Coffees for Closers…

They say it’s not over until the fat lady sings… In some regards who ever first said this was extremely correct. The only problem is that it’s now politically incorrect to be on the lookout for fat ladies to sing so you can make sure it really is over or to bring up people’s body image, actually we have no idea what is and isn’t correct these days, everyone is becoming rather a little too precious. Actually a fat lady singing might lighten the mood in certain situations. Break ups and other such often traumatic events might just become a little easier if there was a heavyset lady belting out a tune to make you smile or at least grimace. Imagine having to go to court to finalise your divorce and at the back of the room a lady just starts banging out ‘Another one bites the dust’ by the Bee-gees.

The team at A Mind of Its Own would certainly find it more than a little amusing. So back to Fat Ladies singing and it not being over till they do. How does this relate to this weeks blog well it ties in to belief, trust and preparation. You often hear sports coaches telling their athletes to trust in the preparation, believe in the process and have faith your teammates. Well have we got an inspirational story for you. You thought Herman Boon taking TC Williams High school to their first AAA Championship despite all the odds and obstacles they had to overcome not only as a team but as a town divided by race. It showed what believing in a process or in those around you can do or perhaps Miracle on ice is more fitting for this story but either way belief is a strong and powerful tool.

So to tell this story we first need to take you on a journey. The journey starts with a tour of the Australian coastline to a little seaside village in the Northern Rivers of New South Wales. This picturesque seaside town close to the border of Queensland and on the doorstep to the iconic Gold Coast has produced a lot of great athletes over the years. Like many coastal cities in NSW and QLD it is predominantly a rugby league town with the local team the Cudgen Clowns playing in the who cares cup each week against every other who cares cup team. What many people don’t know is that it has a great field hockey history that rich with Australian Representatives including an Olympic Gold Medalist. It is a family town and more than that it is a family club with generations of the same families having donned the Green, White and black in the hunt for victory. The other thing you might not know, is that while the team here at A Mind of Its Own are great at writing and making your laugh each week, we all dabble, participate, turn up, warm the bench or watch hockey games each weekend and have done so since we were little. When we say little we are talking like 11ish but still little enough not to know any better.

And so it was that a Mind of Its Own crew joined Kingscliff Hockey Club Men’s division one on their road to a premiership for the twenty eighteen season. It would be a long season that would not be without some stumbles, falls and hurdles along the way. We’ve often wondered what people think when they see the boys from Kingscliff turn up to the Labrador hockey grounds. An eclectic mix of potato farmers, surf bums, wanna be golf hacks and blue collar professionals. As individuals they each have something to offer to the team from their never funny jokes, to the bloke with the big teeth that just never shuts up. As a team they have bonded and learnt to trust in each other and trust in the preparation and process. A family away from family for some and a great bunch of blokes for others, who are proud to call each other mate.

Throughout the season they proved time and time again that belief in self and belief in each other along with trust in their preparation for each game was paramount but it would shine the brightest in the only match that truly counted throughout the season. With a regular season that consisted of one loss and two draws amongst their many wins, there was no doubt from the Stingers as they affectionately known around the club would be there on the fateful day in September. Having prepared with a solid preseason and lots of sessions at the Leagues Club or Chinderah Pub most of the team were fit and raring to go from day one. From the old heads to the next generation round after round the team poured their heart and soul into every game.

So come finals time it was no surprise that there was a little disappointment from the playing group when they lost their first semi to the poodles and didn’t go straight through to the final instead they took the long route to September and had to play in a major semi final to go through. In the end securing top spot was a good thing allowing the boys from the beach and bush a second bite at a well deserved cherry. With another show of domination the team showed their strength and waltzed through to the big dance against some labradoodles.

September the 8th will forever go down in Kingscliff Hockey Club history as a day to be remembered. It was a day in which belief in a team, belief in the process to get them there and belief in self will forever be etched in the history books or at least the players instagram, twitter and facebook feeds. Having lost to the poodles two weeks earlier the Stingers were out for revenge. Piling on the bus for the long journey up the motorway to Labrador Hockey Complex the air was full of nervous energy and excitement and the sweet smell of hops wafting from those not playing at the back of the bus. Each player lost in their own thoughts and feelings as they explored the what ifs to come. Many of them playing the game over and over in their heads before they’d even stepped out on the field.

The hours ticked by as they waited patiently watching on as other teams took the field before them. Game after game, team after team, winners and losers decided in the matter of minutes. Heroes and villains decided as teams battled to take home the coveted prize. Seventy minutes was all that stood between glory or sadness until the following season when redemption could be sought. Finally the time came for the Stingers to prepare for battle, like warriors of the past marching out to meet an opposing army they donned their armour only it wasn’t in the form of chainmail or armour plating but in the form of plastic shin pads and rubber mouthguards. Sitting there the team listened to the coach layout the plan for one last time that seasong.

Nothing had changed from the first time the coach had written on board, plan would remain the same. The team trusted in their preparation knowing that the rest would take care of itself. The warm up was the same as it had been all year. They ensured they were warm and the keeper was prepared as best he could be. One last little pep talk from the captain and the team lined up to take the field. Seventy minutes left in what had already been a season to be proud of. Seventy minutes standing between them and the outcome they had chased all season.

The whistle sounded in what would be a fierce and fast first half of hockey. The majority of play was in Kingscliff’s attacking half, as they continued to apply attacking pressure earning several attacking corners (For those playing at home its where you get a shot from the top of the circle) The labradoodles dam wall however was holding strong. Unfortunately like all things in sport often things just don’t go your way at times. The poodles managed to net two in quick succession and taking the lead into half two nil up. With the second half in full flow the game was still hanging in the balance almost midway through the second half before a mistake made my an official that would tip the game further in the poodles favour.

At three nil down with only seventeen minutes remaining until full time in the match a lot of people had probably started to write the boys from Kingscliff off. We wouldn’t blame them either, the KHC boys had plenty of chances up front to get themselves back in the game. Now going back to the beginning of this blog where we discussed belief in the process, believe in each other and trust that it’s never over until the fat lady sings. Well after weathering the continued poodle assaults, the dam wall finally burst down the other end. One then two and finally the third came on the cusp of the of the game finishing. As the final whistle for the half blew the team’s belief and trust in the preparation had never waivered.

Going into extra time golden goal the belief in the groups ability and the ability to finish what had started back in March was never in doubt. The play that had the fat lady singing ‘we are the champions’ saw the ball shifted from one side of the pitch to the other, passed down the line and slapped towards the circle as the clock ticked past the first minute of extra time. The ball bobbled into the circle finding a Kingscliff stick and a brilliant piece of individual skill sealed the deal. Like all good stories and movies this one had a happy ending. The belief that had been with the team from Kingscliff from the beginning of there season had got them through and saw them take the premiership four goals to three in extra time.

Elation and excitement buzzed around the ground as players ran in from all directions to find a time mate. Players danced and hugged each other as they celebrated the win, they had danced their way into the history books.The boys from the Northern Rivers had completed the perfect comeback in the game that mattered most of all. It just goes to show what believing in something or someone can do. From the team at a Mind of Its Own we hope you have a great week, dream big and never stop believing…

Limelight…

What a week it has been, we’ve been jetting about this amazing land of ours for our job that actually pays the bills. Adelaide and Canberra have felt the presence of the Mind of Its Own team this week in our travels. We’ve tasted the wines of South Australia and got to hang out in the halls of parliament with some of the MP’s. OK it wasn’t the halls but the flight from Canberra to Sydney on our way back to god’s country. Ah that would be Northern New South Wales. OK, OK enough fibs we caught a glimpse of them from cattle class where we barely had any room to move and our knees were up around our ears. Oh and not to mention our beers were overpriced for the portion size.

We did however get to spend sometime at the War Memorial checking out there new exhibit ‘From the Shadows’ focusing on Australia’s special forces past and present. We can safely say it was a very humbling experience walking the halls of the memorial dedicated to the men and women who have fought to protect our country. Ok so maybe not so much protecting our shores, there was a brief period where Japan was knocking on our doorstep during world war two but for the most part we have always gone to war on behalf of the crown or to support our American brothers across the sea.

So after our visit to the nation’s capital and the city of churches with exhausted minds and tired bodies we returned to our place of peace to enjoy some time away from the office. Hence why your weekly edition is so late. Apologies to our supporters, we may be late but we have finally got here for you. So this week we wanted to look at Anxiety and sport particularly with finals just around the corner across multiple sporting codes. From our elite athletes to our amateur sports men and woman, being a part of a finals campaign is something that whilst exciting can often become very overwhelming.

Whilst athletes at the professional level will have access to sports psychologists, your everyday joe playing in their local competition during finals time does not. Often when it comes to big games, whether it be semi finals or a grand final it can be overwhelming for people who have never experienced the pressure that come with a finals campaign. Even those who have played finals year in year out can still experience pre-finals jitters. Speaking from experience we know that it can be an anxious time as you wait for your game to start.

More often than not athletes will play the game over and over in their heads before they’ve even stepped on the field or court. The anxiety that builds up before a game can see even the best of athletes run their race before it starts. Within sport there are two main types of anxiety in Sport, trait anxiety and state anxiety.

Trait anxiety is more general and enduring, suggesting a predisposition to anxiety in all areas of life, not just in sport where as state anxiety is transient and specific only to the particular situation an athlete finds themselves in.

They display themselves differently in each individual. From the athlete that spews before each match to the basketballer on the free throw line whose mind is his greatest obstacle. In training they make every single shot, never miss, but during the game they struggle to overcome the anxiety that builds every time their feet touch that line.

So to our amateur athletes across the country experiencing any of the following symptoms just remember that it is a natural to feel these things and the best way to overcome it all is to discuss it with coaches and teammates. Some of the symptoms you may feel could include the following…

  • Cognitive symptoms relate to thought processes, including fear, indecision, poor concentration, loss of confidence and defeatist self-talk.
  • Somatic (physical) symptoms include muscular tension, clammy hands and feet, increased heart rate, sweating and butterflies in the stomach.
  • Behavioral symptoms relate to patterns of behavior, including inhibited posture, fingernail biting, avoidance of eye contact and uncharacteristic displays of introverted or extroverted behavior.

Here at a Mind of Its Own, we’d like to say, good luck to all those participating in the big dance throughout September. And for those that aren’t there is some quality viewing as all! The football codes are entering finals time, netball oh wait that’s done the Sunshine Coast Lighting took that title, there’s some golf tournaments, some over paid tennis players running a court, table tennis tournaments from south-east asia and home-grown lawn bowls finals and all your other favourite sport can be found across the channels you pay for with your fox sports package.

Remember why you started to play the game and remember to be nice to those that officiate it. But most of all have fun out there whether you play at the elite level or amateur so you can taste those sweet victory beers without the scrutiny of the media or your sponsors. It’s all about the enjoyment and we all make mistakes. So until the next time we grace your screen, peace out and enjoy September…

Abandon Ship or Abandon All Hope…

Like discovering a new planet or species of animal, all discoveries require research, so for this week’s episode the team at A Mind of Its Own pulled on their gym shorts donned their singlets that barely cover the bulging beer bellies and laced up our best pairs of dunlop volleys in order to head out and get some much needed exercise. Like a bunch of clowns we jumped into the Tarago and headed off into the Sun, towards the surf and sand, the glitz and glamour of Australia’s home of the cashed up bogan. Welcome to Ipswich!!! Just kidding we are back again on the gold coast looking like a 70’s NBA team with way too much skin showing for middle aged white males.

First of all if you are searching for a McDonalds, KFC and Hungry Jacks what you may have noticed is there is pretty much one on every major street corner. What you might have also noticed is gym’s have become the health junkies fast food franchise. We’d do the maths and give you the average amount of gyms per suburb but it’s just passed whiskey o’clock and our brains only seem to work between the hours of 9 to 5 without the aid of alcohol to drive our cognitive patterns. If it’s after 5pm our filter packs up for the day, our sense of humour comes home to increase the hilarity and our caution to the wind disappears altogether like last nights vindaloo down the dunny in the wee hours of the morning.

Like Roxanne putting on her red light, the gyms are lit up for all to see. There bright advertising invites you to come inside and transform from flab to fab. The reception is generally manned by a beautiful person to show you exactly what can happen if you too come in and spend time sitting in other people’s sweat after they forget to wipe down the machines. As we watched the hard earned pineapples leave our wallet and fly across the counter into the male models chiselled hands, a row of pearly whites flashed a knowing look our way. We began to wonder what drives people to come to these testosterone filled, bloated ego dens. We half expected to walk into the changerooms and transport into an American football locker room with blokes flicking each other with towels and the coach handing out steroid injections.

We’d entered the belly of the beast, there was no turning back now. We needed to soldier on and stop making excuses as our team of unwilling beer guzzlers was lead up stairs to the gym floor. With our tails between our legs we’d have just as soon as run back down the stairs and all the way to the safety of the NSW border then be in this hell. We’d entered a land never seen before… Everywhere we looked, we saw people with no necks and ladies with bigger guns than some of the Australian Navy’s warships. Mirrors adorned the walls with people staring at themselves as they ensure there form was correct. Form you ask? So did we after we questioned how vain all these people were.

Have you ever wondered why a lot of people just refuse to go to the gym these days? Well at a mind of its own we think we’ve found the answer. Enter any gym around Australia… First of all if we got you there you’ve no doubt noticed all the mirrors, what else have you noticed? It’s the dudes with tattoo sleeves bulging muscles, skinning legs and no necks right? Or the older ladies with bolt ons, makeup that looks like its been applied with there tradie husbands trowel and the orange glow of their skin? Or is it the looks you keep getting everytime you go to use a machine that one of the roided up egos has been alternating between when he or she is not staring at themselves in the mirror wondering how they’ll go this saturday night trying to pick up. And some of these people could quite literally pick up other people and throw them around a room in a fit of aggressive passion.

Like crotchety old men we are pushed towards a bench and told to lift some weights. The term “Do you even lift” gets thrown around a little too much and the muscle men in front of the mirror laugh and shake their heads as we strain to get the bar and the meager 5kgs on either end moving in a repetitive nature that the trainer is happy with. By now he is starting to lose his patience with our un-coordinated lack of ability to do anything that resembles bench press. Finally though he wins through and like true professionals we find the exercise for us.

Who knew bicep curls and drinking were so closely related. As we lifted heavier and heavier pretending we were lifting stiens of Germany’s heaviest, sweetest ales to our mouths. The hour session continues to drag out as we move from station to station still perplexed by how serious people are taking their workouts. There are guys throwing around weights channelling their inner Arnie, young ladies who have almost done an hour of nothing but squats as they work their glutes into a Kim Kardashian frenzy for the perfect bum.

Triangles flex in front of the mirrors forgetting leg day for the 100th session in a row. There skinny little legs starting to bow at the strain of carrying around there large muscled upper bodies. The serious gym goers grunt out a session, sweating as they push themselves harder and harder through each exercise while the plastics do just enough to keep there figure and slight tone while trying to wear as little as possible to attract looks from all around. The trainers laugh at their own jokes and talk about their weekends while pushing clients to breaking point. Creepy guys watch on as girls try to work out in peace, no wonder a lot of women go to Fernwood. And then there are the other guys. The ones who just want to maintain their fitness and do it without losing their dignity.

Finally done it’s like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, in this case it literally has, all those weighted lunges can’t be good for your knees, back and any other part of your body. That deep burn you keep hearing about isn’t so deep as you feel it begin to radiate through your entire body like an oil slick spreading from a crashed tanker. Walking out feeling like we’d been run over by Optimus Prime and the entire Autobots entourage. The pain pain was only going to get worse as we soon discovered. Two days later… enter DOM no not a bloke named Dom who we had a disagreement with whilst at the gym sitting in his sweat but delayed onset muscles soreness or DOMS. It’s the pits and we are starting to see why people hate the gym.

Ok so the gym might not be for everyone, or more importantly gyms on the Gold Coast might not be for everyone. If you like looking at yourself in the mirror, have ridiculous tattoos, drive a car like your part of the fast n furious crew, have no neck and think you are super good looking then the gold coast gym scene is definitely for you. If you want to go and work out without having to deal with all this we suggest you do during the day before lunch or after lunch before work finishes. Or you could always just install your own home gym and be done with the machine hogs.

As we sneak away from yet another session in the gym where our arms and legs are burning and our egos are feeling a little shattered. We hope you’ve enjoyed this week’s installment of a mind of its own, no roid rage was endured or encounter in the making of this blog. We hope we haven’t offended any gym frequenters in our take on Gold Coast gyms. If we have you’ll get over it before the next set is done. For another week it’s over and out and from the team at A Mind of Its Own, you do you champ.

Call Come Running…

Another week, another blog and another point of view from the team here at A Mind of Its Own. Over the last couple of weeks we’ve been fortunate enough that topics have just been falling into our lap as we sit at our desks and put on our thinking caps. It’s not always easy writing about something that will both capture your attention, insight some thought and allow us to have a little laugh as we tap out another blog.

Once we’ve got a topic in mind the piece pretty much writes itself, we pad it out with some statistics when they’re available or a joke or two at ourselves or the topic in which we’ve decided to entertain you with for the week. We try to stick to the point but often as with the title we drift off point and find ourselves on an interesting tangent, that may or may not have anything to with the post for the week. As always stick with us and we’ll get you their in there end even if we have to go around the round about a couple of times.

This week it was our professional athletes that provided us with the inspiration to hammer away at the keys of our retro Amiga 64’s along with a much-needed giggle. So with much further ado, we put on our fashion police badges, donned our best fedoras and shark skin suits to settle in and write this piece in style. We took to watching a lot of sport this week and I have to say it has led us to question the decision-making abilities of our elite sportsmen and women. As armchair coaches it always easy for us to see what they could have done better or question the decisions they make in the heat of the contest. But as fashion conscious armchair police and modern-day males we threw our hands in the air, scratched our heads and just wondered why.

As our analytical minds kicked into gear while watching a plethora of free to air sports, we began wondering how much adrenaline was pumping through the veins of these men and women, when they decided to get the arm sleeve tattoo that a toddler could have drawn better or the ridiculous looking bullseye at the small of their back. Then there’s the questionable haircuts, did they do those themselves because if they paid money for something anyone with a set of clippers could have done, I’d be asking for my money back and quick smart. Do professional athletes feel terrible tattoos make them better? Or is it all that money they are paid to play a sport there forefathers played for free, that makes them make such terrible permanent choices?.

Now don’t get us wrong we aren’t saying tattoos are a bad thing or they are ugly that would be hypocritical in a big way. All we are saying is that the choice of tattoos by some, not all, of our professional athletes is a little concerning. Unlike a bumper sticker which disappears when you finally part ways with your hotted up Datsun 180B you’ve had since you got your license, unless you are willing to sit through a lot of expensive sessions where some lady in a white coat zapps you with lasers that could be used in a science fiction movie to evaporate aliens. Tattoos are for life, so you’d want to hope that what you decide to get inked has a lot of meaning to you and is something you want to keep.

It would be ok if it was just the tattoos but when you go the full package, the word knob comes to mind along with a few others that can’t be said in this forum. Tattoos all over your arms, a moustache that yes I would be proud of if i could grow it and a haircut that wasn’t even popular in the 70’s tell me that you’ve gone too far. Having a nice bright pair of boots, two full sleeve tattoos and shit haircut is not going to make you any better than you already are, how you look has no correlation to how gifted you are in the sporting arena if that were the case we’d be lining up our newborns to get a full sleeve and mullet haircut before they could even tie a pair of shoes let alone master their fine motor skills to kick a ball with pinpoint accuracy.

As we watch the AFL for another week the amount of bad tattoos floating around a single oval televised to the nation has us wondering what was going through a lot of these blokes minds. Flick over to the netball and more silly tattoos. Is it just me or tattoos the norm these days and people without them are the minority? It’s at this point we put in a call to mothers to ask if they’ve attempted to slap any sense into their children. Oh wait you can’t hit kids anymore that abuse no wonder the younger generation has no respect. My mother finally answers the phone after a couple of attempts only to want to talk about every other topic than the reason I called her to discuss whether or not she is happy or annoyed at the ink her son sports.

So with no help from my own mother, i thought about whether we should go out to social media and ask the public before deciding on the fact that it doesn’t really matter whether the public agree with us or not A Mind of Its Own is a platform for us to provoke thought and provide our own two cents to you the readers. It’s at times a living, breathing soapbox. So that being said and done we reach into the big book of Australian politician quotes to borrow one from the Ipswich instigator Pauline herself and ask someone to “Please explain?”.

Bad haircuts, terrible tattoos and poor choices at times leads me to think that perhaps while athletically gifted these men and women aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed. They can slice through a defensive line, look graceful and often majestic on their chosen sporting field but ask them to behave themselves on the drink or get a decent haircut and you may as well head to the local preschool where you would find some level-headed children who don’t know any better but would still make better choices. Talent, a massive paycheck and adorning fans does not give you carte blanche to try to set, start or even suggest fashion trends, advice. As people keep saying to me, stick to what you are good at and leave what you aren’t to the professionals. So that being said and done, we’ll leave fashion, sporting and the majority of tips that can be provided to those in the know and we’ll just stick to writing about it and stirring the proverbial pot.

For the generations of aspiring youngster to come, we hope that you can make some better decisions, if you aspire to be a professional athletes just remember you will be in the limelight your every move will be scrutinised both on and off the field, you will be on television and you will have little kids looking up to you so here’s a thought. Get a decent haircut, ensure your ink is something you really want and will cherish for life and if you find yourself in a compromising situation remember that everyone has a camera phone these days and as much as you think you can trust people there is always someone who will see the personal gain in selling you out.

So for another week, we draw a close to a chapter of A Mind of Its Own, one that has had us in stitches as we analyse and laugh at haircuts, tattoos and some of the best Moustache’s going around. For you though our readers, our dedicated and willing participants, It’s one of those weeks where you’re lucky enough to receive not one but two blogs. If Tim Shaw was still working for Demtel I’m sure he’s throw you in a free set of steak knives. It’s a busy time in the world there is a lot happening. We are entering uncertain times and there is the ever-growing threat of a world once more at war. But every now and them a story comes along and warms our hearts. The second piece for the week is one such story.

So before we say too much, we’ve baited the hook, cast out our line and will leave you to hopefully swallow it, hook, line and sinker and have a read of our second piece this week. So from the Team at A Mind of Its Own, we thank you once again for spending some time with us. Having a read and sharing in our little often weird and wacky world. Until next time! Peace be the journey, cool runnings.

Slowdance on the inside…

Welcome to another installment of A Mind of its Own. This week we thought we’d throw on the whites head down the oval via a trip to the painting isle at Bunnings and rough up a few cricket balls before rolling the arm over to send down a barrage of half volleys, laughs and insights about the world around us.

It’s been the second biggest thing to hit the news in recent weeks only to be surpassed by the shambles of the Commonwealth Games opening ceremony that left us wondering how long it would be, before the woman responsible for Arsegate would be releasing a book titled My Crack, the story of the games unhidden shame.

Three men, one piece of sandpaper, a roughed up cricket ball and the scandal of the nation. Not since the infamous John Hopoate Incident in 2001 has a nation’s sporting world been rocked so heavily. There’s been the odd breach of the NRL’s salary cap (A new year another team) or the new round of AFL naked selfies but nothing that has brought a great sporting nation like ours to a halt like this has since John reached up and fingered several of his opponents anus’s.

As I sit in the office dual screens in front of me researching cricket’s current events it occurs to me that we need to just relax. What? I am relaxed you think to yourself and who is this guy to tell me to relax? I’m not talking about you the reader sitting there sipping your latte on a Wednesday morning while scrolling through our blog on the latest and greatest tablet or smartphone. I’m talking about society in general.

We place our heroes on pedestals like infallible gods only to become extremely enraged and upset with them when they make a mistake. Sports men and women seem to cop it just as much as anyone else. The only good thing to come out of the recent cricketing scandal is Bunnings profit margin for the first quarter of the year. In the last month alone sales of sandpaper have gone through the roof and the average age of customers has lowered by 20 odd years. But no on a serious note, why do we feel these people, yes they are people like you and me whether they be athletes, celebrities, the kid who walks your dog or your mum and dad aren’t capable of making monumental mistakes?

Have we become that much of a politically correct society that anything deemed questionable should come with a warning label stating you will be judged and looked down on for all eternity should you proceed. We all love social media but has anyone here read George Orwell’s classic 1984? Well yeah it’s happening people, no matter what you do, where you are, big brother is always watching. Except in our case big brother just happens to be every man and his dog with a smartphone.

I feel for parents these days, it must be tough, your child can be an absolute arsehole and you can’t even give them a little smack to bring them into line without the fear of being branded with the child abuse tag, whilst they continue to runaround terrorising the neighbourhood. Anyways bringing things back on track…

In the case of our cricketers it just so happened to be a curious cameraman trying to confirm whether rumours of Cameron Bancroft’s nickname Donkey were true or not. I’m still questioning why he lingered so long on Cam’s crotch and apparently so is his wife. So our captain does the right thing and falls on the sword, he takes his VC along with him and the perpetrator of the whole event just so happens to get less time in exile than both of them.

Maybe it just that we (Society) thought our cricketers, not all just our Australian team were above such acts. We are Australia we don’t need to cheat, we have some of the best players in the world. I mean we know our league boys like to pee into their own mouths and defecate in pot plants or pretend to have sex with dogs and cause a downright ruckuss. While our AFL boys just like the marching powder a little too much and try swimming across the Swan river in an attempt to escape the police and the union guys well they are just private school pest who haven’t grown up. But our cricketers no they are saints, they are the good boys of aussie sport, they don’t have guys who try to set records for the most amount of beers drank on a flight between Australia and England or drug test that come back positive for banned substances. No they are the darlings of Australian sport…

No they are not, if you’ve read some of the books published by former cricketing greats they were just as bad as everyone else. They had fun, they were successful and we loved them for it. The difference being back then we loved a jokester and we enjoyed the on and off field antics of our sportsmen. Nowadays they need to be setting a good example for the kids who sit glued to their ipads or phones from the time they come out of the womb. As they are so impressionable. Put down the bloody technology, go outside and use your damn imagination to come up with something to do.

The facts of the matter are that scandals, like gossip around the water cooler at lunchtime spreads like wildfire. For those in media it also helps to sell news. We make a mountain out of a molehill because it sells papers or in this case sandpaper. Nobody’s infallible, we all make mistakes, we all do things that can be deemed questionable, the difference is we are not in spotlight for the entirety of our professional lives like our athletes. Most people learn from their mistakes and take the second chances they are given with both hands. In the case of some of the Rugby League players they are quite slow at learning that a second chance is a gift don’t be stupid. One concussion too many could be blamed but then again do we really think they are the smartest people?.

As for our three cricketers in exile on the Northern Beaches of NSW in their million dollar plus mansions. They now have plenty of time to lay on the beach counting their cash, while they think about what they have done. I for one wouldn’t mind being put in that naughty corner. Only time will tell whether it has been a valuable lesson for these three lads and whether the Australian community wish to bring them in from the wilderness. One thing is for sure we won’t be winning a lot of games over the next 12 months and Cricket Australia will have every sandpaper company knocking on their door with offers of endorsements.

Australia is no stranger to a sporting scandal from fingers up bums to salary cap cheats to sleeping with your teammates wife. It’s safe to say that when it comes to sport it doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from. At some point the elation, excitement and thrill that comes from winning could drive you to do something stupid just to get that rush, that feeling one more time. As Australian’s we might feel we often dominate on the field but we are all susceptible to one thing. Being human and being human we will all make mistakes at some point in our lives..

I must have been sleeping for a lot of the last few years, sport has eradicated the larrikins, hollywood has outed the perverted and the politicians just keep racking up the frequent flyer points on the way to see there lovers and somewhere along the way the Emily seabomb became a term of endearment amongst friends or a joke by the northern territory tourism office to bring in unsuspecting travellers to the crocodile infested waters of Darwin.

So to all those aspiring athletes out there, don’t do anything stupid around anyone with a phone, camera or any piece of technology and if you need to put yourself on a social media ban in case you are inclined to say something, or do something that may upset someone because we all know someone will get offend in our modern PC Society. Actually if i was a professional athlete my advice would be unless you are competing just stay at home and become a hermit. People can’t even go to the shops in their ugg boots anymore without someone scoffing and judging them or getting upset at the sheep that was slaughtered for your feet to be comfortable warm.

In some ways living in a politically correct society is inspiring and refreshing. The LGBT and I am sure I am missing some letters in their community can now legally marry. Campaigns like MeeToo are empowering women to speak out about sexually harassment and assualt, R U Ok empowers all of us who are struggling to speak and yet we all feel we need to judge and look down on not only those in the spotlight but those around us who do something wrong. We don’t even try to understand why or let them explain we just come down on them like a ton of bricks.

Until next time, be good, be nice and try to be a little less judgemental of our overpaid athletes 😉 Thanks for reading, The team at A Mind of its Own…

Boogie Fever…

Where’s my dancing socks, cause me and the boys are going for a boogie. Two blogs in one week! How lucky are you guys! I couldn’t miss the opportunity to talk you all through the opening ceremony. With the games now in full flight it was only fitting the team at A Mind of its Own reviewed the tragic events of the night.

Toted to be the best opening ceremony ever to be held in Australia the Commonwealth Games did not disappoint. Ah well it did… Let’s be honest I wasn’t the only person sitting there in the first five minutes ashamed to be an Australian and questioning whether I was watching the opening ceremony or sitting in a year eight geography lesson. That being said it was visually stunning and I hope sitting in the stands at Carrara Stadium that those lucky enough to have $495 to waste on a ticket could see the same thing I watching from the comfort of my home with a cold, full strength beer.

The continuation of cringe worthy incidents that will only further shame the backwards and somewhat Bogan ways of the Gold Coast kept coming throughout the evening. With the Marathon not scheduled for a few days viewers can rest assured they didn’t miss anything too spectacular as they dozed off during the 4 hours of mind numbing and often confusing performances. Ok they did miss a few things.

The opening ceremony was doomed from the start, the first bad omen happened when tickets were printed with the wrong day. Not only were they printed but several hundred were sent out to proud recipients before this error was realised. This was then followed by yet another beautiful blunder in the official program when England was listed as an African nation. I’m sure our once masters would have been please to be placed amongst one of their colonies with which they gathered slave labour before distributing it throughout the world.

But we weren’t done just yet, the opening skit took us to the beautiful beaches of the Gold Coast where 3 surfers questioned whether aliens existed. Like most of the nation and the millions of viewers who had tuned in around the globe this complete and utter rubbish left me scratching my head wondering what in fact it had to do with the games. From there we were transported to our year eight geography class. Only to have Migaloo destroy Australia. And here I was thinking we’d be invaded by China or at least nuked by the North Koreans but no our nation is squashed by a white humpback whale. Safe to say we are not off to a good start and many of us are still shaking our heads and cringing in embarrassment as our nation is showcased around the globe.

Christina Anu comes on next and lip syncs her way through ‘My Island Home’ while getting up her ten thousand steps for the day. Once this is done we finally see some decent performances as the true owners of this land break out the didgeridoo and showcase their culture for our guest. We probably should have started with this traditional performance, half the audience might still be awake at this point. I bet right about now those people in the stands are starting to think there $400 odd dollars were best spent elsewhere. Some poor chick loses her bikini bottoms in the middle of gold coast local Ricki-Lee’s performance and with 100 of towels and performers around her you’d think someone would help the poor girl out. Nope she’s left to fend for herself as investigations are launched into what will now be known as arsegate.

Both verses of the National anthem were sung leaving many to mumble their way through the second verse as a lot of Australian found out for the first time in their lives that our anthem is a lot longer than what they thought. If it wasn’t so late at night I am sure many a child would have rocked up to school this morning questioning their teachers why they hadn’t been taught about the second verse. Oh that’s right it’s Australian to shorten everything. Why didn’t we just sing the usual short version. Then again if we had of done that we wouldn’t of got to see families in the Rydges pool laying on pool noodles or the local tradies down the pub after a hard days yakka.

We finally get to the team’s themselves only for us to realise there are a crap load of nation’s to get through and that Britain was once a powerhouse of this world. Shame they didn’t think of that before Brexit. Scotland enters first and the nation has a good laugh when Channel Seven commentator Tamsyn Lewis says to no one in particular “You always love it when the Scots come out in their kilts, don’t you?”

So we get through all the nation’s and again have a laugh once more laugh when Tonga walks out to ‘I touch myself’ pretty sure they would of had no idea, nor what the song was about. The Aussie finally emerge led by Captain Courageous himself Mark Knowles. He leads from the front for part of a lap before disappearing into the pack to hangout with rest of the athletes as they slow wave to the 35,000 strong crowd in attendance.

I don’t know whether it was before or during the teams coming out that we lost Camilla the duchess of somewhere, let’s just call her Charles’s shag. It didn’t help that after all the team’s were finally in the stadium that the honorable Peter Beattie rabbited on. If I was Camilla’s shoes I would have been reading Ok Magazine as well to see who wore it better between Megan Markle and Kate Middleton.

While all this is going on we are still waiting for the baton to make its way to the ceremony, the somewhat Dyson looking stick has us all wondering how long it will be before Dyson lodge a patent suit against the Commonwealth Games Committee for ripping off one of their products. The relay runner’s might have appreciated it a little more if they had of got the cool air technology functioning before the event. Finally the golden girl of the pool enters the stadium with the Queen’s Dyson in hand, Susie O’Neill then proceeds to do the slowest lap in the history of the commonwealth games of the stadium before handing it over to some giant girl. Oh wait that’s former Australian netball captain Liz Ellis for all those playing at home.

The Queens Dyson is then handed over, where a couple of oldies try to open it while looking for the instruction manual to get Lizzy’s message out only to have a kid pop out of nowhere to show them how it’s done. Again another product that it not user-friendly unless you are a millennial or younger. Not sure why Lizzy couldn’t have just given the message to Charles and Camilla but I guess tradition is tradition and the producer did need to fill another couple of minutes.

By now even the athletes are fading fast, the canteen has run out of beer, hot chips and meat pies and all the spectators are not looking forward to getting back to their cars only to discover some derelict from the back of Nerang has cashed in on all these cars parked in the one place and scores himself a couple of fist fulls of assorted change and you’re having to pay for a new window. The ad almost writes itself for MasterCard, Opening ceremony ticket $495, new car window $400, seeing that poor girls bum live before it’s beamed around the globe = priceless.

Unfortunately folks we are still not done yet, with the games now officially open, we better have some more song and dance and who better than Delta Goodrem to come out fitting in perfect to the gold coast scene as she prance’s around Carrara Stadium without and shoes. We can forgive baton bearer Damien Ryder he was at least running on the beach for most part of his relay but Delta what’s your excuse? We thought you were better than that. Surrounded by big burly blokes for all the ladies out there thinking this is what your typical gold coast male looks like, i hate to be the bearer of bad news those were Delta’s dancers.

Are we done? I think we are finally done, i think we’ve come to an end and the athletes can head back to the village and pump the stilnox, EPO and whatever other performance enhancing drugs they dispose of in the bins around the village. The spectators can jump back on the buses to sit in traffic for hours on end and those of us at home we can retire to our beds to wish it all away as though it was a bad dream.

Safe to say that this was not our best effort and it will be undoubtedly remembered for bare bums, weird skits, geography lessons, lip syncing, no shoes, boring the royals and down right fuck ups. Sportsbet are actually taking bets and I kid you not as to what the next screw up of the games will be.

If you are venturing out to watch some of the events, or sitting in the comfort of your own home with a cold frothy enjoy and until next time. It can only get better from here.

A Mind of Its Own…

The Final Countdown…

No this isn’t another blog about music or the band Europe who created a classic in The Final Countdown. Finally something magical is coming to the Gold Coast and no it’s not another plastic surgeon, professional footballer who’ll hang around for a season or another attempt at creating a professional sporting team who will only ever be mid table finishers at best.

With only four days to go before the biggest event to come to the Gold Coast since star-dust circus graced the shores for Burleigh beach. The team (A guy sitting behind his laptop all on his own) here at A Mind of it’s Own thought we should get into the Games spirit and hangout with a blue Koala with a weird sounding name and have a look at what’s going to happen over the next two weeks.

Firstly TV’s in households across the national will be tuned to channel 7 and only channel 7, allowing the nation to forget our recent cricketing shame. The only ball tampering going on will be the adjustment of the crown jewels as men lower themselves into couches and settle in the for the duration of the games with an iconic Australian beer. For the Queenslander it’ll no doubt be a XXXX, the Welshman will have their NEW, the dirty Mexicans have a variety of choices but it would be disappointing not to see they sipping on a stubbie of VB. The South Aussies can’t go past a Coopers the west Aussie will be hitting the Swan lager and the rest of the nation well depends what’s in the fridge I guess.

While the rest of Australia gets set for their couches to finally discover butt indents while they glue themselves to the TV for two weeks watching athletes in tight-fitting clothes romp around the Gold Coast like a bad episode of the bachelor. The residents of Gold Coast are preparing for their lives to be turned upside down. With the roads in and around the Gold Coast already bumper to bumper outside of peak hour the added pressure of the Games and closure of roads will make getting anywhere a nightmare for the 2 weeks of competition.

So travelling to the games might become an episode of the greatest race and I look forward to hearing how it goes for all those venturing into the heartland of Games activity as they try to get a look at the Aussie athletes battling it out with the rest of the Commonwealth nations. There’ll be nations no one knows or has heard of like Kiribati or New Zealand and the Gold Coast will see people from all walks of life visiting to watch some expensive event while they pay two times the usual rate at a three star hotel out the back of Nerang.

So the statistics well we don’t have any all we can tell you is like any other event where there are both male and female athletes the games committee have invested heavily in condoms and safe sex promotions for the village. They are warning locals and tourists to plan their travel and prepare for delays. They’ve built some new venues and even made a dedicated lane for athletes and officials on certain roads throughout the GC. We’ve literally done zero research on this one ladies and gentleman, well that’s a lie we research what events were taking place next to the actual sports that people will want to see.

The long list of sports has been profiled one by one to give you an overview so you know what you are watching from comfort of your own house and we’ve given you the names of some of the athletes or participants to watch as recommend to us by the official games guide. One thing we do know for sure, there will be an influx of selfies on instagram around some of GC’s iconic places and a lot of overseas people holding Koalas and patting poor old Skippy meanwhile scaring him to within an inch of his life. The things out wildlife do to satiate our tourist industry.

Regardless of what you decide to watch over the next couple of weeks it has once again sparked an age-old debate that has raged in local drinking holes across Australia over the years. Is it a sport? Well here at A Mind of It’s Own we’ve settled that questions for you the reader.

Athletics – Event

With iconic events such as the frisbee toss, spear throw, gate jumping, ball and chain toss circle walking and reverse limbo why wouldn’t you want to come along and watch these modern-day hunters show their skills. They’ll show you how they can run, jump and throw things at imaginary animals taking us right back to the days of ancient Greece where they lubed each other to show who was the best warrior. Keep an eye out for that guy from Melbourne with the abnormally large calves and that girl from Sydney that does that little dance before she jumps over the fences. As always the Jamaicans will put on a good show almost like they are chasing after the Red Stripe vendor on the beaches of Port Royal. Either way these hunters turned athletes will be showing us exactly what it used to be like to hunt in the days before firearms.

Badminton – Sport

Like many people we’ve become perplexed by this sport, it’s a cross between tennis and volleyball. It raises the question as to whether this game was invented for those who couldn’t quite manage to make it in either sport. Are they hitting a miniature peacock back and forth over a net? What is that thing it’s like a deformed tennis ball with wings? Going by the age-old adage it’s not a sport unless it involves a ball I can’t tell if i am watching a sport or an event of grunting people trying to hurt miniature animals as they salvo them back and forth across a net.

Basketball – Sport

LeBron, Jordan, Bryant, Curry, Durant, Chamberlain, Westbrook, Duncan, Johnson, Bird and Nowitzki just to name a few. None of these greats of the game will be dunking, alley ooping or hitting fade aways over the two weeks of the games. Safe to say we’ll get see some 3rd string ballers from the Lithuanian premier league. If we are lucky enough the Boomers will have recalled some of their benchwarmers from the NBA to light up Townsville and Cairns, that’s right you heard it here first the Gold Coast Commonwealth Games and you have to venture to Cairns and Townsville to watch a Round Game. The women’s bball will see the likes of Babbage and Jackson back from the WNBA so it might be more thrilling than the men’s as these two big birds show the country that women can indeed dunk…

Beach Volleyball

Sand, surf pounding in the background the iconic Coolangatta overlooking the newly constructed temporary volleyball court. The ultimate perving event for both Men and women. Swimwear, tanned and toned bodies this could just be the sport of the gods. It’s got it all, something for everyone to enjoy. It’s highly competitive, it was in Top Gun and it’s got skimpy little outfits. I for one am sold on the beach volleyball. I’ll apologise to my wife now, I will be watching the volleyball.

 

Boxing – Event

Street fights and bar brawls brought to the masses. Trained fighters who like to punch the snot out of each other. Someone back in the day cashed in on a major marketing opportunity when they realised they could get people to pay to come and watch something they can get in their local pub for free on a Friday night watching Johnny insult Tom’s manlihood, wife or choice of clothing after he’s had a skinful of the amber ale and starts to get a little lippy to one to many patron. The men and women will throw on some gloves, mouthguards and headgear to make it look a little more civilised for the masses but you’ll no doubt still get to see some blood, big hits and knockouts as these professional pub fighters slug it out in the ring for your viewing pleasure.

Cycling – Mountain Bike

Penny Farthings with suspension racing through the hinterlands of the Gold Coast dodging deadly snakes, spiders and whatever else may lurk up there. Well this will be an event to watch. They’ll be hurling down hills and climbing like they are on sections of the tour de france. This is one of three penny farthing events we will see on the Gold Coast over the next two weeks and is sure to attract a big crowd giving the growing participation in the sport of the recent years thanks to its inclusion in the Olympic games. That won’t stop this writer from yelling things like “It’s a push bike, get off and push it!”

Cycling – Road

Unlike the mountain biking this Penny Farthing race will involve laps of the Gold Coasts pristine roads. Who are we kidding the roads are only so good at the moment because they’ve been relaid specifically for this event. Lucky none of it heads onto the M1 we’d have the whole group in the peloton and no break away groups experiencing the true traffic of the Gold Coast as they race around the roads in effort to prove their dominance in the most drug fueled sport in the world. It’s safe to safe that ASADA, WADA and any other anti-doping authorities will be watching this one through a microscope and the intake of peeing in cups will rise quickly after the conclusion of this event.

Cycling – Track

The Nascar of cycling, whether it be individual or team pursuit my favourite part of any track cycling is watching these guys stack. Sad and not every nice i know but having experienced a velodrome stack myself I know how much it hurts and also how funny it looks from the outside looking in as someone replays your crash to you, over and over cackling the whole time.

Diving

Jumping off a platform into a pool of water, well safe to say this is another sport where the stacks are spectacular. The slap of skin as it hits the water after an ill timed tuck or attempted triple somersault can make even the manliest of blokes squirm as they imagine themselves being that person. Credit where credit is due though these guys put life and limb on the line as they push themselves to do something sillier than their last attempt all because they are judged on difficulty and application.

Gymnastics Artistic

The bitchiest sport at the Commonwealth Games… As highlighted in thousands of movies over the years it’s not called Gymnicetics. Well that being said the things these athletes put themselves through just to get on the squad is well who knows really but we are looking forward to the vault, tramp, rings and bars as athletes hurtled themselves at the apparatuses in an attempt to get perfect scores for their team or as an individuals. Coles and Woolworths close to the events have stocked up on hairspray and glitter incase teams didn’t get their buses full of the junk through customs but no doubt the athletes will need a little top up of hairspray to ensure there isn’t a strand of hair out-of-place or there leotards start riding up.

Gymnastics Rhythmic – Event

I can only take a pot shot at this like tin cans on the fence and Pa’s old 22 shoulder ready to have a crack. I’m assuming the difference is Rhythmic contains all the floor events like the bowling ball, ribbons and clap sticks. Again this will be a hairspray fueled event with the change rooms become like brown paper bags at Coomera train station on a Thursday afternoon as the kids wait to head home. My only hope is that through all the events we hear the dulcet tones of one Rampaging Roy Slaven and H.G Nelson commentating. Nothing like seeing a battered Sav, Sausage roll and whatever other hard moves these athletes perform in their quest for gold on the big stage.

Hockey – Sport

Ah the sport of women… What? Only women play field hockey right? How many male hockey players have coped this through the years from their mates or obnoxious bullies in the school yard. Yes here in Australia the Hockeyroos had the limelight for years having won Olympic gold but the Kookaburras have managed to bridge that gap in the last decade as we’ve developed some greats of the sport who will go down in history. With many of the top ten nations involved in the Commonwealth Games the hunt for the gold medal will be hotly contested in both the men and women’s competition. There are so many big names to watch out for we could almost to an article just on the hockey. We’ll just throw you some of the Aussies to watch. Watch out for Bone, Fey and the little pocket rocket and captain from Crookwell NSW Emily Smith. Over on the men’s side watch out for Whetton, Beale, Govers (Blake not Keiran) and retiring legend of the game Mark Knowles. The English and Indian’s will put on a good show and this particular writer is interested in watching the Scottish boys Bain, McIntyre and the Forsyth brothers battle it out as I reminisce about coaching them when I was a wee lad myself.

Lawn bowls – Sport

Forced out of retirement to participate, half the competitors in this event drag the overall average age up but what they lack in youth they certainly make up for in their ability to get their balls closest to the jack. For your information the Jack is not a man and they are not playing some sick perverted game it’s that little white ball they aim at with their big black balls. Hmmm actually this isn’t sounding very good as i type this out. Besides that the oldies enjoy it and will be missing there midi, pot or pony of mid strength at the far end of the green for the next two weeks. One thing we do know, it won’t be this gang in trouble at the end of the games for trashing in the village…

Netball – Sport

The game that makes women want to pash the blokes, makes them want to tell dirty jokes, netball, netball. What a game, tall chicks in skirts jumping around a court throwing a ball to each other before trying to shoot it into a little ring, scratching and gouging each other. It’s non contact they say… Have you ever seen a netball game? Those chicks are hard-core, they make rugby players look soft and funnily enough a lot of them date footballers, I wonder who wears the pants in those relationships. People to watch ahhh well for that we’ve had to research the interweb and trust google is giving us a fair indication of who’s who in the netball zoo. There is ex-swans full forward Kurt Tippetts sister Gretel, she’s almost as tall if not taller than him and her ankles are a lot sturdier and her close mate Kimberley Ravaillion and some english bird Helen Housby. All recommended by google as some of the top competitors at the commonwealth games to watch. It would also have to be one of the only sports at the Commonwealth games where there is not a single male competitor. You can be guaranteed though there’ll be plenty in the stands though cheering the ladies on as they battle it out for Commonwealth gold.

Rugby Sevens – Sport

The scaled down version of the apparent game played in Heaven. Who doesn’t want to watch a bunch of blokes as they shove their heads up each others backsides and squirrel grip each other as they try to form a slack attempt at a scrum with not enough players. They’ll have rolling mauls and rucks and one man line-out? It’ll be fast, fun and furious and with both the Australian Men and Women’s teams dominating the tournaments around the world recently they are sure to go into the games as hot favourites for the gold. Google has instructed our research team that the convicts need to watch the mother country as they once again look to assert some dominance over the colonies. With household names like Caslick, Williams, Green and Staples in the women’s team and Anderson, Killingworth and Longbottom taking the paddock for the men we are sure to see some rugby worthy of being in heaven,

Shooting

Time to dust off the old musket and pace out the steps, grab grandpa’s double barrel and oil it up finally a sport for those who don’t feel comfortable with a racquet, bat or stick in their hands. Animals make way for paper targets and clay pigeons as these farmers turned athlete’s for the next two weeks find themselves on the big stage amongst all the city folk as they try to visual the perfect shot in which they’ll win a gold medal that will find a home in their gun safe with all there guns and bullets. People to watch out for? Ah is that Michael Diamond fella still about or has he been arrested again?

Squash

The sport of the advertising community, a game in which you can picture middle-aged men standing around in their short shorts smoking a Winfield Blue talking business before stepping into the court where game faces drop and goggles are put on for the match ahead. Who would have thought smashing a little rubber ball against a wall would become a sport but like many other events at this years Commonwealth Games it has. A game formally dominated by India a recent google search lead me to the Dunlop Professional Squash Association World Rankings and it’s the Egyptians and English you have to watch out for. Poor old Australians rank mid to late teens that being said it could be a battle of Ashes come the Gold medal match and I’m not sure who we should tell you to watch out for in this event.

Swimming

The creme de la creme of survival sports not sure how this ever became a sport but it did, as far as this writer is concerned it’s a survival skill. If you don’t swim you drown plain and simple but somewhere we as human beings with a competitive streak managed to turn it into a sport. Two guys in a river “hey mate if we don’t swim we will drown how about we race to the other side?” “You are on old chap”… We then expanded it and decided we needed to challenge ourselves and throw in long and longer distances and breed fish instead of humans. So the sport of swimming was born and many a little fish was made to swim laps in their local pee infested pool as their dreams of gold grew.

Table Tennis – Sport

This will be the slowed down version of the game without the chinese, Taiwanese and well most of the Asian countries involved. Our only hope is for one of the colonised countries to come to our add and grace us with a future champion of the game. Played in caravan parks, garages, games rooms and around the world most Australians have taken to the alcohol fueled version of this game that involves throwing the little white ball into cups filled with alcohol in order to make your opposing team drink. Unfortunately due to the spirit of the games or some crap like that we won’t be seeing any competitive drinking events until after the games have officially closed.

Triathlon – Event

The ultimate event showcasing survival skills at their best, there’s a bit of running some swimming and the racing of the modern-day penny farthing all combined into the one event. This event will showcase the amazing beaches of the gold coast along with some roads what more could you want. Watch out for the likes of Snowsill, Curry-kenny oh wait I think they’ve both retired. You might have to consult google to check out who is still on the circuit these days.

Weightlifting

As if going to gym isn’t bad enough already we’ve given the roid ragers an excuse to get in their and throw the weights around as they look at themselves in the mirrors. Trying to best each other as they load up more and more weight on the bar to out lift each other and put strain on their necks, shoulders and backs that they will pay for later in life these men and woman eat sleep and breathe protein powder. I don’t know what it is but weightlifting often reminds me of those two guys from the circus who wear leopard lift one should leotards and have sweet moustaches and are ridiculous strong. Unfortunately it’s not that comical or entertaining as we watch athletes, strain, grunt and try not to fart as they lift 100s of kilos to out lift their competitors.

Wrestling – Event

Guys in tights hugging each other on the ground if there was ever an event to be championed by the LGBT community this would be it. Throw in some jelly and beers and you’ve got yourself a best seller. All of Gold Coast will be there trying to be in the ring, circle or whatever it is that try to pin each other down on to get a win. Unfortunately there is no jelly just the skin-tight lycra and silly little helmets to protect their ears. Holding on by the skin of it’s teeth this could be the last time you see wrestling at a Commonwealth games let alone an Olympics. Who watches wrestling?

So to all those arm chair athletes out there, we hope you enjoy the games and remember we are only taking the mickey. All of the above mentioned sports have their place and all have famous athletes who we here at A Mind of It’s Own respect highly. Thanks for reading and until next time peace out!