Tag: watching

I’ll Be Your Man…

Another week and we have to report the fires are still burning, the air quality in Canberra is still worse than Beijing. But we aren’t complaining things could be a lot worse and we could be burning along with the rest of the country. With New Year’s having been and gone many of us would have set resolutions aligning with our hopes, dreams and goals all in the aim of bettering ourselves as we enter into a new year and a new decade. Whether it was dropping a few kilos or learning to speak Spanish, whatever your resolution what people should really be resolving to is to stick to the goals they set for themselves. Break them down into smaller achievable targets that are realistic rather than going for the big bang approach which has been proven to rarely work. With that said it’s time we moved on to this weeks blog and a topic we are sure a lot of people around the world are interested in hearing about.

Dating is often a hard and soul crushing experience, particularly in the age of the internet, outrage porn, self help books, blogs and podcasts, post industrial, post feminist world. There are no longer clearly defined roles of in today’s society. That goes for both men and women, it also goes for those who don’t identify as either but rather as a helicopter or something else entirely. So when it comes to dating what are the roles, what are the responsibilities and more importantly what are the rules? We live by the rule of consent here at A Mind of Its Own, but we aren’t talking about sexual consent that is a given and defined by the line, No, Means NO! We are talking about consent to allow yourself to be comfortable and be yourself with people you want to date. As a good friend put being authentic is the best thing we can do to attract like minded and like value people.

What is often not outlined in the dating game, and let’s be honest it is often a game, because we can not and do not allow ourselves to be ourselves, is that unless you are happy with yourself and who you are as a person, you aren’t going to attract the people you want to be with. You can read as many blogs, books and listen to podcasts on dating advice but the crux of dating is that you need to be comfortable with who you are and what you want in life. Plain and simple put yourself first and yes it’s ok to be selfish and be who you want to be, not who you feel you should be for others. Whether you are male, female, a helicopter or identify as something else entirely you need to be happy with yourself and as we said earlier the happier you are with yourself the more likely you are to attract the people you want.

At the age of 33 the Boss man had everything going for him, he was happily married, he had a great job (Still has that job but not sure about how great it is), he was planning for the future including a little family of his own. He was in a good place mentally, physically he was looking OK (May have got a little Fappy, for those playing along at home that’s Fat Happy) but could have gone to the gym a little more. Come his 34th birthday though everything had changed, life as he had known it ceased to exist. The last thing he thought he’d be doing was dating again. In a sense he was starting again, for a man that wants a family he was at rock bottom, starting all over again scared the absolute shit out of him. He questioned everything, his hopes, dreams and ambitions. Would he have a family of his own?, Would he ever find that someone special again?. There was a lot of self doubt and a lot of destructive behavior that he thought he had left behind in his early 20’s. Over time he would realise he was being a massive douche and well that’s how we ended up with this blog.

What a shallow and wonderful world dating in the 21st century has become, it’s an adventure all on it’s own. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Plenty of Fish, eHarmony, Happn and not to mention the specific hook up apps that are available. You name it and there is a dating site or application for it. But what’s it really like to date in today’s modern age of screen time and instant gratification. Well hopefully we can answer all the questions and more as we dive head first into the world of dating, we won’t be taking any self help books with us or cheesy pick up lines but we will be giving you a first hand account of what it’s like out there in the big wide world of dating. We won’t pull any punches or lay down and just take (Pun intended) we’ll give it to you straight. Rejection and all, it’s all part of dating and there is no point holding back anything as it would take away from the real experience.

Firstly it was worked out quite quickly that you need certain things to create a dating profile regardless of whether you are an attractive person or not, we’ll get to why being attractive gives you a leg up shortly. Firstly gym selfies seem to be a must, if you are male a topless flexing pic is always a good idea and if you are female a sports bra and some weights if you don’t do the gym then a beach selfie with your assets on display seems to be the go, helicopters we’ll assume shining rotor blades and if you identify as something else then take from one of the first two examples. Other things you will need is a photo of you drinking, a mandatory boozy photo seems to feature quite heavily just to show people you are fun, a photo with a dog is a must and if you don’t have one borrow one, we have two here that are available for hire throughout the year. They just need a little scratch here and there behind the ear and are very food motivated. Apparently a sense of humour is required and you will also need to have a primary school reading level to make sense of some of the bios you come across but more often than not, people do not list a lot about themselves it’s all part of the supposed mystery or they just post a shitload of emojis that make no sense whatsoever.

As we progress further into the blog we’ll list some of the acronyms we’ve had to work out or have deciphered for us by the boys and girls over at the National Office of Intelligence. We’ll also give you some tips whether they are helpful or not is a different thing but they do say those that can’t do teach. Dating what’s its purpose? Solely to find a mate, another half, someone to spend our time with, someone to share our hopes and dreams with. It’s a scary prospective whether you are just setting out on your journey or have been there and done that before but failed to get the t-shirt. When we spoke to the bossman the last time he dated Tinder and all the other apps weren’t around or were just coming in and solely used for hookups. He was part of the old school where you had to go and make a connection with someone face to face. You didn’t get to text back and forth for ages before you actually meet the person. As we developed a severe case of Tinderitis from swiping we began to uncover some things about the dating world in a town like Canberra. Firstly, it’s small and we say small we mean small, one of those places where everyone knows someone and there a less than 6 degrees of separation. Secondly it becomes easy to develop a reputation if all you are doing is sleeping around.

It’s also no surprise that you will come across people you know, but more importantly you will stumble upon people you’ve always found attractive or had fanciful flights of ending up with. Imagine joining up to online dating and having one of the first people you come across be your wife who’s just left you. It happened to the bossman and is probably why he went through such a hate phase of the fairer sex. Here’s the thing about dating in the 21st century, you will feel shallow at some point throughout your dating experience. But let’s be honest, if you don’t you may be somewhat narcissistic and could do with a trip or two to the psych. Looks are the initial attraction, we’ll always admit that, you are going to swipe on people that appeal to you from the list of things that you find physically attractive when you are looking for your for your ideal mate.

It’s biology, plain and simple, we all have that list of things that attracts us to people from a physical perspective. From there once you’ve swiped or liked someone, it’s a guessing game as to whether they will tick any of the other boxes on our ideal mate wish list. What one person finds physically appealing another may not, we are all different and are attracted to different things. Physical attraction is the initial attraction but with most people who aren’t just looking for the old “Netflix and chill” there are then the other attributes that are important. Intelligence, values, morals etc all play a part in what makes us select the people we do to be apart of our lives.

At some point you are going to feel rejection, you are going to wonder why after swiping your thumb or index finger down to the bone why you aren’t getting matches or why people aren’t writing back. You will wonder whether it’s you or something you have written, you’ll question yourself over and over again as you go around in the little dance circle that is internet/online dating. Firstly you need to work out why you are actually there, are you after a temporary fix, some gratification to know you are still attractive and still able to attract someone, are you actually looking for someone to share your life with or are you just there to get your rocks off and establish no emotional connections whatsoever. It’s all about intentions. No matter whether it’s dating, friendships, work, whatever it is your intentions will set the tone of what happens. You might hide your intentions behind an act but at the end of the day your true intentions will shine through.

We spoke about self-help dating books briefly in the blog and whilst there is a raft of them they will all give you different advice. Some will tell you to ignore women and play hard to get, others will give you a raft of pick lines and there are the ones that tell you to just be yourself and be vulnerable and try not to come across as needy. Ok so we’ve only read one book like that and it was Models by Mark Mansen. Yes the same guy that wrote The Subtle Art and Everything is F*cked wrote a book on dating long before both of those. In fact that’s how he got his start providing dating advice to men. Reading through his book it’s all about intention, honesty and being vulnerable and we break it down even further it’s about being yourself, the true person you are not the mask wearing that so many people throw on through their neediness and insecurities. While being honest is often hurtful people will thank you for it in the long run. If you are looking for a dating book, we do recommend you Models, the principles displayed in this book are applicable to all aspects of your life, not just dating.

When we asked the Boss-man what dating was like he summed it up in one word, Crap, dating makes you feel crappy if you haven’t worked on yourself and understand your values and what you want from life. The boss-man understood this but had not worked on himself enough to ensure he was ready for what was to come, for the rejection. In a sense he was needy, he was seeking validation and approval because he’d been hurt and didn’t have a good relationship with himself. Upon meeting a girl who ticked some or all of the boxes he would become over invested and despite the fact that he didn’t realise it he was being needy. The girl or girls he was invested in would often find this a turn off and split and run for the hills. Because they were less invested than he was, his over investment became a massive turn off.

Sitting with the Boss-man while he sipped a whisky and swiped away on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and Happn we began to question how serious some people were about finding a significant other. Yes we know there are those that are on there for the sole purpose of instant gratification who are also slightly narcissistic, but then there are those people who have insecurities within themselves that don’t even post a picture of themselves. That’s the thing about the world of online dating you end up with people from all walks of life looking for all types of things. From ONS which is a One Night Stand, to people in open marriages, couples looking for a threesome, the Netflix and chill crowd, it’s a minefield to navigate and when people don’t put at least one picture of themselves, it’s like a lucky dip at the school fete. As it has so often been said you’re values determine your behavior when it comes to dating. That’s the entire point YOUR values determine your behavior not what you think others want, your values will ensure you do what is best for you when it comes to dating.

One thing people struggle with is the ability to be open and honest, to just be themselves and just say what they want particularly when it comes to sex. Women in particular feel they’ll be judged for wanting just sex and nothing more, they worry they’ll develop a reputation and it’s understandable given that for centuries, we (Men) have made them feel that way and in some cases made them sexually repressed. Online dating has allowed women to explore their sexuality and feel a little more comfortable while they do so but until we as a society can make them feel truly safe they’ll continue to be a little less honest about what they want for fear of being labelled a slut or worse, particularly in a small town like Canberra. Throw all that into online dating and you start to get a good idea of why it is such a minefield. It’s not just women who do it though men are the masters of doing it, it all comes back to intentions and sooner or later your true intentions will come to light.

There are no rules to online dating, so once you’ve matched with someone there is nothing left to do but start a conversation. There are many opinions on how you should start a conversation and what you should and shouldn’t say but at the end of the day it’s not what you say or how you say it but again the intention behind it. Just be open and honest and be yourself is the best advice we can offer you. You need to know what you are, and aren’t OK with and set those expectations for the start. If you aren’t into games then you need to be up front and let it be known you won’t tolerate games. According to several magazines, books, podcasts from relationship and dating experts women will actually find this more attractive. They say those that can’t do teach? Maybe that’s why we write a blog each week? Who knows but for now we’ll just continue to write about things that make people feel a little awkward.

What works for one person might not work for another, put yourself in comfortable environments, if you really want to get to know them don’t go into a crowded bar or pub where conversation is difficult the first time you meet them. Go for coffee or a walk, do something that allows you to have a conversation and really get to know them, that’ll tell you if you want to go on a second date or not unless all you really want is sex then do whatever has been working for you but again be open and honest about your intentions rather than playing the game and ghosting. Look we’ve all done it for whatever reason but we can guarantee you’ll feel much better about yourself just being honest with people about what it is exactly that you want. It’s partly why women often ask the question when you first starting talking to them “What exactly are you looking for from this?”. Time is precious so treat people with respect, don’t waste their time particularly if you wouldn’t like your time being wasted. That little empathy you’d want people to show you, you should be showing others it’s all part of being a decent human.

One question that comes up is when should you get off dating apps if you meet someone you like? Again it all comes down to intentions, you need to let that person know you are keen to see where it goes and that you are only interested in dating them so you can see where things go. From there, remove yourself from the online dating scene. What’s the worst that could happen? You end up right back on the dating apps and websites and hey we are all going to face rejection at some point in our life, some of us more than others but if you meet someone you want to get to know better and see where it goes remove yourself from online dating and be open about it. That’s our advice but you don’t need to follow it or listen to it for that matter, as the kids say you, do you! Again it’s all about your intentions.

So to sum it up online dating isn’t for everyone, it is often soul crushing and makes you feel shallower than the babies end of the local paddle pool and is more often than not fraught with twists, turns and upside down roundabouts you weren’t expecting. That’s not to say that you can’t meet people or that special someone through online dating, everyone has their own experience and will get something different out of it compared to friends or people you know who have or are currently dating. All we can say is that the more open, honest and yourself you are, the more likely you will attract the same qualities and values in a person. Your intentions and your values will define what and who you attract in the dating game. It’s like all things in life if your intentions are true and noble, you are open and honest with people and show some vulnerability you will attract the same.

Again we aren’t dating experts and probably shouldn’t be out here giving advice but we have been there, done that had the wedding band. Whilst the first time didn’t work out hopefully the second will and if not then third time lucky as they say. But until then we’ll follow our own advice and speak our truth, be a little vulnerable and be clear on our intentions. That’s all we can do and along the way, you lucky readers may get the odd hilarious dating story but we are in no rush to be in a relationship and at the end of the day we know the universe has a plan for us just like it does for you.

Until next week we hope you’ve all had a great start to 2020 and the new decade. It’s been tough for some of our fellow Australians who have lost people or houses in the bush fires and as we’ve done with the last couple of posts we urge you all to lean in anyway you can to help out in the community. For those of you dating and looking to find that special someone we hope 2020 is your year and if it’s not don’t give up there is someone out there for everyone. As always our advice is just that advice and we are by no means qualified to give dating advice other than the fact we are currently in the same situation as so many Australians, single and ready to mingle. So until next week we’ll sign off once again…

Love The Way You Lie…

We all have a past that’s the thing we need to understand, we need to work through and sometimes more than not we need to move past. That’s the thing about the past though it’s in the past, it has already happened and unless you’ve found a way to bend time and travel through it into the past there is not a goddamn thing we can do about it. What we can do though, is live in the gift that is now and make it so great that we have a grasp on what will become of the future, what we can do is make the most of the now as it will greatly impact what the future holds for us. As many a great philosopher and scholar has written we are able to mould the future to an image that most suits us, most suits our purpose.

With all the self help books and gurus in the world you would think by now that someone would have written a survival guide for getting through the day to day. We all experience things throughout our lives. Pain, death, loss, trauma, you name it and you will no doubt experience it at some point in your life. You’ll try to fix what you think is wrong with you or wrong with your life through various different means. You might try to fix it through reading the latest self help book about boosting your confidence or being a better person. Or opening up to pain, opening up to new ideas, new ways of thinking, a new you as all the guru’s books and bloggers will tell you and make you believe. Funny how a little bit of marketing can make you pick up a book, read a magazine and more importantly make you want to improve yourself.

Here at A Mind of Its Own we are all for the betterment of oneself and we encourage learning but does that need to come at the cost of who we truly are? Do we need to change who we are? Do we need to become someone different, someone we really aren’t or is it more a case that we don’t like who we truly are as a person and therefore are always searching to become a better person, a different person, a person that is as far away from our true self. A mask if you will to the public, a front that is put on to hide the real you, the one that stares back at you in the mirror that you lie about because the truth might just hurt you a little too much to accept. Where are the self help books that talk about that, that talk about how it’s ok being yourself and not needing to change.

Scouring the internet we searched and searched for a voice of truth, a voice that would say it’s ok but what we found were that people even the writers of these self help books don’t want to be themselves they found an excuse to believe in their own spin, their own hyperbole. Don’t get us wrong we’ve read our fair share around the office and the closest we’ve got to actually accepting some of the self help is Mark Manson. His style of writing and spin on the self help industry is somewhat refreshing in the fact he basically tells you not to give a fuck subtely. In his most recent book he tells us everything is fucked so in terms of telling it like it is he the closest we’ve come to someone telling us that its ok to be who you are and that things won’t change but here’s some tips and techniques on how to get around it all.

With social media and blog post everyone has become an expert on giving out advice about what and how people should live their lives. Every second person will give you their opinion on what you should do if your life falls into a heap, which books to read, which podcasts to listen to youtube videos that helped them get through a tough time in their lives. They tell you what you should eat, how much exercise you should do, how you should look after your mental health and the lack of educational degrees they have. Oh wait they won’t tell us about that as that would result in less followers and we couldn’t have that. Add to this we have the ramblers.

The social media ramblers who lives are posted across the internet and feel the need to document their entire life as well as telling you what you should be doing to be your best self and get yourself into that frame of mind to become that person you really want to be. These are the people that tend to flip and flop from one cause to another. They go through life bouncing from one place to another with little understanding of who they are and what they truly want. But they have a place in the self help guru guidance arena. Again, opinions are like arseholes everyone has one and the internet has allowed everyone to voice theirs.

So when someone writes the perfect self help book which is to tell everyone that it is more than ok to be yourself and that you are going to have good days and bad days, it’s called life. And life ladies and gentleman is always going to test you to make sure you know you are alive and that you will not be able to float through it, you will have to fight and sometimes you’ll have to get bloody both physically and mentally. You’ll want to give in from time to time but you’ll push through and you’ll actually learn a few truths about yourself that you hadn’t expected to learn or even knew about yourself. Had life not happened and you were forced to take a path and not know what could have happened would have learnt these lessons and things about yourself? Chances are highly unlikely.

After writing most of this blog we sent the team on a mission of exploration to watch the self help guru himself Mark Manson give a talk around his books and the inspiration and research that goes into writing a book for others. If this was a newspaper we may of had to write a retraction and eat our words. After reading his books and diving further into the research behind them it’s quite quickly apparent that the man has a good handle on the fact that life is F*#ked. It’s what you make of it right? We’ll yes and no, a lot of it has to do with psychology and the way we react to things that happen. A lot of it has to do with how we were raised, some of it is even genetic but what it all boils down to is the fact that as human beings we aren’t necessarily mentally equipped for the 21st century and all it has to offer.

We’ll talk about it a little more in next week’s blog but a lot of it has to freedom of choice and living standards alongside the fact that we now live in an interconnected world. All of this creates a social anxiety in which we aren’t often prepared for or know how to deal with on a day to day basis. We only see people on their perfect holidays, with their model girlfriends, having babies, buying a house or car and living out the lives in front of everyone else.

So we asked some hard questions of the team in an attempt to understand why we lie to ourselves and those around us, particularly when we’ve gone through something life changing. Something painful, soul crushing, soul destroying that changes us to be something we aren’t, someone we aren’t and wear a mask to the world. A lot of us choose to run, to hide and further mask our pain and discomfort with the world but for what benefit? A few minutes, hours or days of relief from the pain? Whatever it may be we all choose the path in which we walk and how we choose to react to a situation or event in our lives. Who’s to say it’s right or wrong other than you, we all decide what’s right for us in that moment but if we are going away from who we truly are at some point we’ll call ourselves out on it.

Or we’ll fall too far to save ourselves and become confused with what is reality and what is a lie. We’ll no longer wear the mask but the mask will wear us. We will have become that person we were trying so desperately to be instead of the person that we are because we are either scared of ourselves or so insecure in our own skin that we feel we need to be someone else altogether. By now we are just rambling but the point is this, throughout our lives we will all do it at some point, whether to impress people or make ourselves feel better. The key is to not get lost or entrenched so deep in the lie that it starts to become your reality and something that is far from the truth.

Just so you are aware this is not a self-help blog or the beginnings of a best seller this is and always will be A Mind of Its Own, a blog that will tell you all about the things people don’t want to tell you. We’ll write about the hard stuff, the political stuff, the down right dirty stuff and yeah from time to time we’ll provide you with some advice. Whether you choose to take it on board is up to you. The things we write and the opinions expressed throughout these posts are ours and ours alone. We will always try to be fair and give a voice to both sides of the story in order to let you make your own mind up. That’s part of the reasoning why we started A Mind of Its Own, we wanted to give a voice to the people who don’t have one and the topics that people would prefer are swept under the rug and not discussed.

We are a little public service announcement that no one really wants but everyone really needs. Our readers come from all walks of life and all have their own stories to tell. So when it comes to self-help and wanting to better your life. Leave it to the psychologists and people who have been to university to take advice from when it comes to bettering yourself. As for diet and exercise advice we also recommend you take it from someone trained not the local instagram lady who looks good in active wear who stole her program from her trainer and is now selling it for likes on the world wide web. We might often be a cynical bunch over here but we say a lot in jest we just feel strongly that things should be left to the professionals when it comes to matters of mental health and health in general.

So we’ll leave you for yet another week and remind you that next week’s blog will flow on from this weeks as we dive a little deeper into the psychology behind freedom of choice and how modern life gives us way too much choice that we just can’t cope with due to our brains not being able to process all the information we provide it. But that’s a story for next week’s a mind of it’s own. For now we’ll leave you with some lyrics from Passenger and wish you all a great weekend. Look after yourselves and take it easy hombres. From all of us here we wish you all the best in your weekend endeavours and make sure that if you decide to misbehave make sure you do it well. Ok peace out…

“When I was a kid the things I did were hidden under the grid, Young and naive I never believed that love could be so well hid, With regret I’m willing to bet and say the older you get, It gets harder to forgive and harder to forget, It gets under your shirt like a dagger at work,The first cut is the deepest but the rest still flipping hurt,You build your heart of plastic,Get cynical and sarcastic And end up in the corner on your own. Cause I’d love to feel love but I can’t stand the rejection, I hide behind my jokes as a form of protection, I thought I was close but under further inspection, It seems I’ve been running in the wrong direction”. – Passenger – The Wrong Direction.

Ghost Man On Third…

Well ladies and gentleman, we made it through yet another election period and like Steven Bradbury we’ve seen the Liberals come from behind to retain their seat at the head of the kids table. There was no doubt a party or two thrown on the taxpayers dollar on that very saturday night as Scomo and his cronies celebrated their win over Shorten and his anti-vaxxer friends who wanted to screw over the old retirees and take more of their hard earned cash in taxes. Taxes that they’ve paid for over 45 years of their lives working hard to provide for their families. Now in the twilight years of their lives one would think their contribution to society is well and truly paid in full.

Anyways we were damned if we do, damned if we don’t with either party, at least this way we might get a little bit more back in our pockets each month. At the sacrifice of the environment says the little angel sitting our shoulders. Again we are damned if we do, damned if we don’t. Moving on from Australia’s failing political scene, there’s some good news and some bad news this week. After nearly 3 years of coastal living the team at A Mind of Its Own are moving back to the big smoke. We are heading back to Brisbane to a new base of operations deep within the urban jungle. We’ll still be the same old blog that loses it’s way like a sidetracked conversation but we’ll be in the thick of it and have a few more things to write about in our sarcastic sense of style.

So what do we write about this week we asked ourselves as we stared around the bullpen at each other wondering who had the best idea for a blog. Is it the weird foot fetish guy idea or the drunken banter that blokes say. The what women want, the what women need or the inequality women face on a daily basis. Or should it be the hope that we all need in our lives to get by. With so many ideas tossed around it became a struggle to sift through all the things that could and more importantly should be written about. Like a lucky dip we threw them all in a hat and waited for someone to come along and draw out this weeks lucky topic. We left that choice outside of the bossman’s hands due to the rather dark gloomy cloud he seems to be carrying around with him wherever he goes lately.

And the winner of this week’s blog goes to (insert drum roll in your head please ladies and gentlemen) Observations of Life… Ah yeah what the hell is going on? Isn’t every week an observations of life and where have you guys been we hear you asking? You are absolutely correct the whole idea of the blog is a weekly observation of something in life. Well we decided to go to a place called Hiatus, no it’s not a physical place but a place where our minds often go to recover and recharge and reset to prepare for what is to come for the rest of the year. It’s also where we disappear to when our actual jobs that pay us get in the way of running this blog and our other extracurricular activities. While we were on Hiatus though we able observe people around us and how they went about their lives, the little intricacies and random things that people do without even thinking about doing.

As we strolled around the boardwalk along the Brisbane river soaking in some sun after what has been an unseasonably cold week for usual warm north of Queensland. We watched the people going about their lives on a Saturday morning. Our first observation was that we truly do live a multicultural society. A nation founded on immigration yet still so subservient to the bigots, racists, misogynists and scumbags that seem to hold the power and run the country. In a country where we voted and yes we did vote ‘YES’ for gay marriage we are still so intolerant towards the LGBT community. We walked past a couple walking with their little boy and we warmed by the love and compassion shown by both men towards their son. It also didn’t hurt that the little man cutely said on que as we walked past “Not you dad, you dad” pointing to his other father.

With the markets on down by the Powerhouse there was a cacophony of people of all ages, races and sexual orientations. For a minute we were reminded that this is what life should be like. Families, Friends and strangers all intermingling as they go about their mornings procuring their produce or wares from the vendors of the market. For a minute we forget that the world outside this little place is a hair trigger away from imploding into yet another war, man made disaster or total chaos. As we look around it’s easy to forget all that. Just looking at the news on is reminded of just how badly the top of food chain has done over the centuries since we stood up straight and walked out of our caves. For the smartest species we are actually quite dumb and moronic in our approach to life and others around us.

Whilst we might be able to create technological masterpieces for some reason we are never able to treat each other with the respect, compassion and overall decency that should be afforded to one another. We sat for a coffee watching the people around us, yeah a little creepy we guess but who doesn’t love people watching? A couple of older gentleman were sitting around sipping their coffees and discussing all things life. They reminded us a little of why we write this blog to create a voice for those that don’t have one or to talk about the topics that no one wants to talk about in today’s politically correct society where someone is bound to be offended by someone else’s opinion. We’ve said it before though opinions are like arseholes everyone has one but have we gone too far? Is there really freedom of speech anymore these days?

A question for yet another day that we’ll try and tackle without offending someone or everyone although that is quite hard in an era of outrage porn and woe is me. But enough digressing back to our observations on life, love and religion. Ok no love or religion they are two topics frowned upon by the editor whenever he reads these blogs. That’s to say unless it is something he’s written to outline how harsh the world can be. Sitting in the car later that same day we listened to Mark Manson’s new book, Everything is F*#!ed, the message of the book hit some of us harder than others. Ok hit the big guy driving like a sledgehammer to the face as he started weeping uncontrollable at the realisation that he too was going through a “Crisis of Hope”. Yeah it is one of those self help books we recommend you read and pretty much available anywhere there is an internet connection or bookstore.

So with the kleenex out and the blubbering died down to an acceptable level where we could once again hear the rest of the audiobook we continued to listen while trying to relate or empathise with our lives. It’s funny how as humans we are the only species with the ability to be able to do that. Able to relate to someone else pain or happiness, able to put ourselves in someone’s shoes that are not our own and feel for them the emotions they are feeling. Empathy it’s a weird and wonderful thing that allows us to produce emotion, they call it active empathy but there are a lot of people in the world who must have inactive empathy as they can’t or choose not feel for other people. They could also be known as narcissists possibly, maybe, ok yeah definitely…

Our day of observations was leading to more questions than we had the answers for, it was one of those days we would end up staring into the foam of our latte and pondering the ins and outs of the world. Would we question the writings and observations of those that have come before us, damn straight we will as Albert Einstein wrote “The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reasons for existing”. And so we question everything because we aren’t done learning. The day we are it’ll hopefully be the day our husk of a body dries up and the consciousness transfers to the next vessel to continue the journey and learnings of the world. Deep we know but sometimes you have to get a little deep in thought to find some of the answers you are looking for.

Are we rambling this week, chances are quite good that we actually are but in the spirit of getting something out to the public from time to time you just have to go with what’s in your head and this week it was all about observing our fellow humans from the mums pushing strollers and prams through the shops (Yeah no idea what the difference is) to the drunk abusing people on the sidewalk and the little old Asian lady struggling under a mountain of bags, one things we all have in common is that we all have a story to tell. Some of those stories may have similar or relatable pieces but like each and everyone of us those stories and memories are just as unique and individual as our DNA. Nevertheless there is a story to be told under the emotions and masks of each of the people you see on the side of the streets. Like a ghost sometimes we just need to bring those stories into the light for them to be told.

That DNA we spoke of that is so unique to you, it carries stories passed on from generation to generation, the trials and tribulations of our parents and their parents before them. When you really think about it we are all carrying and craving information. As we sat through a presentation the other day a slide with side by side pictures came on the screens before us. One photo was black and white and the other well a picture from today. The thing they had in common you ask? Well they were both of people sitting on a train. In the black and white photo the people were reading books or newspapers and in the colour photo from today they all had their heads stuck in a device but in both photos they were doing the same thing. They were all seeking information, every person on both those trains at two separate times in history were all devouring information whether they were looking at ads in the newspaper or online shopping, reading the sports section or watching the game live on their device throughout time they were all seeking knowledge and information.

They say knowledge is power and throughout history we’ve had men and women seek out knowledge (information) to improve or maintain their status at the top of the pile until someone comes along with either more knowledge or the knowledge of how to wield a bigger more advanced army and overthrow them. They say wars are fought over resources or religion but someone in history forgot to include ego in there. Throughout history many a knowledge sapping, maniacal megalomaniac has gone to war over a bruised or inflated ego. As Ben Parker (Uncle of Spiderman) said “With great power comes, great responsibility” what was left out was that you shouldn’t include your ego when it comes to matters involving others. We figure old fake tan himself, Mr Trump has never heard the quote. Which by the way, was originally spoken by Voltaire and yet we commonly attribute it to Uncle Ben a character created by the late Stan Lee for the Marvel comic universe.

It’s funny that we often look to the past and compare it to the future when we have the ability to change the current situation we are in. We look at the now and wonder why aren’t we as fit, fast or thin as we used to be. We cry out for a person we used to be because we are not comfortable with the person we truly are and have grown into and more often than not we follow Alice back down that rabbit hole and the cycle continues to repeat itself over and over again. Never learning from the past and continuing to attempt to bring it into the future. What’s the definition of stupidity? Attempting to do the same thing over and over again to get a different result… Yeah we all do it from time to time but surely there is a point when you just wake up and go I am this version of me now and I need embrace it to live my life to the fullest.

Maybe some people just prefer to always be searching, maybe they need that internal chaos within them to get through day to day life. Maybe they truly don’t know what they need or want in their lives but the one good thing is you’ll never see them sitting still wondering what could have been had they accepted life, they strive for what they want and feel is best for them at that particular point in time. We are all unique and all different that’s one thing our observations of watching people have taught us. People are strange and often a little weird but that’s just who we are. You can’t and you shouldn’t try to change who you are, we need to be more loving and accepting of ourselves as people. Maybe you should try a little people watching and you will see that live isn’t as bad as you once thought it to be.

For now the team will leave you with this, as you grow old, never regret the life that you’ve had, never fear the unknown that lurks in the dark, never be afraid to show emotion, never shy away from who you truly are. We are all on this earth for one reason or another and whatever your beliefs are, no one can take those away from you. They can just disagree and become annoying to your way of life and belief system. As the kids say, you do you! Go be a creep like us and sit at cafes listening in on other people’s conversations while watching people walk past going about their days. You’ll be amazed by what you see. It’s like that Clint Eastwood movie there’ll be The Good, The Bad and the The Ugly! We wish you all a pleasant week and promise to go a little more in depth next week with a topic that surprised even us! Caio!