Beat Up Car…

As I sat in a Cafe waiting for my over priced flat white and a fat filled ham, cheese and tomato croissant I found myself watching the people around me. Something that I often find myself doing when I am sitting on my own waiting. Most were busy chatting with there friends or colleagues as they too waited for their overpriced caffeinated beverages prepared by the underpaid barrister who seemed to know everyone who walked into the cafe. Amongst them was the odd person who caught my attention through their anxious, nervous behaviour. Like the bleached blonde who continued to tap her foot as her eyes darted around the room like she was waiting for someone to jump out and mug her. Or the gentleman who was attempting to tuck himself deeper and deeper into the corner in the hopes of burying himself in the brickwork and avoiding everyone in the room.

It was the first time I had consciously noticed myself looking for people displaying anxious behaviours. Was it because I myself was feeling anxious? More than likely it was, I was in a city where despite having grown up it no longer felt friendly. I had burnt a lot bridges here and when my anxiety was through the roof I often feared running into people I knew. We’ll call it FOBS (Fear of being seen) which unlike FOMO (Fear of missing out) often has me ducking and weaving particularly when I don’t want to speak to people. I guess you could call me the Ninja of avoidance at times. It was all in the avoidance of having to have those conversations where despite the sincerity often behind them you still can’t help but feel some judgement particularly by those who thought you were going to go places.

That’s not to say I haven’t, I’ve been plenty of places and tried plenty of different things only to fall back on my passion and a job that allows me the flexibility to write when i want and what I want. Had someone asked me what I wanted to do with my life 10 years ago the last thing on my mind would have been to become a writer. Over the years though that urge to tell stories both real and make believe has grown stronger and stronger to the point where I look forward to putting pen to paper or sitting in front of my laptop with a cold beer and tapping out a short piece for a blog or working away on my book. It’s also become a very useful tool in my battle against anxiety and depression.

Through writing I am able to give a voice to the things I struggle to say or speak about with family and friends. I am able to give my demons a face and therefore recognise them in the dark times I find myself in a pit of self loathing, insecurity and pain. Most of all I am able to make sense of why I am feeling the way I am in that particular moment. Like the parting of clouds allowing the sun to shine through I can once again see what is in front of me and live in the moment, rather than worrying about the past. There are some people who would say that writing is another escapism and allows me to once again avoid dealing with the heart of the issue. But it’s to those people that I now write.

Too often we are quick to judge what we do not understand or what scares us. We are quick to point fingers or give labels and throw stereotypes around before we’ve we’ve even considered the ramifications of doing so. Mental illness and I can’t speak for everyone but I can speak for myself does not define me or govern what I can and can’t do. It does not make me any different from you or the people around you. In fact chances are that one of your close friends or family suffers from some form of mental health issue given that statistics say one in every six people is a sufferer.

Again with the labels, sufferer, yes there are days that I struggle, there are days that I go from feeling on top of the world to wallowing in a dark, dank, stinky pit of depression, rage and anxiety but I am not suffering. In fact these days I am probably more the norm than the exception. The only difference you might find between me and you as you read through this is that whilst I might not physically talk about I have learnt that it is ok and I talk about it through my writing. I give a voice to all those who still can’t but will grow and develop on their own journey to learning that it is ok to talk.

Whilst I might be able to put all this down on a page and spread a message to 100s if not 1000s of people around the globe the sad truth of it all is that I am still unable to often talk about it all with my wife, my friends and my family. I struggle to voice when the pendulum is swinging and I am going from high to low but like a beat up old car I will get there in the end. I will get there because without those people in my life I would not be where I am today. I would not have the courage to share my battle with you nor the ability to articulate to you that opening up and expressing yourself, your feelings, your thoughts it’s all ok and you shouldn’t hide from it.

For years I found it easier to hide from it all and bury my feelings only to become that over sensitive person who wanted to have a deep and meaningful after a few beers at the pub. I was that guy that portrayed complete happiness on the outside only to be a minefield on the inside. One wrong step and I exploded, firing off from the hip without a single thought of what was coming from my mouth. My wife often refers to it as my mindless rambling and the point where she knows that I am not ok as what comes out of my mouth makes absolutely no sense. It will take me a couple of hours to come down from my somewhat convoluted high horse of jumbled thoughts and irrational behaviour. Only to enter the feedback loop from hell and get angry at myself for getting angry.

Even now writing this my mind wanders back to all the times I’ve lost my shit, become over anxious, made myself physically sick by over thinking and more often than not tried to numb it all with alcohol rather than talk about what was wrong or how I was feeling or most importantly what had triggered me and why I was feeling it. It also churns over with ideas on how I could have handled things a lot better. All I needed to do was take some time and think about things. Slow down and allow my thoughts to collate, manifest and be reflected upon before they are splurged out into the world as incomprehensible sentences to later be deciphered on my therapist’s couch as I recollect my latest episode where my anxiety and depression got the better of me.

Yeah it still gets the better of me no matter what I techniques or methods I use to get it under control actually sorry that’s not the best words to use. Manageable is a better word to use, whilst there is a part of me that feels one day I will control my anxiety and depression at this point in time I manage them not control them but simply manage them. On a day to day basis I manage my mental health. Sometimes I’ll go weeks on end without it really getting to me or getting me down. Those are the weeks that I have everything in sync, my routine is tight, I’m exercising and I’m being creative whether it be writing, painting, drawing or building something. Ok so keep my mind busy and active it helps me out, except when I am trying to sleep but I’ve found reading tends to send me into dreamland pretty well.

As I finished my croissant and watched the blonde lady continue to tap out an anxious beat I gave her a reassuring smile to let her know that everything will be ok. The world may not be black and white, it may not be clear cut and dry and it certainly may not always be predictable but it is what you and I choose to make it. Despite those days where you might feel you have control over nothing in your life you do have the options and ability to change things. It was a lesson that took me over twenty years to learn and one that I no doubt thought I never would as I became more depressed and anxious overtime that I wasn’t a somebody and swimming in money like Scrooge McDuck.

In those often fleeting moments where I find myself people watching and wondering what there lives are like and whether they often struggle I am reminded of the greatest, most precious and real piece of information I will ever receive. I am human! We are the only species on the earth that is able to feel a raft of emotions and think cognitively for ourselves. We are the only species that is allowed the freedom of thought. Whether we can voice those thoughts is a different question all together and not one that I am willing to broach in this price of writing. My point being we are blessed with imaginations, thoughts, feelings, pain and the ability to experience it all in the way we want.

Your mental health issues do not make you a monster that should be hidden away from the world. Sure it can be monster that needs taming and made beautiful from time to time but it does not make you a bad person, it does not make you someone who should be a social pariah or shunned by friends and family. It makes you a superhuman in my book. You are someone who battles day in, day out. It makes you often more human than those around you as you feel everything and often have the ability to feel and read people’s energy when you enter a room.

Mistakes will be made, things will no doubt fall apart but just as there a bad times there will be good times and you are human. Your mental health is important and you are important remember that. We each have a story to tell and something to contribute. As the sun dawns on another day and I board yet another flight for another city I urge you all to find your voice whether that be interptive through one of the arts or through speaking with friends and family or even a stranger. It’s ok to talk and will become more and more encouraged as we rid the world of the stigma that mental health issues are taboo and shouldn’t be discussed.

As I write this I know there is much more that should be said and could be said but I have already taken up enough of your time with this health check and sanity piece. On behalf of the team and myself at A Mind of Its Own we appreciate your readership and constant support as we bring you a new piece each and every week. I promise I’ll hand you back to the team next week to give you a zany take on a topic that comes to us in the early hours of the morning when we should be fast asleep dreaming of tropical beaches. Until next week take it easy. TC…

This is All Now…

Look at the people around you, they are just like you, but they are not you. They may walk, talk and act like you but they are not you. They don’t know your story, they don’t know where you have been or where you are going. We are all individuals on our own path, following our own destiny. We make decisions based on the information we have on hand at the time, some may be right and some will definitely be wrong but for the most part we learn from our mistakes. So what does all this have to writing blogs, novels and putting ourselves out there you ask? Every now and then you come across pure strength, guts and determination. It’s these displays of strength and pure determination that inspire us and are often the driving force behind A Mind of Its Own…

When we talk about pure strength and determination we often think of inhuman feats of strength and trials of survival that are unimaginable. However if you look close enough you will see examples of this strength and determination in everyday life. People going against what is deemed as normal. These things often start as a ripple and work there way out sometimes like a tsunami, fast and furiously reaching their peak and sometimes taking their time to reach the hearts and minds of those standing against change, against progress, against equal opportunities and basic human rights. But in the end most people come around. Just look at Gay marriage it took Australia a lot longer than most of the world to work out that love is love and you should be able to marry whomever you like as long as it’s not your sister, brother or cousin.

So why is it when people do something that goes against the perceived “norm” that portions of the public become outraged or feel they need to always comment? Says the person the behind the keyboard typing out this blog. But you get our point. When people do something for themselves or that goes against what is deemed normal in society what gives people the right to comment and or have an opinion? Is it directly affecting you? Are you suffering from this person doing something that A. May better there life, B. Is something they really want or even C. None of our god damn business. Chances are the answer is no, it is not directly affecting you in any shape or form but being human you feel you are entitled to your opinion and need to voice said opinion. So we are all for people having there own opinions and voicing them but on some occasions there is just no need.

Which leads us into this weeks Mind of Its Own and the topic which was a little strange for us to pick up as really none of us have experience in the field nor are we able to really even empathise with someone in this situation. Single mothers or more important mothers to be and more specifically those strong determined woman who choose to go down the donor route. Utilising In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF), the procedure in which sperm is injected into a egg and then placed back inside the uterus or Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) in which sperm is placed into the uterus via a small tube just prior to ovulation. These strong and determined woman feel a calling that only other women would be able to describe and empathise with, a calling to reproduce, a calling to give birth to their own flesh and blood. That calling to be a mother.

Whilst many people will argue we are put on this earth for one purpose and one purpose only and that is to reproduce and create life. There are many though that do not feel the need to be parents, to bring life into this world. But for those that do it is a magical, wonderful journey. For women, as men writing this we have absolutely no idea the pain and changes your bodies go through in order to carry a child for 9 months in the womb. What’s even more amazing is the changes going on inside you as the child develops from a single cell into a little human. Over the weeks of development the foetus takes on a personality of its own and takes on traits from you and the male, whether that be your partner or a sperm donor. They get half of you and half of the male. But back to the strong women who choose to go it alone. They are no different from any of us, apart from the fact that they have one thing that we often lack.

Courage or drive if you will to do something that a lot of people would shy away from or in some cases find someone they were happy to settle with in order to get what they wanted. In this case a child. But then there are those that have a unique strength within themselves to go after what they want and are happy and driven to do it without needed anyone beside them. They are the true heroes of the world, the women that are truly pushing equal rights and opportunities by showing they don’t need men beside them to have a baby just there sperm to do so.

It was about half way through writing this blog that it struck us that we really do have no idea what women go through when they decide to have a baby let alone what it is like for a woman that chooses to do it on her own. We aren’t qualified to talk about it our to really even comment other than saying good on them for going after what they want and showing that true heroes don’t need to wear capes and tights. It was at this point and perhaps part of our fever induced ramblings from the Man Flu that we decided that all of above is our opinion and ours alone. We don’t pity nor would we treat any woman who decides to have a child on her own any different from a woman with partner, husband or wife. All we can say is that we are in awe of them and respect the decision and drive they have to bring a child into the world.

So to all the baby mummas out there raising children or who are pregnant and doing it on there own we raise our hats and salute you. It’s not courage, guts, strength or some other cosmic drive that has told you to do so but love, love for yourself and love for the little human you are carrying or have carried in your womb for the past 9 months. From the team here at A Mind of Its Own we are going to leave this topic for those in the know and for those who have been through it and can shed some light on the ins and outs of going through IVF in order to have a child. Yes we know that couples often go down the IVF route for a mirriade of medical reasons as well but we are solely reflecting on the women who choose to do it on there own because they want a child.

So from the Man Flu crew we wish all of our fans a great week ahead and to those who have just joined us welcome to the A Mind of Its Own Blog and yes we literally do let the writing take on a Mind of Its Own. We often have no idea how or what the blog is going to end up like. Hence this one we started on a straight track, hit a bend and went off on a tangent to end up talking about single mothers and IVF. It’s not often we stay on track unless its a quest spot or we’ve taken weeks to write a post but no matter what there is always a laugh, something interesting and a little bit of randomness. Peace out…

What it Feels Like to Be a Ghost…

We are back, we’ve finally crawled out of our hole we’ve been hiding in to write you something to write you something, this week you will get two blogs to ensure we are back on track to hit our target of one blog a week at a minimum for twenty nineteen. Whilst we won’t be disappointed if we don’t reach our goals it is still always good to have something to aim at. Goals are a good thing to have and here at A Mind of It’s Own we have plenty of goals and plenty of ambitions for the next couple of years to come.

After a week in hiatus and having to shut down the office in order for a hazmat team in to come in and decontaminate the place the team are slowly starting to bounce back. It’s been a week of antibiotics, steroids lots of tissues, snot, and absolutely not the glamour that we are used to. Gone are the designer suits, shoes, shirts and watches to be replaced by the daggiest clothes we could find. When the term “Netflix and Chill” was created we doubt they had the image of 30 something year old males coughing and spluttering on the couch while watching reruns of their favourite shows from yesteryear. Such has been the way of life for much of the team over the past week.

Having been struck down with a vicious case of the “Man Flu” and yes it is just as real as thigh chafe and bra rub two of the more common ailments our female friends tend to suffer. So this week’s blog is solely dedicated to the plight that thousands of males go through, that’s right we’ve dedicated this weeks blog to the Man Flu. It’s taken us over a week to recover and we are still working through the remainder of what is the worst Man flu to hit the crew since the Black Plague ripped through Europe from 1346 to 1353 and killed millions upon millions. It’s time to wake up people Man flu is a real thing. Yes all those wifes, girlfriends, lovers are groaning and palming their faces, shaking their heads and mouthing “whatever” before looking at every sick man with disgust.

Firstly for our readers who don’t know what it is the ‘Man Flu’ according to both the Oxford and Cambridge dictionaries, that’s right ladies and gentleman it is now in the dictionary and defined as ‘a cold or similar minor ailment as experienced by a man who is regarded as exaggerating the severity of the symptoms’. Another reference taken from Urban dictionary called it ‘Wimpy man syndrome’. Commonly used the term could be describing a constitutional character flaw of men who when felled by cold or flu embellish the severity of their symptoms. That however is about to change, no longer will man need to feel bad for being afflicted with the Man Flu.

Over the centuries women have pointed at, made fun of and even spoken down to the sick man. They’ve said men become sooks or as pointed out ‘Wimpey’, painful and don’t know how to deal with pain or how to handle a little common cold or the flu. Well ladies and gentleman stress no longer because the good people at Memorial University of Newfoundland, that’s in Canada ladies and gentleman. Our good friends over in the land of maple syrup, hockey and Michael Buble have done men the world over proud by actually going out and proving once and for all that men were right for once in their lives .

In what is thought to be the first study of its it’s kind headed up by Doctor Kyle Sue a clinical assistant professor, a team analysed relevant research and found evidence that adult men have a higher risk of hospitalisation and higher rates of influenza associated deaths compared to their female counterparts regardless of underlying diseases.Furthermore the good doctor also found that men, yes ladies men are more susceptible to complications and higher mortality from many acute respiratory diseases, while some evidence supported that those with a dick and balls suffer more from viral respiratory illnesses than women because sadly we men have less robust immune systems.

That little hormone that makes us different from our female biped friends, you know the one, some old men get it as part of replacement therapy as they start to run out of it later in life. Testosterone that thing that athletes and big burly men often spray across the floor of stadiums and sporting fields in order to impress women, get women and often scare off women, could be the one thing that is causing the Man Flu. Testosterone the thing that makes us men, the one hormone we have more of than anything is else the one thing that could be ensuring we are forever to suffer from the dreaded Man Flu.

Thought to suppress the immune system, testosterone could lead to men’s inability to combat things like the common cold and the flu unlike our female counterparts whose sex hormone is believed to boost their immune system. So looking at the research we are sure doctor Sue has helped plant a flag for men around the world and helped to wake people up to the plight that is the Man Flu. It also helps to explain why men are more susceptible to secondary infections and viruses.

For years we have been banging on that we are misunderstood and the man flu was real, now we can finally say that someone has actually done some research, that potentially will forever change the perception of Man Flu. Like all things that people don’t understand our good friend Man Flu will rise up from the ashes and totally shine a light on the fact that it is indeed a real ailment, it is indeed not a myth, not a false claim but is indeed a real life thing that men all around the world have been suffering for centuries. So from all the men around the world thank you to Doctor Kyle Sue and his team for painting some light on our plight.

No longer do we need to be spoken down to in our moments of need, our moments requiring support and most importantly a little compassion and love. Man Flu is real, it is now, it exists and most importantly it defines why we cop a bad rap when we are sick. So without further adieu we bid our loyal fans goodbye for yet another episode and start preparing for next week as well as finishing off the previous weeks blog. With a tonne of writing to get to we’ll leave you with this, if someone is sick or unwell just treat them the way you’d want to be treated it’s the best thing you can do and it’s also pays to be nice. That being said we’ll leave you to it for the week. Long live Man Flu!

A Decade Under the Influence…

Of all the asinine things in the world we’d have to say we’ve hit the mother load this week as we head into another chapter of A Mind of Its Own. Just when we thought the world couldn’t surprise us anymore, just when we thought we were slowly starting to get on some stable footing and just when we thought there’d be some good news to come across our desks. The world flips us on our head and pushes us into a deep, dark pit of despair once again. Why you ask? Because for people who are meant to be at the top of the food chain we do some very stupid things. Things that often leave us scratching our heads and asking whiskey, tango, foxtrot (WTF)? And if you don’t know what that means we aren’t going to spell it out for you this is a safe environment that tries not to offend readers with profanities.

Human Beings for all our brilliance often do some very dumb things, recently an article came across the desks of one of the writers who often provides this fine blog with ideas, inspiration and from time to time a piece of writing or two. The article whilst on first glance was quite mundane and something that normally wouldn’t interest the team here at A Mind of Its Own. But after a second glance and a few giggles, like we were back in primary school hearing the words penis and vagina for the first time. Reading it again and again we began to see the stupidity that comes when people see something that could potentially be used as something else or will give them an ability to get more likes on social media.

So we’ve all walked past one of those Lush cosmetics stores, you know the ones you can smell them from one end of the shopping centre and you’re standing down the other end on the lower level. Yeah you know the one we are talking about now. Well it seems they’ve brought a new bath bomb range just in time for valentines day, what that’s not a surprise you say given they are known for their fruity chemical cocktails that get lobbed into your bathtub turning the water every colour under the sun as they foam up the water from their fizz. Well our dear friends this isn’t just any bath bomb range this is the bomb range to end all bomb ranges in your bath. The range includes an emoji peach, a banana and the one phallic symbol that every dirty text message since emojis were invented has included and been banned by instagram. Yes folks you’ve heard it here they’ve come out with the big eggplant emoji in a bath bomb. That big purple monster can add some fizz along with a little hilarity to your valentines day bath.

What’s the big issue you ask? It’s a little fun and something that might spice up your romantic overpriced, commercialed day. Well the issue ladies and gentleman is that some of our female species and potentially male have decided that since it looks like the big eggplant they’ve been sent in many a text message from people feeling in the mood, they’d try to use them as a sex toy. Instead of that fizz dissolving in your bath it’s now fizzing away in vaginas and anuses all around the world. Again we can hear people saying what’s the issue with that? If people want to use the Eggplant emoji bath bomb as a dildo why can’t they? Firstly just don’t and secondly well just don’t there are several medical reasons as to why you’re not supposed to put bath bombs up your vajutes or butt.

If we hadn’t found several articles on it we wouldn’t have believed it ourselves, by doing exactly this you are compromising the good bacteria inside your vagina, direct quote from a doctor, someone who actually took the time to go to university for 6 plus years and learn all about the body. This particular doctor though specialises in Obstetrics and gynecology so we trust her judgement on the matter. Oh and she’s a woman so she has one, a vagina that is. To put it bluntly you are killing all the good bacteria that helps your vagina self regulate, yeah we learnt that as well this week, the vagina is an amazing organ that cleans itself. They don’t teach you that in sex education, instead they introduce you to the banana yet another phallic symbol that has often been where it shouldn’t have as well. Causing a slight itch or at worst a severe urinary tract infection.

The fact that bath bombs include the following ingredients some of which are chemicals we might add is a clear indication as to why you shouldn’t put them where they don’t belong. Citric Acid, Bergamot Oil, Ho Wood Oil, Litsea Cubeba Oil, Tonka Absolute, Fresh Aubergine, Cream of Tartar, Water, Titanium Dioxide, Sodium Coco Sulfate, Propylene Glycol, Synthetic Fluorphlogopite, Tin Oxide, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Alpha-Isomethyl Ionone, Benzyl Alcohol, Butylphenyl Methylpropional, Citral, Coumarin, Hydroxycitronellal, Limonene, Linalool, Perfume and Colours a shit load of colours each with a different 5 to 6 digit number.

If that’s not enough to turn anyone off from trying to make love to one of these eggplant emoji shaped bath bombs we don’t know what is. The fact that putting any of the above in your vagina screams please give me a serious urinary tract infection if i put this where it shouldn’t go, should be enough to stop people but alas it doesn’t. Despite all the warning labels and warnings from specialist doctors people are still trying to use them as sex toys which takes us back to our above statement about humans being stupid. Maybe some of it’s inherited, maybe some of it’s the internet and social media and maybe just maybe its something do with our laziness as people. Always looking for the quickest and easiest way from point A to B.

Ladies and Gentleman if you feel that you need to make love to an emoji that looks like an eggplant we have done our research for you. Guess what? You are in luck! There is a company that makes an actual sex toy shaped and coloured like the emoji symbol so many people are using as a dick in text messages these days. It’s made of latex and apparently is safe for you to stick where the sun doesn’t shine till your little hearts are content. So instead of sticking that bath bomb up there and compromising your bodies internal ecosystem spend the money and get one that you don’t have to worry about the effects on your foo foo or butt hole.

Is it just the team here at a mind of its own or is social media not only allowing people to do dumb things but driving them to do them as well? With the main driver behind Instagram being to get likes, influence others and grow your network. The trend of “Doin it for the Gram” has seen a spate of idiotic post make their way onto instagram and other social media platforms. We can only imagine the posts making their way onto instagram the days and weeks following the release of lush’s new bath bomb emoji line. #Soreanditchyvagine not put these in your peach etc. There you go folks coined a new hashtag right here. If it’s not people shoving things into orifices they don’t belong, then it’s something else completely idiotic.

Scrolling through Reddit we came across a feed for something called the Tide Pod Challenge you’ll have to forgive us if this is old news but like the ice bucket challenge or the somebody Kardashian lip challenge we were and always will be late to the party. So this tide pod challenge what on earth could it be. Living close to the ocean our money was on something stupid involving the ocean and getting dunked. Lucky we didn’t have a bet down or that money would be going straight to the house. They say the house always wins, in this case it would have won without a challenge. The Tide Pod Challenge like the ice bucket challenge made its way onto social media when a teenager ate one of those prepackaged laundry pods that wash your clothes or dishes and dared his mate to take up the mantle of the challenge.

Again are people getting dumb? That shit can kill you! Depending on the ingredients you might be lucky to just get away with explosive diarrhea but more than likely if it doesn’t kill you it will give you caustic burns to your cheeks, esophagus and stomach. So while you’ve got explosive diarrhea there is a good chance you will also be bleeding from your bum, coughing up blood and not in a good way at all. Good one humanity we are really showing our finest selves on the internet these days. And we thought people experimenting with there sex toy like bath bombs was bad enough, nope some idiots on the internet had to go and one up them and eat washing powder. Seriously what is wrong with people these days? If anyone knows the answer we’d love to hear it. It’s bad enough we can’t seem to find a decent leader to look after our country and our closest ally is ruled by a freaking umpa lumpa who wants to build a wall and a space army.

It seems even the smart people are being struck by dumb although the more research we do here regarding Mr Musk the more we begin to question whether he actually does have any smarts or he’s just got some very smart people working for him who have some genius level ideas that once down on paper make him a fortune. Example in point is that he managed to sell 20,000 flamethrower guns to the public. Our American friends are already crazy enough without there own flamethrowing guns. Toted as the extreme BBQ lighter it wasn’t long before internet erupted with people doing stupid things with there newly named ‘not a flamethrower’ due to some law around calling it an actual flamethrower.

Wait, wait, wait you can’t call it a flamethrower but you can sell it to the public? The majority of who will no doubt do something completely idiotic with it? Who’s the silly person here Elon Musk for thinking this is a good idea? Or the authorities for allowing his drilling company BORING to sell the damn things to the public in the first place? Either way the man with the mouth that never seems to stop and who thinks he’s smarter than everyone in the world made $10 Million selling flamethrower guns and internet got a new bunch of idiots doing stupid things with guns that throw flames. High five said no one with half a brain anywhere!. We’d love to say all these incidents are isolated to the continental united states but unfortunately they aren’t. Australia is seeing its fair share of idiotic things as people are regularly warned and advised by professionals not to do things and yet we keep doing them.

Then there are the people who just don’t have brains, like the countless people who get into bar fights after getting so plastered they don’t remember what day of the week it is or how they got to the bar in the first place. They then end up with an injury that requires a couple of stitches or a bone being reset. Managing to get themselves into a cab, they show some signs of brain function. Right up until the point they dial 000 on there way to hospital and ask for an ambulance. Yeah you might be drunk but surely you are not that stupid, folks it’s time to wake up and stop taking the silly pills. We are top of the food chain for a reason, we have brains and imaginations on top of that we have opposable thumbs and are able to think for ourselves, fend for ourselves and most importantly be ourselves. Unless yourself is a complete moron, then be someone else please for the love of humanity.

So ladies and gentlemen, if something doesn’t look like it should be placed in one of your orifices don’t do it that includes bath bombs and pods. If you have the opportunity to buy a flamethrower just don’t. Unless you are planning on joining a militia, joining Trump’s spaceforce or like most people who bought one just don’t have a brain. One thing writing this post did, was teach us that despite all the warning labels, public announcements and common sense people are always going to do what they want and as they say rules are their to be broken right? Seems if it can hurt, is bad for you or can ultimately kill you someone, somewhere will do it and with social media these days, there is a good chance that someone is filming it for the world.

Until next week stay safe and heed the following public service announcement. Dumb people will continue to do dumb things over and over again continuing to get the same results. Smarter people will do it once or twice before realising that they are being dumb and Smart people just won’t do it at all. Don’t use your bath bombs as sex toys no matter how appealing it might be. Don’t eat your dishwasher tablets because curiosity got the better of you and last but not least leave flamethrowers to the military those guys are trained professionals. Be good to your folks and we’ll be seeing you next week for a brand new episode of A Mind of Its Own…

Cute Without the E…

TRIP UPDATE: We’ve done a lot of KM’s team is starting to get frustrated with each other and the singing in the car. No one wants to write about the trip. All the writers have other topics in mind that are much more interesting than another bloody travel blog in the world or fashion blog or self help blog. So they keep saying but I guess you the readers will be the judge of that as you are week in week out. Having travelled the 2500 kms to reach our destination on the NSW coast just past Wollongong, it’s time for a little relaxing, some swimming and winding down before we all head back to work next week.

Since no one wanted to write about the trip, we battered around topics and someone yelled out two words that made the boss sit up a little straighter in his chair and ask ‘what the fuck?’. Those two words, aren’t words that usually go together and two words that well, unless the topic is well and truly understood and explained, people may take issue with. We already know a few people who will read the first couple of paragraphs and comment without reading any further and actually understanding the topic. So before you become all righteous and moral please read on and understand what it is we are really talking about.

When traveling in a car there aren’t a lot of things that can be done other than listening to music, playing eye spy or getting in some good old sleep. There are those certain people that are able to read without getting motion sickness which if you can is a great way to kill time on a road trip. The A Mind of Its Own team however decided that since they had time to kill they would put on audiobooks, listen to podcasts they’ve been meaning to get to and even take photos, videos and audio of the car trip. Whilst listening to an audiobook the topic of ‘Outrage Porn’ came up. Yeah that’s right OUTRAGE PORN for all of you who are now starting to think to themselves that there was no disclaimer at the beginning of the blog warning, that this would turn x-rated within the first couple of paragraphs. Get your filthy minds out of the gutter for a couple of minutes it takes you to read this post. This topic has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with porn, the porn industry or anything that could be remotely collarated back to actual pornography.

And in the space of one sentence we’ve just lot 90% of our male readers and perhaps some of our female readers as well. We are sorry to disappoint you guys, I’m sure one of the more salty individuals on the team could write about it at one point for you. Outrage Porn, a phrase that referrers to any type of media that is specifically written and or designed to evoke outrage for the purpose of getting traffic or online attention. So basically it’s people and or organisations who are going around, picking up on an idea, issue and or something that outrages someone and fanning the flames of that rage to ensure that more and more people become outraged by it. Could you call them professional shit stirrers? We guess you could but with social media these days everyone has an opinion about everything and is happy to voice it.

With everyone having an opinion and having a platform to voice it is it hard not to offend someone at some point throughout your life whether intentionally or unintentionally people are more more and more empowered to speak out against things they don’t like or feel are oppressing them. By generating this outrage that will yes, likely outrage someone else through a topic that is mildly offensive or not at all offensive, the example used was a book about racism being read at a university to teach people that racism is not ok. While we are busy battling between each other about bullshit that doesn’t even matter and the media is profiting off our feud as they continue to flame the hatred on each side of the invisible battlelines drawn we are missing the real picture.

Society is being distracted from it’s real problems. We have too many self proclaimed victims are taking attention away from actual victims. The example the writer used, was that its like the story of the boy who cried wolf. With more and more people claiming they are victims, the harder it becomes for society to see who the actual victims are. With the media creating outrage over every miniscule situation the larger issues begin to lose the attention they need and deserve. We aren’t saying that people aren’t entitled to their opinion or to feel victimised. What we are saying here is that there are issues that should be given a lot of attention like sexual assault, violence against women and the likes but with the Fog of bullshit floating around it’s hard to get messages that actually matter out to the public, where changes can be made.

Unfortunately people have become addicted to feeling offended, the author of the audiobook that gave us this idea explains that like taking drugs, people can come addicted to becoming offended. To put it in his words “It gives them a high; being self righteous and morally superior feels good”. It explains why we have so many people who are happy to take offense to any and everything. In some regards social media has become like a soapbox in which they can stand and play there moral violins until there little hearts are content all the while forgetting there are actual societal issues that really need addressing. As much as these people with their opinions are to blame so is the media. They know that feel good stories do not sell news, newspapers or magazines. They know that outrage porn is like the sex of yesteryear, it sells! People have short attention spans and the best way to get there attention is outrage.

As written in the book, the public sharing of injustices gains far more attention and outpourings of emotions than almost all other events shared on social media these days. It rewards people who themselves feel victimised with a growing amount of attention and sympathy. Anyone who is offended about anything feels like they have been oppressed in someway and therefore deserves to be outraged and have some attention can stand up and voice that opinion. If the media or other followers get a hold of it and repost it or retweet it, we find ourself in the outrage porn cycle where someone will no doubt take offense to those who have already taken offense. As Mark Manson the author states “Victimhood Chic, a responsibility/fault fallacy that allows people to pass off responsibility for solving their problems to others. This ability to alleviate responsibility through blame gives people a temporary high and feeling of moral righteousness”

Pit two outraged individuals against each other and the story almost writes and sells itself. In a networked world it’s hard to work out what to listen to and what to ignore these days. Democracy allows us freedom of speech and that freedom allows every individual to voice their opinion whether it is right or wrong. We my not agree with it, just like we may not like everyone we come across but we do have to accept it. Pick your battles they say, take everything with a healthy dose of skepticism particularly when it comes to the media. They are paid money to provide us with news whether its an actual story or one that’s grown from fanning the flames someone perceived moral outrage.

Mainly don’t waste your time or energy on things that aren’t going to serve you well in the long run. There is always going to be something to take offense at, there is always going to be an individual or group who feel there has been an injustice towards them or take issues with a topic or person. Moral outrage will forever have a place in democratic societies, it’s the world we live in and the price you pay for living in a democratic society. Everyone has an opinion and a right to voice that opinion, no ands, ifs or buts. It’s just the way it is, like it or lump it. If you really feel outraged we can find someone to turn it from a small issues into a full blown issues probably within the space of 20 minutes after it’s been posted to social media.

Just try to keep in mind that through all the noise and bullshit out there, there are actual victims who need to be heard. We are all for the voicing of opinions and people feeling like they have been victimised but please don’t let your small problem get in the way of someone with an actual problem who has been wronged in the world and needs, deserves to heard. By all means take offense to this blog but at the end of the day there are far bigger things that deserve attention than people taking issue with a blog about people taking issue to small insignificant things and muddying the water for those who need to be seen through it.

Some of you will have picked up that some of the ideas in this blog came to us from Mark Manson’s book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. Normally here at A Mind of Its own we are not ones for self help books but as we ate up the road we listened in to the audiobook and started to see that the man has a lot of good points and we were able to relate them to our lives or see them from the perspective picture he was painting. So if you are interested in broadening your horizons and looking at ways in which you can see things from another perspective we highly recommend you check out his book. The premise as we’ve had to explain several times is not what the title suggests.

So as we close this chapter on Outrage Porn and the media fanning the flames of victims outrage all around the world we’ve looked back at our own outrage and decided that enough is enough and we’ll take responsibilities for our problems rather than palming them off or evoking injustice throughout the country for someone to get outraged against. And we’ll just say we look forward to our next blog! Until then there is all of last years posts that you can look back through, laugh and cry or be outraged until your heart’s content. Take it easy!!! The team at A Mind of Its Own…

With Friends like you, Who needs Friends…

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, there’s toys in every store if you head to the toy section all year round not just at christmas and if we go to the butcher we can guaranteed unless you are going to play with your Christmas Ham they aren’t going to have toys so the song is doing a little false advertising but that’s ok. Like Easter though as soon as one major event is over it’s time to roll out the next. In this case most shopping centres have been rolling out their christmas decorations since October. Christmas tunes are blasting our years as of November and come the start of December there is no escaping the fact that Christmas is well and truly upon us, followed very closely by new years and then before you know it Australia (Invasion) Day. After Australia/invasion Day you can finally relax and enjoy some down time until easter but you will start to see easter eggs as of the 27th of January.

We’ve lit the candles on another cake and started the macarena in order to celebrate in style. The padlock has come off the drinks fridge and someone has said it’s time to party like it’s nineteen ninety nine. Does that mean we should all hide and worry about the Y2K bug or channel our inner Prince throw on our best purple velvet suit and rock out? Who knows but for the team here it’s GO time and time to celebrate all the good things that came with the year. Time to let the hair down and time to throw the rule book out the window along with all our cares in the world. So tip your head back, throw back a drink or two and settle in with us to celebrate. By the way the title has nothing to do with the Blog as per usual and we are still waiting for someone to tell us what they all have in common…

So with the year creeping rapidly towards a close and A Mind of Its Own reaching yet another major milestone with this post. We thought why not look back on the best of the blog through 2018. With the half century now posted on the scoreboard we are waving our bat and saluting the crowd unlike the Australian cricket team who are still suffering from the ball tampering incident earlier in the year and are coping it from the Indian’s currently tourning. As we salute the stadium and our fans (that’s you guys) from being such good sports and being so patient with us throughout the year. We thank you for providing us with some great feedback, your continued support and your viewership on a weekly basis. Without you guys this blog wouldn’t work and we certainly wouldn’t have managed to write about some of the more stranger topics that we have covered over the year like Trump’s Space Force which we are still super excited about if it ever grows legs. It’ll be the best thing he’s done since the apprentice.

We also wouldn’t have entered contests like shit blog weekly and dunny readers anonymous or the Australian Blog awards. Saving that last one for our 2019 debut into the blogosphere. Truth be told we’ve loved every minute and every edition on of A Mind of Its Own in 2019. We’ve grown the family and added two office dogs who do very little to contribute other than tearing up the cease and desist letters we fail to receive on a weekly basis as our mail clerks seem to spend more time chewing them, than reading them. In some ways we are lucky that we are a totally digital platform otherwise I can guarantee a lot of these blogs wouldn’t have made it to print with those to furballs.

In what was a big year we managed to make a mockery of the Commonwealth Games, attack the plastic fantastics on the Gold Coast on more than one occasion, Harass Trump on several occasions, find the infamous owl statue in Canberra that looks more like a penis, no we are not joking about that just google owl+penis statue+Canberra and laugh continually at the bosses run of misfortune when it came to travelling for the job that keeps the doors open to this fine establishment. The writing was superfluous, we handed over the reigns on more than one occasion and even let the office pooches have there say or two. We put ourselves at the edge of our comfort zones and pushed our bodies to the limit to give you what we call life in a nutshell. There were diets and fads, gym sessions and drinking, fashion and travel. There wasn’t a topic too big or too small that couldn’t take on A Mind of Its Own…

From bumper stickers to ball tampering we covered it all and gave it that special twist that you’ve come to love and respect from the team. There have been heartfelt moments, tears, more than a few tantrums and on the odd occasion a little blood in our endeavour to bring a voice to the topics our fans want covered. A lot pain goes into finding things that people don’t want to talk about. We are raw, open and honest with our thoughts, feelings and often criticism as we poke fun and holes in things throughout each blog. Inspiration has been found through various different mediums whether it be an event, a situation or a person, something has inspired us to write the 49 blogs that have come before this one and the however many that will certainly follow. The team are not done yet unravelling the mysteries of the world around us. With a new year there will certainly be a whole heap of new topics coping our no holds bar approach.

So what did we cover over the year? We started out with Music and discussing everyone’s theme songs before moving onto Arsegate The Commonwealth Games greatest shame, the bunnings sandpaper bonanza, a look at Australia’s most favourite and endeared bird that should replace the emu on the coat of arms. We touched on questionable tattoos, athletes decisions, man’s need to fuck things up. There wasn’t a topic that didn’t make it to the drawing board in the office before some bright spark in legal told us it was a big no, no to write about that or unethical, in fact the works politically correct were used on more than one occasion forcing us to stop, look and listen like we were crossing a mental road. We continue to advocate that it is ok to talk about mental health issues particularly if you are a man and we even reviewed a video game or two.

We’ve renewed our free subscription to Google in order to search for any information we don’t have on hardfile or can’t get off the streets or our trusty informants who continually drop knowledge bombs like red spots specials at your local supermarket. We are also entering into the PodCast arena with a sweet little doozy that will be called ‘Blankety, Blank, Blank powered by A Mind of Its Own’ Your favourite blog gets a real voice unfortunately both James Earl Jones and Morgan Freeman were way too expensive and also unavailable so you’ll be stuck with the not so dulcet tones of the boss as he nasals his way through a different topic each week with hopefully some special guests and hosts otherwise it may not be a long living podcast that you will all grow tired of fairly quickly.

From year to year we’ve set goals, this year was all about discovering our style and setting up a fan base. In the new year we’ll set some big goals and like Buddy Franklin wheel around to our left and let fly from fifty through the middle. Why will we achieve our goals? That’s simple because of the people that read this blog week in week out. It’s you guys that make this blog, it’s you guys that we’ll continue to write for and continue to work hard at bringing you the topics that really matter both home and abroad. So with our 50th blog we thank each and everyone of you for taking the time to read our weekly post. Our fans are our biggest source of inspiration.

Without further adieu happy 50th blog post to us, at the beginning of the year had someone asked us if we’d write almost a post a week we probably would have said NO, but it’s become a religious thing for us by which we feel extremely bad if we haven’t posted for the week. We have some amazing fans who continually leave us comments on the website or for those that know the writers and personally comment to them about one of the posts or a specific line. Again we thank all of the fans from the casual readers to the die hard never miss a post fans.

To the next milestone we are thinking we’ll do it in quarters but who knows we might just let you all know once we’ve cracked the ton and can wave the bat around for the second time proudly knowing we’ve achieved another major milestone. But like they say you have to celebrate the wins no matter how big so we’ll celebrate when we can. In the office we’ve cracked open a nice bottle of scotch shared a dram or two and stumbled out to celebrate with friends and family. Or in some cases on our own or with the office hounds.

Until next week and another new post we bid you farewell and hope you’ve cracked a can or two in our honor. If you don’t read next week blogs we wish you a Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate or don’t celebrate this time of year. It’s a time for family and friends. And as a side note we don’t condone drinking, we do condone celebrating, enjoying yourselves, having fun and by all means being safe! As long as it’s in moderation! Adios Amigos!

Leave the War with Me…

There is something to be said for finding your happy place particularly in times of need. Go to your happy place… It sounds like something out of an Adam Sandler film perhaps it was Happy Gilmore as he attempted to putt for the millionth time in order to get enough money to get his grandmother’s house back from the debt collectors but whatever it was he found a place in which he could be happy and himself. So what’s your happy place? Given it’s Christmas and it’s often a hard time of year for so many who are battling their own demons, we thought it appropriate we look at anxiety and depression and how to cope with them throughout the silly season.

Once again we’ve handed the reins over to the the creator of this here fine piece of media to discuss Anxiety and Depression through the holiday period. Knowing it’s a time of year when things start to become a little tiring, a little stressful and somewhat difficult to cope. We handed over the writing of this weeks blog to the Grumpy old man of the office after all it was the least we could do considering we didn’t get him a christmas gift. He has all sorts of coping mechanism for dealing with his anxiety and depression but his best and favourite outlet or his ‘Happy Place’ if you will is sitting right in front of a keyboard listening to the click, clack of keys as he taps out some writing from the original mind of its own. So without further adieu we hand over the keys to the kingdom to the man, the myth, the legend? (Insert questioning face emoji)…

It’s good to the see the team still have a sense of humour after I’ve banished them all to the naughty corner and told them coal is on the cards this christmas unless they get their acts together. It’s been a long year here at A Mind of Its Own, a long but enjoyable year. We’ve covered so many topics and continue to advocate that its ok to talk and more importantly it is more than ok not to be ok. The challenge comes in knowing it’s not weak to ask for help but takes more strength than most people realise. It’s at this time of year that I genuinely become drained both physically and emotionally. As people, we often don’t realise how much we give to others throughout the year. We support both friends and family in some cases so we don’t have to deal with what is going on in our own backyards and in other cases because it’s just what we’ve always done. We’ve always been that shoulder to lean on, that bag to punch, that friend that is always there when we need them.

We do it all without little regard for ourselves and our own physical and emotional wellbeing. Like most things though in life, we can only take so much before it all comes crashing down like a proverbial house of cards. For me it manifests itself in various ways but one in particular is sheer tiredness. I find myself sleeping more and more and feeling somewhat lethargic throughout the day. I struggle to keep my emotions in check and find myself leaning more and more on my coping mechanisms. The big one for me being my writing and spending my time my happy place. There is something cathartic about putting all my thoughts and feelings down on paper whether it be with a pen or taping them out in the virtual world. To me nothing beats that sound of the click, clack of keys as my thoughts appear on the screen before me.

Overtime I have learnt not to fear what I write and more importantly to share it. Whether that be with close friends and family or strangers through this blog. Having to get past the vulnerability and being scared of what and how people will perceive my writing has helped me to not only share my story but helped in my day to day struggles as I battle my own mind, thoughts and insecurities, as i get them out for the world to see. It took me a long time to be ok with letting people know I suffer from mental health issues, but now that I have I realise i am not alone and there are so many people around the world battling day to day like me. Spreading the message that its ok to talk and it’s ok not to be ok is something that didn’t come easy at first but now it’s second nature and hopefully by putting myself out there I am encouraging other who a struggling to speak up and seek some help or confide in a loved one or friend.

Having multiple projects on the go at once allows me to pick and choose depending on my mood, emotions and feelings which one I work on. It also allows me to plan for the future in terms of my writing. When things get really dire I find myself exercising a lot more and even meditating to keep myself balanced. Whilst the brain is a beautiful thing I find that mine can often be destructive and troublesome given the time to wander and analyse life way too much. The constant question of self and those around me becomes tiring and at some point once that fuse it lit and begins to burn out I know there will be an explosion. How it all comes to a head is anyone’s guess. It can be any emotion from anger to sadness or a mixture of them all that leaves me feeling ashamed.

Ashamed that whilst I have gotten better over the years, I still can’t master my emotions. Being reflective I know that I only have myself to blame. I’m the one that takes on too much, who tries to be there for everyone. Who carries the world upon my shoulders as though it is my duty to ensure everyone is ok. Without looking after the one person I rely on the most. ME. It’s a flaw that I own, that I know I can work on overtime. During this holiday period I urge everyone to make sure they take some time out to look after themselves. Self Care is so important and is often overlooked. I can honestly put my hand up and say that my own well being is always the least of my concerns. Finding excuses is not hard, there is always some doing it tougher than I am or going through something that requires immediate attention. Like I said finding an excuse to not have to deal with myself is always easy. Its doing the hard things we often shy away from.

It’s usually this time of year that things will bubble to the surface, those questions that have been haunting me all year, the self loathing, the feelings of being stuck in a dead-end job and the unreasonable insecurities that tend to rear their ugly heads as I have way too much time on my hands to think and over analyse. In years gone by I have busied myself with as much as possible, cramming my days full of things to do as a way of distracting myself from the thoughts brewing inside my head. Hence why for me in particular the holiday season is a good time for me to do a lot of self care and to get as many of my thoughts and feels down as possible. It’s a time in which I can utilise all the tools and techniques I have learnt over the years while I reset.

Whilst it is important particularly over the holidays to ask if people are ok and to be there for friends and family it is so important that you stop, take some time out for yourself and ask yourself if you are ok?. Do the things you need to recharge. Go get a massage, read a book, go to the beach, write, see a movie, go for walk, be active. Whatever it is that helps you find your happy place, a place where you can be you and have no worries. As Bobby McFerrin sang ‘Don’t worry be happy’. Some people will read this and say you are just bandaging over the problems and you are not getting to the root cause of the issues that are making you anxious or depressed, i am inclined to agree with them but I will also caution that, that is an ongoing journey and not something that is going to be fixed overnight like a pantene advertisement.

So this Christmas give yourself the gift of Self Care, you can still be there for everyone but it is important that you do look after yourself and not just those around you. Do the little things that make you happy and stick to your routines. If you gym every morning make sure you do that, if you meditate than do that, if like me you write, than write till your little heart’s content, whatever it is that makes you feel good do it. There is nothing selfish about looking after number one. After all how are you expected to look after everyone else if you can’t look after yourself. The little coping mechanisms you use to get through the days will be so important this holiday period as you will often find yourself with more time on your hands as businesses shut down for Christmas and New Year and without work as distraction for some of us that gives our minds plenty of time to wander.

One thing I often overlook is leaning on friends and family myself, whether it’s a pride thing and having to admit i need some help and can’t do it all on my own or whether its purely because I prefer to listen. I know this Christmas I will have to lean on those around me at some point. I will need my friends and family even if it’s just for an hour, a day or a week. I am only human and at some point I will fall into an emotional heap. There have been times in the past where my wife has found me on the shower floor in absolute tears because everything has become to much or my hands will make fists and hit a tree only for to realise that was stupid as it swells and requires ice. But without my friends and family to lean on it would be a battle that was constantly draining. The hardest thing again is realising its ok to vulnerable in front of them. You don’t have to be tough all the time and letting down that guard will often save you a lot pain and suffering on your own.

The holiday period is a time to catch up with friends and family but don’t feel obligated to do so. I am forever reminding myself that just because everyone else is doing it doesn’t mean I have to. There is nothing worse than dragging yourself along to something when the last thing you feel like doing is being around people and having to make small talk. You don’t have to make up excuses, don’t even need to explain why, what you do need to do is what’s best for you. If that means not attending something because you need time to yourself than take. All too often we feel we have to do things because it’s the right thing to do, the socially responsible thing to do. At the end of the day I say what’s best for you is the socially responsible thing to do, holidays are a time for doing what you want, with who you want. It’s nice to be invited places but that doesn’t mean you always have to say yes! It’s ok to say NO thank you.

If you take one thing from this blog today it is to look after yourself over this holiday period. Easier said than done, I know. I know better than most but I also know that without self care and those around me to lean on instead of everyone leaning on me I’d be a shell of emotions come the new year and questioning whether 2019 was just going to be a year of the same circles going round and round once again. Self Care does not mean you have to ignore everyone it just means looking after yourself and doing what you want and need to be the best version of you. You can still be there for friends and family you just need to put yourself first for a change. Look after you and you’ll be able to spare some emotional capacity for those who need and want your help.

For me everyday is R U Ok? Day, I will forever ask it and I will always be there to lend an ear or a shoulder for those in need. I also know that I need to look after myself in order to do that. Finding my happy place wasn’t easy but now that i know what it is i’ll always have an outlet or coping mechanism to help me through the bad days because there will be bad days. These days the good far outweigh the bad but it has taken a lot of work both mentally and physically to get to this point and the educating is far from over. There is still so much work to be done before I can truly say I am OK.

So from the main mind here at A Mind of Its Own, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Remember it’s ok not to be ok and it’s certainly ok talk. You do you as they say and look after number one this festive season. That self care is of utmost importance during the silly season. Friends and family will be there for you, as you are for them. Lean on them if you need to, there is no shame in asking for some help. From the team and I until the next episode which by the way is another milestone edition! As the title say leave the war with me and I’ll continue to fight it… Peace out hombres…

Staring at the Stars…

Why on earth would you even attempt to do that? A question that reverberated around the non-existent walls of A Mind of Its Owns writers pen. The team was doing a little research for this weeks post when we came across an article written for National Geographic regarding the death of an American. We know Americans die everyday, so what was so special about this one that it peaked our interest? Well it wasn’t the American so much but what he was doing and where he was doing it that lead to his untimely demise that caught our attention and lead to further investigation (Googling) by the team.

In a high speed, low drag world where literally everything can be connected it’s hard to imagine life without modern technology. There are those that are preparing for a Cyberdyne like fall of the world where the robots take over and we need to send the former governor of California back in time to protect or kill the future leader of the resistance depending on which movie you refer to. For those reading that are unfamiliar with the reference go and find a copy of the terminator movies and you’ll know what we are no about it here. Now back to the tracks we were chugging down so stead fast before that little detour.

A world without technology, no phone, no gps, no email, no social media! Heaven right! Well we know some of you are thinking it! We certainly are! There is no way the boss could harass us to prepare anything for a deadline if we can’t be found or contacted. But a place like this in modern society? Does it exist? Well to answer that question in one word… Yes but how you ask? Well in actually fact there are a couple of remaining remote tribes and by remote they are in places that a lot of people have failed to venture or have tried and failed. These tribes have populated these locations for 100’s of years if not more. They are so used to their surroundings they know every inch of the earth they walk. They also know when someone doesn’t belong, as the main protagonist of this blog soon found out.

Untouched for over 55,000 years North Sentinel island is where this little doozy of a story, albeith true takes place. Enter out protagonist Mr John Chau an American missionary who set out to introduce Christianity to the earth’s most stone age tribe. Its at this point we’ll point out that At A Mind of Its Own holds no religious beliefs nor do we condone the killing or persecution of any religious beliefs either. We are stating facts and the views portrayed in this blog are ours and ours only. We do not wish or mean any offence that people may read into throughout this blog.

So Mr Chau set out to help push our stone age friends towards the faith and words of the lord jesus our saviour in the eyes of so many around the world. Hiring some local fishing talent from the nearby Andaman & Nicobar Islands they dropped him into the shallows of North Sentinel Island, watched him wade ashore before he was cut down in his prime by a shower of arrows. Yes ladies and gentle arrows and not those fired by today’s latest and greatest composite bows hunters use. We a talking about made from wood and bird feathers fired from a branch of a tree that has been turned into a bow. Wearing little more than a loincloth Mr Chau’s would be murderers stalked there way from the island jungle onto the beach and arrowed him down in cold blood.

A lot of you at this point are thinking that it is quite a barbaric act cutting someone down in their prime for wanting to spread the word of christ, however it is no different to someone gunning down a would be robber breaking into your house. May just seem a little more barbaric due the ancient weaponry involved. It is after all trespassing on someone’s land. This certain someone just happened to be a tribe who have remained untouched by the modern world for centuries. Largely undocumented mainly due to their aggression and disdain for outsiders. Over the years many have tried to document the tribe and bring them into the modern world through dropping toys and random gifts on the shores. Sadly Mr Chau isn’t the only person who has bought the farm trying to make contact with this tribe.

So who are the Sentinelese and where did they originate from? Thought to be over 30,000 years old the tribe that occupies North Sentinel Island has remained largely untouched. Know for there aggression to the outside world it is not a surprise that Mr Chau’s death is yet another in a string of deaths of outsiders venturing to the island in attempts to make contact with this remote tribe. While Mr Chau’s death is a tragedy it does raise a lot of questions as to how and why he thought he would be so different from those that have gone before him? The Islands inhabitants are notorious for firing on fisherman who venture too close and have been known to have killed explorers and adventurers in the past.

The biggest question it raises is why do we continually feel we need to change what is different. This tribe has survived for thousands of years without western medicine, believes, society and influences. Over the years we have tried to change that and it’s only through the tribes continued aggression towards the outside world that they have managed to fight off the advancements of the western world. There is nothing to prove we would be doing them a favour by introducing technology, religion and so forth. In fact we are more likely to bring disease and death with us, things this remote tribe have managed to avoid over the years due to the remoteness of the island and once again their hostility to the outside world.

We take our hat off to the tribe for not being more curious and wondering what else is out there, the elders if they operate in that sort of system have done a great job in continuing the traditions handed down through the generations and ensuring the ways of the island continue as they have since the tribe arrived there. Whenever that was, where ever it was from. Thought to have originated somewhere in Africa after all it does sit as part of the cradle of civilisation, the tribe which no doubt has seafaring knowledge, we are taking a guess here but just looking at a map would tell you they didn’t just fall from the sky and land in the middle of the indian ocean on a remote island.

In the mind’s eye or the eyes of A Mind of its Own we feel they should be left to go about things the way they have always done. It is not a right that we change how people live. They have survived this long without us and will continue to survive without us. So let’s not influence something that has flourished for generations because it is our incessant need to improve or change that which we don’t understand. Whilst Mr Chau’s vision of spreading christianity was a noble cause he believed in, religion is said to be responsible for a lot of wars in fact the war on terror has become a religious war based on a few bad eggs who have extremist views of a book written centuries ago.

Who’s to say what is write or wrong, nations were founded on invaders coming in and taking over lands but look how that’s worked out for all of us. It is in our opinion that being humans we are often curious. Great discoveries have been founded by inquisition and many of our great minds wanting to understand the who, what, where and why of it all. That still doesn’t give us a right to change things for others. Sure if asked for helped then yes it would be ok but when outward aggression is shown, march yourself back down the beach and swim for that boat you got off and leave the natives alone. While some readers may agree, others won’t and that is ok. Opinions are opinions and everyone is entitled to them as long as you don’t try and push them on others. Open debate and discussion are fine but as soon as you start to push something on people its a step too far in our eyes.

Staring at the stars we think you’ve got our view on the subject. We feel it’s not ok to change and influence the Sentinelese but as we just said that’s our opinion. We don’t condone murder but perhaps a little more research and thought from Mr Chau may see him alive today. The Indian government have been urged not to try and retrieve his body which we kind of agree with. The likelihood of others getting injured or killed is exteremly high. The Sentinelese being gunned down an unable to repel modern military is also high. Whatever there secrets are theres and theirs alone. We need to respect that and leave them to continue as they are. Unspoilt and untouched by modern society.

Enough said from the team here, if you are interested in hearing more about the Sentinelese head on over to our good friends at google and use your noggins. There is little known about them but what is know is interesting and looking at all those who have tried to understand more about them is also quite a little adventure if you’re looking for something to kill time with rather than playing candy crush. Till next time, why don’t you be you and we’ll be us and everyone can be happy. From the team here at the world’s premium blogspot, welcome to the last month of the year! Thank heavens we need a holiday from real!

Devil on my shoulder…

We promised you a second piece last week, we promised that double dose of a mind of its own. We owe you an apology, often we don’t see what goes on behind closed doors and last week for the team it was a massive reminder of that. The generally funny and often quirky blog that you all love to read is going to get a little serious for our second installment this week and touch on a subject that has affected 100s of 1000s of people around the globe. Normally this is where we’d insert a joke or two and take a track down the rabbit hole with Alice but not this time. This time we are seriously going to be be serious.

Since its inception A Mind of Its Own has been very vocal about mental health awareness and ensuring Australians in particular are getting the help and support they need. We’ve discussed how it is ok to speak out, how young men and women have battled with there demons. How we are slowly evolving and becoming more and more open with our thoughts, feelings, emotions and that there is potentially a further place that our conscious minds go to when our body’s kick the bucket and give up. That we potentially come back over and over again to awaken those that need help seeing their is a higher being if you will.

No matter what your beliefs we can all agree that women’s and men’s mental health awareness needs a little more support and a little more work particularly around suicide prevention. Its a topic people tend to shy away from, a topic that saddens people and a topic that well to be honest is one that most people would prefer to lock away in the taboo chest never to be spoken of again. No one knows the pain and anguish people must go through to feel that suicide is their only option left to stop the pain, stop the hurting, stop the thoughts, stop the burden they often feel they are.

It seems we all have a devil on our shoulder as per the title but for some its often worse than we’ll ever know. Whether your devil is drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, addiction of any form or mental illness there are options for you, there is help for you. We know there are those that will read this and say we have no idea what people are going through and you would be right, we don’t. No one really knows what goes on behind closed doors but believe that with the right help and support there is a solution for everyone out there and being advocates of mental health awareness and suicide prevention we can only try and help those who need it before its too late.

By starting the conversation we hope that men, women and children around the globe start to have a conversation and seek the help, support and stability they need. We need more options for those who feel the only option they have left is to take their own lives. By doing so we often wonder whether they have considered the legacy of pain they will leave behind. The long lasting effects on family and friends who will question for years to come whether they did enough for the fallen. Why hadn’t they reached out, why hadn’t they just ask if they were ok and needed to talk?

Across the country there are programs, charities, support groups and even medical institutes to help shoot the devil on your shoulder. It’s never an easy road to walk when seeking help but the moment you do, the weight of the world can often feel like its been lifted from you. The hardest part though is often admitting to yourself that you need some help and can’t do it all on your own. Once you’ve jumped that hurdle there will be plenty more to come but the closer you get to that often elusive finish line that keeps moving as life shifts and throws more hurdles in your way. The more it moves the more you have to dig deep and get out of your comfort zone but that is something that will become easier the more you accept needing some help and the more you open up about your demons.

As individuals we can do our part and ensure we are asking people if they are ok, a simple conversation can save a life or even make someone’s day. Even if it’s not the topic they really want to talk about, people often just like having someone there to listen and make conversation with them. Over time those conversation will become more and more in depth as you build trust between you. But just being there for friends and family is the first step in helping them help themselves. You can offer advice or suggestions but most of the time the best help you can be is to just be there and listen.

That devil on your shoulder whether it be your thoughts, your addiction or some other problem or issue can be shot. We know several people both friends and family who are forever trying to shot the devil on their shoulder. Over time it becomes easier and easier but it has taken them a lot of hard work and fair amount of pain to get where they are. But as they say you’ve got to take the good with the bad right? And it’s the things are that are always tough and hard that are worth doing. There will be those the uneducated we like to call them that will never understand the struggles and pain that those fighting a mental illness go through day in, day out out. It’s a constant battle that will often get the better of you but we learn to adapt and overcome the more we chose to fight it.

The option to fight may not always be the easiest choice or the one that family and friends decide to go with and it’s those moments where the black dog wins swallowing the ones we love and care about that bring pain and from time to time a legacy with it. Whilst we can never tell someone what to do or make them do anything they don’t want to we can provide them with options and do the small things to help them out as much as possible. Be there and provide that support but don’t make them feel like a burden. Seek professional help and support them through their journey.

For those of us feeling like we’ve exhausted all options remember this, you hold the key, the power and the ability to fight it, you just might not know it yet or how to, but given time and the right support and help you will discover all the tools and techniques to fight that devil in your own time and your own way. We just need to accept that it’s ok to need and to ask for help from time to time. There is no shame in admitting you have a problem that you need help with. It’s more empowering than you may think admitting you are struggling and can’t do it all on your own.

From the team at A Mind of Its Own, we thank you for taking the time to read this blog. To all those that have lost someone before their time to suicide, illness whatever it might be our thoughts are with you. There are no words that can make the loss any easier we can just say that those loved ones are never forgotten and will always be remembered, we can honour them by changing tune and making sure people know that it’s ok to talk and by asking those around us if they are ok or just starting a conversation. Until the next post our friends if you or a loved one need some support, guidance and or help below are the details for a couple places to make a start if you are feeling as though you can’t go to a friend or family…

Lifeline Australia

13 11 14

http://www.lifeline.org.au

Beyond Blue

1300 224 636

http://www.beyondblue.org.au

Beauty in the Bricks…

As the heavens open up and bathe the earth once again we thought it was about time we hit you with a dose of the best distraction pill available on the market. That’s right the doctor has spoken and prescribed you with a dose of A Mind of its Own to aile your woes. It’s been a couple of weeks since we last graced your screens with our rather unique brand of blogging, straight from some of the strangest minds in all of Australasia. Our off kilter approach to the worlds issues has the health authorities wondering whether they should have us all thrown in the loony bin.

For the first time in a while the team here stopped and took a look at the world around them. The ins and outs of what was happening in the world and the human beings ability to continue to adapt and overcome. There are plenty of unanswered questions about the world, particularly those about our purpose and how we came to be at the top of the evolutionary food chain. But all those can wait for another time and another place. If you wanted to read about that you’d have logged on to National Geographic or the Discovery channel website.

What do the people want to actually read about? You know it’s funny as human beings one would think we wanted to hear about nice things happening in the world but as the marketers say there are only two things that sell news papers. Sex and things that no one wants to hear about like murder, robbery and anything of the ill elk. Well sex isn’t really our forte and we promise you’ll never get a 50 shades of grey from us.The things no one wants to hear about, well they are rather depressing. Hence why the team here tend to have no idea what’s happening in the world. The news is never on and the papers are rarely bought and if they are it’s only to help start the fire at the manor.

So what does this weeks blog have install for the faithful A Mind of its Own followers, good damn question. With so much happening around the world and so much happening around us there should be a million and one things for the talented team here to write about but it seems like a case of writer’s block has infected the whole team. Without a dose of antiblocktics lying around we’ve had to tough it out and pull together something that will hopefully make sense and allow you to enjoy yet again another blog from our stellar team.

We’ve had some great feedback over the past couple of months from our followers ranging from great content to it’s an enjoyable read while i’m on the toilet. The last one was a little strange and disturbing but at least we now know that we are making toilet breaks around the world a little easier on the minds of those reading along while they void their bowels of their last meals waste. Sounds pretty shit it if you ask us, pun intended! So besides being a toilet break filler for those that need one, we tend to try and be educational, funny and a little on the crazy side when we can.

Speaking of the crazy side, the team has been playing a lot of Red Dead Redemption 2 as of late on the Xbox. An escape from reality as some of the wives continue to point out but never the less a distraction from the troubles in the world around us. The Rockstar games western themed second installment of the Red Dead series got us thinking about when times were a lot simpler. Simpler, yet harder in some aspects. Riding around America in the early 1800’s on a trusty steed with a pistol strapped to your thigh, the wind running past your face as you gallop through plains and meadows chasing your next dollar by robbing a stagecoach or train that’s if you wish to be an outlaw. You could be part of a posse chasing down those outlaws and bringing them to justice. Each to their own we say.

Oh how the world has changed since the days of the wild west, no longer is it socially acceptable to-day drink, well it is as long as you are at a function and it’s in a licensed venue or in the comfort of your own home. Office settings are not an acceptable place to drink or start a brawl when someone offends you and you need to defend your honor. You can no longer sit in the main straight swigging from a whiskey bottle, saying howdy and tipping your hat to every man, woman and child that walks past unless it’s concealed in a brown paper bag even then it tends draws a lot of attention.

A lot has changed since the days of outlaw gangs and cowboys. People no longer ride horses in gangs and have swapped the graceful beasts for the metal version on two wheels. They still tend to draw the outlaw tag and often are stereotyped into being part of a gang whether they ride for recreation or they truly are outlaws who run drugs, guns, prostitution and rob people or places in order to make a living. When we referenced that it was an easier time we were referring to the fact that towns or cities were small and miles in between, you could disappear for weeks on end and live off the land if you had to. Taxes were something you generally avoided and wearing chaps as a male was acceptable in all places aside from a strip club.

There were many other things the team came across that we noticed were different from back then till now. Hygiene wasn’t really high on the priority list with bathing happening every so often in some cases they took better care of their trusty mounts then they did themselves. You could camp where and when you pleased without the need of a permit and payment for use of the ground. Hunting just happened and tended to be your source of food while living off the land and there was no such thing as a balanced meal.

In fact everything that is now considered bad for you was considered to be good for from smoking through to sucking out the poison from someones snake bite and drinking heavily while operating firearms from a horse. Ok so maybe we’ve painted a picture that all cowboys were drunks that’s not the case but they did tend to drink quite heavily. Saloon brawls were a common occurrence and duels were an actual thing. Yeah fastest draw wins literally, their life and their honor back. Pace it out ten steps and fastest to draw their weapon and fire, it was as simple as that and it was done for money and for pride on a regular occurence with most of the town watching on..

We don’t think you could challenge the new graduate who mouths off around the water cooler to a duel, gun him down and walk away a hero these days. Firstly murder is not ok, secondly the workplace is not the place for firearms unless you work at a gun shop and thirdly today we are told to use our words. One thing that has changed overtime is chivalry, it is no longer deemed chivalrous to pay for everything and be a gentleman. People are just as likely to go on dates these days and the lady pays. Call us old-fashioned but some traditions shouldn’t change and good manners cost you nothing.

A lot of things may have changed for the better however there are a few things that make us turn around these days and think toughen the beep up. Where as in the old days you would be pushed in the mud and taught that it was not ok to not be tough. Hence the place we are in today where it is not ok for men to show weakness, compassion and anything that would not be deemed manly, it definitely was not ok to talk about your feelings as a man in the wild west. You would be labelled a yellow belly or a coward. But at least kids weren’t soft and got trophies for participating even if they finish last. As Ricky Bobby said “If you ain’t first, you’re last”.

So what have learnt from playing a game that is a lot like a my little pony simulator for men, teaching you to tend and care for your mighty steed? Other than being drunk in the 1800’s was a mandatory requirement each day. Being an outlaw was somewhat cool despite having to hurt and often murder people just so you could earn a living. After all you were your own boss, grifting from town to town, gang to gang. Stealing was a common occurrence and if you were good at it you tended to have your own gang. The law often appointed themselves and were just as corrupt as they still are today. The tobacco industry was in its infancy of becoming a world power, the church was its usual god fearing, preaching self and railway tycoons were the one true power throughout the land.

Much like today if you had money you had power, if you had power it often went to your head and you only wanted more of both. Whilst being a cowboy looks somewhat cool it would have been a hard life both mentally and physically. For now we are just happy that we were born in this century and have the luxuries that allow us to live quite comfortable lives. Oh and the fact that when we run out of ideas as to what to write about we can turn to an alternative source of inspiration. Virtual reality or augmented reality, well in this case video games that got us thinking about how life has changed and how we have a little more respect for ourselves and each other. We said a little…

One slow and we say slow because it’s still dragging its heels through the mud like a lame mare, change that has definitely changed is the way women were treated. We aren’t saying its in a good place now but it is certainly a lot better than back then. Like a caveman belting a prospective wife over the head with his club and dragging a woman into his cave. The wild west was not short of its share of violence against women. So the team are glad that has changed and there are no more damsels in distress requiring a cowboy to come along and defend their honor. These days there are a lot of women who would kick your arse at the mere suggestion. You go girls! As some of the younger generation are pointing out they can do anything including the things you thought only men can.

From the often confused and wonderful minds here it’s time for us to say farewell for another week, tip our hats, spit out our tobacco, slap our horses on the rump and ride blissfully into the sunset. We hope besides learning that day drinking was a thing and cowboys now ride motorcycles the message from this weeks post is that violence of any sort if not ok, especially against women. Until next week partners we hope you enjoyed another foray into A Mind of Its Own. Stay tuned for a double dose this week as we come at you with another post about god knows what but it is sure to keep you distracted somehow.