Tag: thinking

Raspberry Beret…

Well for once in our lives we’ve decided to agree with the 1985 hit song from Prince and embrace our inner fashionista. Welcome to this week’s instalment of the nation’s fastest rising blog. Like a slow bake cake we’ll rise when the temperature is right and the world is ready for our antics. Sit back, relax and let the good times roll as we take you on yet another journey into the wonderful world around us. The inspiration for this weeks post came to us in an alcohol fuelled rendition of Billy Joel’s ‘We didn’t start the fire’.

Like all things a mind of its own this one pretty much wrote itself in the Sunday morning hangover drive through line of your closest McDonald’s. As the fog of one too many beers began to clear a beautiful post manifested itself in the writing department of our minds. As we stated this one wrote itself on the back of quiet night in with a few friends. If you are an inquisitive person you are probably asking yourself what Prince, Fashion and Billy Joel could have inspired? We certainly were as the boffins went to work pumping this one out.

When you think fashion what do you think? Catwalks? Overly skinny girls modeling the summer or winters latest designs around the globe? Men strutting their stuff or really, really good looking people aka Derek Zoolander? Well one piece of clothing that often gets overlooked, underrated and not given enough credit or airtime on the catwalks of Milan, Paris and other old world fashion capitals around the globe. What is it you ask? As far as being cryptic goes you wear it, it can cover even the most ugliest of people and fix things like no other.

We are talking about head coverings, hats, beanies, headdresses, yamakas, if it goes on your head there is a fair chance you won’t see it being displayed at fashion week. Classed as accessories they’ve been the best of friends to premature balding men the world over, worn the wrong way by redbull fueled extreme athletes and kept the warmth in people’s heads in the harshest of environments. We would have like to have spent the time doing some research into hats, beanies and the like but that would have been to painful on a Sunday afternoon as the rest of the team nap around us.

The most popular of head clothes is by far the cap, worn by all to shade our faces, reduce the risk of sun damage, cover our balding heads or bad haircuts, stop surveillance cameras getting a clear shot of our face, hide hangovers and most of the time as an alternative to having to do our hair. While cowboys and farmers prefer the wide brim, hipsters have adopted the fedora, kids and young adults wanting to maintain their youthfulness have chosen the flat brim. The Jewish community have there own little hat although it only really covers the bald spot at the back of their heads.

Hats come in all different shapes and sizes, they have various functions and are made from many different fabrics.But we don’t need to tell you our readers as we knew you are all a bunch of smart eggs. What we do need to tell you is that this blog was inspired by a particular piece of head clothing. For generations men and women have been wearing it and yet in everyday life it has seemed to dwindle away. Those that have one may have to dig into the back of their closest to find it but we here at A Mind of Its Own are telling you to do it and predicting they’ll make a come back. Unlike the thousands of fashion bloggers out there we won’t be including any photos of us in front of the mirror modelling anything.

What happened to the Beret, well besides militaries around the globe adopting it as headwear of choice for some of their regiments. Back in the mid eighties Prince made them popular particularly Raspberry ones. Speaking from experience we can safely say they are the most underrated in the hat family. Yes they look good on military men and woman standing at attention on the parade ground but they are also comfortable, warm and can be worn a variety of different ways. We did our homework on them to ensure all myths around this amazing style of hat were debunked. Trying on a few was like putting heaven on the head, the beret is truly a modular piece of headwear that can dressed up or down. It’s both smart and casual at the same time.

So back to those beers that were being had while a thirty something male danced around the living room singing Billy Joel. This suave and sophisticated cat was rocking none other than a beret. Looking part military, part hipster he reminded us that the Beret had been forgotten in the world of fashion and is a hat that more people should consider when they step into their local hat shop. We are assuming there are still stores that are dedicated to selling the globes finest head clothes? If not there is always the Internet that brings us so many wonderful things! Like this blog for instance! There’s nothing wrong with a shameless plug.

From A Mind of Its Own to you, if you take anything from this blog or any of our blogs do yourself a favour and think twice about which advice you take from us but for now. If you own one get it out if you don’t go and get yourself one. Support the Beret! We certainly will be, for this week anyways. If we were a military body it would be our head clothes of choice. Many a charismatic character has worn the beret proudly, generally in the cinematic universe but hey if John Wayne can wear one why can’t we all and who knows maybe the French will get back into the spirit this year at Fashion week in Paris. If not we can always ask for another revolutionary like Che Guevara to make them popular again.

As the sun hits the horizon and starts to disappear from view, our hearts let out a sigh signalling the weekend is yet again almost over and tomorrow we head back to the real world. Argh work, perhaps we’ll start a petition for 4 day work weeks in which everyone does 10 hours a day. Long weekends every week, or at least a siesta like our Spanish friends. Who doesn’t love a nap in the middle of the day. From the team here, thank you once again and enjoy your week working for the man. The Europeans are on to something with their work/life balance. Power to the people! Peace out.

The Quiet Things that no one knows…

It’s another double week here at A Mind of Its Own headquarters, double martini’s, double espresso, double trouble and for our adoring fans that means you get double the awesomeness to get you through the weekend. We’ve searched high and low for another stellar topic to follow-up on the pampered pooches soft piece earlier in the week. It didn’t take the boffins down in the lab long to pull out a topic that I am sure strikes a chord with many of our female fans and one that this writer’s wife has voiced her opinion quite strongly about on several occasions.

We live in a world that is interconnected, we have mobile devices, instant message, video chat, you name it and it’s probably already there. We are still hanging out for a true hoverboard though like Marty McFly but give it a couple a years and we are sure we’ll be yelling at kids to slow down as the gravitate past at speed. So with all this technology you think we (Men) would be happy getting on a conference call and gossiping like a bunch of school kids behind the toilets at lunch while puffing on some stolen menthol cigarettes as we just aren’t quite prepared to go the full leaded option just yet.

Being male we can safely say that we are happy to chat but prefer to be doing something while we are chatting. Playing around of golf, some poker, shearing sheep, pretending to work at desk, sitting at your local watering hole, are just some of the examples of guys getting together and having a chat about life. So what do you do if you have a group of mates who want to catch up regularly but are all in different locations and have varying reasons as to why catching up face to face isn’t always possible. Distance being number one. Unlike our female counterparts who can sit on a call for hours, upon hours filling in friends on their week and how many cute guys or girls they saw at the gym while eating a whole tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream on their own, Men just can’t focus on the conversation for that amount of time.

We’ll give you an example, you promise your other half that you will take out the rubbish on your way to work one morning, however in your rush to get ready you spend way to long in the mirror trimming your wayward nasal hairs and forget. So upon your return after a hard days work at the office where you’ve stood around the water cooler filling your day talking to anyone who will listen so you don’t actually have to sit there and look at spreadsheets, you walk in the door and immediately get chewed out. What you will see is the nodding and agreeing coupled with an apology. What you don’t see is that we’ve gone on autopilot and are already wondering what is for dinner or to watch on TV, are there any beers left in the fridge?

The example is not that we aren’t listening, we are! We hear it all, it’s that we are already thinking about the next thing. This is what a conversation between males is like, we flit in an out of the conversation not always present. Hence this week’s topic is something that keeps us all focused. Allows us to catch up and spend our time wisely doing two things at once. We know shock horror! Men can do two things at once! When we really want to yes we can do multiple things at once without even thinking about it.

The late 80’s and early 90’s saw the beginning of trend that would dominate the home entertainment industry for years to come. No longer did you have to go to the Arcade to play your favourite machines they were now all available to play on your own console hooked up to the television in the safety of your own living room. It was around this time that obesity and the links to discovering the colonels eleven secret herbs and spices started to also began to grow. The video game console had emerged and those lucky enough to be able to afford one would slowly become fans of some of the biggest cult heroes of our generation.

As technology advanced so did consoles and along with these advancements over time came the ability to interact with people all around the globe. You could be racing cars with John from Delaware, or in the trenches of Normandy with Raj from India. It is just another way of connecting people around the world. For a group of 30 something males it made it possible to jump online and play video games while catching on what has transpired through the week or month. The wonder of it all is that you can be stretched across the globe but for that hour of two as you battle your way through Mordor or reenact the landing on Omaha beach you are all in the one location.

So what is it about this that automatically makes it Geeky and frustrates wives, partners, husbands etc? That’s a question we have asked on several occasion and like comics and anything that people don’t understand or want to understand it’s all make-believe and not reality. Correct and no one is deluding themselves that it is. Ok there are a few who live in fairyland but like all things in life there is always going to be those one or two people who take things too far. Yes video games and gamers used to be associated with the geeks however more and more these days you will find what used to be nerdy, geeky and weird is becoming more and more mainstream.

In a world full of stereotypes many people have always associated gaming as something that only the loner, disenfranchised, nerds, geeks or children do. It is however a multi-million dollar industry and is attracting people from all walks of life for various different reasons to various different games. With games now becoming more and more like chapters of books people often finish a game and play it over and over again to see what they have missed whilst they wait for the next installment.

It’s not an escape from reality it’s merely a virtual interaction between people across continents, around the globe and maybe one day out into the far reaches of the galaxy. A way in which to interact and often work together in teams to complete a common goal. Some companies have even gone as far to go online and find future employees who exhibit online the qualities they are looking for in their staff. So escape from reality or a way of interacting and doing something with friends near and far? You be the judge but for the team here at A Mind of Its Own we advocate interact with friends and family via video games just as long as it doesn’t take over your real live. We don’t need hermits there is already enough cranky people in this world.

For another week it’s over and out from the team. We hope you’ve enjoyed the double dose this week and we look forward to gracing your inbox, iPad or desktop some point next week. Peace out hombres!

The Dog Days are Over…

Sorry just let me stop chewing on my bone for a second and let my paws dance across the keyboard once again in what will be the second post of my illustrious career with A Mind of Its Own. And what a career it’s been so far! I’ve been undercover on the Gold Coast in order for us to write ‘Our lawyer made us change the name of this song’ and given you an expose on my life as a Border Collie in ‘Every dog has its day’ and I am now following it up with the aptly titled The Dog Days are Over…

That’s right it’s me again the pup with the power to melt your minds. Call me Socks the wonder dog. Boy or Buddy which has been thrown around way to much lately making me start to question whether my name is Socks or Buddy. Where do I begin? It’s been a troubling couple of weeks in which my family keep reminding me that sleep doesn’t come easy and my dreams are somewhat troubled. The man of the house or human as I prefer to call him as I still have plans on taking the mantle from him, is questioning whether he should take me to see the psychiatrist or not. His google search history is interesting enough when he’s not googling “Can dogs get PTSD?”. So to once again give you an insight into my life the Googling started last weekend after an event on the local beach. It wasn’t the first time an incident had occurred along this pristine part of coastline but this one really shook me up.

Let me paint the picture for you! There I was minding my own business cruising down the beach as i do whenever the humans let me free from the leash they are so fond of keeping me on while we are out of the house. I was chomping away at the waves and chasing the stick that somehow kept flying through the air behind me. I said hi to a few of my people and stopped off for a couple of games of chase. All in all I was having a really nice morning with my humans on one of my favourite beaches. Being in a playful mood I thought I’d leave them a nice present to clean up knowing they had once again forgotten to bring along poo bags and would be forced to shamefully bury it or scoop it up with their coffee cups.

As i watched my humans stoop over in shame and begin to dig a hole in which to bury my doings deep within the earth, a wicked grin stretching across my face I notice a good looking Maltese heading my way further down the beach. She was a little older but still an attractive girl. Readying myself I got down on all fours and waited for her to come closer and closer to see if there was any interest in this young pup. Her owners seemed like a nice couple, they looked well travelled and like people who had made the most of their lives to date. No doubt they had a few grandchildren and possibly even great grandchildren. But that’s got nothing to do with the story whatsoever.

So there I am waiting to see if she’ll let me sniff her butt when out of nowhere I hear and feel the thump, thump, thump of sand behind me. Glancing over my shoulder I see a blur heading straight for me like a bullet from a gun. Like the bus company that transports people around Australia and with the same amount of force, a young greyhound slammed into me. Sorry for the swearing but if humans could understand the varying pitches of my bark what they would have got is “Oh fuck!”. I immediately went to into flight or fight mode. Little good it did me as I rolled on my back trying to play dead. Wanting to take flight I freaked out at this rather rough attempt to play and cried out for my humans to help me!

I’m all for rough housing and god knows my brother Banjo cops it from me when we catch up but this was next level. My eyes darted around for his humans, nowhere to be seen. As he flipped me around and continued his frenzied attempts to play, I scurried off to use my humans as a shield. In his moment of delight pinning me to the ground, my new unwanted friend saw my potential girlfriend approaching. All of a sudden the weight pinning me against the cool sand was gone. I was on my feet again, forcing air back into my lungs as quick as I could.

A bark of warning escaped my mouth as I watched it all unfold before me in slow motion. My tormentor had now become hers as he chased her closer and closer towards the waters edge. Looking on in fright I watched as she backed further and further into the water. Waves crashed down around her at times looking like they were swallowing her whole. Humans ran in from all directions. I saw my human crash through the waves thinking he was David Hasselhoff coming to the rescue of some big boob blonde on Baywatch.

Getting a hold of the Greyhound in what became a wrestle, he held on tight like a bull rider in a rodeo as the Greyhound continued his attempts to play with the petrified Maltese. A group of onlookers had now gathered at the shoreline as the poor old lady waded into the knee high water and pulled my frightened, soaked, friend to safety and hugged her in great relief that she was ok. Scared but ok. Ambling down the beach like he had all the time in the world came a little angry man who despite my human’s attempts to be nice and de-escalate the situation was quite rude and asked and I quote “Does no one on this beach have a fucking brain?” again sorry for the swearing but it was a direct quote and couldn’t be avoided.

Much to the shock of everyone now standing around the arrogant, angry, little man didn’t apologise to the elderly couple or anyone else who’s dogs had been terrorised by his playful Greyhound that should have been on a leash as he couldn’t be controlled through simple voice or whistle commands. Storming off back down the beach I let another little bark fly at his back, that I won’t translate for you as I shouldn’t know that language at my age. I ran over and licked my human to make sure he was ok. Still horrified by my first encounter with an over zealous potential friend I sat there accepting pats and giving my humans the occasional lick to let them know they were loved.

I still see the fear in her eyes as she ran attempted to get away from the Greyhound, my fear paralysing me and my dreams haunted by big dogs chasing me. I yelp out little barks in my sleep that are no longer cute and more concerning to my human who is obsessed with finding a solution to all problems on Google. I think they’ve brainwashed him that they can do anything almost like Elon Musk has convinced himself that he’s not an arrogant dreamer who thinks he’s better than everyone else.

So humans be warned! If you fall into either category below I suggest you stay off my beach! If you are an angry human that doesn’t understand why people are getting upset when your dog is over playful and rough with other dogs and thereby terrorising them or a runner who gets angry when we (Dogs) chase after you pretty please stay away from the part of the beach where we are allowed to roam free without a leash to do our own thing! You humans have a whole coastline where you can do your thing. We dogs are given a tiny bit of space on the beach where we can be off the leash to run and play with each other.

We don’t set out to cause harm or annoy you, we are simply just living up to being man or woman’s best friend. Wanting to be around you and play is what we do. We are your constant, most loyal companions so please look after us. So from me I’ll say thanks to all the responsible humans who look after us. Enjoy your week and be kind to the beach and your four legged friends. From the team at a mind of its own, go with peace and thanks for reading yet another installment of the best blog on the Northern Beaches!

We Don’t Go In There…

This week we thought we’d start out a little different, rather than our usual hello and long-winded interlude to another episode of A Mind of Its Own, we thought maybe we’d just get straight into it and fire away at the subject that has weighed most heavily on our minds and wallets for the week. Then again if we did that this paragraph would become redundant and you’ve have to hear the writing staff drone on incessantly about how they weren’t given the opportunity to introduce their writing and this weeks stellar topic.

Continuing on with our travel theme we decided to actually take to the skies in an attempt to give our readers a more in-depth look at modern-day travel. In doing so we opened our wallets and let the moths take flight grudgingly. The Amex was swiped, our bags were packed and we took to the closest airport to board a flight bound for the City of Churches. Before we could that though we had to endure a rather hands pat down, explosive wanding and the worst part of all, the part that really got our goat and almost saw the Incredible Hulk make an appearance in the middle of the Gold Coast airport. Well we’ll get to that shortly for now we need to take a breath, relax and let you join us on our journey.

Around the world no matter what continent you are on, or where you may call home. The moment you step foot into the terminal its like you are entering mini city that allow for us to fly from A to B in less time than it would take to drive. A little like the towns that highways haven’t quite bypassed as of yet. Like any city, they have their own economy, their own vibe and most of all their own inhabitants. We are talking about the people who call these places work, not just the pilots and flight crews but the ground staff right through to the ladies and gentleman that man the information desks, shops and kiosks around the airport. Think of them like Santa’s elves if Santa was a multibillion dollar industry oh wait that’s a topic for another day.

Does that include the people trying to get you hooked on wine as you walk from gate to gate you ask? Yes it most certainly does, we call them the naughty elves and they are unfortunately apart of the airport community but really no different to the airport bars. They just soften you up with free samples first before they get you to open your wallet in order to pay for the monthly subscription of wine you’ve drunkenly been talked into before you walk past all their little storefront friends who lure you in for a look while you waste time before your flight boards. The more shops you walk into the more the suggestive the devil on your shoulder becomes reminding you of all the things you forgot to pack or might need on your journey. All the advertising doesn’t help either as it subconsciously erodes away the commonsense walls in your mind.

It’s no wonder that a trip to the airport often starts with a trip to the bank to take out a loan. Mostly for the time spent at the airport on either end of the trip no matter how short or long. So why is it that food and items are so expensive at an airport compared to heading down to your local Coles or Woolies and loading up the trolley?. After our arrival yesterday we were shocked and almost fell off our stool as the barman put down an eagerly awaited cold amber ale in front of us an promptly demanded payment to the sum of $12.50. Now before you ask it wasn’t a pint, it wasn’t a craft beer or an international beer. It was a bloody Great Northern and we found it very un-Australian to be paying an arm and a leg for a beer. Whilst paying that amount for any beer that is of a standard size is still ludicrous most people would be ok with paying it for a craft beer or a beer they may not have tried before maybe.

An Australian Beer at an Australian airport at those prices has us scratching our heads and wondering whether we need to start investing in airport shares in order for the dividends to fund a beer or two while we are there. Now it would be ok if the excessive pricing was kept to just alcoholic beverages however we soon discovered that price hiking expanded across any and everything. Head into the newsagent type store, books take a $3 to $4 dollar increase. Lollies increased by a dollar or two. The surf shops have everything at the recommended retail price not a dollar less. Even heading over to Hungry Jacks for a Whopper will cost you an additional $3 dollars more than it would if you were to head through drive on your way to the airport.

So what makes retailers increases their prices to the maximum chargeable amounts in the market. Some would argue the cost of rent is higher at an airport and others would argue that it’s the cost of staff and the weird hours airports keep. But the plain and simple argument we will make at A Mind of Its Own is simple. Costs of goods at airports are what they are due to supply and demand. They have a product, you want the product and it’s not like you can simply leave to go get it somewhere else unless you are hours early for you flight which lets face it most people are not unless they have nowhere else to go.

What are your alternatives you ask? Either plan ahead or take out small loan if you plan on spending more than an hour while you wait for a flight ensuring you fed and well hydrated. Perhaps stopping off at a shopping centre on the way might be your best bet to cover all your bases and ensure you save yourself a couple of hundred dollars and a trip to the bank before the creditors are on your case about repayments. Or you could just choose to drive if you’re heading interstate and have the time. God knows taxiing on the runway at Kingsford Smith Airport feels like you are driving down to Cronulla in order to get a big enough run up for takeoff.

Whatever your preferred method of travel, the one thing we have learnt this week is that airports are expensive places where supply and demand reigns supreme. If you are thinking about taking a trip, do yourself a favour and plan ahead. Like everything, money makes the world go round and the aviation industry is a multi billion dollar beast that sees you coming from a mile off, not just because the planes are big and rather noisy. So for another week we bid you farewell and hope you have a pleasant week. Please remain seated until the captain has turned off the fasten seat belt and when opening the overhead lockers, please take caution has luggage may have moved during the flight Thank you for choosing to Fly A Mind of Its Own.

P.S Keep your eyes peeled for another sneak peek chapter of Fire for Effect coming your way…

20 Dollar Nose Bleed…

Well, well, well we meet again my old friends. It’s a new week and the chance for you to once again bask in the brilliant stylings of a Mind of Its Own. This week we threw out to our fans and just like the writers at this here blog none of their suggestions were remotely serious. Expect perhaps this writers wife who wanted a piece all about herself. Instead I’m proposing she lends us one of her blogs and we’ll post it on our amazing platform? Or she can come and write a silly piece for us.

As for the other suggestions our view is simply this. We agree you shouldn’t have to pay for cheese on a kebab particularly after 1am. Fatboy Slim is the best DJ ever! Purple cucumbers or eggplant as its better known is the tastiest vegetable and public figures! Perhaps we’ll leave that to the Healing Well Co to cover. It seems like a topic they are quite passionate about it. But in public figures defence, they are figures and the are a part of the public. So I guess in some ways we are all public figures???.

So despite all the amazing suggestions we decided to go with something that crashed into us like a stereotypical Asian driver. For a country surrounded by the sea we don’t often take the time to look at beaches as anything more than a place for us to get bronzed bodies, hang ten and cool off especially in summer. Have you ever taken the time to stop and think about how you feel after you’ve taken a dip in the salty seas or are behind the wheel on your way home after a day at the beach?. So the question we thought we’d try to answer this week was whether the ocean actually has healing abilities or is it just a placebo effect?

From a scientific standpoint or medical opinion we’ve been told by (Google, Wikipedia and various other reliable sources) the internet that the ocean can we a double-edged sword when it comes to dunking yourself with open wounds. Whilst the sea is rich in mineral salts such as iodine and sodium therefore making it a natural antiseptic you do run the risk of picking up a bacterial infections. That being said we have discovered that there are similarities between seawater and human plasma the only difference being humans have one extra molecule of iron and seawater has an extra molecule of magnesium other than that it is a staggering 98% identical.

Besides being somewhat good at helping to heal wounds are there other qualities this readily abundant source of magic has? And why do we not listen to our ancestors and naturopaths who have been spruiking the oceans qualities for years like that guy in the cheap suit out the front of a Goldmark or Prouds at sale time? The Egyptians (ancient) not the modern-day guys and girls, the Greeks again ancient, the Romans all recommended the use of sea water in hot baths as a way of healing the mind, body and soul for centuries.

In fact according to several sources it was Hippocrates who first used the word Thalassotherapy (from the Greek word ‘thalassa’ meaning sea). What is that you ask? Thalassotherapy is a therapeutic use of the seawater, its climate, and marine products like algae, seaweed, and alluvial mud used in the healing of the body. So if it’s good enough for some of the great philosophers of the ancient world why do we not utilise its great gifts more often. Approximately 70% of the earth is covered by oceans/water around 60% of the human body is make up of water coincidence? We here at a mind of its own tend to think not.

We picked out 4 key areas in which being in the ocean or around the ocean can improve your overall well-being. With that being said once you read through this there is a bigger picture to look at and once again we urge you all to look after our oceans and its inhabitants. There is no point A Mind of Its Own telling you about all these great properties if all we continue to do is pollute it and damage it for the generations to come. As is often said around the office… Do the right thing! Be a man! Or woman!

The Oceans Effects on our Immune System…

Seawater or the ocean as we prefer to call it contains vital elements, vitamins, mineral salts, trace elements, amino acids and living microorganisms that can produce antibiotic and antibacterial effects to help promote a healthy immune system. Relating back to our earlier comment about plasma and seawater sharing similar properties, components of seawater, are easily absorbed and utilised by the human body while swimming. If you want to take up smoking we recommend sea mist as it is filled with negatively charged ions, or molecules that attach to your lungs which also boosts your immune system. According to several naturopathic doctors in addition to being good for your lungs swimming in the ocean opens pores in the skin allowing greater absorption of sea minerals and the expulsion of disease-causing toxins from the body.

Blood flow or Circulation for those more focused on the medial side…

Swimming in the ocean reportedly may help facilitate the circulation of blood in the human body, surprisingly we didn’t find anything about it helping out our four-legged friends. Now for those playing along at home your circulatory system which is made up of the heart, capillaries, arteries and veins in case you didn’t know. Carries oxygen-rich blood from your heart around your body, then returns blood to your heart again. The main purpose of thalassotherapy, or seawater therapy if you prefer to make it easy, is to increase blood circulation. Swimming or bathing in warm seawater has been proven to improve circulation by restoring essential minerals depleted by stress, a poor diet and environmental poisons.

Why pay for all those expensive body scrubs and cleansers when you can by Sea Salt at the supermarket …

Magnesium in seawater may help to hydrate and improve the appearance of your skin. According to a study in the February 2005 edition of the “International Journal of Dermatology,” bathing in a magnesium-rich Dead Sea salt solution helps promote skin moisture. People with atopic dry skin, or dryness on the skin’s surface, submerged one forearm for 15 minutes in a bath solution containing 5 percent Dead Sea salt and the other forearm in regular tap water. Researchers discovered that the salt solution improved skin hydration and significantly reduced skin inflammation symptoms such as redness and roughness when compared to tap water. Observed skin benefits were attributed to the high magnesium content of the Dead Sea salt. So why not just go for a swim everyday if you can. If you can’t buy up the dead sea!. I’m not sure table salt will work the same but we did a little research and Epsom salts or Himalayan rock salts are the next best thing to Dead Sea salt.

The Mind and body overall…

As we previously stated the ocean has been used by many for generations to improve overall health and well-being. Swimming in the ocean activates the body’s healing mechanisms to fight conditions such as asthma, arthritis, bronchitis and inflammatory diseases, as well as common aches and pains. Magnesium-rich seawater purportedly can also relax your muscles, reduce stress and help induce sleep. Magnesium is known depress nerves to relieve nervous irritability for an increased sense of calmness. So more on our mental state you ask? Oceans can bring a mental shift in the way we perceive our lives, teaching us about calmness, depth, intensity, harmony and open-mindedness.

Even walking on the bare foot on the sand is said to neutralise the impact of free radicals in our bodies as sand contains minerals required by humans on a daily basis. So perhaps those trips to the beach you keep putting of as you don’t want sand in the car or the kids are too much of a hassle to pack up in the car to get there should become a thing of the past. The ocean is amazing in more ways than one. The fact that this powerful beast has a soft sensitive side to it shows the symbiosis of nature.

Here at A Mind of Its Own we are sold that the Ocean is more than just a place for sports, tanning and source of food. The more time we spend on the shores and the seas surrounding this great land the more we are convinced that the ocean can heal anything alongside other methods and practices. So to answer the question of actual curing abilities or placebo effect? You be the judge, take the time and head to the beach. Until next time we’ll leave you with a little quote from our dear friend Plato. “The sea cures all ailments of man.” – Plato.

Help is on the way…

Previously on A Mind of Its Own… Colonel Mustard was killed in the library with a candlestick, who did it? Stay tuned for another fine Murder, Mystery episode of Cluedo. We told you that it had a Mind of Its Own and this week is another double dose for the fans. Yes that’s right you are getting two for the price of one without the free set of steak knives as we dive headfirst into yet another hot topic sweeping the land down under. We’ve come home to focus on a hot spot in the media, in an attempt to try to get to the bottom of it.

What could be so important that we’ve abandoned our Trump bashing campaign for the week and headed back to the beautiful coastline and seaside towns of northern New South Wales? Stay tuned as we delve into the mystery that is perplexing the nation and had our rapt attention as A Current Affair blasted out from the television set last night. We know, we know and can hear all you real Journalists right now, ACA are a bunch of has been, wannabe hacks who don’t actually report real news. We partly agree with you as they don’t really show both sides of the story in most cases.

However sitting back last night sipping an over priced whiskey our attention was drawn to the story flashing across the screen before us. When you think of major news, people normally think of murder, drugs, controversy and anything that is basically going sell. Yes sex sells but sex scandals sell even more, throw in some drugs and you’ve almost got a Pulitzer prize-winning piece. What was moving across the plasma screen before us had none of these exciting topics that would sell papers or magazines in fact it’s often a topic ignored by the masses.

Like an ostrich burying its head in the sand we often take the approach to environmental issues of, If I can’t see it, it doesn’t exist. It’s safe to say that the blood pressure went up, our face flushed red, hair stood on end and veins started popping as we watched our fellow Australians whine about something that is not only good for our nation, our environment and ensuring a future for the generations to come. What was it you asked?, it was something so simple, so common and so down right stupid we question what was more infuriating? The people arguing and whining about it or the fact that we were getting annoyed with them.

Plastic bloody bags! They are destroying the environment one trips to the shops at a time. So when Woolworth’s and Coles decide to do the right thing and Ban the bag what happens? We start crying about it, like little kids watching the lion king for the first time and Mustafa’s just died. To make matters worse we then take our frustration out on the poor staff just doing their jobs. What’s the anger all about? The fact that you now have to pay 15 cents or a couple of bucks for a bag you can use over and over again? or the fact that we are a lazy forgetful nation who like to whine about things for the sake of it?

For those of you who have an issue with the banning of the plastic bag as you rely on them so heavily to line your bin or take your kitty litter out. There are such things as biodegradable bags which are much nicer on our environment. Take a trip down to any river, storm water drain, beach or creek and it won’t take you long to find either something plastic or a plastic bag left behind by some inconsiderate person who has no regard for anyone else but themselves in their pursuit of fun. We can guarantee they’ll be the first person whining when their children can’t go to the beach or swim in the river due to some environmental issue.

Across the world tones upon tones of plastic waste is floating through our waterways, poisoning our aquatic species and killing mammals as they become trapped or a piece is lodged in their airways. For those of you willing to look you can see it daily on social media. Pictures of whales, seals, dolphins, fish and even penguins to name a few dying from our plastic products that have not been disposed of properly or are left to break down releasing toxic chemicals into our waterways. That doesn’t include the millions of land dwelling fauna who ingest plastic each year by accident.

We said the other day we wouldn’t preach, teach or push our opinions too heavily upon our readers but banning of the plastic bag by the major supermarket retailers is a step in the right direction. Where possible we provide you with the reason and why so below we have collated some additional information on why this is such a big step in the right direction not just for Australia but the entire world. Whilst it might inconvenience some people in the short-term in the long run it might stop our house of cards from crashing down so soon.

Plastic bags tend to disrupt the environment in a serious way. They get into soil and slowly release toxic chemicals. They eventually break down into the soil, with the unfortunate result being that animals eat them and often choke and die. In our waterways they breakdown creating microplastic fibres that are ingested by marine life. A lot marine life that you the reader then buy at the local fish monger. Like the fish we then ingest the fibres and so the vicious cycle continues.

Being a big fan of infographic pictures we’ve included the one below to give you an understanding of just how much waste we produce and then dump in our environment each year.

While we are not experts by any means it is pretty self-explanatory what will happen to our environment if we don’t start reducing our production of single use plastic and or plastic bags in general. In an effort to ensure there is a future for everyone A Mind of Its Own is fully onboard with banning the bag and supports the major retailers in pushing this movement. So to all those that are complaining their shopping is now made harder, take five and think about the alternative if we don’t make the push that even though it’s a little late in happening is still a positive step in the right direction.

Ban the bag! Stop complaining Australia! We are building for a future where we have an environment that our children can play in without fear of toxic poisoning. Until next week join the revolution and get yourself some reusable bags for your next trip to the supermarket. A special hats off to Coles and Woolies for leading the way now it’s up to the other major retailers to follow suit and start reducing plastic packaging in general. Save the whales harpoon some plastic!!!

The link below is a good overview of the damage plastic does to our environment.

https://greenerideal.com/news/environment/0613-how-do-plastic-bags-affect-our-environment/

Assemble the Empire…

In an effort to keep the momentum going, A Mind of Its Own is looking into the future, not in a Marty McFly back to the future kind of way. Mainly our future and where we are going as a movement, as a blog and more importantly as the think tank we feel we’ve become. Our intention is not to preach, educate or push our opinions but to let your mind wander in amazement at the world we live in as you (The reader) switch on the old noggin and think about the topics before you. We look to inspire and provoke the creative side of your brain in an effort to create conversation and wonderment.

No less than two years ago you would not be reading any of this. All writing from this particular writer was personal and off-limits even to those closest to him. Confidence in himself and the ability to write something interesting let alone thought-provoking were at an all time low, in fact truthfully they were non-existent. Besides those points the mindset to put writing out there for others to read and share. Wind the clock forward two years and you have numerous blogs and a book on the way. What changed you ask? A lot changed, but the biggest change of all was acceptance of who he was and where he was headed.

The first part was admitting the need for help and admitting to himself that he needed to allow his brain to just let the thoughts flow. The minute that acceptance was granted was the moment the thoughts became clear and the mind was finally not just a jumble of thoughts but a myriad of possibilities. The creative portion of the brain was finally allowed to operate freely without any restrictions or fears to where those thoughts might lead once they were put on paper of listed in a word document or google document before being divulged to the public by way of blog post.

It didn’t happen in one instantaneous moment like a flash of lightning striking the earth, it took a long hard journey with many ups and downs. Before the rebuilding of the mind, body and soul could commence. It was something that wouldn’t have been possible without the support of family and friends. There were changes that needed to be made to the mindset and acceptance that a busy mind isn’t a curse. Out of chaos often comes beauty from rebirth, like a phoenix rising from the ashes. In this case it was a creative ability that was willing to throw caution to the wind and put fear of judgement aside. To allow you to read thoughts, feelings, fears, opinions and options open to the world.

What came from that is the blog you are now hopefully subscribed to including this one you are reading and several extracts from a book that will be released later in the year. Does that make us a little scared? Yeah more than a little… Even for the most extroverted person in the world it is still often hard to put yourself out there for all to see and judge. I guess that’s one of the things wrong with Human beings we are often quick to judge. At some point we all need to learn ourselves before we judge someone else. But who are we to instruct on how you should treat others heck, if the government won’t apologise properly for the stolen generation why shouldn’t we or you for that matter pass judgement?

We’ve worked out that A Mind of Its Own is not for everyone, it’s often a little quirky and like the name it does often deviate off on a tangent, taking a mind of its own. We head down the rabbit hole like Alice in Wonderland with each and every topic pouring our heart and soul into every piece whilst giving it a touch of A Mind of It’s Own magic to make it even the darkest topics seem a little lighter as they flow from your screen to little part of mind that gets you thinking and questioning everything you already knew about life.

So what are we going to do with A Mind of Its Own and where to from here? Well if we are honest we’d like to get the public involved a little more. We’d like to get requests for topics from our loyal and supportive fans. There are plans to throw a podcast into the mix and we’ll be showcasing a lot more of this writers coming debut novel. One thing we can promise you is that we’ll continue to write with our no holds bar, comedic style about topics that may fly under the radar or more specifically your radar.

We’ll expand our reach utilising social media platforms and hopefully word of mouth from you our readers in order to grow our user base. Before heading to Washington and challenging Trump for the presidency. We figure we’ll challenging him to an old-fashioned duel on the white house lawn. Back to reality we just hope to continue to bring you some good writing that can make you laugh and forget about your worries while you focus on the house of cards that is the world. One strong wind and it’s all coming down around us.

In an attempt to answer the question of where A Mind of Its Own is going. Well we could have done that in one word. Nowhere. Well nowhere in terms of it’s not going to disappear. If anything it will grow and we’ll spread across platforms, mediums and where ever else we can make our presence felt. Who knows we might even get some t-shirts made for you to purchase should you want to support your favourite new blog on the net and keep a roof over our heads. Ok now we are getting ahead of ourselves but as they say… Dream big or go home.

So as we assemble our empire and prepare to take over the world one blog at a time. You’ve been fortunate enough to read this weeks installment of Doc Brown’s favourite blog from the future. We’ve joined forces to with Marty McFly to ensure you’re aren’t chicken and continue reading. Until next week thanks once again and we hope you’ve enjoyed a little insight into the thoughts on where we’d like to take this here blog and any other outlets of media we decide to pursue in getting our public service announcements to the greater public. Until the next episode jump in the DeLorean and take a trip down memory lane or into the future.

Rattling the keys to the Kingdom…

After last week’s excitement of space camp… ahhem… Oh yes sorry we meant Space Force, we scratched our heads and wondered how we could ever top such an insight into the most exciting thing to happen to America since the Olsen twins discovered puberty and Trump asked Mexico to build a wall between them. With the world around us crumbling into a pastry chefs worst nightmare we went to the true powers of the world, google, to give us an idea for this weeks Mind of Its Own.

We thought we might find some inspiration from recent travels or something in the news to write about but it seems the world we live in (The writers at this here institution) has become a little boring over the last couple of weeks. Have we used all our best material? and like a dressmaker before the big show are left with something that looks more like a potato sack than a dress for a special occasion. Unless it’s a potato sack race then you’ve nailed it better than you ever dreamed of.

So after a lot of procrastinating, typing deleting and repeating the process we decided to focus this week on the wonderful world of dieting. That’s right you heard it here first, we are tackling diets like a fat kid on a cupcake. We’ll trim the fat, exercise your… Minds unless there is some new fad where you lose weight from staring at a screen while you read online blogs? Heck there probably is you know and some clown is making millions off it. Ok maybe not millions but he or she is living comfortably in their beachside house or apartment having never spent a day in their life at university, but all of a sudden has become suitably qualified to give, yes you the reader dietary advice.

Where to start??? Atkins, usually A comes first or should we head straight to the latest fad, what was it again? High Fat? Yeah you heard us high fat and if it’s not high fat it’s some hybrid paleo/neolithic/vegan diet where you only eat things raw. Surely soon enough we’ll just go for the foragers diet that consists of nuts and berries with the occasional feed of campfire cooked meat of whatever variety you can get your hands on. There’d certainly be a lot of lean, malnourished people in the world who would be happy with results.

Like a fisherman on the high seas we baited the hooks, cast our nets and trawled the internet to find out just how many diets are listed online. We didn’t have to go far to find sites promising to make you trim, taut and looking terrific in weeks not months just like any infomercial will promise you. Started to remind us of all the ridiculous workout contraptions that have need produced over the years. The office favourite is still the shake weight and please do yourself a favour and head on over to YouTube type in Shake Weight and enjoy the laughs.

Back to our diets from Keto, to Paleo they all have one thing in common! That would be the ultra fit person spruiking them. You can guarantee this person works out five to seven days a week, has always worked out and already eats quite a healthy diet. He or she won’t be found in the line at the local Colonel to get a bucket of the colonel’s original recipe in yet another attempt to crack the 11 secrets herbs and spices. They certainly aren’t propping up the local bar as they down their 10th schooner in an effort to out drink Macca from work who’s been talking big onsite all week as the concrete base to yet another greek monolith home is built in Carlton.

After further googling to understand terminology that has clearly been coined by today’s generation the team finally started to get a handle on the various weight loss diets available to the average Joe. We visited both mens and womens sites offering us insight into how each of the diets on offer for free, introductory prices or a fee that will have you selling a kidney just to participate and die of starvation. Confusion aside some of the diets started to sound appealing particularly when they promise better focus, control and long term benefits to the mind, body and soul.

DASH, Flexitarian, Weight Watchers, MIND, Atkins, Keto, Paleo, CSIRO, Pollo something or rather, hell even religions are offering belief based diets. Whilst some diets are clearly needed for people who are intolerant to certain things we pretty much came up with a diet for everything you could potentially think of. Remember Jared from Subway? I don’t but apparently in an effort to lose weight be dropped the Big Macs, Zinger Burgers and Whoopers replacing them with a healthier fast food option of sugar packed subway sandwiches.

Now we could give you a brief outline on each of the diets we came across but 94 pages later I fear we would have lost some of you to starvation. We know once you pick up that smart device and start reading you can’t put it down until you’ve got your weekly fill of A Mind of Its Own so we chose not to write 94 brief paragraphs outlining all the diets Wikipedia listed. It did get us thinking though that perhaps we could start a distraction diet where you distract yourself whenever you feel the need to eat. Weight loss diet fad here we come. You get your money for nothing…

94 different diets out there categorised into 7 major subcategories and further subcategories in each. It’s amazing that scientist can come up with all this information on nutrition but still haven’t come up with a way to stop world hunger. I mean if people can choose to be polopescatarians surely we can choose to combat hunger for those less fortunate and don’t have a choice in their diet due to lack of shelter, money, food and water. No, no you continue to look at your who magazine, cleo, marie claire and ponder whether you look ok based on what hollywood tells you. Does Who magazine still exist?

So here’s some friendly Mind of Its Own advice!!! Unless you need to be on a diet for medical reason or you are vegetarian either by choice or because you can’t break down meat. Exercise regularly, eat things in moderation and be happy! Things could be far worse for you. If you are reading this life is already pretty damn good for you. You no doubt have a roof over your head, power, clean water, clothes, food in a refrigerator and most importantly access to a smart device. So like drinking wisely, diet right and take the time to create your smoothie to go outside and visit nature it’s that place outside your house with trees and water.

That’s a wrap for another week! We dipped our toe in the deep end and chickened out when it came to diets. There is just far too many choices for us to decide which ones to cover and what isn’t going to put you all into a deep sleep through sheer boredom. We hope you’ve managed to digest your way through our skimming of a topic that really doesn’t hold much of an interest to anyone here. Until next week, eat, drink and be merry and if you can’t be merry be Mary…

Ducks Fly Together…

I dug out some old pieces that were written over the years and posted on various different forms of media for you guys and for us as well to ensure we are putting as much content up as possible for you guys to read, comment on or take the piss out of the team here at A Mind of Its Own. This just happens to be one of my favourite topics to talk about with people as I somewhat consider myself an expert on this theory having to practice it more than I’d like to admit.

To start out those that know me will have seen it somewhere if you hang around me long enough. I was explaining to a colleague the other day a theory that has helped me out through both my professional and amateur sporting careers. It’s something that has helped me on a day to day basis both on and off the sporting field and holds a lot of merit for those who like me can be short tempered at times.

Let’s not beat around the bush, we all have good days and bad days no matter where we are, on the sporting field, at home or at work. In the office though our patience is often tested sometimes it’s an hourly event. We all have those colleagues who try our patience without even realising it. To explain the theory right we need to go back to the beginning where I was introduced to it.

I got into coaching in my early 20’s and was fortunate enough to work quite closely with someone who has gone on to do bigger and better things than I ever dreamed of. He has done very well for himself on the world stage and can proudly say he’s coached at the top level of the sport Including Commonwealth and Olympic Games. I couldn’t have asked for a better mentor to learn coaching philosophies and how to the get the most out of the athletes I was working with. He also taught me that everything in the sporting arena can translate across into the business world and help me in my professional life. I would often find myself frustrated and getting quite annoyed when results or decisions weren’t going our way or as a team we were performing well below our potential.

In my first year under his tutelage I remember the first lessons he taught me always take notes and observe as much as you can. The second lesson was that you will learn something from everyone you come across and you will mould your coaching style by adapting little bits and pieces from each and every one of them and finally using the biggest weapon you have and that is you. I’ve taken this approach across to the business world particularly when it comes to managing and mentoring staff who report into me.

I was helping out with some national league games doing filming and just getting a feel for what it was like to coach and be involved at the open age level. In the dugout before one game, I remember it like it was yesterday, I looked down at the bench to where his notepad lay open with his notes on the game, plans, plays etc. It was the first time I’d notice it but it wouldn’t be the last. At the top of the page in BIG capital letters was the word DUCK underlined twice. At the time I didn’t think much of it but over time as we progressed through practice matches and training sessions in the build up towards national’s curiosity started to get the better of me and I started to wonder why DUCK made it to the top of his page or the whiteboard before every game.

We were sitting in his office before training one day working on the training schedule for the weeks leading into the tournament whilst discussing formations, playing styles, tactics and all things hockey. Around the walls there were a couple of whiteboards that had drills and training schedules as well as individual athlete programs written up and once again there it was DUCK. It was at that point that I bit the bullet and decided I needed the answers to my questions.

Before answering my questions I was grilled on what I knew about Ducks before he would proceed in telling me anything about what is now known as the DUCK Theory and the premise behind it. So from me to you… Firstly ask yourself what you know about ducks and how you would describe them.

When you think of a duck swimming on the top of the water they are graceful, almost gliding majestically through the water but most of all they appear calm, yet under the water’s surface it’s a different story. Those little flippers are flapping away furiously to propel themselves along evenin the strongest of currents. No matter where you are, what you are doing or whether it be as a coach, player or in your everyday life no matter what is going on we need to remain professional and keep our calm. If we can’t do that then we think of the DUCK calm on the surface and furious below where no one can see.

It wasn’t until my second year coaching that I truly found the value in the duck theory in our first game at nationals there was a critical moment in the game where a decision was made that I feel changed the outcome and quite possibly our final standings in the tournament. I remember our manager at the time asking me to keep my cool which probably made things worse telling me to calm down is not the best way to make me calm or keep my cool. With 5 minutes left in the game down 3-2 with the ascendency we scored the equaliser only to have the umpire rule it to be dangerous and therefore a free hit to the opposition. I remember watching the game tape over and over that night as we planned for game two, thinking to myself that one little mistake made by the umpire had cost my team at minimum a point if not three. It was a goal clear as day any day of the week. I’d tried to speak with the umpire after the game to question the decision only to be told I wasn’t allowed to speak with the officials. That further infuriated me as a coach, I wanted answers, I wanted to understand the reasoning behind the decision most of all I wanted some accountability.

I woke the next day still infuriated over something that was well and truly out of my control and went for a run with the assistant coach in an attempt to clear my head. After doing our recovery session as a team and going through the brief for the day’s game we prepared to head off to the ground. I walked into my room to find a rubber duck, a roll of duct tape and bag of lollies shaped as ducks on my bed. Laughter came from the kitchen as our manager walked in clearly proud of her joking reminder to me that I need to convey calm on the outside even when my blood is boiling away on the inside. To me it was a reminder that I needed to convey professionalism and lead by an example.

How I react on the sidelines has a direct impact on what happens on the field. From that day on even before a game started whether it was a club match or at the representative level, if I was coaching or playing DUCK could always be found somewhere on me. It was always on the top of my notepad, written on a piece of tape stuck to my stick or plastered on the whiteboard in the change rooms.

As someone that quite often suffers from white line fever it has been a good practice in keeping my temper in check on the sporting field as well as keeping the hulk from making appearances in the office when dealing with frustrating, infuriating people who just don’t quite understand. What is it that they say? Shit flows down not up?

Using DUCK at work has saved me countless trips to the bosses office, a lot of time not having to waste energy on people who just don’t listen, understand or even want to understand what it is that you are trying to achieve. It’s also put a halt to endless arguments at home and most of all allowed me to take a breath, look, listen and weigh up the situation before responding allow me to de-escalate what could roll into a full blown Chernobyl. They didn’t nickname me Angry for no reason but since the DUCK i have managed to keep it calm, cool and collected. Well most of the time, sometimes I just get pushed off the edge and unlike the Duck I am somewhat a flightless bird in these rare instances.

I now pass the duck theory on to you all… In times of frustration think what would a DUCK do? and just be more like the DUCK on the water’s surface… Graceful and Elegant! Until next time, Duck, Duck, Goose!

I Feel Naked Without My Cell…

What a week, the world is buzzing, some things happened, A Mind of Its Own added to its staff. Although we are still trying to work out what role he will play in the organisation other than mascot. Perhaps he can start out in the mail room and work his way up. All I know is he’s getting paid more than me. I know how expensive those premium dog biscuits are I see the transaction on my credit card statement when the other half returns to the office.

So we promised you not one, but two posts this week and we joked about throwing in some steak knives and no seriously we are giving you steak knives. We are however sticking to our promise and delivering a second post. Which will come first you ask? We’ll we have no idea it just depends on how quickly they are edited and what the topics are. Hold on to your hats, grab your gin and tonic and settle in for another adventure with the team as we take you on another journey through this wonderful world.

Saturday night in Australia, something that happens every week, Saturday comes after Friday it’s a no brainer and we are pretty sure it’s on some Gregorian calendar not sure who invented it and nor do we have the time and energy to research it for you. If you are interested just type something into google search folks or ask Siri. Back to the blog, it was your typical Saturday night in Aus, the footy was on with all the various codes splashed across free to air and pay tv respectfully. Social media was once again buzzing and we were busy tapping away at a keyboard while sipping on a glass of Pappy Van Winkle. Oh wait that was just a dream we don’t have disposable incomes here to waste on a bottle of whiskey that is double some people’s salary each month.

While we watched the Swans finally get the chocolates on the hallowed turf of the Sydney Cricket Ground after only managing to string together one or two home game wins so far this season. We promised we’d provide statistics if they were available. Back to the point of this blog. While I did the somewhat manly thing for a change and watched the football, millions of women and men, I know there were plenty of blokes watching their dreams disappear across the pond in London, we received several Facebook Messenger messages regarding the fading dreams.

With millions of viewers tuned in, both men and women watched their dreams disappear with the utterance of just two words. For the ladies that watched on in awe it was the realisation that the dark prince, no wait that was Dracula, that the bad boy of British Royal Family had finally been wrangled and was now a married man. The men saw there dreams of marrying a strong, gorgeous lawyer who knows how to keep a secret and stands up for man disappear in an instant. It’s at this moment that we all remind ourselves that even rangas need love.

So with the latest royal wedding in full flight over on channel nine, our team were way too engrossed in the football to even know what was going on. A quick check of social media told us all we needed to know. Rachel Zane married the ginger royal party boy in a large ceremony that wasn’t at Buckingham palace but at some grand church where a bloke spoke for apparently way too long as he gave his gospel style sermon to the Royals. A lot of Aussies got caught up in wedding fever and hosted dinner parties. Let’s be honest folks it was an excuse to have a piss up but that’s ok in our book.

We’ve just been told that the lovely looking lady marrying Prince Party Fanta Pants is not Rachel Zane and she is certainly not a lawyer. Apparently like millions of men across the globe I’ve been living in dreamland and she’s an actress not a lawyer. This young ladies real name is Meghan Markle and oooweee is she remarkable. Que the roll of eyes and bad dad joke abuse from my wife but hey it had to be said and I’m sure I’m not the only writer to find solace in a dad joke about her last name.

So on to the ceremony… Based on the photos on instagram it was a star wars themed wedding? Prince Party Fanta Pants was wearing his best Imperial officers uniform flanked by his loyal storm troopers and Commanding Officer the other brother that no one remembers because he was too well behaved. Dumbo got an invite? Oh no that’s Prince Charles sorry old chap those ears are getting saggy and bigger with age. The imperial officers uniforms look sharp and before we know it Princess Leia is walking down the aisle escorted by Big Ears himself, it’s at this point I start scanning the crowd looking for Noddy and the rest of the gang. Maybe they’re shy but I’m sure they are there.

It looks like hollywood has come to the party, the cast of suits are there too taking up the back, back rows as are the rest of the star wars cast including Chewie, sorry again our mistake it was just Camilla. None of this actually happened at all, if it had, it would have been the wedding of the year and worth actually watching if it did. Instead there was a wardrobe change at some point and they exited the church looking very dapper. Gone was Meghan’s flour sack princess Leia dress now replaced by a lovely white grown. Prince Fanta Pants has also lost his Imperial officers uniform and has found himself a James Bond tuxedo and is looking sharp.

They jump into a vintage car and drive off to live happily every after, after they throw a big party and Lizzy has a few too many glasses of bubbly before begging the DJ to play the Macarena. That actually happened the car, I mean not Lizzy busting our to the Macarena or doing the worm across the dance floor. It was an amazing prototype Jaguar E-Type roadster, we knew it was an open top car but had to do a little research in order to share with you the exact make and model. What amazed us the most about this vintage Jag was that it had been retrofitted with an electric engine and was as quiet as a mouse, not that you would have been able to hear it over the roar of the crowd as Prince Fanta Pants and the newly appointed Duchess of Sussex left the church and headed off to the reception.

There were plenty of key moments throughout the ceremony from watching one of Macaulay Culkin’s kids hold Miss Markle’s’ dress train as she walked down the aisle. The resemblance to the young actor from the hit Home Alone movies was uncanny. To the BBC taking a swipe at Donald Trump. Most of the Royals were there and at the end of the day there was love in the air. The Duchess of Sussex and Prince Fanta Pants were loving throughout the entire ceremony as they held hands and whispered sweet nothings to each other and then there was the kiss the world had been waiting for. The one that would shatter the hopes and dreams of men and women around the world.

Megan (Rachel to most of us men) was now off the market and Harry (Prince Fanta Party Pants also to us blokes) was also spoken for. So as people shed a tear the world over for something that would only ever of happened in their dreams. The Royal Brat come good had finally met the woman of his dreams. Here at A Mind of Its Own we can only look on in awe that we were able to write this piece without watching one snippet of the Royal Love Fest. Instagram pretty much wrote this for us. So from all of us here at A Mind of Its Own we wish Prince Fanta Pants and the Duchess all the happiness in the world and truly do hope they live happily ever after because who doesn’t love a good story about a Prince finding his Princess on the set of a tv show. So until next week we’ve hope you’ve enjoyed the Royal Wedding addition of a Mind of Its own as much as we’ve enjoyed writing it for you. Oh and Lizzy if you are reading this we are sorry about calling Harry, Prince Fanta Pants.