no doubt several calls we may get from Abe we’ll say goodbye and wish you all a pleasant week wherever you may be in this wonderful world.

Oh and if something doesn’t make sense there is a good chance Google can answer it for you, it’s helped us to research a lot of the things we write about here.

Cheating At Solitaire…

We’ve been at this for close to sixty posts now and we’ve tackled a lot of good things over our time bringing you A Mind of Its Own so far but we made a promise to ourselves and to our fan base that 2019 was going to be a big year in the blogosphere for us. We’ve got a few things happening in the background that will hopefully take us to the next level and we are looking forward to expanding our reach across social media and various other forms of media. When this blog was first started it was started as a way for its founder to help combat his anxiety and depression. For months blog post after blog post, just sat idle on his laptop waiting for him to find the courage to put it out there in the ether for people to read.

It was about this time last year that courage started growing like a wildfire and the idea of A Mind Of Its Own was born. The premise being that no topic was too big or too small to be tackled and each piece could in fact take on a mind of its own. Since then our writing has grown and we’ve begun to develop our own style, own views and most importantly our own confidence that no matter what the topic people will read it and whether they like it or not is of no importance to us. We write because we can, we write because we want to and most of all we write because if we don’t who it going to tackle the topics that people really want to hear about? Life is a lot bigger and better when it takes on a mind of its own.

So without further delay we launch into this weeks blog, masterpiece, comedy session and advice column, editorial and puff piece all rolled into one. With a lot happening in the world we thought we’d take a look at the months to come. It’s that time of the year where we can pack away the cricket gear, not that it was out much this year given the way the Australian team performed over the summer at home. They may as well of done some ball tampering it might have improved their performance. The big bash final concluded on the weekend and unless you are from Victoria no one really cared when the final was between to Melbourne sides. The soccer is all but done no idea who won this years who cares cup in either the mens or the women’s, while the Women’s AFL is underway and Carlton have finally won a game after 12 months.

We are in the lead up to football season here in Australia and the team here are hanging out to see the mighty Swans kick off their 2019 campaign. We’ve lost a few favourites but picked up some guns to try to fill their shoes while hanging on to our bigger guns which should see us in top four contention for yet another season in a row. The NRL will be underway with no doubt plenty of scandals for 2019 surely we will see some home videos of animals being harassed, cocaine being snorted, ladies being harassed, sex scandals galore along with public defecation and no doubt other acts of indecencies from men with IQ’s lower than elite golfers handicaps. Then there’s the Rugby Union, the private school boys who have brought out every pair of Chinos and cotton shirts they can find before running around on the weekend shoving their heads up the bums of their teammates in what is better known as a scrum.

If that’s not enough sport for you then the Yanks have the silly men skating around on ice, several Aussies shooting hoops in the NBA and baseball season is about to kick off. What we are really looking forward to is the Pro Kabaddi league in India. If you haven’t seen a game of Kabaddi we recommend you google it and get on board. It’s like tackle british bulldog but for grown men and women. Oh and how could we forget the lingerie football league or for the ladies the topless summer league. There’ll be finals and playoffs around the world in all forms of sport and we almost forgot our favourite sport, netball will once again grace our screens on free to air tv. With so much to watch the DVR will be running hot to ensure we don’t miss a minute.

Which finally brings us to amateur sport in the great land down under. We’ll see children, men and women from all walks of life gracing local ovals, courts, fields, tracks and whatever else in their attempts to seek glory in their chosen sporting field. Heck even the grumpy old man in the office here is strapping on the shinnies and having another run around with the Kingscliff stingers in an attempt to go back to back in the Gold Coast stickball league (Field Hockey) he’ll no doubt pull up sore and have some issues with his back and hamstrings but he has assured us that this is the last stand for him in the top grade before retiring down the grades and helping to bring the youth through.

With that said we thought we’d give you a quick overview of teams to watch throughout winter 2019. That being said we’ll start with the women:

Brisbane Firebirds – Netball

If you believe everything you read the Lorna Jane (Yep shameless sponsorship plug there) Firebirds are the most successful elite netball side in Australian history with five grand final appearances and three championship wins over the last eight years. With former Sydney Swan Kurt Tippet’s sister Gretel leading the charge in the front half of the court the diamonds goal attack has been in fine form for the last couple of seasons. Back up by her good mate Gabbi Simpsons the Firebirds will be looking to make their way to the big dance once again.

North Melbourne – AFL Womens

One of the two new kids on the block in the women’s AFL the Shinboners known for booting their opponents in the shins have hit the ground running and are currently three from three in their inaugural AFLW season. Picking up big names like Hope and Ashmore from established clubs the Kangas have been exciting to watch so far this season. Former Hockeyroo Georgia Nanscawen or how ever you say it, the aussie ranga has followed Collingwood big gun Georgie Parker in defecting from stick and ball and found herself a home at the Kangas. Make sure you watch Kaitlyn Ashmore the 27-year-old has impressed in her previous seasons at the Brisbane Lions.

Sydney Swans – AFL

The bloods have been impressive over the last two seasons with Captain Josh Kennedy leading from the front. Big Buddy Franklin has provided a target up front and the swans midfield is one of the best in the league with the likes of Kennedy, Heeney and Parker providing pace and experience. Add in McVeigh who seems to only get be better with age and the pace of Zak Jones the Swans have recruited well over the past couple of season with the likes of Ronke, Papley and Hayward showing their worth in 2018, the swans picked up a few new faces for 2019 who will no doubt be keen to show their value and commitment to the club.

Canberra Raiders – NRL

This year we are thinking it’s time to hang up the blue and yellow of Parramatta and jump ship to the Canberra Raiders who are due a top four spot after recent years of coming so close. Secretly we’ll still be praying that the Eels find some form or half their players get released from jail in time for kickoff but we won’t be holding our breath so come on the green machine. Does Laurie Daley still play for them? What about that Croker guy? Do we know one single player, probably not we just looked at the ladder for the past couple of years and knew we were on to a winner,. $100 on green for a top four finishing? The odds are pretty good in our favour.

Waratahs – Super Rugby

With one of the best lineups of Australian Rugby talent the Tahs are a serious contender for the Championship yet again in 2019. To rattle off a few Hooper, Foley. Kefu, Hunt, Falou, Staniforth, Beale and Ashley-Cooper sounds more like a Wallabies lineup than a Super Rugby side. With plenty of speed and talent these movers and shakers are keen for a big 2019 Super Rugby season. We’ll certainly be pulling on our Tahs jerseys in support of the boys from Sydney as they attempt to bring the trophy back to Australia and instill some faith in the union supporters community. Like our cricketers our Wallabies haven’t been doing to well in recent times.

Las Vegas Golden Knights – AHL

The new kids on the block had a stellar first season in as they chased Stanley Cup glory only faltering in playoff games to miss a ticket to the dance. Not since the Edmonton Oilers and Harford Whalers in the 1979-80 season and a team clinched a playoff berth in their inaugural season in the league. Continuing their run of good form the Knights from Vegas set several records on their way to the big dance. Unfortunately they fell short in the Stanley Cup playoffs to a polished Washington Capitals outfit. Seeking out their first cup the desert dwellers are keen to hit the ice in 2019 and show they are serious contenders for the cup.

Kingscliff Stingers – Gold Coast Hockey League

Rounding out our teams to watch in the winter of 2019 the beach boys from across the NSW border have a point to prove in 2019 as they attempt to go back to back after taking out last year’s premiership against a tough Labrador outfit. While the team has gone through some changes in the off-season. They return with almost a full compliment from the 2018 final, including a few new names to the roster and the stepping down of several key players from the top grade. Making way for youth is a priority for the club and head coach from olympic gold medalist Nathan Egglington, who made his return to the club last season after spending years in Western Australia in the Australian set up as both a player and coach after retiring from international duties. 2019 is set to be a big season for the green and black.

So with plenty of sport happening over the next 6 months there is no reason to get bored. We’ll keep you updated throughout the months and weeks as we watch teams chase glory on their chosen stage. We’ll also watch the angry old man in the office come in on a Monday morning whining about how sore he is from the weekend’s game. We certainly know one thing, we’ll have plenty of sport on the idiot box to keep us occupied over the coming months and with sport comes a few frothies and some time with mates at the pub. Whatever your poison when it comes to sport, support your team loud and support your team proud.

The the team here at A Mind of Its Own wishes you happy viewing and an amazing winter, rug up and stay warm if you’re south of the Sydney and for all us coastal kids we’ll make sure we enjoy the sun for you when it comes out and about to say hello. Until next week we bid you a fond farewell and hope you’ve enjoyed another installment of the blog to kill all blogs. We’ll leave you with this little piece of food for thought. It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. – Confucius

Coffees for Closers…

They say it’s not over until the fat lady sings… In some regards who ever first said this was extremely correct. The only problem is that it’s now politically incorrect to be on the lookout for fat ladies to sing so you can make sure it really is over or to bring up people’s body image, actually we have no idea what is and isn’t correct these days, everyone is becoming rather a little too precious. Actually a fat lady singing might lighten the mood in certain situations. Break ups and other such often traumatic events might just become a little easier if there was a heavyset lady belting out a tune to make you smile or at least grimace. Imagine having to go to court to finalise your divorce and at the back of the room a lady just starts banging out ‘Another one bites the dust’ by the Bee-gees.

The team at A Mind of Its Own would certainly find it more than a little amusing. So back to Fat Ladies singing and it not being over till they do. How does this relate to this weeks blog well it ties in to belief, trust and preparation. You often hear sports coaches telling their athletes to trust in the preparation, believe in the process and have faith your teammates. Well have we got an inspirational story for you. You thought Herman Boon taking TC Williams High school to their first AAA Championship despite all the odds and obstacles they had to overcome not only as a team but as a town divided by race. It showed what believing in a process or in those around you can do or perhaps Miracle on ice is more fitting for this story but either way belief is a strong and powerful tool.

So to tell this story we first need to take you on a journey. The journey starts with a tour of the Australian coastline to a little seaside village in the Northern Rivers of New South Wales. This picturesque seaside town close to the border of Queensland and on the doorstep to the iconic Gold Coast has produced a lot of great athletes over the years. Like many coastal cities in NSW and QLD it is predominantly a rugby league town with the local team the Cudgen Clowns playing in the who cares cup each week against every other who cares cup team. What many people don’t know is that it has a great field hockey history that rich with Australian Representatives including an Olympic Gold Medalist. It is a family town and more than that it is a family club with generations of the same families having donned the Green, White and black in the hunt for victory. The other thing you might not know, is that while the team here at A Mind of Its Own are great at writing and making your laugh each week, we all dabble, participate, turn up, warm the bench or watch hockey games each weekend and have done so since we were little. When we say little we are talking like 11ish but still little enough not to know any better.

And so it was that a Mind of Its Own crew joined Kingscliff Hockey Club Men’s division one on their road to a premiership for the twenty eighteen season. It would be a long season that would not be without some stumbles, falls and hurdles along the way. We’ve often wondered what people think when they see the boys from Kingscliff turn up to the Labrador hockey grounds. An eclectic mix of potato farmers, surf bums, wanna be golf hacks and blue collar professionals. As individuals they each have something to offer to the team from their never funny jokes, to the bloke with the big teeth that just never shuts up. As a team they have bonded and learnt to trust in each other and trust in the preparation and process. A family away from family for some and a great bunch of blokes for others, who are proud to call each other mate.

Throughout the season they proved time and time again that belief in self and belief in each other along with trust in their preparation for each game was paramount but it would shine the brightest in the only match that truly counted throughout the season. With a regular season that consisted of one loss and two draws amongst their many wins, there was no doubt from the Stingers as they affectionately known around the club would be there on the fateful day in September. Having prepared with a solid preseason and lots of sessions at the Leagues Club or Chinderah Pub most of the team were fit and raring to go from day one. From the old heads to the next generation round after round the team poured their heart and soul into every game.

So come finals time it was no surprise that there was a little disappointment from the playing group when they lost their first semi to the poodles and didn’t go straight through to the final instead they took the long route to September and had to play in a major semi final to go through. In the end securing top spot was a good thing allowing the boys from the beach and bush a second bite at a well deserved cherry. With another show of domination the team showed their strength and waltzed through to the big dance against some labradoodles.

September the 8th will forever go down in Kingscliff Hockey Club history as a day to be remembered. It was a day in which belief in a team, belief in the process to get them there and belief in self will forever be etched in the history books or at least the players instagram, twitter and facebook feeds. Having lost to the poodles two weeks earlier the Stingers were out for revenge. Piling on the bus for the long journey up the motorway to Labrador Hockey Complex the air was full of nervous energy and excitement and the sweet smell of hops wafting from those not playing at the back of the bus. Each player lost in their own thoughts and feelings as they explored the what ifs to come. Many of them playing the game over and over in their heads before they’d even stepped out on the field.

The hours ticked by as they waited patiently watching on as other teams took the field before them. Game after game, team after team, winners and losers decided in the matter of minutes. Heroes and villains decided as teams battled to take home the coveted prize. Seventy minutes was all that stood between glory or sadness until the following season when redemption could be sought. Finally the time came for the Stingers to prepare for battle, like warriors of the past marching out to meet an opposing army they donned their armour only it wasn’t in the form of chainmail or armour plating but in the form of plastic shin pads and rubber mouthguards. Sitting there the team listened to the coach layout the plan for one last time that seasong.

Nothing had changed from the first time the coach had written on board, plan would remain the same. The team trusted in their preparation knowing that the rest would take care of itself. The warm up was the same as it had been all year. They ensured they were warm and the keeper was prepared as best he could be. One last little pep talk from the captain and the team lined up to take the field. Seventy minutes left in what had already been a season to be proud of. Seventy minutes standing between them and the outcome they had chased all season.

The whistle sounded in what would be a fierce and fast first half of hockey. The majority of play was in Kingscliff’s attacking half, as they continued to apply attacking pressure earning several attacking corners (For those playing at home its where you get a shot from the top of the circle) The labradoodles dam wall however was holding strong. Unfortunately like all things in sport often things just don’t go your way at times. The poodles managed to net two in quick succession and taking the lead into half two nil up. With the second half in full flow the game was still hanging in the balance almost midway through the second half before a mistake made my an official that would tip the game further in the poodles favour.

At three nil down with only seventeen minutes remaining until full time in the match a lot of people had probably started to write the boys from Kingscliff off. We wouldn’t blame them either, the KHC boys had plenty of chances up front to get themselves back in the game. Now going back to the beginning of this blog where we discussed belief in the process, believe in each other and trust that it’s never over until the fat lady sings. Well after weathering the continued poodle assaults, the dam wall finally burst down the other end. One then two and finally the third came on the cusp of the of the game finishing. As the final whistle for the half blew the team’s belief and trust in the preparation had never waivered.

Going into extra time golden goal the belief in the groups ability and the ability to finish what had started back in March was never in doubt. The play that had the fat lady singing ‘we are the champions’ saw the ball shifted from one side of the pitch to the other, passed down the line and slapped towards the circle as the clock ticked past the first minute of extra time. The ball bobbled into the circle finding a Kingscliff stick and a brilliant piece of individual skill sealed the deal. Like all good stories and movies this one had a happy ending. The belief that had been with the team from Kingscliff from the beginning of there season had got them through and saw them take the premiership four goals to three in extra time.

Elation and excitement buzzed around the ground as players ran in from all directions to find a time mate. Players danced and hugged each other as they celebrated the win, they had danced their way into the history books.The boys from the Northern Rivers had completed the perfect comeback in the game that mattered most of all. It just goes to show what believing in something or someone can do. From the team at a Mind of Its Own we hope you have a great week, dream big and never stop believing…

Limelight…

What a week it has been, we’ve been jetting about this amazing land of ours for our job that actually pays the bills. Adelaide and Canberra have felt the presence of the Mind of Its Own team this week in our travels. We’ve tasted the wines of South Australia and got to hang out in the halls of parliament with some of the MP’s. OK it wasn’t the halls but the flight from Canberra to Sydney on our way back to god’s country. Ah that would be Northern New South Wales. OK, OK enough fibs we caught a glimpse of them from cattle class where we barely had any room to move and our knees were up around our ears. Oh and not to mention our beers were overpriced for the portion size.

We did however get to spend sometime at the War Memorial checking out there new exhibit ‘From the Shadows’ focusing on Australia’s special forces past and present. We can safely say it was a very humbling experience walking the halls of the memorial dedicated to the men and women who have fought to protect our country. Ok so maybe not so much protecting our shores, there was a brief period where Japan was knocking on our doorstep during world war two but for the most part we have always gone to war on behalf of the crown or to support our American brothers across the sea.

So after our visit to the nation’s capital and the city of churches with exhausted minds and tired bodies we returned to our place of peace to enjoy some time away from the office. Hence why your weekly edition is so late. Apologies to our supporters, we may be late but we have finally got here for you. So this week we wanted to look at Anxiety and sport particularly with finals just around the corner across multiple sporting codes. From our elite athletes to our amateur sports men and woman, being a part of a finals campaign is something that whilst exciting can often become very overwhelming.

Whilst athletes at the professional level will have access to sports psychologists, your everyday joe playing in their local competition during finals time does not. Often when it comes to big games, whether it be semi finals or a grand final it can be overwhelming for people who have never experienced the pressure that come with a finals campaign. Even those who have played finals year in year out can still experience pre-finals jitters. Speaking from experience we know that it can be an anxious time as you wait for your game to start.

More often than not athletes will play the game over and over in their heads before they’ve even stepped on the field or court. The anxiety that builds up before a game can see even the best of athletes run their race before it starts. Within sport there are two main types of anxiety in Sport, trait anxiety and state anxiety.

Trait anxiety is more general and enduring, suggesting a predisposition to anxiety in all areas of life, not just in sport where as state anxiety is transient and specific only to the particular situation an athlete finds themselves in.

They display themselves differently in each individual. From the athlete that spews before each match to the basketballer on the free throw line whose mind is his greatest obstacle. In training they make every single shot, never miss, but during the game they struggle to overcome the anxiety that builds every time their feet touch that line.

So to our amateur athletes across the country experiencing any of the following symptoms just remember that it is a natural to feel these things and the best way to overcome it all is to discuss it with coaches and teammates. Some of the symptoms you may feel could include the following…

  • Cognitive symptoms relate to thought processes, including fear, indecision, poor concentration, loss of confidence and defeatist self-talk.
  • Somatic (physical) symptoms include muscular tension, clammy hands and feet, increased heart rate, sweating and butterflies in the stomach.
  • Behavioral symptoms relate to patterns of behavior, including inhibited posture, fingernail biting, avoidance of eye contact and uncharacteristic displays of introverted or extroverted behavior.

Here at a Mind of Its Own, we’d like to say, good luck to all those participating in the big dance throughout September. And for those that aren’t there is some quality viewing as all! The football codes are entering finals time, netball oh wait that’s done the Sunshine Coast Lighting took that title, there’s some golf tournaments, some over paid tennis players running a court, table tennis tournaments from south-east asia and home-grown lawn bowls finals and all your other favourite sport can be found across the channels you pay for with your fox sports package.

Remember why you started to play the game and remember to be nice to those that officiate it. But most of all have fun out there whether you play at the elite level or amateur so you can taste those sweet victory beers without the scrutiny of the media or your sponsors. It’s all about the enjoyment and we all make mistakes. So until the next time we grace your screen, peace out and enjoy September…

Abandon Ship or Abandon All Hope…

Like discovering a new planet or species of animal, all discoveries require research, so for this week’s episode the team at A Mind of Its Own pulled on their gym shorts donned their singlets that barely cover the bulging beer bellies and laced up our best pairs of dunlop volleys in order to head out and get some much needed exercise. Like a bunch of clowns we jumped into the Tarago and headed off into the Sun, towards the surf and sand, the glitz and glamour of Australia’s home of the cashed up bogan. Welcome to Ipswich!!! Just kidding we are back again on the gold coast looking like a 70’s NBA team with way too much skin showing for middle aged white males.

First of all if you are searching for a McDonalds, KFC and Hungry Jacks what you may have noticed is there is pretty much one on every major street corner. What you might have also noticed is gym’s have become the health junkies fast food franchise. We’d do the maths and give you the average amount of gyms per suburb but it’s just passed whiskey o’clock and our brains only seem to work between the hours of 9 to 5 without the aid of alcohol to drive our cognitive patterns. If it’s after 5pm our filter packs up for the day, our sense of humour comes home to increase the hilarity and our caution to the wind disappears altogether like last nights vindaloo down the dunny in the wee hours of the morning.

Like Roxanne putting on her red light, the gyms are lit up for all to see. There bright advertising invites you to come inside and transform from flab to fab. The reception is generally manned by a beautiful person to show you exactly what can happen if you too come in and spend time sitting in other people’s sweat after they forget to wipe down the machines. As we watched the hard earned pineapples leave our wallet and fly across the counter into the male models chiselled hands, a row of pearly whites flashed a knowing look our way. We began to wonder what drives people to come to these testosterone filled, bloated ego dens. We half expected to walk into the changerooms and transport into an American football locker room with blokes flicking each other with towels and the coach handing out steroid injections.

We’d entered the belly of the beast, there was no turning back now. We needed to soldier on and stop making excuses as our team of unwilling beer guzzlers was lead up stairs to the gym floor. With our tails between our legs we’d have just as soon as run back down the stairs and all the way to the safety of the NSW border then be in this hell. We’d entered a land never seen before… Everywhere we looked, we saw people with no necks and ladies with bigger guns than some of the Australian Navy’s warships. Mirrors adorned the walls with people staring at themselves as they ensure there form was correct. Form you ask? So did we after we questioned how vain all these people were.

Have you ever wondered why a lot of people just refuse to go to the gym these days? Well at a mind of its own we think we’ve found the answer. Enter any gym around Australia… First of all if we got you there you’ve no doubt noticed all the mirrors, what else have you noticed? It’s the dudes with tattoo sleeves bulging muscles, skinning legs and no necks right? Or the older ladies with bolt ons, makeup that looks like its been applied with there tradie husbands trowel and the orange glow of their skin? Or is it the looks you keep getting everytime you go to use a machine that one of the roided up egos has been alternating between when he or she is not staring at themselves in the mirror wondering how they’ll go this saturday night trying to pick up. And some of these people could quite literally pick up other people and throw them around a room in a fit of aggressive passion.

Like crotchety old men we are pushed towards a bench and told to lift some weights. The term “Do you even lift” gets thrown around a little too much and the muscle men in front of the mirror laugh and shake their heads as we strain to get the bar and the meager 5kgs on either end moving in a repetitive nature that the trainer is happy with. By now he is starting to lose his patience with our un-coordinated lack of ability to do anything that resembles bench press. Finally though he wins through and like true professionals we find the exercise for us.

Who knew bicep curls and drinking were so closely related. As we lifted heavier and heavier pretending we were lifting stiens of Germany’s heaviest, sweetest ales to our mouths. The hour session continues to drag out as we move from station to station still perplexed by how serious people are taking their workouts. There are guys throwing around weights channelling their inner Arnie, young ladies who have almost done an hour of nothing but squats as they work their glutes into a Kim Kardashian frenzy for the perfect bum.

Triangles flex in front of the mirrors forgetting leg day for the 100th session in a row. There skinny little legs starting to bow at the strain of carrying around there large muscled upper bodies. The serious gym goers grunt out a session, sweating as they push themselves harder and harder through each exercise while the plastics do just enough to keep there figure and slight tone while trying to wear as little as possible to attract looks from all around. The trainers laugh at their own jokes and talk about their weekends while pushing clients to breaking point. Creepy guys watch on as girls try to work out in peace, no wonder a lot of women go to Fernwood. And then there are the other guys. The ones who just want to maintain their fitness and do it without losing their dignity.

Finally done it’s like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, in this case it literally has, all those weighted lunges can’t be good for your knees, back and any other part of your body. That deep burn you keep hearing about isn’t so deep as you feel it begin to radiate through your entire body like an oil slick spreading from a crashed tanker. Walking out feeling like we’d been run over by Optimus Prime and the entire Autobots entourage. The pain pain was only going to get worse as we soon discovered. Two days later… enter DOM no not a bloke named Dom who we had a disagreement with whilst at the gym sitting in his sweat but delayed onset muscles soreness or DOMS. It’s the pits and we are starting to see why people hate the gym.

Ok so the gym might not be for everyone, or more importantly gyms on the Gold Coast might not be for everyone. If you like looking at yourself in the mirror, have ridiculous tattoos, drive a car like your part of the fast n furious crew, have no neck and think you are super good looking then the gold coast gym scene is definitely for you. If you want to go and work out without having to deal with all this we suggest you do during the day before lunch or after lunch before work finishes. Or you could always just install your own home gym and be done with the machine hogs.

As we sneak away from yet another session in the gym where our arms and legs are burning and our egos are feeling a little shattered. We hope you’ve enjoyed this week’s installment of a mind of its own, no roid rage was endured or encounter in the making of this blog. We hope we haven’t offended any gym frequenters in our take on Gold Coast gyms. If we have you’ll get over it before the next set is done. For another week it’s over and out and from the team at A Mind of Its Own, you do you champ.

Call Come Running…

Another week, another blog and another point of view from the team here at A Mind of Its Own. Over the last couple of weeks we’ve been fortunate enough that topics have just been falling into our lap as we sit at our desks and put on our thinking caps. It’s not always easy writing about something that will both capture your attention, insight some thought and allow us to have a little laugh as we tap out another blog.

Once we’ve got a topic in mind the piece pretty much writes itself, we pad it out with some statistics when they’re available or a joke or two at ourselves or the topic in which we’ve decided to entertain you with for the week. We try to stick to the point but often as with the title we drift off point and find ourselves on an interesting tangent, that may or may not have anything to with the post for the week. As always stick with us and we’ll get you their in there end even if we have to go around the round about a couple of times.

This week it was our professional athletes that provided us with the inspiration to hammer away at the keys of our retro Amiga 64’s along with a much-needed giggle. So with much further ado, we put on our fashion police badges, donned our best fedoras and shark skin suits to settle in and write this piece in style. We took to watching a lot of sport this week and I have to say it has led us to question the decision-making abilities of our elite sportsmen and women. As armchair coaches it always easy for us to see what they could have done better or question the decisions they make in the heat of the contest. But as fashion conscious armchair police and modern-day males we threw our hands in the air, scratched our heads and just wondered why.

As our analytical minds kicked into gear while watching a plethora of free to air sports, we began wondering how much adrenaline was pumping through the veins of these men and women, when they decided to get the arm sleeve tattoo that a toddler could have drawn better or the ridiculous looking bullseye at the small of their back. Then there’s the questionable haircuts, did they do those themselves because if they paid money for something anyone with a set of clippers could have done, I’d be asking for my money back and quick smart. Do professional athletes feel terrible tattoos make them better? Or is it all that money they are paid to play a sport there forefathers played for free, that makes them make such terrible permanent choices?.

Now don’t get us wrong we aren’t saying tattoos are a bad thing or they are ugly that would be hypocritical in a big way. All we are saying is that the choice of tattoos by some, not all, of our professional athletes is a little concerning. Unlike a bumper sticker which disappears when you finally part ways with your hotted up Datsun 180B you’ve had since you got your license, unless you are willing to sit through a lot of expensive sessions where some lady in a white coat zapps you with lasers that could be used in a science fiction movie to evaporate aliens. Tattoos are for life, so you’d want to hope that what you decide to get inked has a lot of meaning to you and is something you want to keep.

It would be ok if it was just the tattoos but when you go the full package, the word knob comes to mind along with a few others that can’t be said in this forum. Tattoos all over your arms, a moustache that yes I would be proud of if i could grow it and a haircut that wasn’t even popular in the 70’s tell me that you’ve gone too far. Having a nice bright pair of boots, two full sleeve tattoos and shit haircut is not going to make you any better than you already are, how you look has no correlation to how gifted you are in the sporting arena if that were the case we’d be lining up our newborns to get a full sleeve and mullet haircut before they could even tie a pair of shoes let alone master their fine motor skills to kick a ball with pinpoint accuracy.

As we watch the AFL for another week the amount of bad tattoos floating around a single oval televised to the nation has us wondering what was going through a lot of these blokes minds. Flick over to the netball and more silly tattoos. Is it just me or tattoos the norm these days and people without them are the minority? It’s at this point we put in a call to mothers to ask if they’ve attempted to slap any sense into their children. Oh wait you can’t hit kids anymore that abuse no wonder the younger generation has no respect. My mother finally answers the phone after a couple of attempts only to want to talk about every other topic than the reason I called her to discuss whether or not she is happy or annoyed at the ink her son sports.

So with no help from my own mother, i thought about whether we should go out to social media and ask the public before deciding on the fact that it doesn’t really matter whether the public agree with us or not A Mind of Its Own is a platform for us to provoke thought and provide our own two cents to you the readers. It’s at times a living, breathing soapbox. So that being said and done we reach into the big book of Australian politician quotes to borrow one from the Ipswich instigator Pauline herself and ask someone to “Please explain?”.

Bad haircuts, terrible tattoos and poor choices at times leads me to think that perhaps while athletically gifted these men and women aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed. They can slice through a defensive line, look graceful and often majestic on their chosen sporting field but ask them to behave themselves on the drink or get a decent haircut and you may as well head to the local preschool where you would find some level-headed children who don’t know any better but would still make better choices. Talent, a massive paycheck and adorning fans does not give you carte blanche to try to set, start or even suggest fashion trends, advice. As people keep saying to me, stick to what you are good at and leave what you aren’t to the professionals. So that being said and done, we’ll leave fashion, sporting and the majority of tips that can be provided to those in the know and we’ll just stick to writing about it and stirring the proverbial pot.

For the generations of aspiring youngster to come, we hope that you can make some better decisions, if you aspire to be a professional athletes just remember you will be in the limelight your every move will be scrutinised both on and off the field, you will be on television and you will have little kids looking up to you so here’s a thought. Get a decent haircut, ensure your ink is something you really want and will cherish for life and if you find yourself in a compromising situation remember that everyone has a camera phone these days and as much as you think you can trust people there is always someone who will see the personal gain in selling you out.

So for another week, we draw a close to a chapter of A Mind of Its Own, one that has had us in stitches as we analyse and laugh at haircuts, tattoos and some of the best Moustache’s going around. For you though our readers, our dedicated and willing participants, It’s one of those weeks where you’re lucky enough to receive not one but two blogs. If Tim Shaw was still working for Demtel I’m sure he’s throw you in a free set of steak knives. It’s a busy time in the world there is a lot happening. We are entering uncertain times and there is the ever-growing threat of a world once more at war. But every now and them a story comes along and warms our hearts. The second piece for the week is one such story.

So before we say too much, we’ve baited the hook, cast out our line and will leave you to hopefully swallow it, hook, line and sinker and have a read of our second piece this week. So from the Team at A Mind of Its Own, we thank you once again for spending some time with us. Having a read and sharing in our little often weird and wacky world. Until next time! Peace be the journey, cool runnings.

Slowdance on the inside…

Welcome to another installment of A Mind of its Own. This week we thought we’d throw on the whites head down the oval via a trip to the painting isle at Bunnings and rough up a few cricket balls before rolling the arm over to send down a barrage of half volleys, laughs and insights about the world around us.

It’s been the second biggest thing to hit the news in recent weeks only to be surpassed by the shambles of the Commonwealth Games opening ceremony that left us wondering how long it would be, before the woman responsible for Arsegate would be releasing a book titled My Crack, the story of the games unhidden shame.

Three men, one piece of sandpaper, a roughed up cricket ball and the scandal of the nation. Not since the infamous John Hopoate Incident in 2001 has a nation’s sporting world been rocked so heavily. There’s been the odd breach of the NRL’s salary cap (A new year another team) or the new round of AFL naked selfies but nothing that has brought a great sporting nation like ours to a halt like this has since John reached up and fingered several of his opponents anus’s.

As I sit in the office dual screens in front of me researching cricket’s current events it occurs to me that we need to just relax. What? I am relaxed you think to yourself and who is this guy to tell me to relax? I’m not talking about you the reader sitting there sipping your latte on a Wednesday morning while scrolling through our blog on the latest and greatest tablet or smartphone. I’m talking about society in general.

We place our heroes on pedestals like infallible gods only to become extremely enraged and upset with them when they make a mistake. Sports men and women seem to cop it just as much as anyone else. The only good thing to come out of the recent cricketing scandal is Bunnings profit margin for the first quarter of the year. In the last month alone sales of sandpaper have gone through the roof and the average age of customers has lowered by 20 odd years. But no on a serious note, why do we feel these people, yes they are people like you and me whether they be athletes, celebrities, the kid who walks your dog or your mum and dad aren’t capable of making monumental mistakes?

Have we become that much of a politically correct society that anything deemed questionable should come with a warning label stating you will be judged and looked down on for all eternity should you proceed. We all love social media but has anyone here read George Orwell’s classic 1984? Well yeah it’s happening people, no matter what you do, where you are, big brother is always watching. Except in our case big brother just happens to be every man and his dog with a smartphone.

I feel for parents these days, it must be tough, your child can be an absolute arsehole and you can’t even give them a little smack to bring them into line without the fear of being branded with the child abuse tag, whilst they continue to runaround terrorising the neighbourhood. Anyways bringing things back on track…

In the case of our cricketers it just so happened to be a curious cameraman trying to confirm whether rumours of Cameron Bancroft’s nickname Donkey were true or not. I’m still questioning why he lingered so long on Cam’s crotch and apparently so is his wife. So our captain does the right thing and falls on the sword, he takes his VC along with him and the perpetrator of the whole event just so happens to get less time in exile than both of them.

Maybe it just that we (Society) thought our cricketers, not all just our Australian team were above such acts. We are Australia we don’t need to cheat, we have some of the best players in the world. I mean we know our league boys like to pee into their own mouths and defecate in pot plants or pretend to have sex with dogs and cause a downright ruckuss. While our AFL boys just like the marching powder a little too much and try swimming across the Swan river in an attempt to escape the police and the union guys well they are just private school pest who haven’t grown up. But our cricketers no they are saints, they are the good boys of aussie sport, they don’t have guys who try to set records for the most amount of beers drank on a flight between Australia and England or drug test that come back positive for banned substances. No they are the darlings of Australian sport…

No they are not, if you’ve read some of the books published by former cricketing greats they were just as bad as everyone else. They had fun, they were successful and we loved them for it. The difference being back then we loved a jokester and we enjoyed the on and off field antics of our sportsmen. Nowadays they need to be setting a good example for the kids who sit glued to their ipads or phones from the time they come out of the womb. As they are so impressionable. Put down the bloody technology, go outside and use your damn imagination to come up with something to do.

The facts of the matter are that scandals, like gossip around the water cooler at lunchtime spreads like wildfire. For those in media it also helps to sell news. We make a mountain out of a molehill because it sells papers or in this case sandpaper. Nobody’s infallible, we all make mistakes, we all do things that can be deemed questionable, the difference is we are not in spotlight for the entirety of our professional lives like our athletes. Most people learn from their mistakes and take the second chances they are given with both hands. In the case of some of the Rugby League players they are quite slow at learning that a second chance is a gift don’t be stupid. One concussion too many could be blamed but then again do we really think they are the smartest people?.

As for our three cricketers in exile on the Northern Beaches of NSW in their million dollar plus mansions. They now have plenty of time to lay on the beach counting their cash, while they think about what they have done. I for one wouldn’t mind being put in that naughty corner. Only time will tell whether it has been a valuable lesson for these three lads and whether the Australian community wish to bring them in from the wilderness. One thing is for sure we won’t be winning a lot of games over the next 12 months and Cricket Australia will have every sandpaper company knocking on their door with offers of endorsements.

Australia is no stranger to a sporting scandal from fingers up bums to salary cap cheats to sleeping with your teammates wife. It’s safe to say that when it comes to sport it doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from. At some point the elation, excitement and thrill that comes from winning could drive you to do something stupid just to get that rush, that feeling one more time. As Australian’s we might feel we often dominate on the field but we are all susceptible to one thing. Being human and being human we will all make mistakes at some point in our lives..

I must have been sleeping for a lot of the last few years, sport has eradicated the larrikins, hollywood has outed the perverted and the politicians just keep racking up the frequent flyer points on the way to see there lovers and somewhere along the way the Emily seabomb became a term of endearment amongst friends or a joke by the northern territory tourism office to bring in unsuspecting travellers to the crocodile infested waters of Darwin.

So to all those aspiring athletes out there, don’t do anything stupid around anyone with a phone, camera or any piece of technology and if you need to put yourself on a social media ban in case you are inclined to say something, or do something that may upset someone because we all know someone will get offend in our modern PC Society. Actually if i was a professional athlete my advice would be unless you are competing just stay at home and become a hermit. People can’t even go to the shops in their ugg boots anymore without someone scoffing and judging them or getting upset at the sheep that was slaughtered for your feet to be comfortable warm.

In some ways living in a politically correct society is inspiring and refreshing. The LGBT and I am sure I am missing some letters in their community can now legally marry. Campaigns like MeeToo are empowering women to speak out about sexually harassment and assualt, R U Ok empowers all of us who are struggling to speak and yet we all feel we need to judge and look down on not only those in the spotlight but those around us who do something wrong. We don’t even try to understand why or let them explain we just come down on them like a ton of bricks.

Until next time, be good, be nice and try to be a little less judgemental of our overpaid athletes 😉 Thanks for reading, The team at A Mind of its Own…

Boogie Fever…

Where’s my dancing socks, cause me and the boys are going for a boogie. Two blogs in one week! How lucky are you guys! I couldn’t miss the opportunity to talk you all through the opening ceremony. With the games now in full flight it was only fitting the team at A Mind of its Own reviewed the tragic events of the night.

Toted to be the best opening ceremony ever to be held in Australia the Commonwealth Games did not disappoint. Ah well it did… Let’s be honest I wasn’t the only person sitting there in the first five minutes ashamed to be an Australian and questioning whether I was watching the opening ceremony or sitting in a year eight geography lesson. That being said it was visually stunning and I hope sitting in the stands at Carrara Stadium that those lucky enough to have $495 to waste on a ticket could see the same thing I watching from the comfort of my home with a cold, full strength beer.

The continuation of cringe worthy incidents that will only further shame the backwards and somewhat Bogan ways of the Gold Coast kept coming throughout the evening. With the Marathon not scheduled for a few days viewers can rest assured they didn’t miss anything too spectacular as they dozed off during the 4 hours of mind numbing and often confusing performances. Ok they did miss a few things.

The opening ceremony was doomed from the start, the first bad omen happened when tickets were printed with the wrong day. Not only were they printed but several hundred were sent out to proud recipients before this error was realised. This was then followed by yet another beautiful blunder in the official program when England was listed as an African nation. I’m sure our once masters would have been please to be placed amongst one of their colonies with which they gathered slave labour before distributing it throughout the world.

But we weren’t done just yet, the opening skit took us to the beautiful beaches of the Gold Coast where 3 surfers questioned whether aliens existed. Like most of the nation and the millions of viewers who had tuned in around the globe this complete and utter rubbish left me scratching my head wondering what in fact it had to do with the games. From there we were transported to our year eight geography class. Only to have Migaloo destroy Australia. And here I was thinking we’d be invaded by China or at least nuked by the North Koreans but no our nation is squashed by a white humpback whale. Safe to say we are not off to a good start and many of us are still shaking our heads and cringing in embarrassment as our nation is showcased around the globe.

Christina Anu comes on next and lip syncs her way through ‘My Island Home’ while getting up her ten thousand steps for the day. Once this is done we finally see some decent performances as the true owners of this land break out the didgeridoo and showcase their culture for our guest. We probably should have started with this traditional performance, half the audience might still be awake at this point. I bet right about now those people in the stands are starting to think there $400 odd dollars were best spent elsewhere. Some poor chick loses her bikini bottoms in the middle of gold coast local Ricki-Lee’s performance and with 100 of towels and performers around her you’d think someone would help the poor girl out. Nope she’s left to fend for herself as investigations are launched into what will now be known as arsegate.

Both verses of the National anthem were sung leaving many to mumble their way through the second verse as a lot of Australian found out for the first time in their lives that our anthem is a lot longer than what they thought. If it wasn’t so late at night I am sure many a child would have rocked up to school this morning questioning their teachers why they hadn’t been taught about the second verse. Oh that’s right it’s Australian to shorten everything. Why didn’t we just sing the usual short version. Then again if we had of done that we wouldn’t of got to see families in the Rydges pool laying on pool noodles or the local tradies down the pub after a hard days yakka.

We finally get to the team’s themselves only for us to realise there are a crap load of nation’s to get through and that Britain was once a powerhouse of this world. Shame they didn’t think of that before Brexit. Scotland enters first and the nation has a good laugh when Channel Seven commentator Tamsyn Lewis says to no one in particular “You always love it when the Scots come out in their kilts, don’t you?”

So we get through all the nation’s and again have a laugh once more laugh when Tonga walks out to ‘I touch myself’ pretty sure they would of had no idea, nor what the song was about. The Aussie finally emerge led by Captain Courageous himself Mark Knowles. He leads from the front for part of a lap before disappearing into the pack to hangout with rest of the athletes as they slow wave to the 35,000 strong crowd in attendance.

I don’t know whether it was before or during the teams coming out that we lost Camilla the duchess of somewhere, let’s just call her Charles’s shag. It didn’t help that after all the team’s were finally in the stadium that the honorable Peter Beattie rabbited on. If I was Camilla’s shoes I would have been reading Ok Magazine as well to see who wore it better between Megan Markle and Kate Middleton.

While all this is going on we are still waiting for the baton to make its way to the ceremony, the somewhat Dyson looking stick has us all wondering how long it will be before Dyson lodge a patent suit against the Commonwealth Games Committee for ripping off one of their products. The relay runner’s might have appreciated it a little more if they had of got the cool air technology functioning before the event. Finally the golden girl of the pool enters the stadium with the Queen’s Dyson in hand, Susie O’Neill then proceeds to do the slowest lap in the history of the commonwealth games of the stadium before handing it over to some giant girl. Oh wait that’s former Australian netball captain Liz Ellis for all those playing at home.

The Queens Dyson is then handed over, where a couple of oldies try to open it while looking for the instruction manual to get Lizzy’s message out only to have a kid pop out of nowhere to show them how it’s done. Again another product that it not user-friendly unless you are a millennial or younger. Not sure why Lizzy couldn’t have just given the message to Charles and Camilla but I guess tradition is tradition and the producer did need to fill another couple of minutes.

By now even the athletes are fading fast, the canteen has run out of beer, hot chips and meat pies and all the spectators are not looking forward to getting back to their cars only to discover some derelict from the back of Nerang has cashed in on all these cars parked in the one place and scores himself a couple of fist fulls of assorted change and you’re having to pay for a new window. The ad almost writes itself for MasterCard, Opening ceremony ticket $495, new car window $400, seeing that poor girls bum live before it’s beamed around the globe = priceless.

Unfortunately folks we are still not done yet, with the games now officially open, we better have some more song and dance and who better than Delta Goodrem to come out fitting in perfect to the gold coast scene as she prance’s around Carrara Stadium without and shoes. We can forgive baton bearer Damien Ryder he was at least running on the beach for most part of his relay but Delta what’s your excuse? We thought you were better than that. Surrounded by big burly blokes for all the ladies out there thinking this is what your typical gold coast male looks like, i hate to be the bearer of bad news those were Delta’s dancers.

Are we done? I think we are finally done, i think we’ve come to an end and the athletes can head back to the village and pump the stilnox, EPO and whatever other performance enhancing drugs they dispose of in the bins around the village. The spectators can jump back on the buses to sit in traffic for hours on end and those of us at home we can retire to our beds to wish it all away as though it was a bad dream.

Safe to say that this was not our best effort and it will be undoubtedly remembered for bare bums, weird skits, geography lessons, lip syncing, no shoes, boring the royals and down right fuck ups. Sportsbet are actually taking bets and I kid you not as to what the next screw up of the games will be.

If you are venturing out to watch some of the events, or sitting in the comfort of your own home with a cold frothy enjoy and until next time. It can only get better from here.

A Mind of Its Own…