H is For…

It’s a great month for mental health awareness, September is suicide prevention month and Thursday the 12th was R U Ok day. As some of our followers well know, mental health is a topic that is close to our hearts here at A Mind of Its Own. We’d like to think we are part time advocates and yet full-time suffers who are here to help others by spreading our message that it’s ok to go and seek help, it’s ok to be suffering and most importantly it’s okay not to be okay. So in tribute of mental health awareness we handed over the reigns to the big man and let him do what he does best and write this weeks installment all on his own. He took a big step last week personally in his journey through his battle with mental health. As a team we are proud of what he’s managed to achieve and the courage it took to do something so we’ll sign off and leave you to him.

There are a couple of days each year that I tend to get passionate about, AFL Grandfinal, Hockey grand final and well any sports final that is a good excuse to get on the cans (Tins) not breasts. But days where we get to stop and think about a cause that affects millions of people around the world, those are the days I am most passionate about. The causes that have not only affected me but those I care about and those I wish to help or at least attempt to help through my journey to wellness. As you go through this blog there is a lot of raw and emotional details that quite often gets left out of stories that are told but as some point they all come to light and need to breathe.

The term head fuck (sorry for swearing) was certainly something that was floating through my mind all day last Thursday. Whilst I can talk about pretty much anything there are certain topics that push my anxiety through the roof. Lets just say my body does not react well to stress or anxiety for that matter and given getting up in front of a lot of people is usually not my favourite thing to do unless it involves alcohol it was safe to say everything was on high alert and I was running the various ways it could all turn out in my head and what people would think of me once they knew everything about it or at least enough to start making their own opinions of me and what I am going through on a daily basis.

Sitting their palms clammy, chest tightening, thoughts racing through my head, in front of a group of people that know me as someone I am not. That is not my idea of fun or my idea something I want to do very often. Why was I there? I was there to tell my story, my battle, my fight, in the hope that it will inspire others to at least start the conversation. A conversation, any conversation, what we don’t often realise is that by having a simple conversation that we could be saving someone from themselves, from the darkness, from that abyss. Mental health issues affect everyone at some point throughout their lives. There have been times where I’ve sat at bars drinking my sorrows away talking to absolute strangers about my thoughts and feelings all because I knew the chances of seeing them again were slim to none.

And so last Thursday I dug deep and faced myself, my insecurities and my anxiety and depression head on but what I didn’t count on was the fact it would floor me a couple of days afterwards. I asked myself if it was a selfless act to help others or whether I did it more for me to face my fears. I left out a lot of the gory details but I shared enough that people understood that my journey hasn’t been easy. It took a woman for me to finally go and get myself some serious help. It only took one day where all my insecurities and issues flooded to the surface in a body wrenching panic attack that had me hugging the toilet bowl until I was sick. Sitting in the shower head in hands waiting for the next wave of nausea to hit me while my head swam in a sea of thoughts and self doubts that I couldn’t control.

I knew it was time for me to go and see someone, time to go and get some professional help and time to start putting my mental health first. I may not have done it for myself but I did do it for those I love and care about. I did what I needed to do to ensure I was on the road to recovery, on the road to rescuing what I could from that dark place I had ventured into. In a sense, who I am, hates who I’ve been. Yes, I thought it was weak to speak, I thought it was unmanly to not be ok, to let people know that I was not ok, I thought it cowardly to need help whether it be professional or from family or friends. Five years on and I now see that it takes more courage to speak your truth than it does to find every excuse under the sun to ignore what’s really going on.

So I sat there in a room full of colleagues and told the truth, the more I think about it the more I see that it wasn’t just for me it was for them to. If I got through to at least one person then I know I’ve made a difference. If not then at least I can say I did something that scared the absolute crap out me. It put me out of my comfort zone and made me face something I’ve often kept hidden from the public. It wasn’t that I was ashamed, it was that I didn’t think it was any of their business. I didn’t need everyone to know what I was going through, only those nearest and dearest to me needed to know that was going on. Then one day this blog started, first of all it was only ever meant to be an outlet for me to write as a coping mechanism something I would do to help me through the worst of it. Little by little I grew the courage and confidence until at one point last year the first A Mind Of Its Own post went live. Forever marking a milestone in my journey with mental health and a great day for our new fans who get some of their time wasted each and every week.

And we’ll continue to write, to spread the message and to question everything. I and the team will research what we don’t know, listen to other people and their opinions and continue to attempt to share both sides of the story even if we don’t like and or agree with them. We’ll also continue to highlight the stigma that comes hand in hand with mental health. We’ll give a voice to those who don’t have one or haven’t found the courage and confidence to speak up and ask for help. We are all about creating conversation or at least starting them and watching them go up like out of control bonfire and walking away. In some ways we are the instigators of the conversations that no one wants to have.

The following was written in a dark place at a dark time but it was written to give the reader a sense of what it’s like to suffer anxiety and depression from the mind of some who suffers and who is able to articulate feelings into words to allow a genuine description of what can and does go through the mind of someone who battles anxiety and depression on a daily basis. The description below is how it is to be in my head from time to time. It’s not always this way but a lot of the time it can be a dark fucking place where things make little to no sense. Well at least that dark place has helped us to create some kickass blogs over the past year that we a super proud of like really proud like a parent watching their child’s first dance recital or game of sport. So without further ado we hand back over to the bossman to show you the otherside.

Thousands of words flutter across the screen yet none of them make sense. Like your mind all scattered and your body that’s lost control. The legs that don’t work with the mind running at a million miles an hour. You question yourself and wander into the meadow of self pity and doubt. It’s not all flowers and greenery in your head, it’s the warzone with bullets flying, shells exploding and misery exposing itself to the world. Welcome to the daily struggles, the daily battle, welcome to my warzone. I don’t need you to challenge me I have a constant battle raging in my head. It’s a challenge to draw a ceasefire from the warring parties but there are days that you manage to negotiate a truce at least for a couple of hours before the first shots are fired to break the silence.

There are the days where the body just goes into shutdown or full revolt like the spanish in 1936. From feeling on top of the world one day to laying in the fetal position in the shower as you throw up from the anxiety induced nausea the next. Then comes the embarrassment like you’ve just crapped yourself in front of the entire school during assembling. Stuck in the infinite feedback loop of embarrassment that you let it get to the point you were physically sick and wanting to hide away from the world for days on end. That’s the sort of thing that goes through your mind once you’ve experienced the sweat, tears and chest tightening, nauseating effect that anxiety and depression can have on the body.

You wanted to understand it, see a little insight to daily life, well welcome to the world of an anxious man.Thoughts all battling to take centre stage, all there to make your mind a jumble of feelings, thoughts and constant complaints. And yet ours is just mild can you imagine a severe case of anxiety or depression. They say they understand yet they are often ill informed and question the why. Trust us when we say if we had the answers we’d tell you because we’d like to know ourselves. Why our smiles are often fake and our feelings are hidden behind a mask worn for the world’s sake just as much ours. We don’t really want the questions, sometimes we just want to be left alone in our darkness. Most of the time we’ll rise from our ashes like a phoenix born again until the next major battle.

It could be hours, days, weeks or months but nothing can prepare you for the next onslaught and the army marching through your mind, heart and soul. You might just get a taste of what it’s like for some of us on a daily basis and that will be enough for you to look into the light from the darkness. You still won’t understand or comprehend how we battle, how we strive, how we make it through the days but you will find a respect that wasn’t there before, something born from exposure to the thing you didn’t want to know or understand. Now you know a little bit more perhaps you’ll pay attention when someone needs or asks for some help. Maybe you’ll see the signs as they arise and be able to lend an ear because sometimes that’s all it takes, sometimes that’s all we need, someone to listen.

We’ll leave it there for another week and thank all our pundits for having a read of something that was a little hard for the big man to write but something that needed to make its way to screens of the men and women of Australia and the world. It’s something that we’ll continue to write about and something that will always be close to our hearts. We’ll continue to spread the message that it’s okay not to be ok and that it’s more than ok to seek help. So again we’ll wrap up this party and wish you all a fond farewell until next week or the week after. It really depends on who can come up with a new idea or blog and get it down on paper the quickest but never the less we’ll be back on your screens before you know it. So with that all said and done we wish you a bonza week and we’ll get back to you before you know it. A Mind of Its Own out…

Halcyon…

The Webster dictionary gives us several options as the meaning of the word Halcyon, but we’ll just go with Tranquil, Calm, Peaceful. All things that when you switch on the news seem to things within a pipedream. While there may be pockets of beauty that people would describe as tranquil we live in a world that is far from Halcyon. Most people would say there lives are quite peaceful but what about those that don’t know or ever feel they’ll have inner peace? What about those that suffer from mental health issue will they ever find their own Halcyon or at least a little peace of it that will allow them to have a day or days away from fighting the battle that rages day in day out with there own minds.

When we first started this blog and it’s aptly titled self we never envisioned that we’d actually write several pieces that were personal and a slight insight into the minds behind the publication. Reading back through pieces we can see why people would think that we are mad, or at least a little angry with the world. The world we’ve created for ourselves in a bigger world where all we can do is try our best and be who we are. Not who people want us to be, or believe we should be. Our editor-in-chief has spoken several times about his battle with Anxiety and Depression. About the ups and downs, the highs the lows and the times he’s had to crawl out of that pit and put himself back together like a giant lego set. He’s not alone in going through this there are millions of people around the globe suffering but this isn’t something we haven’t told you before.

What does all this have to do with the word Halcyon besides everything of course. Think of Halcyon as a place in your mind. Now take that image and ravage it with the worst mother nature has to offer. All that chaos and destruction of the tranquil, calm, peaceful place is now replaced with uncertainty and fear. The more information we absorb the further into pit we fall. The black surrounding you like a blanket enveloping your skin and swallowing you up, stretching tighter and tighter around you until you can’t breath. Yeah that’s why this week we’ve gone with Halcyon to point out that you can go from a peaceful existence to a world of chaos within seconds and find yourself at the lowest of lows, you find yourself at Rock Bottom.

So what happens when you hit rock bottom and have to build yourself up again brick by brick. Do you have people you could rely on if this was to happen to you? Have you ever stopped and asked yourself what if? In today’s new age society we have plenty of life coaches that will tell you that you can’t think about the what if’s or have regrets because they’ll hold you back from obtaining growing, achieving and obtaining those future goals. But what if all those people are wrong and it’s not a bad thing to have what ifs and plan for the them. There is no reason you can’t have a future in which you protect yourself against a little pain and angst. Prior planning or preparation, prevents pisspoor preformances. The five P’s used by so many successful people around the world. That’s why people with Anxiety will often fall in a heap if something happens they hadn’t planned for or wasn’t part of their plan. They like to have routine and more importantly a sense of control.

Back to Rock bottom we aren’t talking about trying to prepare yourself for the worst but more so having some safety nets to fall into when the rug is ripped out from under you and your falling through the that floor towards the pit of despair. Because let’s be honest at some point in life we are all thrown a curveball or two that come out of absolutely nowhere and there is nothing we can do about it except stand there and swing. Swing with all we’ve got in the hopes of connecting and knocking it out of the park. There are those people that can bend and not break but for most of us that is not the case. Most of us break when thrown that curveball or proverbial rug is pulled out from under us. As we drift down through the blackness waiting for our bodies to slam into the bottom of the pit that for some people becomes bottomless, swallowing them whole, we are allowed more and more time to think. Time to reflect and this is where the what ifs come into play. By the time you reach the bottom your focus has turned to how in the hell are you going to dig yourself out.

Last time we check shovels and rope didn’t come at the bottom of a bottle but many a person turns to the bottle, while some people need heavier building equipment and find themselves nose deep in Columbia’s finest or Afghanistan’s brown being sunk into any vein they can find. The effects of drugs and alcohol on people’s inhibitions have long been documented throughout history. Hell the CIA and Army used LSD on soldiers during experiments and it was said to open their minds and mouths to things many had blocked out or forgotten. So it’s no wonder that a little dutch courage can have the tightest lipped people talking about their deepest darkest secrets and fears. Give them something a little stronger and they’ll tell you their unedited story word for word to the point your ears start bleeding. Every little nitty, gritty detail will come out, including things you didn’t need to know.

What does this have to do with the pit of despair and climbing your way back out or building yourself back up again. Well we are glad you asked because like always we have little insight and some advice we can provide. Like a shaken up bottle of soft drink it’s not going to spill over until you crack that lid open. Well to a lot of people wallowing at rock bottom in their pit of despair, drugs and alcohol are like those gimmicks people buy of those ridiculous TV advertisements to help them open tight lids on jars. They can often just have a placebo effect, in other cases they can actually work and crack the lid on all those thoughts and feelings that have been pent up well before but also during they time fell through the floor into the pit. Like Mount Etna erupting or that bottle of soft drink you’ve spent the last half an hour shaking. That pressure release can often feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from your shoulders. As everything spews forth onto the ground around you or the people around you.

Too often though that need to be able to talk and get things out, before it spirals out of control, leads a lot of people become dependant on the bottle, bag or whatever crutch they are leaning on to help them through the dark times. But once we’ve pulled ourselves from the pit and put ourselves into some serviable order it will only hold us back from putting the final pieces of our puzzle back into place to create a new or continue our way forward in life. Whilst everyone will tell you that everything is going to be ok on your way down and then on the way back up their is a period where you gaze up from the blackness and wonder if it truly will be ok. That’s before you stub your toes on those bricks and either start to build yourself back up, decide to solidify your foundation or just build a little hut to wallow in all your self pity like a human hermit crab.

Whatever you chose to do know that rock bottom is a place that we can all come back from, the bottom of that pit allows us a solid base to build upon time and time again until we become that person we truly are or the best version of ourselves. You can learn a lot about yourself, about the true you in the dark recesses of that pit. You can learn about the person you want to be, ought to be and truly are. Out of despair, sadness and pain heroes are often born and as we’ve learnt from history, if you just believe in yourself you are your own hero. We have the unique ability to be able to rebuild ourselves time and time again in any shape and form we chose that best suits our needs.

Lean on those around you, do what you need to do but remember no matter how black the pit there is always a light at the end that we can climb towards either on our own of with the help of friends and family. Look after your mind, body and soul, you’ll need them in the weeks and months to come, they’ll be your greatest asset in the rebuilding and climbing phases you will go through. Times will be tough there is no deny that but you got this far so hang in there a little while longer and you’ll make your way out of the pit, hand over hand, foot by foot, inch by inch. You can find strength you never knew you had in the strangest of places. To quote Ayn Rand, for those of you who don’t know who she was, she was ahead of her time and a brilliant author. Pick up a copy of Atlas Shrugged it’s a great read and a classic.

“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it’s yours.”

― Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

At Rock Bottom we have nowhere else to go, we have no other options but to either give up and as Ayn said let our our fire go out or to spark and ensure our hero doesn’t perish. As we close yet another albeit brief chapter of A Mind of Its Own we are reminded that life will throw you the unexpected, no matter how much you plan or prepare for it things will happen, they will creep up on you and they will hurt you. How you bounce back from it though is in your hands, you hold the power, not that black pit you find yourself in. Until next week, when you find yourself at rock bottom there is always options and always people you can lean on to help you climb. Adios Amigos!

Wicked Sensitive Crew…

It’s 2019 so one would think that people have the ability to overcome and adapt to the world around them, a world where people can be themselves without the fear of being judged or oppressed for their views and beliefs. That they would be free to ride the train in peace whilst reading a book. To not have to sit and listen to someone from another country preach anti-abortion and christian religious beliefs at them and a carriage full of people they don’t know. In an ideal world that would certainly be the case but in the world we live in where anything and everything goes, it seems to be the “norm” that anything that is deemed to be outside of the “norm” is strange and or just weird. Just like the guy on the Sydney train who, yes is entitled to his views and opinions should know there is a time and a place and that time and place is not on an evening train after everyone has had a hard day at work and just wants to wind down before getting home to their loved ones or pets.

Having spent plenty of time on trains across the country we and understand the need and want to just have a peaceful ride to your final destination. Why do you think so many people have headphone in and stare at their phones or tablets from the moment they get on the train to the moment they step off onto the platform. People like to use the time to decompress, the last thing they want is a raving American pushing religious beliefs and telling everyone he loves them. It’s bad enough we have a muppet in the white house let alone a religious nut on a train. If we were on the train we wouldn’t have been as nice as the man who eventually spoke up and asked him politely enough to shut up. As human beings we need to be more sensitive to others particularly in confined spaces. They say a comedian needs to be able to read the room with certain jokes, well the same goes for those who wish to get a point across as we said there is a time and place you just need to know when that time and place is.

Which leads us into this weeks blog, something that we looked at a lot over the week that has just flown by something that all our friends, family and followers out there with mental health issues might understand, something that is slowly changing and softening over time. In days gone by a man was defined by his masculinity, he was worshipped for his womanising ways and controlled the world through manly ways. But as Beyoncé said “Who runs the world? Girls” and any man worth his salt would know that. So why is it that men who are sensitive are seen as soft or less manly? If you are in touch with your feelings you are often on the end of some nasty name calling or ribbing from your mates at school or friends and family members? In a world where we are all striving for equality why is it that some women want all the same things as men and yet they still look for what they define as ‘A real Man’. They still have ‘man’s jobs’ or as we’ve come to know they as ‘Just the jobs they don’t want to do’.

So why as males are we become more sensitive, in an era where hipsters, trendsters and the LGBTQI communities are finally getting a voice. Why is it that the typical, fair dinkum, Aussie bloke become a softy? They say we are in the age of the Sensitive New Age Guy or as the ladies in CLEO, Girlfriend and other glossy magazines designed to create another generation of insecure, body image issued women refer to them as SNAGs. And yes that is a generalisation on our behalf we are well aware that it is not the intention of these magazines to portray a perceived image of what the ideal woman should look like. Perhaps that is just us being overly sensitive but there can’t be much of an argument against the fact that young ladies and women look at the covers of these magazines and subconsciously think that’s what I should look like or why don’t i look like that? Again we digress, and it’s time to get back on track to discuss the growing sense of sensitivity among young males.

When you think of masculine men we often think of the film stars of old that portrayed some of the most masculine characters you will ever see. John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, Bruce Willis, Samuel L Jackson to name a few. Just pick a male film star from the 80’s and early 90’s, the characters were all tough, masculine men who took charge and could easily fit that typecast of ‘A Real Man’ that we have been culturally accepting of for generations. Perhaps there is some fault in media that continues to push what a real man should be like. Men shouldn’t be sensitive, they shouldn’t cry, they shouldn’t have feelings and they certainly shouldn’t be worrying about how everyone else is feeling and whether or not they are ok. That is and has been male culture for centuries, since we walked out of the caves and began walking proud and tall we’ve always shown a tough, masculine, non-sensitive side to the world.

It’s a little like wearing a mask that is only taken off in the confines of your own house when no one else is watching. So again we ask what is it that is making men, particularly young men and perhaps more the millennial than generation Y morph into actual human beings with thoughts and feelings. We say that with a little skepticism as some of them are quite rude little bastards who have no manners or respect which is one thing we’d change if we could. Always respect your elders! They’ve been there, done that and a lot of the times got the t-shirt just to prove it. Those that have found some sensitivity and are in some ways redefining masculinity as well as showing future generations that its ok to be sensitive are striving forward with confidence, their heads held high and we might have a few ideas why. The A Mind of Its Own team compiled a few thoughts and reasons why we feel a generational shift is allowing men to become more sensitive with some resistance from an unexpected party.

Ok so is it more sensitive or are males just feeling it’s becoming more and more ok to just be themselves? Are we becoming more accepting of our inner self, of out thoughts, of our feelings. Of all the articles we read there was pattern beginning to map itself out before us. The shift wasn’t just in our minds as sensitive middle aged men writing a blog in between trying to finish a novel that’s been in the works for several years now. It wasn’t that people with mental health issues are more sensitive. It’s a generational thing that points to the fact that yes the world is slowly but surely changing but there is always going to be resistance. Women according to studies are looking for that softer man as they take charge of their lives and families in the 21st century feeling more empowered. We read several articles and blogs before stumbling across an article in Forbes magazine by Jules Schroeder that outlined the 7 following reasons she felt men are opening up to being more sensitive whilst redefining masculinity.

1. They Value Self Awareness. While traditional masculinity says “don’t feel,” modern masculinity says “dare to feel.” Millennial men are committed to knowing themselves on a deep and personal level—even if what they find is difficult to confront or conflicting. Rather than hide from or deny who you are, become curious about who you are and have the courage to represent yourself authentically.

2. They Are Non-Conformist. The rigid gender roles for men and women are becoming more loosely defined as millennial challenge the status quo. According to one international study titled “The Decline of the Manly Man,” the percentage of men who are staying home to care for children is rising today while women are slowly surpassing men in academic performance and closing the income gap. The evolved man isn’t swayed by gender roles or what society deems “manly.” He doesn’t need to be validated externally by conforming. He acts according to his own volition, and he isn’t threatened by women rising, either.

3. They Don’t Want To Compete With One Another. Instead of trying to gain empty status, the evolved man knows his worth lies within. He is secure within himself to the extent that he doesn’t need to put others down in order to feel better about himself.

4. They Value Authenticity. Men have no need to pretend they’re someone they’re not, because they’re not ashamed of who they really are. You can cultivate authenticity in your life by ensuring your outer self is aligned with your inner self. One Boulder, CO-based movement, called the Authentic Man Program, is dedicated to empowering men in their authenticity so that rewarding interactions are made possible.

5. The Want To Be Vulnerable. Outdated masculinity says men shouldn’t show any sign of weakness. But modern masculinity embraces vulnerability as an expression of courage.

6. They Act According To Their Values. A man follows through on his values. He values his own sense of self above others’ sense of who he is so he honors his commitment to himself first and foremost.

7. They Are Motivated To Grow. Evolved men don’t just stop at “evolved.” They are continuously looking for new ways to grow and develop themselves. You can be proactive about your own development by attending education-based events. You will be better able to see your own blind spots in the context of relationships, so considering joining a men’s group or starting your own.

One disturbing fact that came out of researching this piece was the amount of mental and often physical abuse that is brought against men and women. While the values and role definitions in relationships and culture are shifting so too are the figures when it comes to abuse. While men tend to react more physically, the alarming numbers of women lashing out at their partners has been steadily climbing in the last 5 years around the globe. Men are still 50% less likely to report abuse with most citing that it would be seen as weak to do so. Those that did report it stated that it started out as verbal abuse escalating over time, taking a turn and becoming physical. Police were also less likely to believe a male than female when it came to reports of physical abuse with some officers reportedly laughing it off and telling the complainant to just go home and sort it out.

It would seem even as we shift towards equality, slowly, like the hare and the tortoise and men start to become softer, more sensitive and as some females put it more feminine we as humans still feel the need to repress one another. Whether it be through cutting each other down verbally or physically lashing out we are still in the mindset that one sex needs to dominate the other, rather than finding that balance. Perhaps in our generation that is not possible while we still have cultural aspects ingrained in us from the past. But the millennial, perhaps they have an opportunity to lead us into the 22nd century changed where we are all truly equal and it’s ok to be sensitive. Sensitive towards yourself and sensitive towards others and a true picture of what a human being should really be. After all there are no rules that say you can’t be tough, strong, masculine and yet still sensitive, kind and caring. There is nothing to say you can’t have all of those great qualities.

While we feel that people who suffer from mental health issues are a little more sensitive than most people we believe this to be the case for one simple reason. They are more in touch with their emotions. Whether they are able to cope and deal with those emotions is a different question altogether but the fact that they feel on a different level to most people often allows them to understand emotions, feelings and thoughts a lot better once the tools are in place that allow them to filter and sift through them logically. When we set out to write this weeks blog the question we had in mind was why are we so sensitive or from the writers prospective why am I so sensitive? That wasn’t the question that we should have been asking. The real question is why are we always made to feel it’s a bad thing to be sensitive? Or in touch with our feelings? Why is it deemed feminine if we are empathetic, kind, caring and nurturing? Yes generally all female characteristics but nevertheless all traits that can also be shown by men.

Over time we may see a change and these qualities will be accepted in men but for now both men and women will have to continue in their set gender stereotypes that have been cast in stone for centuries. Because let’s be honest for just a second if we may, it’s not just men who judge other men for being sensitive, women are often just as judgemental as their male counterparts when it comes to the sensitivity of men. Still to this day, Friday 12th of April in 2019 it is seen as very unmanly to be in touch with your emotions and have a little bit of softness about you. How many times have you heard the words “You need to grow a pair”, come from the mouth of a woman or “You’re being rather emotional for a bloke”. Far too often as humans we tend to speak before we think, instead of letting our minds filter and process what we are about to say. For some people this may be a difficult process in itself as they feel justified in their position. For others though it is just purely about getting their point across whether they are right or wrong. We tend to refer to these people as the Last Word Brigade.

In another eye opener for the year we’ve learnt that it’s the kids once again leading the way rather than the adults who should know better having spent more time on the earth and experienced more in their lives. Perhaps we should just hand over the keys to the city now and like the lost boys in Peter Pan let the kids govern themselves. They seem to be doing a lot better job than we certainly are when it comes to being in touch with ourselves and the world around us. They say the children are the future and from the looks of things they weren’t wrong. While the kids continue to get it right and grow, we adults will continue to maintain the status quo only to bitch and moan about things rather than making an effort to change them. From the Wicked Sensitive Crew… here at a A Mind of It’s Own we bid you another fond farewell for the week and we look forward to seeing you all the same time next week for yet another install of the blog that keeps on keeping on. Until then Sayonara, yep Japanese this week just to mix it up from the usual European goodbyes.

Into The Abyss…

The world we live in is often strange and perplexing particularly when it comes to people’s points of view or theories. As we’ve mentioned before, Ideas are like arseholes, everyone has one. Ask anyone in the world and they will tell you there is no shortage of myths, legends and conspiracy theories. The team have even attempted to tackle one or two of them in the past like when we tried to raise the roof off the house that is the anti vaccination movement. Like the anti-vaxxer movement there are several conspiracy theories that have come to light in recent times that grow support from the strangest of places and often perplex everyday people as to how or why people could think such a thing.

Unlike the Anti Vaccination movement however this weeks subject to sit in the Mind of Its Own interrogation chair and the cop waterboarding treatment (We never signed up to the Geneva convention) does not really have a leg to stand on. It’s amazing how and again why this theory has managed to develop such a following particularly with today’s technology and our knowledge of the earth. As we sat watching a documentary on the topic thinking what the fork are these people on about and how haven’t they been committed to the closest mental health facility yet. It began to pique our interest as to how they’d originally been introduced to the topic themselves and how there believe had grown to what it is today.

Going through school you are taught one plus one equals two, you breath oxygen because without it we’d die and the earth is the only inhabited planet in our solar system that we currently know of. What if everything you have ever been taught is a lie? What if the Earth isn’t real and all of this is just some giant machine that we are a part of? What if we are all just plugged into the matrix and were never to be given the choice between the blue or the red pill? We’ll if you believe that this week’s topic is true, which we are about to  pull it apart like a Bakers Delight six share loaf at smoko, then you are pretty much of the opinion that everything you have been taught, everything you know is one big fat lie. To this day you are being lied to about any and everything in what would be the world’s greatest conspiracy since religion was born. Sorry to all our religious friends out there but with Cardinal Pell being done for kiddy fiddling we are of the opinion that the catholic church is full of seedy old men who like to get their jollies by touching little kids and it makes us sick!

We don’t know about you, but at school we were taught the earth is round and rotates on an axis, we have a north pole and south pole. The earth is divided into a northern and a southern hemisphere and we rotate around the sun in what gives us a calendar year (365 days). We have gravity, it affects the tides and brings meaning to the saying ‘what goes up, must come down’. Outside of Earth there is space, within that space are other planets, stars, suns, moons, galaxies and countless other civilisations no doubt that we are yet to discover or don’t want us to discover them for fear we’ll ruin their planet just like we are ours. So going back to the theory of what if it was all just one big lie, what if none of what we know is true, what if it was all made up as part of the largest conspiracy theory to span the globe. Every government in the world is in on it like a massive April’s fools joke waiting to punch you in arm and scream April fools as they jump out from behind the curtains in your mother’s living room.

If you are a Flat Earther then as far as you’re concerned a lot of the things you have been taught are a lie. The earth is not round, it’s flat like a disc and the north and south pole well they are just part a massive ringed wall of ice that hems in the world. Those ice walls rise up to the sky in an effort to keep us in or to keep people out? Either way we aren’t too sure how this theory even grew legs in the modern era given the scientific breakthroughs and discoveries over the last century. Does that mean we live in a dome? Like the Truman show we are all just wandering around on a giant film set with no idea on what is actually happening around us or that everything is fake and giant lie. According to flat earthers this is exactly what is happening to all of us on a global scale. We puppets or pieces in a giant game where we have little to no say in how our lives are governed and what we are taught. Sounds a lot like living in Australia or America in 2019 where we are governed by Oompa-Loompas and balding fat old men.

We’re sorry but in what world other than George Orwell’s 1984, would every government come together to create such a glorious lie. We can’t even agree on global warming so i’m not sure how on earth they could continue to cover up that the earth is flat and not round. We’ve fought wars over religion, over resources and over peoples rights but it’s all just a big lie according to our Flat Earth Friends. The moon landing, putting astronauts and cosmonauts in space, building an international space station, sending probes off into the far reaches of the galaxy and satellites that take photos of the earth and surrounding planets. Telescopes that allow us to see into the vast distance of space. Need we say more about the technology and large well funded organisations involved in proving that the Earth is indeed round and not flat? Or is that all fake too? Just another part of the real life Truman show we all live in?

But if you ask a Flat Earther and yes that’s what they call themselves in what we, here believe is the dumbest conspiracy theory to ever gain notoriety, they’ll give you an answer to every question you have around the topic and why it is true. They’ll even tell you that scientists are stumped by some of the hypothesis and theories they have brought to light in proving that the earth is flat and yet the academics & scientists can’t use their beloved science to prove the Flat Earth theory is incorrect. One particular scene in the Netflix documentary titled Behind the Curve it shows Youtuber and leader of the Flat Earth movement Mark Sargent (He’s a conspiracy theory nut from way back, a true middle american) looking out across a lake at Toronto or some city (We can’t remember as it was at this point we started questioning the sanity of these people) claiming that if the earth was round he shouldn’t be able to see it but because it’s flat he can see the city in the distance across the flat lake. Yeah good one Mark you’ve made us believers….pause…Not!

Apparently it’s a no brainer, the earth is flat, gravity doesn’t exist and the next thing they’ll be telling us is that space doesn’t exist that’s just the pretty lights of the dome, that would make shooting stars falling light globes and global warming is only happening because the giant air conditioner is broken. Stuck on heat mode it’s melting the ice walls of the dome causing sea levels to rise and weird weather patterns, until the governments of the world can stop bickering over who has the better haircut and send the repairmen up there and fix it. Once that’s done global warming will disappear altogether, they can pull the giant bath plug and let out some of the sea water out so that water recedes to an acceptable level. From their we’ll all go back to continuing the giant lie that the earth is round, covering up the fact the earth is flat not round as we’ve all been lead to believe for our entire lives.

In a disturbing turn of events it seems there is actually a fake space movement, we haven’t looked into it or done any research as we are still trying to wrap our head around the old world theory that explorers will sail right off the edge of the earth as it’s flat. From what we have seen though on twitter and youtube again follows the vein of global conspiracy that we are all being lied to. Wait till flat earth and fake space societies team up and create the we’ve been lied to all our lives society and nothing is real. What we can’t understand is that if the earth is indeed flat does that mean that science is also a fallacy and everything we’ve discovered and know is also a lie. Are we even sitting here typing out this blog for you right. All our combined years on the planet and we still have people whose belief systems aren’t based on sound or measured data that can actually prove their theories. At one point in the documentary they dispelled there own theory through one of their experiments which went down like the Hindenburg in a ball of flames.

What we really struggle to understand is the proof or lack thereof that can prove their theory of a flat earth. Just because we tell you that this is the best blog you will ever read does that make it true? No to prove that you would go and read other blogs before coming back and telling us we were right. You will search for proof, for answers, for data for something measurable against our claim to prove or disprove it. Trust us though we are a great blog. The main claim of the Flat Earth society focuses on the premise that we are and have been lied to by our governments, by NASA, historians, scientists, the list goes on of people throughout history who have lied or helped to continue to cover up that the earth is flat. We are still searching for any data that can prove their theories or that there is a major global cover up underway.

The idea that what we are being told, taught, passed on over generations is a giant lie and that we only believe it to be true because that’s what we know or have been told is a similar argument our good friends at the Anti Vaccination movement also tried to tell us. You know what there is some truth in it. You shouldn’t believe everything you read but you should also do your research thoroughly. It would also help if you have some credible scientist, scholars and spokespeople to help with your cause.  We are yet to see one Flat Earther take a film crew and sail completely around the edge of our supposedly flat earth, documenting either the drop off into the abyss or the giant ice walls that ring us in. But apparently they’ve already supplied us with enough proof that the earth is indeed flat and domed in shape kind of like a giant snow globe just waiting for someone to come along and shake it.

Watching Mark Sargent throw tiny globes into a trash can stating that they are no longer needed and we should be teaching our children about a flat earth, a truthful earth made the team want to go out and find tiny flat earth discs and throw them off the edge of the planet along with Mr Sargent and is band of followers. As he sat there talking about how flight paths of aircraft prove that the earth is flat and not round as they don’t fly curved paths on the computer screen in front of him it dawned on us that this guy was a little from than just nuts. Looking into him a little more we discovered that he is a true conspiracy theorist from Area 51 to 9/11 even so far to say there was a secret government city under the Denver airport. Mark unless the flight paths are in 3D you aren’t going to see the curvature on your screen mate, what you are looking at is a two dimensional image. It’s true people do really listen to and follow morons!.

People put the crack pipe down, stop taking the crazy pills and most importantly wake the hell up. We had a few other choice words in their that we thought were better left out incase any of our younger subscribers were reading this. The earth is most definitely not flat, gravity does indeed exist, beyond the earth is space and we are certainly not alone there has to be other civilizations more advanced than our own who also know the earth is not flat. Oh but you believe in aliens just not that the earth is round, good one Flat Earthers! Out of all the conspiracy theories in the world what on earth would make people think that it’s flat. Is it the lack of mountains, the lack of round appearance as you look at the sky or the pictures taken from space? Whatever it is this is one theory the team can’t even open their minds to. Science and its discoveries have given us a lot over the last couple of hundred years. When Christopher Columbus didn’t sail off the end of the earth we thought the flat earth theory was dead but no it’s sadly lives on in the hearts and minds of people all around the world.

As always we advocate the right to believing whatever you choose, freedom of speech, expression of ideas, theories and hypothesis, we just aren’t on board with the theory that the earth is flat and there is one giant global cover up going on to stop us all from finding out the truth about the earth. If you believe in a flat earth we are happy for you and your 1800’s views just please do us a favour and at least come up with some measurable data to prove so. Until next week ladies and gentlemen, look to the stars for they hold the answers and don’t be afraid to go boldly where no man or woman has gone before. From the team here we wish well and we’ll be gracing your screens once again next week with another installment of A Mind of Its Own…

This is All Now…

Look at the people around you, they are just like you, but they are not you. They may walk, talk and act like you but they are not you. They don’t know your story, they don’t know where you have been or where you are going. We are all individuals on our own path, following our own destiny. We make decisions based on the information we have on hand at the time, some may be right and some will definitely be wrong but for the most part we learn from our mistakes. So what does all this have to writing blogs, novels and putting ourselves out there you ask? Every now and then you come across pure strength, guts and determination. It’s these displays of strength and pure determination that inspire us and are often the driving force behind A Mind of Its Own…

When we talk about pure strength and determination we often think of inhuman feats of strength and trials of survival that are unimaginable. However if you look close enough you will see examples of this strength and determination in everyday life. People going against what is deemed as normal. These things often start as a ripple and work there way out sometimes like a tsunami, fast and furiously reaching their peak and sometimes taking their time to reach the hearts and minds of those standing against change, against progress, against equal opportunities and basic human rights. But in the end most people come around. Just look at Gay marriage it took Australia a lot longer than most of the world to work out that love is love and you should be able to marry whomever you like as long as it’s not your sister, brother or cousin.

So why is it when people do something that goes against the perceived “norm” that portions of the public become outraged or feel they need to always comment? Says the person the behind the keyboard typing out this blog. But you get our point. When people do something for themselves or that goes against what is deemed normal in society what gives people the right to comment and or have an opinion? Is it directly affecting you? Are you suffering from this person doing something that A. May better there life, B. Is something they really want or even C. None of our god damn business. Chances are the answer is no, it is not directly affecting you in any shape or form but being human you feel you are entitled to your opinion and need to voice said opinion. So we are all for people having there own opinions and voicing them but on some occasions there is just no need.

Which leads us into this weeks Mind of Its Own and the topic which was a little strange for us to pick up as really none of us have experience in the field nor are we able to really even empathise with someone in this situation. Single mothers or more important mothers to be and more specifically those strong determined woman who choose to go down the donor route. Utilising In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF), the procedure in which sperm is injected into a egg and then placed back inside the uterus or Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) in which sperm is placed into the uterus via a small tube just prior to ovulation. These strong and determined woman feel a calling that only other women would be able to describe and empathise with, a calling to reproduce, a calling to give birth to their own flesh and blood. That calling to be a mother.

Whilst many people will argue we are put on this earth for one purpose and one purpose only and that is to reproduce and create life. There are many though that do not feel the need to be parents, to bring life into this world. But for those that do it is a magical, wonderful journey. For women, as men writing this we have absolutely no idea the pain and changes your bodies go through in order to carry a child for 9 months in the womb. What’s even more amazing is the changes going on inside you as the child develops from a single cell into a little human. Over the weeks of development the foetus takes on a personality of its own and takes on traits from you and the male, whether that be your partner or a sperm donor. They get half of you and half of the male. But back to the strong women who choose to go it alone. They are no different from any of us, apart from the fact that they have one thing that we often lack.

Courage or drive if you will to do something that a lot of people would shy away from or in some cases find someone they were happy to settle with in order to get what they wanted. In this case a child. But then there are those that have a unique strength within themselves to go after what they want and are happy and driven to do it without needed anyone beside them. They are the true heroes of the world, the women that are truly pushing equal rights and opportunities by showing they don’t need men beside them to have a baby just there sperm to do so.

It was about half way through writing this blog that it struck us that we really do have no idea what women go through when they decide to have a baby let alone what it is like for a woman that chooses to do it on her own. We aren’t qualified to talk about it our to really even comment other than saying good on them for going after what they want and showing that true heroes don’t need to wear capes and tights. It was at this point and perhaps part of our fever induced ramblings from the Man Flu that we decided that all of above is our opinion and ours alone. We don’t pity nor would we treat any woman who decides to have a child on her own any different from a woman with partner, husband or wife. All we can say is that we are in awe of them and respect the decision and drive they have to bring a child into the world.

So to all the baby mummas out there raising children or who are pregnant and doing it on there own we raise our hats and salute you. It’s not courage, guts, strength or some other cosmic drive that has told you to do so but love, love for yourself and love for the little human you are carrying or have carried in your womb for the past 9 months. From the team here at A Mind of Its Own we are going to leave this topic for those in the know and for those who have been through it and can shed some light on the ins and outs of going through IVF in order to have a child. Yes we know that couples often go down the IVF route for a mirriade of medical reasons as well but we are solely reflecting on the women who choose to do it on there own because they want a child.

So from the Man Flu crew we wish all of our fans a great week ahead and to those who have just joined us welcome to the A Mind of Its Own Blog and yes we literally do let the writing take on a Mind of Its Own. We often have no idea how or what the blog is going to end up like. Hence this one we started on a straight track, hit a bend and went off on a tangent to end up talking about single mothers and IVF. It’s not often we stay on track unless its a quest spot or we’ve taken weeks to write a post but no matter what there is always a laugh, something interesting and a little bit of randomness. Peace out…

What it Feels Like to Be a Ghost…

We are back, we’ve finally crawled out of our hole we’ve been hiding in to write you something to write you something, this week you will get two blogs to ensure we are back on track to hit our target of one blog a week at a minimum for twenty nineteen. Whilst we won’t be disappointed if we don’t reach our goals it is still always good to have something to aim at. Goals are a good thing to have and here at A Mind of It’s Own we have plenty of goals and plenty of ambitions for the next couple of years to come.

After a week in hiatus and having to shut down the office in order for a hazmat team in to come in and decontaminate the place the team are slowly starting to bounce back. It’s been a week of antibiotics, steroids lots of tissues, snot, and absolutely not the glamour that we are used to. Gone are the designer suits, shoes, shirts and watches to be replaced by the daggiest clothes we could find. When the term “Netflix and Chill” was created we doubt they had the image of 30 something year old males coughing and spluttering on the couch while watching reruns of their favourite shows from yesteryear. Such has been the way of life for much of the team over the past week.

Having been struck down with a vicious case of the “Man Flu” and yes it is just as real as thigh chafe and bra rub two of the more common ailments our female friends tend to suffer. So this week’s blog is solely dedicated to the plight that thousands of males go through, that’s right we’ve dedicated this weeks blog to the Man Flu. It’s taken us over a week to recover and we are still working through the remainder of what is the worst Man flu to hit the crew since the Black Plague ripped through Europe from 1346 to 1353 and killed millions upon millions. It’s time to wake up people Man flu is a real thing. Yes all those wifes, girlfriends, lovers are groaning and palming their faces, shaking their heads and mouthing “whatever” before looking at every sick man with disgust.

Firstly for our readers who don’t know what it is the ‘Man Flu’ according to both the Oxford and Cambridge dictionaries, that’s right ladies and gentleman it is now in the dictionary and defined as ‘a cold or similar minor ailment as experienced by a man who is regarded as exaggerating the severity of the symptoms’. Another reference taken from Urban dictionary called it ‘Wimpy man syndrome’. Commonly used the term could be describing a constitutional character flaw of men who when felled by cold or flu embellish the severity of their symptoms. That however is about to change, no longer will man need to feel bad for being afflicted with the Man Flu.

Over the centuries women have pointed at, made fun of and even spoken down to the sick man. They’ve said men become sooks or as pointed out ‘Wimpey’, painful and don’t know how to deal with pain or how to handle a little common cold or the flu. Well ladies and gentleman stress no longer because the good people at Memorial University of Newfoundland, that’s in Canada ladies and gentleman. Our good friends over in the land of maple syrup, hockey and Michael Buble have done men the world over proud by actually going out and proving once and for all that men were right for once in their lives .

In what is thought to be the first study of its it’s kind headed up by Doctor Kyle Sue a clinical assistant professor, a team analysed relevant research and found evidence that adult men have a higher risk of hospitalisation and higher rates of influenza associated deaths compared to their female counterparts regardless of underlying diseases.Furthermore the good doctor also found that men, yes ladies men are more susceptible to complications and higher mortality from many acute respiratory diseases, while some evidence supported that those with a dick and balls suffer more from viral respiratory illnesses than women because sadly we men have less robust immune systems.

That little hormone that makes us different from our female biped friends, you know the one, some old men get it as part of replacement therapy as they start to run out of it later in life. Testosterone that thing that athletes and big burly men often spray across the floor of stadiums and sporting fields in order to impress women, get women and often scare off women, could be the one thing that is causing the Man Flu. Testosterone the thing that makes us men, the one hormone we have more of than anything is else the one thing that could be ensuring we are forever to suffer from the dreaded Man Flu.

Thought to suppress the immune system, testosterone could lead to men’s inability to combat things like the common cold and the flu unlike our female counterparts whose sex hormone is believed to boost their immune system. So looking at the research we are sure doctor Sue has helped plant a flag for men around the world and helped to wake people up to the plight that is the Man Flu. It also helps to explain why men are more susceptible to secondary infections and viruses.

For years we have been banging on that we are misunderstood and the man flu was real, now we can finally say that someone has actually done some research, that potentially will forever change the perception of Man Flu. Like all things that people don’t understand our good friend Man Flu will rise up from the ashes and totally shine a light on the fact that it is indeed a real ailment, it is indeed not a myth, not a false claim but is indeed a real life thing that men all around the world have been suffering for centuries. So from all the men around the world thank you to Doctor Kyle Sue and his team for painting some light on our plight.

No longer do we need to be spoken down to in our moments of need, our moments requiring support and most importantly a little compassion and love. Man Flu is real, it is now, it exists and most importantly it defines why we cop a bad rap when we are sick. So without further adieu we bid our loyal fans goodbye for yet another episode and start preparing for next week as well as finishing off the previous weeks blog. With a tonne of writing to get to we’ll leave you with this, if someone is sick or unwell just treat them the way you’d want to be treated it’s the best thing you can do and it’s also pays to be nice. That being said we’ll leave you to it for the week. Long live Man Flu!